Chapter 32
I hastened across the long dark courtyard and found the door of the little room referred to. A head was to be seen at the lighted window.
Lorand was standing there melting the ice on the panes with his breath, that he might see when the person he was expecting arrived.
Oh how he must have loved her. What a desperate struggle awaited me!
When he saw me from the window, he disappeared from it, and hurried to meet me.
At the door we met and in astonishment he asked:
"How did you get here?"
I said nothing, but embraced him, and determined that even if he cut me in pieces, I would never part from him.
"Why did you come after me? How did you find your way hither?"
I saw he was annoyed. He was displeased that I had come.
"Those, who saw you take your seat in a carriage, directed me."
He visibly shuddered.
"Who saw me?"
"Don't be afraid. Someone who will not betray you."
"But what do you want? Why did you come after me?"
"You know, dear Lorand, when we left home mother whispered in my ear, 'take care of Lorand,' when grandmother left us here, she whispered in my ear, 'take care of your brother.' They will ask me to give account of how I loved you. And what shall I tell them, if they ask me 'where were you when Lorand stood in direst danger?'"
Lorand was touched; he pressed me close to his heart, saying:--
"But, how can you help me?"
"I don't know. I only
This very naive answer roused Lorand to anger.
"You will go to h.e.l.l with me! Do I want irons on my feet to hinder my steps when I scarce know myself whither I shall fly? I know not how to rescue myself, and must I rescue you too?"
Lorand was in a violent rage and strove to shake me off from him. Yet I would not leave go of him.
"What if I intend to rescue you?"
"You?" he said, looking at me, and thrusting his hands in his pockets.
"What part of me will you defend?"
"Your honor, Lorand."
Lorand drew back at these words.
"My honor?"
"And mine:--You know that father left us one in common, one we cannot divide--his unsullied name. It is entirely mine, just as it is entirely yours."
Lorand shrugged his shoulders indifferently.
"Let it be yours entirely: I give over my claim."
This indifference towards the most sacred ideas quite embittered me. I was beside myself, I must break out.
"Yes, because you wish to take the name of a wandering actor, and to elope with a woman who has a husband."
"Who told you?" Lorand exclaimed, standing before me with clenched fists.
I was far from being afraid of anyone: I answered coolly.
"That woman's husband."
Lorand was silent and began to walk feverishly up and down the narrow, short, little room. Suddenly he stopped, and half aside addressed me, always in the same pa.s.sionate tones.
"Desi, you are still a child."
"I know."
"There are things which cannot yet be explained to you."
"On such subjects you may hold your peace."
"You have spoken with that woman's husband?"
"He said, you had eloped with his wife."
"And that is why you came after me?"
"Yes."
"Now what do you want?"
"I want you to leave that woman."
"Have you lost your senses?"
"Mine? Not yet."
"You wish perhaps to hint that I have lost mine: it is possible, very possible."
Therewith he sat down beside the table, and leaning his chin on his hands, began to gaze abstractedly into the candle-flames like some real lunatic.
I stepped up to him, and laid my head on his shoulder.