Chapter 35
48 are under church discipline.
67 have fallen asleep.
271 are therefore to be deducted from 843, so that there are only 572 at present in communion.
88 have been added during the past year, of whom 30 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
III. The Lord?s goodness as to my temporal supplies during this year.
1. The Lord has been pleased to give me by means of the anonymous freewill offerings of the saints, put into the boxes at our meeting places 116 2s. 4 3/4d.
2. By presents in money from the brethren among whom I labour in Bristol 43 9s. 9d.
3. By presents in money from children of G.o.d not living in Bristol 53 19s. 0d.
4. By presents in provisions, clothes, furniture, etc., from the saints among whom I labour, worth to us at least 15 0s. 0d.
5. By presents in clothes, &c., from believers not living in Bristol, worth to us at least 10 0s. 0d.
Altogether 238 11s. 1 3/4d.
Thus during this year also, without asking any one but the Lord for help, with regard to ray temporal necessities, I have been richly supplied with all I needed; yea, I have had much more than I needed.
January 1, 1842. Last night we had our usual prayer-meeting at the close of the year, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till half-past twelve.
Jan. 3. This evening we had a most precious public prayer-meeting.
When the usual time for closing the meeting came, it appeared to me that there was a desire to continue to wait upon the Lord. I therefore proposed to the brethren that those who had bodily strength, time, and a desire for waiting still longer upon the Lord, would do so. At least thirty remained, and we continued till after ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. I never knew prayer more really in the Spirit. I experienced for myself unusual nearness to the Lord, and was enabled to ask in faith, nothing doubting.
On the 1st of January came in for the Orphans 1l.7s. 6d.; on the 2nd 10l. 13s. 7d.; and today came in from Plymouth 6l., from Exmouth 5l., from a sister in Bristol 5l., and from the East Indies 2l. I have by this 30l. 1s. 1d. been enabled, as it had been my prayer, to give some money to the other five sisters who labour in the Orphan Houses, for their own personal necessities.
Jan. 4. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. After a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance. Today the same brother, who has been spoken of under November 2nd, and who has drawn his money out of the Savings?-bank to spend it for the Lord, sent 20l. more of it. There came in also from Guernsey 1l., and 1l. 7s. besides. I am now able to order oatmeal from Scotland, buy materials for the boys? clothes, order shoes, etc.
Thus the Lord has been pleased to answer all our requests with respect to the pecuniary necessities of the Orphans, which we have brought before Him in our prayer meetings during the last seven weeks. We have thus had of late an abundance, but the expenses have been great also; for within the last twenty-five days I have paid out above 100l.
Jan. 22. As only little above 32l. had been received since the 4th, there was today again only 1l. 8s. 0 1/2d. in hand, whilst 31, 8s.
was needed, it being Sat.u.r.day. However, as the Lord has helped us very many Sat.u.r.days, when we had still less at the commencement of the day, so it was today also. About an hour before the money was called for, I received from the neighbourhood of Crediton 4l., which came with the especial recommendation of a gentleman and lady to introduce the use of oatmeal in the Orphan-Houses, if we had not done so, and this money was sent towards the first supply. We have, however, used oatmeal now for many months, and have found it decidedly of great benefit to the children As about a fortnight since I had ordered 10l. worth from Glasgow, this money came in most seasonably to supply the other necessities of this day.
Jan. 24. Yesterday the Lord sent in 3l. 5s. 7d., to supply the need of this day.
Jan. 25. There was now again this morning nothing in hand for the Orphans. About ten o?clock there was sent to me, as the produce of an Orphan box, a small necklace, an old sixpence, and 5s. 8d. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s. 9d. As this 9s. 5d. was not enough, the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, which contained 17s. 2d., and thus we were again supplied.
Perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have read thus far: "How would it be, suppose the funds for the Orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were to come, and you had no food for the children." Thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked. If ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the living G.o.d, or that "we regard iniquity in our hearts," then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. But so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the living G.o.d, and so long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur. Therefore, dear reader, if you yourself walk with G.o.d, and if, on that account, His glory is dear to you, I affectionately and earnestly entreat you to beseech Him to uphold us; for how awful would be the disgrace brought upon His holy name, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in Him, and have spoken well of Him, should be left to disgrace Him, either by unbelief in the hour of trial, or by a life of sin in other respects.
Jan. 26. Again there was nothing in hand when the day commenced. In the course of the morning a gentleman from Yorks.h.i.+re came to the Orphan-Houses. He bought two Reports, and one copy of the "Improved Renderings," put 2s. 6d. into the box at the Boys-Orphan-House, and 3s. into the box at the Infant-Orphan-House. There was also one penny found in the box at the Girls?-Orphan-House. This 6s. 10d. would have provided the absolute necessities for today, but it was desirable to have more means. I therefore opened the box in my house, in which I found a sovereign and a s.h.i.+lling. We were thus comfortably provided.
Jan. 27. Last evening came in 4s. This morning a parcel arrived from E. P., containing 3s., and the following articles: 7 books, a Bible, 6 pairs of socks, 4 pairs of babies? shoes, a purse, a lady?s comb, a lady?s bag, a pair of knitted over-shoes, and 2 pairs of m.u.f.fetees.
Yesterday afternoon a gentleman came to see the Orphan-Houses, and put a sovereign into the box at the Boys?-Orphan-House, which our need has brought out. We have thus 1l. 7s. for this day.--Evening.
This afternoon came in still further 2l. from a lady at Kensington, on whose heart the Lord seems to have particularly laid the work.
Jan. 29. The two sovereigns, which came in on the 27th, supplied our need yesterday. When I had again nothing in hand, to meet today?s necessities, a sister came last evening, who brought me 1l. 6s., a sovereign from another sister, and 6s. from herself. She said: "I do not know whether the Orphans have a dinner for tomorrow or not, but I had no rest in delaying to bring this money." I had but just then come home from a meeting, and had on the way to my house been lifting up my heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased to remember our need.--This morning was sent from Clapham 1l. 2s. 6d., with 3 frocks, a petticoat, 4 handkerchiefs, and 2 pinafores.
My dear reader, do you indeed recognise the hand of G.o.d in all these instances I have given instance upon instance, I have brought before you not this particular case, nor another particular case; but I have purposely shown you how we have fared day after day in our poverty, in order that you may adore the Lord for His goodness to us, and that you yourself may be led to depend upon Him for every thing, should you not have done so before. I affectionately beseech you, not to take these instances as a matter of course. Say not in your heart, This is a charitable Inst.i.tution; persons know that the maintenance of these many Orphans, and the support of these Day Schools, etc., costs much money; and therefore they will contribute. Nor suffer Satan to rob you of the blessing which the account of the Lord?s faithfulness to us, and His readiness to listen to our supplications is calculated with G.o.d?s blessing, to communicate to you, by allowing him to whisper into your ears, that, because the Report are read by many, donations will of course be coming in, and that not all at once, but gradually, and that this is the way in which we are supplied. Dear reader, it is not thus. Suppose, we have been for some time on the whole bountifully supplied. Suppose, now all is gone.
Suppose, the expenses are great,
Feb. 5. Sat.u.r.day. As only 10l. 10s. 6d. had been received since January 29th, i. e. only so much as day by day was needed to provide necessaries for the Orphans, there is again the greatest need. It is now twelve o?clock, and there are no means as yet to meet the expenses of today. The words in the prayer of Jehoshaphat, "Neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon Thee," are at this moment the language of my heart. I likewise know not what to do, but my eyes are upon the Lord, and I am sure that He will help this day also. Our kind Father still gives us proofs that He is mindful of our need; for last evening were anonymously sent to my house, 2 waistcoats, a shawl, a net collar, 3 3/4 yards of print, 2 decanters, and Clarendon?s History of England. And just now, a small silver book, a pepper box with silver top, and some muslin work have arrived from Birmingham.--Evening. In the course of the morning came in, by sale of articles, l2s. We were able likewise to dispose of one of the articles, which were sent last evening, for 5s. This afternoon one of the labourers gave me 10s., and 3s. came in for needle-work. By means of this 1l. 10s. we were able to supply all that was needed.
Feb. 7. Yesterday was received 1l. 13s. 5d., and today 5s. 6d.
Feb. 8. By what came in yesterday, and the day before, the need of yesterday was supplied, and there is enough in all the houses for the meals of today; but in none of the houses have we been able to take in any bread; and as yesterday also but little could be taken in, there will not remain any for tomorrow; nor is there money enough to take in milk tomorrow morning. There are likewise coals needed in two houses. Indeed, so far as I know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the Lord were not to send means before nine o?clock tomorrow morning, His name would be dishonoured. But I am fully a.s.sured that He will not leave us.--Evening. The Lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for tomorrow, but He has given us a fresh proof that He is mindful of us. Between four and five o?clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the Orphans. These cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies.
There was also found in the boxes at the Orphan-Houses, 2s. l 1/2d., and 1s. 4d. came in for stockings. These little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of tomorrow; yea, before nine o?clock tomorrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. Truly, we are poorer than ever; but, through grace, my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the Lord only.
Feb. 9. This morning I went between seven and eight o clock to the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in any thing. When I arrived there, He had just two or three minutes before sent help.--A brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the Lord was pleased to lay the Orphans upon his heart. He said, however, to himself, I cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. Nevertheless he could not go any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to brother R. B., at the Boys?-Orphan-House, three sovereigns. [The donor himself stated this to me afterwards.]--Thus the Lord in His faithfulness helped us. Help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the Lord ever come more manifestly from Himself; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was between seven and eight o?clock in the morning, and it was so short a time before money was needed. Consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the Lord. Praise Him particularly, that He enabled us to trust in Him in this trying hour. There came in besides, today, 7s. 6d.
Feb. 11. The 3l. 11s. 6d. supplied our need the last two days. Today again a few s.h.i.+llings more were needed, which one of the labourers was able to give of his own; but this was only enough to take in the usual quant.i.ty of milk, and some bread.
Feb. 12. Sat.u.r.day. Never since the funds were for the first time exhausted, had there come in less during any week, than during this.
We were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. When the meal times came, the Lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear Orphans are very well provided for. Now this day began not only without there being any thing in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days. One of the labourers gave 5s. in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. I collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o?clock for 4s. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s., and 12s. was paid on behalf of one of the Orphans. Thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a little towards purchasing bread, but by no means enough.
All the labourers were together in prayer from half-past eleven till one, and me separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. When I came home, there was given to me an old broken silver pencil case, which, though worth very little, I took as a fresh proof that our Father was mindful of our need. When we met again this evening, we found that 3s. 6d. had come in by sale of stockings, and 6d. for two Reports. As all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for 4s., also the broken pencil ease for 6d. I say needless articles, for other articles it did not seem right to us to dispose of, in order that the Lord?s own deliverance might be manifest. A labourer was also still further able to give 7s. of his own. To one of the labourers 2s. had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the Orphans, came in most seasonably.
Thus we had 1l. 18s. 6d., as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on Monday morning. However, the Lord helped still further. Between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the labourers for himself, by which means he was able to give 9s., so that altogether 2l. 7s. 6d. had come in this day.
This has been of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying, so far as it regards the trial of faith. Thanks to the Lord, who has helped us this day also! Thanks to Him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise Him for the deliverance, which we were sure He would work!
Feb. 14. Yesterday came in from Wolverhampton 1l. 2s. 6d. and a necklace. There was also given to me 1l. 0s. 6d., which had come in by sale of articles, and 6d. for Reports. In the course of this day came in still further 3l. 2s. 4d.
Feb. 15. By needlework came in 4s. 9d.
Feb. 16. This morning there was now again only sufficient money in hand to take in milk at two of the houses; but as a labourer was able to give 6s. 6d., we had sufficient for the milk, and had also enough, with the provisions that were in the houses, to provide for the dinner. Nothing more came in in the course of the morning, nor was I able to make inquiries how matters stood. In the afternoon between three and four o?clock, having once more besought the Lord to send us help, I sat peacefully down to give myself to meditation over the Word, considering that that was now my service, though I knew not whether there was a morsel of bread for tea in any one of the houses, but being a.s.sured that the Lord would provide. For, through grace, my mind is so fully a.s.sured of the faithfulness of the Lord, that, in the midst of the greatest need, I am enabled in peace to go about my other work. Indeed, did not the Lord give me this, which is the result of trusting in Him, I should scarcely be able to work at all; for it is now comparatively a rare thing that a day comes, when I am not in need for one or the other part of the work. Scarcely had I sat down to meditate, when a note was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, in which brother R. B., master of the Orphan Boys, had written thus: "On visiting the sisters in the Infant and Girls?-Orphan-Houses, I found them in the greatest need. There was not bread in one of the houses for tea this evening, and the 6s. 6d. was scarcely enough to supply what was needed for the dinner. I therefore opened the box in the Boys?-Orphan-House, and most unexpectedly found 1l. in it. Thus, through the kindness of the Lord, we were again abundantly supplied as it regards present necessities."--In the evening the Lord, in His love and faithfulness, stretched out His hand still farther. I had expounded at the meeting a part of John xi. The last words of which I spoke were: "Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of G.o.d?" When the meeting was over, as a fresh proof of the truth of this word, a note was given to me, in which a sick sister sent me 5l. for the Orphans.
Feb. 17 and 18. These two days came in 8s. 2d.
Feb. 19. Sat.u.r.day. Our means were now again completely spent. Our provision stores, were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous Sat.u.r.day. There was not the least human likelihood of obtaining menus for sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for two days. When I went before breakfast to the Orphan-Houses, I found a letter from Nottingham, containing 1s., which had arrived last evening. This was not only a sweet proof that our Father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that He would supply us this day also with all we required. In the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings 4s. 11d. In the box at my house I found 1s. One of the labourers gave 4s. 10d. Thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day.
We met between eleven and twelve o?clock for prayer. When we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from Nottingham, with another s.h.i.+lling. This was a further sweet proof of our Father?s loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for tomorrow, the Lord?s day. At eight o?clock I separated from my fellow-labourers, as I expected brother R. C. to arrive a little after eight at my house. I therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the Orphan-Houses what the Lord might send in by post or in any other way. It was now half-past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for tomorrow. A few moments after, brother C. arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half a sovereign, which he brought for the Orphans. I soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the 10s. to the brother whom I had brought with me from the Orphan Houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus, between nine and ten o?clock, sufficient bread could be bought. Observe! For the trial of our faith the Lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. When, however, brother C. had arrived, having money for the Orphans, he could not delay giving it at once, a matter most worthy of notice. This has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances.
Feb. 21. Since Sat.u.r.day evening came in 1l. 8s. 11d. There was also sent from Plymouth, a piece of blond, a piece of quilling net, and eleven pairs of children?s stockings, for sale. Thus we were supplied with means for that which was requisite for the beginning of this day; but as our stores had been so reduced at the end of last week, there was not enough for tea this afternoon. Four o?clock had now come, one hour before the usual tea time, when a brother from Somersets.h.i.+re came to see the Orphan-Houses, and put a sovereign into each of the boxes. Our great need soon brought out the money, and thus we were supplied. [Observe! The brother (as he himself told me a few days after in the course of conversation), had but little time, and therefore rather hastily went over the houses. Had he stayed long and conversed much, as might have been the case, his donations would not have been in time for the tea.] There came in 1s. besides, by needlework done by the children.
Feb. 22. This morning a parcel arrived from the neighbourhood of Manchester, containing 4 old silver thimbles, 1 seal, 2 gold pins, 10 cent (an American coin), a buckle, a watch key, a broken seal, some pamphlets and 549 sheets of Hintwafers.
Feb. 23. We were again in want of means. A few of the articles which had come from Manchester were disposed of, and one of the labourers was able to give enough for what remained to be supplied.--The narrative of time events of these days is most imperfect. The way in which the Lord stretched out His hand day by day, and from meal to meal, cannot be accurately described. To enter fully into it, one need be a witness to His inspecting the stores, so to speak, from meal to meal, and giving us those things which we needed.
Feb. 24. Yesterday the following clothes were sent: 3 pairs of boys?
trousers, 2 boys? dresses, 2 frocks, a spencer, 5 pairs of children?s stays, a pair of boots, and a few other little articles. The clothes were all much worn, and in other respects not fit for the Orphans; but the Lord used them to supply us with the means for the dinner, as they were disposed of this morning. In the afternoon we again met for prayer. On my way to the Orphan-Houses, between four and five, when I knew that there would not be any bread, at least in one of the houses, for tea, I felt quite peaceful, being fully a.s.sured that for this meal also the Lord would provide. On inquiry I found that there was bread enough in the Girls?-Orphan-House, none at all in the Boys?-Orphan-House, but enough in the Infant-Orphan-House both for the Infants and Boys. Therefore we were at this time supplied by the bread which was not needed at the Infant-Orphan-House. We have thus this day also what is absolutely needful. But now there is no bread in any of the houses, nor scarcely any thing else in the way of provisions.
Feb. 25. Greater than now our need had never been. Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. Indeed, so much so, that most of the labourers felt today considerably tried. Yet neither this day has the Lord suffered us to be confounded. Through a remarkable circ.u.mstance one of the labourers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of today could be amply met. In the afternoon a physician of this city kindly sent 1l. for the Orphans, which was a sweet proof to us, when we met for prayer, that our kind Father had not forgotten us. Also on my way to the prayer-meeting at the Orphan-Houses I received 9s.