Chapter 34
Nov. 23. Yesterday came in 5s. for stockings, which provided today the means for the breakfast in the Boys?-Orphan-House. A sister sent also a gammon and some peas. Now we are very poor indeed. One of the labourers was able to provide a dinner in the Girls?-Orphan-House out of his own means. In this our great need came in 17s. 6d. by sale of Reports, which money had been expected for some months past, but which the Lord sent just now most seasonably. Besides this, 2s. 6d.
was also received for the children?s needlework. Thus we were provided for this day also. In the afternoon the Lord gave us a still further proof of the continuance of His loving care over us, now that we are so poor; for a box arrived from Plymouth, containing clothes, trinkets, etc.
Nov. 24. We have been daily meeting for prayer the last twelve days.
Today, just before I was going to the meeting, one of the articles, which came in the box from Plymouth yesterday afternoon, was sold for 2l. 2s., which sum supplies us with means for this day. The donors may not have thought, perhaps, that their bounty would so soon be needed.--When I came to the prayer-meeting, I heard of a little circ.u.mstance which is worthy of notice. The Infant Orphans took a walk this morning with their teacher. A poor woman came to her, whilst they were walking, and gave her two pence for the benefit of the Orphans, adding "It is but a trifle, but I must give it you."
Now, one of these two pence had been needed, by the time I came, to make up the little sum which was required for the bread.--This afternoon was received still further 9d., and also 12s. by the sale of some of the articles which came from Plymouth.
Nov. 25. With 12s. ld. we began the day, which was not sufficient for all that was required. In the afternoon came in 11s. for knitting.
Thus we had enough for this day also.
Nov. 26. One of the labourers gave 5s.; 11s. came in by sale of articles, and 6d. was taken out of the box in my house. Little as this was, yet we were able to procure with it all that was really needful; but now our provision stock is very much reduced.
Nov. 27. This is Sat.u.r.day, and nothing at all was in hand when the day commenced. My especial prayer had been, that the Lord would, be pleased early in the morning to send us supplies, as otherwise there would not be sufficient for dinner. Accordingly, about 10 o?clock, a parcel came from Clapham, containing 11s. and the following articles: 12 yards of calico, a frock, a chemise, 2 petticoats, a flannel ditto, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 pinafores, a furnished workbag, an old silver thimble, and half a franc. Thus the Lord kindly provided us with means for the dinner, and we took it as a token for good that He would send what else might be needed this day. There came in still further in the course of the afternoon, by sale of an article, given by one of the labourers, 5s.; by sale of some lithographic sketches, given by one of the labourers, 4s. 6d.; by sale of articles given some time since, 16s.; by sale of stockings, 2s. 9d.; and by a donation, 2s. Thus the Lord was pleased to give us in the course of this day 2l. 1s. 3d., while we were in the greatest need in the morning, and without any natural prospect of having the means which were required for the day.
Nov. 29. The Lord has kindly sent in supplies. Yesterday was given altogether 5l. 19s. 7d. These two weeks we have been likewise in the greatest poverty in reference to the Day Schools; but the Lord has almost daily sent in a little to supply the absolute necessities of the brethren and sisters, who are engaged in that part of the work.
Nov. 30. Though 5l. 19s. 7d. had been given, yet, as the stores had been previously so reduced, there was again some more money needed today. 5s. came in by sale of articles, and one of the labourers gave some money of his own. In this time of great need there arrived a parcel, sent anonymously, which contained the following articles: 3 combs, 6 sh.e.l.ls, 5 pairs of gilt bracelets, 4 single bracelets, a pair of ditto, a gilt chain, a gilt necklace, a cornelian ditto, a bead ditto, a brooch, a buckle, 2 pairs of earrings, 3 rings, 3 pairs of drops, and a single ear-ring.
Dec. 1. Again there were many s.h.i.+llings needed for this day. At the Boys?-Orphan-House matters stood so in the morning, that, with an addition of eight pence, the dinner could be provided; but there was only seven pence in hand. Brother B. having heard that something had been put last evening into the box at the Girls?-Orphan-House, went, and it was found to be one penny, which an aged sister had put in, whereby the present need was supplied. Even the gift of this one penny was thus evidently under the ordering of our kind Father, who not in anger, but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. About ten o?clock this morning was sent by post, half a sovereign. In the letter was written: "From the wife of a clergyman, for the Orphan-Houses, Nov. 30 1841." This donation was truly sweet, as coming from our faithful Lord, though it was not nearly enough. But He had pity on us, and sent in still further today by the sale of stockings 5s., and by the sale of other articles 12s.
Dec. 2. In the course of this morning was sold a part of the trinkets which came on Nov. 30th, for 1l. 4s. 10d. Besides this came in by sale of articles 1s. 6d. Thus was our present need supplied in the afternoon 3l. was sent by a sister from Plymouth, and by a sister in Bristol was given to me 2s.
Dec. 3 and 4. 1l. 10s. 6d. has been received during these two days.
Dec. 6. Yesterday the Lord again, in His faithful love, sent in means for the need of today. A gentleman from Devons.h.i.+re came to me after the meeting, introduced himself as a brother, and gave me 5l. for the work of the Lord, as it might be needed. I had pleasant brotherly communion with him, but he preferred not to give me his name. Besides this, came in 18s. 11 1/2d. by sale of articles. As this 18s. 11 1/2d. was not enough for the supply of the Orphans for this day, there being nothing at all in hand besides, and 1l. more needed, I took 1l. of the 5l. for the Orphans, and 4l. for the other objects.
Through the same stranger I received also 2s. 6d. from a sister.
There came in this evening 1l. 3s. besides.
By the 4l. which I took of the 5l. given by the gentleman from Devons.h.i.+re, the most pressing need with regard to the teachers in the Day Schools is relieved. This stranger gave me also 1l. for Missionary purposes.
Dec. 7. Three weeks and three days we have now been daily meeting for prayer, on account of the state of the funds, and to ask the Lord?s blessing upon the work. We have been daily asking Him to supply us with means for the School-Bible-Missionary-and Tract Fund. Now, today, in this our great poverty, was sent by a sister from one of the Northern counties, whom I have never seen, the sum of 50l. of which, according to her wish, 10l. is to be applied to each of these objects, and 10l. for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us a little help, which is greatly needed for all the objects: for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely needful, the Bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the Tract stock is quite exhausted, and to some Missionary
When this money came, there was none at all in hand for the Orphans, though for many reasons fresh supplies were much needed. By this 10l., then, the Lord has again helped us for the present. There was likewise sent anonymously by post, 1l.
Dec. 9. Today came in for the Orphans by the sale of stockings 10s.
10d.--We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings at which for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for awhile both the public meetings and the publis.h.i.+ng of the Report Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being a.s.sured, that, if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as He should enable us to depend on Himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord?s dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circ.u.mstances we were actuated by some such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living G.o.d alone, and not upon public meetings or printed Reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circ.u.mstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying any thing. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the Report for a few months.
Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did.--I now proceed where I left off.
Dec. 11. Since the day before yesterday the following sums came in for the Orphans, whereby the need of yesterday and today has been supplied. A brother gave 2l. A little boy and girl brought the produce of their savings? banks, amounting to 19s. 5d. By the sale of stockings came in 15s. 1d., and by six donations 10s. 6d.
Dec. 13. Yesterday came in 1l. 11s. 6d., and today 10s. By this 2l.
1s. 6d. this day?s need has been met. There was also, very seasonably, half a ton of coals sent to each of the three Orphan-Houses.
Dec. 14. Yesterday afternoon a lady sent a sovereign for the Orphans.
There came in 15s. 6d. besides. Thus we had enough for this day likewise.
Dec. 15. Having now again nothing in hand for the Orphans, the boxes were opened, in which 4s. 4d. was found. This, with a little which one of the labourers was able to add of his own, helped us through the day.
From Nov. 12 up to this day, my fellow-labourers in the Church and I have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellows.h.i.+p, and some of them we have seen repeatedly. How can we sufficiently praise the Lord for still continuing to use us in His service.
Dec. 16. Nothing at all had come in for the Orphans; but as one of the labourers had last evening, most unexpectedly, received some money from a distance of about two hundred miles, and as the Lord inclined his heart to give of it for the present need, we were supplied for today also.
Dec. 17. In like manner we are helped today.
Dec. 18. Sat.u.r.day morning. There is now the greatest need, and only 4d. in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.--Pause a few moments, dear reader! Observe two things! We acted for G.o.d in delaying the public meetings and the publis.h.i.+ng of the Report; but G.o.d?s way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in G.o.d?s ways.
The Lord was saying by this poverty, "I will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me." Of all the seasons that I had ever pa.s.sed through since I had been living in this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from Dec. 12, 1841, to April 12, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publis.h.i.+ng the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of G.o.d were looking forward to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived under His guidance.--Now to return to Sat.u.r.day, Dec.
18th. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the course of the morning 6s. came in. We had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after the labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this, all that was needed for tea could be procured. Another labourer gave 3s.
6d. and two books, which were sold for 4s. There came in still further in the course of the afternoon and evening:--by sale of stockings, 8s. 8d.; by needlework, 8d.; and by sale of articles, 5s.
Thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies had amounted to 2l. 8s. 2d., enough for all that was required today. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed that three more of the Orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children.
Dec. 20. The Lord has again kindly sent fresh supplies. A sister gave 1l.; a servant sent 1l.; another servant, 2s 6d. by sale of articles l3s. 1d. This morning, just before was going to the prayer-meeting, a lady brought 3l.; and 5s. more I received this evening.
Dec. 21. Though 6s. 0s. 7d. had been received yesterday and the day before, there was only 5s. remaining towards the supply of the necessities of today. At one o?clock three little boys gave me the produce of their Orphan-box, which was 4s. 7d. When I came home, I found that 18l. had come in, being a legacy left for the Orphans by a lady who died at the commencement of the year. This money comes in most seasonably, not merely for the supply of the wants of the children, but also as enabling me to give to some of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses supplies for themselves.
Dec. 23. This is now the sixth week that the labourers in the Day-Schools and Orphan-Houses have daily met for prayer. Several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. One of our pet.i.tions has been that the Lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street School-room. But though we had often mentioned this matter before the Lord, he seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, while walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an unusual a.s.surance that the time was now come when the Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that He would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed, without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not a.s.semble the children again, after the Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear reader, observe:--This morning I received from A. B. 20l., and we have thus much more than is required for a stove.
Dec. 24. On the 22nd and 23rd 2l. 0s. 5d. came in for the Orphans.
The need of today was 3l. 10s., but only 3l. was in hand. This afternoon, however, 1l. was sent from Kensington and 1l. from Plymouth. This evening we received still further anonymously 4s., and by knitting 2l. 10s.
Dec. 25. By sale of articles was received 14s. 2d.
Dec. 26. This afternoon I was walking in my little garden, meditating on and turning into prayer Rom. viii. 28-32. When I came to verse 32, the necessity of the Orphans came to my mind, as tomorrow we shall again need more money than there is in hand, and I therefore asked the Lord that He would be pleased to give me a fresh proof that He will "freely give us all things," by supplying our present need. This evening I spoke on the above-mentioned pa.s.sage, and after the meeting a sister gave to my wife 12l., of which 10l. was for the Orphans, and 2l. for my own necessities. There came in 5s. besides.
Dec. 31. As only 1l. l5s. had been received since the 26th, there was again nothing in hand towards the need of this day. About an hour before the money was sent for from the Orphan-Houses, an individual who lives in Redcliff Parish, Bristol, sent 5l. By sale of stockings came in likewise 3s. 6d.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1841.
I. In reading over my journal, I find that the Lord has given me during this year many precious answers to prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in the previous part of the Narrative.
I mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: 1, One of the Orphan-Boys needed to be apprenticed. I knew of no suitable believing master, who would take an in-door apprentice. I gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the Lord. I marked it down among the subjects for which I would daily ask the Lord; and at last, though from May 21 to September I had to pray about the matter, the Lord granted my request; for in September I found a suitable place for him. 2, On May 23rd I began to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the Lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the Lord granted me my request. 3, On June 15th I began to ask the Lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his service towards the world and the church; but which, in consequence, was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this dear brother. This pet.i.tion I brought many times before the Lord. The year pa.s.sed away, and it was not granted. But yet at last this request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who, I know, prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some years in this state, it is now [in 1845] two years and more since he has been quite restored. 4, On June 15th I also began to ask the Lord daily, in His mercy to keep a sister in the Lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the very border of it; and I have now [in 1845] to record to His praise, after nearly four years have pa.s.sed away, that the Lord has kept her from it. 5, During this year I was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners, that I ever heard of in all my service for the Lord. Repeatedly I fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the Lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of the most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him, in his bitter enmity against her for the Lord?s sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a pa.s.sion, and she would not strike him again, and the like. At the time when it was at its worst I pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in Matthew xviii. 19: "Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." And now this awful persecutor is converted. 6, On May 25th I began to ask the Lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints, among whom I labour in Bristol, than there ever yet had been among them; and now I have to record to the praise of the Lord that truly He has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while I am writing this for the press (1845). Not that we have attained to what we might; we are far, very far from it; but the Lord has been very, very good to us, and we have most abundant cause for thanksgiving.
II. The state of the church with reference to numbers, etc.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in communion, when we came to Bristol.
775 have been admitted into communion since we came to Bristol.
843 would be, therefore, the total number of those in communion with us, had there been no changes. But,
101 have left Bristol.
55 have left us, but are still in Bristol