Chapter 39
Dec. 17. This morning we three again waited unitedly upon the Lord, as there was not enough for the necessities of the Orphan-Houses for this day. Moreover, the teachers in the Day Schools need supplies.
Between ten and eleven o?clock I received by the first delivery a letter, containing half a sovereign with these words: "The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. Dec. 16, 1842." It was not stated whether this money was for my own personal need, or for the Orphans, or any other object. I took it for the Orphans.--Thus we had enough, except about 2s. 6d., to provide all that was needed for today and tomorrow.
Between seven and eight o?clock this evening, a brother sent half a crown to the Boys?-Orphan-House, stating that he had been thinking much about the Orphans in the course of this day, but that he had not had time to send this money sooner. Thus, by the kindness of the Lord, we have the exact sum which is required, and are again brought to the close of another week.--Between nine and ten o?clock this evening came in still further, by the sale of articles, 2l. 7s. Thus the Lord has not only helped us to the close of the week, but given us also a little with which to begin another week.
Dec. 19. Yesterday came in by the profit of the sale of ladies? bags 1l., and in two donations 2l. By this 5l. 7s. which came in since Sat.u.r.day evening, we should have had enough for the ordinary household expenses of today; but as our stores of oatmeal, rice, peas, and Scotch barley, are either entirely or nearly exhausted, and as some calico for s.h.i.+rts and lining, besides many other little articles are needed, and as especially the teachers in the Day Schools are greatly in need of pecuniary supplies, I had been especially entreating the Lord, that He would be pleased to send us larger supplies. I rose from my knees about half-past ten this morning, and about a quarter to eleven I received a let letter from A. B. with an order for 100l., to be used as most needed in the work.
Of this sum I took for the Orphans only 25l., and for the other funds 75l. (in consideration of 50l. having been promised to be paid this week for the Orphans); and thus we are in every way again most seasonably helped. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits!"--There came in still further by three donations 3l. 10s.
On Dec. 20 and 21 there came in 2l. 15s. 3d. for the Orphans.
Dec. 22. Though there had come in above 36l. for the Orphans, during the last four days, yet as our stores needed to be replenished, and there had been several other expenses to be met, we were again today in need of farther supplies, when I received the 50l. for the Orphans, which had been promised during the last week. Thus I was able also to supply the labourers in the Orphan-Houses with some money for their own personal need.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1842.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in communion, when we came to Bristol.
848 have been admitted into communion since we came to Bristol.
916 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellows.h.i.+p with us, had there been no changes. But
131 have left Bristol.
59 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
51 are under church discipline.
74 have fallen asleep.
315 are therefore to be deducted from 916, so that there are only 601 at present in communion.
73 have been added during the past year, of whom 27 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
II. As to the supply of my temporal necessities:
1. The Lord has been pleased to send me from the saints among whom I labour in Bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us at least 10 0s. 0d.
2. In anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, and directed to me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the meeting places 113 1s. 8d.
3. In presents in money, from saints in Bristol, not given anonymously 47 8s. 1s.
4. In provisions and clothes, from saints not residing in Bristol, worth to us at least 10 0s. 0d.
5. In money from saints not residing in Bristol 149 6s. 3d.
Altogether 329 16s. 0d.
Jan. 21, 1843. From Dec. 22 up to this day the Lord was pleased to send in the donations for the Orphans so, that there was always some money received, before all was expended.--The 50l. which was given to me on Dec. 22, and between 50l. and 60l. which had come in since, was now today, Jan. 21, 1843, all spent, after the expenses of today, Sat.u.r.day, had been met, when there was given to me this evening a silver cup, a gold seal, a broken gold seal, a gold buckle, a watch hook, and a brooch. There came in also by sale of articles 2s. 6d., and by a donation 10s.
Jan. 23. Yesterday came in. 9s. and today 2l. 13s.
Jan. 24. Today came in 5l. 7s. 7d.
Jan. 25. This day I received 3l. 3s. 2 1/2d.
Jan. 28. The last money
Feb. 3. Since Jan. 28 there had come in 13l. 5s. 1d., which had fully supplied all our need; but now all was again spent, after this day?s expenses had been met, on account of which I gave myself to prayer with my wife this morning. This evening I received in answer to it 7s. by sale of articles.
Feb. 4. This morning a brother gave to me 1l. Thus we have 1l. 7s.; but as this is not nearly enough for today, we have given ourselves still further to prayer, and are now looking for supplies. While I am writing this, the Orphan has brought the letter bag to fetch 2l.
15s., which is the need of today; I am therefore looking out for help to make up this sum.--I opened the boxes in my house, in which I found 3s. 6d. With this 1l. 10s. 6d. I had to send off the boy, waiting for further supplies.--This afternoon, about five, came in by sale of articles 1l. 4s. 7d. Thus we had enough, and one penny more than was needed, and we are brought to the close of another week. O Lord, how can Thy servant sufficiently praise Thee for condescending so to listen to his requests! His soul is amazed at Thy condescension, and yet, not amazed when he considers that Thou doest it for the sake of Thy dear Son, in whom Thou dost continually look upon Thy servant!--There came in still further this evening 2s. 6d.
Feb. 6. Yesterday was intrusted to me altogether for the Orphans 2l.
17s. 6d., in eight different donations. Thus I was able to send the supplies which were needed this day in the Orphan-Houses, which required all that had come in yesterday. When now there was again nothing at all in hand, I received, about one o?clock 10l., with the following lines: "From the widow to the Orphans, a thank-offering to Him who careth for them both." Through the same donor I received at the same time from a lady and gentleman 2l. In the evening came in further 10s., by the profit of the sale of ladies? bags, and 2s. 6d.
as a donation.
Feb. 10. As during the last three days only 1l. 6s. had come in., all our money was now again expended, and nothing in hand towards the supplies of tomorrow, Sat.u.r.day, when I received this afternoon 10s., being the profit of the sale of ladies? bags. This evening came in still further with Eccles. ix. 10, 1l., by sale of articles 2s., and from a brother 2s.
Feb. 11. By what came in yesterday afternoon and evening, we had 1l.
l4s. towards the expenses of this day. But, as this was not enough, I asked the Lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning?s post brought me a post-office-order for 2l. from Stafford, of which 1l. 7s. 6d. is for the Orphans. Thus we have 3l. 1s. 6d., which is quite enough for this day.
Admire with me, my dear Reader, if you know the Lord, His seasonable help. Why does this post-office-order not come a few days sooner or later? Because the Lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it.
Surely, all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see His hand in a remarkable manner in this work.--Nor will the G.o.dly and simple minded reader say:--"There is no difference between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand; for the writing of the Reports is just the same thing." My dear Reader, there is a great difference. Suppose, that we are in need.
Suppose, that our poverty lasts for some weeks or even some months together. Is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the Lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand: and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent individuals for a.s.sistance, on the other hand? Truly, there is a great difference between these two modes. I do not mean to say that it would be acting against the precepts of the Lord to seek for help in His work by personal and individual application to believers, (though it would be in direct opposition to His will to apply to unbelievers, 2 Cor. vi. 14-18); but I act in the way in which I do for the benefit of the Church at large, cheerfully bearing the trials, and sometimes the deep trials connected with this life of faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my fellow believers might be led to see the reality of dealing with G.o.d only, and that there is such a thing as the child of G.o.d having power with G.o.d by prayer and faith.
That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can only ascribe to the riches of His condescending grace, in which He takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honour maybe manifestly His. I add only one word more: Should Satan seek to whisper into your ears: Perhaps the matter is made known after all, when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in want I prayed publicly that the Lord would send help for the Orphans, which is entirely false); I say, should it be said, that I took care that our wants were made known, I reply: Whom did I ask for any thing these many years since the work has been going on? To whom did I make known our wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work?--Nay, so far from wis.h.i.+ng to make known our need, for the purpose of influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the Inst.i.tution under my care, I have even refused to let our circ.u.mstances be known, after having been asked about them, when on simply saying that we were in need, I might have had considerable sums. Some instances of this have been given in the former part of this Narrative. In such cases I refused, in order that the hand of G.o.d only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. And such self-possession has the Lord given me, that at the times of the deepest poverty, (whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the necessities of more than 100 persons), when a donation of 5l. or 10l.
or more has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. But enough of this. I have made these few remarks, beloved Reader, lest by any means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul through reading the account of the Lord?s faithfulness and readiness to hear the prayers of His children.
Feb. 13. Monday. After having paid out on Sat.u.r.day all there was in hand, though having quite enough for that day, we had now again to look to the Lord for means, as we generally need several pounds on Mondays. At this time also our faithful Lord did not disappoint us.
For there came in late on Sat.u.r.day, by the sale of articles given for sale, 1l. 8s. 11d., and by sale of stockings, knitted by the boys, 5s. I received also since then by the profit of the sale of ladies?
bags 10s., by the boxes in my house 1s. 9d., and by two donations 6s.
There was also yesterday put into the chapel boxes, half-a-crown with these words: "Trust in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." Thus we had 2l. l4s. 2d., which was enough for the need of this day.
Feb. 14. I have received nothing since yesterday morning. Nothing therefore was in hand when money was sent for, except 1s. 6d., which was sent up from the Orphan-Houses, by the messenger who came for this day?s supplies, and which had been received yesterday at the Infant-Orphan-House. I opened the boxes at my house, in which I found 1s. WHILE THE BOY WAS WAITING FOR THE MONEY, the sister who sells the articles which are given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and who knows nothing about our present need, came and brought 12s.
for some things which she had sold. With this 14s. 6d. we are able to supply the need of today, as nothing but some bread and milk require to be purchased.
Feb. 15. 2l. 14s. came in from the neighbourhood of Rotherham, besides 1s. 9d. Thus we had enough for this day.
Feb. 16. Yesterday afternoon I received 9s. from two poor sisters at Portsmouth. This, with 9d., which was left of the money which I received yesterday, after the day?s need had been met, was all I had at the commencement of this day. In the course of the morning was sent by a lady of Ashton, 10s. more. Thus we had 19s. 9d., which sufficed for this day.