Chapter 48
Aug. 81, Sat.u.r.day. There came in a few s.h.i.+llings besides, last evening and this morning, so that I had 1l. 13s. 8d. to send to the Orphan-Houses; but I find 4l. 5s. is needed.--Evening.
There came in still further, in the morning, 5s. 6d., by sale of stockings, 1l. 8s. by sale of Reports, 15s. 1d. by sale of articles given for the purpose,5s. 5d. by sale of ladies' bags.
And in the evening was received 2l. 10s. 2d. besides, so that I had 2l. 12s. 10d. more than was actually needed.
Sept. 3, Tuesday. Since Sat.u.r.day evening there has come in, in donations 18s. 10d., by sale of Reports 2l. 3s. 1d., and by work done by the Orphan-girls 1l. 3s. 8d. Thus, with what was left on Sat.u.r.day, we have been supplied these two days.
Sept. 4. Only one farthing was in my hands this morning. Pause a moment, dear reader! Only one farthing in hand when the day commenced. Think of this, and think of nearly 140 persons to be provided for. You, poor brethren, who have six or eight children and small wages, think of this; and you, my brethren, who do not belong to the working cla.s.ses, but have, as it is called, very limited means, think of this! May you not do, what we do, under your trials? Does the Lord love you less than He loves us? Does He not love all His children with no less love than that, with which He loves His only begotten Son, according to John xvii.
20?23? Or are we better than you? Nay, are we not in ourselves poor miserable sinners as you are; and have any of the children of G.o.d any claim upon G.o.d, on account of their own worthiness? Is not that, which alone can make us worthy to receive anything from our Heavenly Father, the righteousness of the Lord Jesus, which is imputed to those who believe in Him? Therefore, dear reader, as we pray in our every need, of whatever character it may be, in connexion with this work, to our Father in Heaven for help, and as he does help us, so is He willing to help all His children who put their trust in Him. Especially do not think, that because you may not be called by G.o.d to establish Orphan-Houses and Schools for poor children, therefore you are not warranted to rely upon G.o.d, in all your need; for the blessedness of depending upon the living G.o.d may be enjoyed by all the children of G.o.d, though they are not all called by Him to such a work as this Narrative describes. Nor must you suppose, that our only trials in this work arise from want of means, so that, in carrying it on, we have to rely upon G.o.d for nothing besides this. I a.s.sure you that the want of means is the smallest trial, and that I have had far, far greater exercises of faith on account of other things in connexion with this work than those arising from the want of means. But the trials connected with the want of means I dwell upon so particularly, because that is a matter which can be understood by all, and in which the senses themselves almost force us, so to speak, to acknowledge the hand of G.o.d.--Well, let us hear then, how G.o.d helped when there was only one farthing left in my hands, on the morning of Sept. 4, 1844.
A little after nine o'clock I received a sovereign from a sister in the Lord, who does not wish the name of the place, where she resides, mentioned. Between ten and eleven o'clock the bag was sent from the Orphan-Houses, in which in a note it was stated that 1l. 2s. was required for today. Scarcely had I read this, when a fly stopped before my house, and a gentleman, Mr.?? from the neighbourhood of Manchester, was announced. I found that he was a believer, who had come on business to Bristol. He had heard about the Orphan-Houses, and expressed his surprise, that without any regular system of collection, and without personal application to any one, simply by faith and prayer, I obtained 2000l. and more yearly for the work of the Lord in my hands. This brother, whom I had never seen before, and whose name I did not even know before he came, gave me 2l., as an exemplification of what I had stated to him.--There came in still further this morning 10s., being profits froth the sale of ladies' bags. From the same donor who had sent the sovereign this morning, I received, two hours later, a box containing the following articles:--Three mourning rings, three other gold rings set with cameos, two gold watch keys, four gold lockets, a gold brooch, a silver snuffbox, six medals, three gold ear-drops, a pair of mourning earrings, a purse, two pairs of babies' shoes, a pair of card-racks, two necklaces, five ornamental hair pins, a wafer-stamp, a paper-knife, two book marks, and a great variety of polished pebbles.?Oh! how good is the Lord, and how seasonably comes His help, in our great, great need, when so much is required for clothes, &c. There came in likewise through a sister in Bath 1l., and 5s. 6d. more. Thus, besides all the articles, which have been mentioned, altogether 41l. 5s. 6d. has come in this day, at the commencement of which I had only One farthing left.
Sept. 6. Besides the money, spoken of on the 4th, only 6s. 10d. more had come in, so that, after this day's necessities had been met, there was now again nothing at all in hand. Soon after I received 3s. 6d. this also was presently spent, except 9d., when a brother from Ess.e.x came, who gave me 2l.
Sept. 7, Sat.u.r.day. Having had to pay out 10s. more, immediately after the receipt of the 2l., this day began with 1l. 10s. 9d. in hand, whilst the need was 3l. 15s. This 1l. 10s. 9d. I sent off to the Orphan-Houses, trusting in the Lord for more. And this time also my hope in G.o.d was not put to shame; for in the course of the morning came in 10s. 6d. by sale of Reports, by a donation 10s., by sale of articles 2l. 8s. 8 d., by sale of stockings 1s. 8d., and by sale of ladies' bags 4s. It was very kind of the Lord to send in this money in the course of the morning, thus providing us not only with the 3l. 15s. which was needed for housekeeping, but enabling us also to meet other unexpected expenses. In the Evening I received still further, after the need of the day had been met, but when all again was expended, a sovereign, four small old silver coins, a pair of coral earrings, and a brooch.
Sept. 8 There was the sovereign in hand which came in last evening, as a little towards the need of Monday, when I received this morning 50l., to be used as most needed. It is impossible to express how seasonably this help came, as, though our daily wants had been met day by day, yet very much is required in the way of clothes, &c. But as the need for the other objects is as great or greater, I took of this sum 30l. for them and 20l. for the Orphans. We are thus greatly encouraged to continue in prayer. Our poverty has scarcely ever lasted longer than now, yet the Lord has helped us as our absolute need has required it. The donor of this 50l. wished me to enter it with the text Philip iv. 6, judging that this text must have been often a refreshment to me in seasons of trial, as indeed it has.
From Sept. 8th to 17th came in 23l. 2s. 6 d.
Sept. 18. From A. A. 5l., by sale of Reports, 13s. 8d., and by the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 14s. 11d.
Sept. 19. This morning came in 10l. from Scotland. By this 10l., and what came in yesterday, I am able to meet the expenses of today, which were more than 16l.
Sept. 21, Sat.u.r.day. Yesterday came in from Clapham, at an hour of need, 1l. 12s. 10d., together with several articles, also 1l. from Clifton; and today by sale of Reports, 1l. 15s. 4d., and by sale of articles 14s.
9d. Thus we are brought to the close of another week, though the expenses of it have not been less than 110l. (part of which had been put by beforehand). At the close of the week I have not more than 3s. left but the Lord will provide.
Sept. 22. Lord's-day morning. This morning I received from the neighbourhood of Crediton 10l., and from Sidmouth 10l., of which 8l. is for the Orphans, and 2l. for my own personal expenses. Likewise from A.
A. 2s. 2 d., for Reports 4s., and in the Chapel boxes was put anonymously 6d., ditto 2s. 6d. ditto 2s. 6d., ditto 6d. with these words: "Be still and know that I am G.o.d." How precious this word, and how have I seen today again the truth of it!--Three days ago a sister in the Lord, who is a servant, came to me, and brought me 9l. 16s. which she had drawn out of the Savings' Bank, considering it the Lord's will that she should not keep it there any longer, but spend it for him.
She gave me the money that I might do with it as I thought right.
However, I sent her home again with the money, advising her to weigh the matter still further, and to pray still further about it, and to count the cost; and if she was of the same mind, after some days, to come again to me. Now this afternoon this sister came again, with her little all, 9l. 16s. As she had now, for a long time, weighed the matter (according to her own statement), and as there had three days more pa.s.sed away since I had sent her home again with the money, and as I found her grounded upon Scripture for what she was going to do, I could not refuse the money. See portioned it out thus: 2l. for her father, brother, and sister, 1l. 10s. for the poor believers in fellows.h.i.+p with us, 1l. for the Chapel expenses, and 1l. for missionary purposes. This left 4l. 6s., of which she would give me 2l. which I declined, in order that there might not be even the appearance as if I had persuaded this poor servant to draw her money out of the Savings' Bank. She then wished me to give brother Craik 1l., which I accepted for him, and as I saw she wept, because I would not receive anything for myself, I said I would take a sovereign. This I did, that she might not think I refused her Christian kindness because she was a poor servant. The remaining 2l.
6s. she gave for the Orphans.?By the donations which have come in today I am able to meet almost all the expenses connected with the procuring of many articles of clothing and furniture, for which I have long been praying.
Oct. 1. Since the 22nd many pounds have come in, though not any sums above 5l. Now this evening I have received a bank order for 70l., to be used as the Lord might direct me. The donor wishes me to let him know if anything particular should be connected with this donation. There is indeed much connected with it, as it comes most manifestly in answer to prayer; for thus I am able to supply all that is needed in the way of articles of clothes for the Orphans, for which I have been long waiting upon the Lord, and as the winter is now drawing near, the winter-clothes need to be got ready; further, I am able to have the Boys'
Orphan-House painted inside and coloured down, which is much needed; I am able to furnish all the labourers in the Orphan-Houses with some money for themselves, which, on account of our long-continued poverty, I had not been able to do for six months. Yet; though the donation comes in so seasonably, I cannot write to the kind donor thus, lest he should be induced to give more, by my exposing our circ.u.mstances, and lest also the hand of G.o.d should not be so manifest, in providing me with means for the work, as otherwise it would.
?I took of this money 40l. for the Orphans, and 30l. for the other funds.--During the last two weeks I have had to pay out for the work about 200l., and this week I shall have to pay out again about 60l. Thus the Lord helps continually.
Nov. 1. Since Oct. 1st there has come in such an abundance, that without any difficulty I have been able to meet all the expenses for the Orphans, though during the week ending Oct. 5th I had to pay out 59l., during the week ending on the 12th above 40l., during the week ending on the 19th nearly 40l., and during the week ending on the 26th about 50l.
Of the many donations which came in during this period I will only mention the following: From a small town in the kingdom of Wirtemburg 1s. 8d.; from Nice, in France, 1l.; from a missionary in the East Indies 14l. 12s. 6d. Notice, dear reader, how the Lord sends donations from Wirtemburg, France, and the East Indies! Great, however,
Nov. 11. From Nov. 1st up to this day we went on easily. There came in again many donations. Now, however, we were again very poor, having had again very heavy expenses. In this great need a ten pound note was this afternoon put into an Orphan-box in my house. This evening I received also still further, from a brother who labours in Demerara, 1l., and 1l.
10s. besides.
Nov. 13. Yesterday and today came in again more than 10l. Our expenses having again been very great, as during these three days above 30l. had been paid out for the Orphans, we were still poor, notwithstanding the considerable income during the last three days. Under these circ.u.mstances a ring was given to me this afternoon, set with one large and six small brilliants. How kind of the Lord, thus to help us continually in the work, and to listen to our supplications, which, day after day, we bring to him! Daring no time, since I have been engaged in this service, have the expenses been heavier than during the last four months; yet the Lord has always given us what we have needed.
Nov. 18. The produce of the ring, together with about 10l, more, which had come in since the 13th, was nearly all gone again, on account of the expenses of the past week having been nearly 50l., when this morning a Christian gentleman from Devons.h.i.+re called on me, who, on leaving, left a letter on my table, containing two five pound notes, of which five pounds was for the Orphans and five pounds for three other objects. This evening I found a five pound note in one of the Orphan-boxes in my house. Thus we are again helped for the present. The name of the Lord be praised!
Nov. 21. The need of today was 4l. 5s., but there were only a few s.h.i.+llings in hand. I opened the boxes in my house, in which 1 found a sovereign and a s.h.i.+lling. The sovereign could have been put in only last evening. After family prayer I retired again for prayer, about the work as I do daily, by which means I have been helped not only to meet the very heavy expenses since July 15th, but have been helped through many and great difficulties in other respects, and have been enabled to bring many blessings upon the work. While in prayer, I received a letter from the neighbourhood of Leeds, with 5l. Thus we are helped for today. This afternoon came in still further, by sale of articles 1l. 9s., by the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 1l. 6s. 3 d.; and this evening I received 5l., being the profits from the sale of a Hymn book, which has been printed for the benefit of the Orphans. Thus we have something for the need of tomorrow also.
Nov. 23. As yesterday's expenses had to be met out of what had come in on the 21st, only 11s. 10d. having come in yesterday, and as the need of today for housekeeping was 4l. 10s., we had not enough in hand. Our precious universal remedy, prayer, was now again resorted to. About ten minutes after, I received a Post-office order from Stafford for 2l.
About twelve o'clock this morning came in still further, by the sale of some books and prints, given for the purpose, 3l. 1s., by the sale of other articles 3l. 7s. 9d., by the sale of Reports 1s. 1d., by the sale of ladies' bags 13s. 5d., and by the sale of stockings 2s. 6d. This afternoon came in still further from Glasgow 5l. Thus the day, which commenced when we had not enough in hand for its necessities, has ended in comparative abundance, though there is still little in hand for present use, as we need to provide for the rent of the houses and for the purchase of oatmeal, and therefore put by a part of the money given today. Yet we are brought to the close of another week, having been able to meet all its expenses.
Nov. 24. This morning I received a letter from the neighbourhood of Dublin, with four five pound Post-office orders. Thus the Lord has done according to my expectation; for in our usual weekly prayer meeting last evening at the Orphan-houses with the labourers in the work, I was enabled to praise the Lord, that He would provide for the need of this week also.
Dec. 2, Monday. During the last week the income had been again about 36l. But having had still many extra expenses, and, also to put by money for the rents due on the next quarter-day, there was nothing left at the close of the week. Yesterday came in 5s. 10d., 4d., 5s., 19s. 10d., and 1l. By this money we were able to meet the housekeeping expenses of this day, being only 2l. 5s.; but, having 2l. to pay out, besides the current expenses, and having understood that a brother in the Lord from Birmingham, with two other strangers, had visited the Orphan-Houses, and that money had been put into the boxes, they were opened, and 3l. 3s.
1d. was found in them. Thus I was able to send off the 2l. There came in also this afternoon 10s. for work done by a young lady, and this evening, by sale of Reports, 4s.
Dec. 3. As only 1l. 15s. was required for housekeeping today, we had enough, by what had come in yesterday afternoon and evening, and I had twopence left.
Dec. 4. The Lord has again, in the love and compa.s.sion of His fatherly heart, multiplied "the handful of meal in the barrel, and the little oil in the cruse." The twopence have been multiplied more than a thousand fold. Yesterday came in from Clapton 2s. 6d., from the county of Dorset 10l., and from A. A. 10s., being (as the donor writes) "the produce of a needless article of jewelery."
Dec. 7, Sat.u.r.day. Only 2l. 10s. 10d. having come in during the last two days (among which was a remarkable donation of 10s. from Calv, in the kingdom of Wirtemberg), I had again, after I had paid out yesterday what was required, only 2l. 10s. 3d. left, which I knew would not be half enough for this day. Yesterday afternoon came in from Sherborne 6s. This morning I had an unusually full a.s.surance that the Lord would help us this day again, though I knew that more than 8l. would be needed today, towards which there was only 2l. 16s. 3d. in hand. I praised the Lord repeatedly this morning beforehand for the help which He again would grant this day. By the first delivery arrived 10s. from the neighborhood of Kingsbridge. Thus we had 3l. 6s. 3d.; but for housekeeping we needed 5l. 10s., and for other expenses 3l. 1s. 5d. However, when the Orphan came with the letter-bag, to fetch the money, I received in it a letter from Bath, containing 5l. Thus we had enough, and more than enough, for the momentary need, as to the house-keeping expenses. About twelve o'clock came in the following sums besides: by sale of articles 4l.
5s. 8d., by sale of Reports 8d., by sale of stockings 2s. 2d., by sale of ladies' bags 3s. 9d. This evening came in still further, from Dublin, for Reports 1l. 2s., and 1l. as a donation, together with some prints, some books, etc. for sale. Thus we had all we needed, to help us to the close of the week, and were able to put by some money for the weekly rents and other expenses, to be met on quarter day.
Dec. 9, Monday. Though we had been helped abundantly on Sat.u.r.day, yet, as some money needed to be put by, we had still nothing for the beginning of this week. Yesterday came in for Reports 7s. 4d., and anonymously was put into the Chapel-boxes 1s. and 2s. 6d. There was also anonymously put into the Chapel-boxes a 50l. note, with these words: "25l. for the Orphan-Houses, and 25l. for clothing and blankets for the poor." Thus we are again most seasonably helped, and are now almost entirely prepared to meet all the expenses coming upon us a few weeks hence.
Jan. 18 1845, Sat.u.r.day. Since Dec. 9th we had always supplies sent, before the last money was given out; it was a season of rich abundance, for there came in (including the 25l. last mentioned) about 140l. Now, however, this evening, after all the expenses of the day had been met, there was nothing remaining. But admire with me, dear reader, the goodness of the Lord! This very evening He has again kindly supplied us with means for the commencement of another week. The boxes at the Orphan-Houses were opened (our need leading us to do so) in winch was found 10l. 16s., one of them containing a ten pound note. Is it not, dear reader, a precious thing to trust in the Lord? Are not ten pounds, thus received out of the hands of our Heavenly Father, as the result of faith in G.o.d, most precious? Will not you also seek to trust in Him, and depend on Him alone in all your everyday's concerns, and in all spiritual matters too? If you have not done so, do make but trial of the preciousness of this way, and you will see how pleasant and sweet it is; and if you have done so in a measure, do so yet more and more, and you will never have cause to regret it.
But, perhaps, you are not a believer; if so, you cannot trust in G.o.d, and go in all circ.u.mstances to Him, as to your Father, except you are first reconciled to him through our Lord Jesus. What you have then to do is, to learn that you are a lost, ruined, guilty sinner, deserving nothing but punishment. But, at the same time, you have to remember that G.o.d, in the greatness of His love to sinners, sent His own dear Son, that He, in their room and stead, might bear the punishment due to them, make an atonement for their sins, and fulfil the law of G.o.d in their stead, in order that every one, who believes on Him, might obtain the forgiveness of his sins, and be reckoned righteous before G.o.d. If you believe in the Lord Jesus, i.e., if you receive Him as the one whom G.o.d has declared Him to be, even the Son of G.o.d (as to His person), and the Lamb of G.o.d that takes away the sin of the world (as to His work), and if you rest upon Him, trust in Him for the salvation of your soul, then all your sins shall be forgiven. Though you have grown old in sin, though your sins have been very many and very grievous, yet the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin. Do but believe, and you shall be saved. And when thus you are reconciled to G.o.d, through faith in His dear Son, walk before Him as an obedient child, seek in child-like simplicity to go to G.o.d for every thing, and do really treat G.o.d as your father.
There arrived also this Sat.u.r.day evening, from the Isle of Wight, a small box, containing 14s. and many articles for sale.
Jan. 20, Monday. 3l. 11s, has come in besides the 11l. 10s., which came in on Sat.u.r.day evening; but as, in addition to the ordinary house-keeping expenses, I had this afternoon to order material for boys' clothes, all the money which had come in since Sat.u.r.day evening was now again gone. About an hour afterwards I found that two five-pound notes had been put into one of the boxes at my house, and at the same time I received a bank order for 16l. from a poor missionary brother, who labours about 3,000 miles from Bristol~ in dependence upon the Lord for his temporal supplies. Of this 16l. the sum of 12l. is to be employed in sending him Bibles and New Testaments, and 4l. he gives to the Orphans. What ways has not the Lord to help His children who trust in Him! Who would suppose that a poor missionary would send 4l. for the Orphans, from a distance of 3,000 miles? But rather must the ravens again bring supplies, as in the days of Elijah, than that the children of G.o.d, who trust in their Heavenly Father, should not have their need supplied.?Thus the Lord has again given 14l. for the Orphans, when all was gone.
Jan. 25, Sat.u.r.day evening. We have been helped through the heavy expenses of this week, without lacking any thing; but now we have nothing left.--This evening, about ten o'clock, I received from Barnstaple some articles for sale, and a Spanish dollar, two of a franc, and a sixpence; also 1l. and 2l. Also sixpence for Reports.
Jan. 27, Monday. Yesterday I received from F. E. B. 2s. 6d., from "Friends to the Inst.i.tution" 4l.; and 2s. 6d. was put into the Chapel-boxes anonymously, ditto 10s., ditto 2s. 6d. Thus, by what came in on Sat.u.r.day evening and yesterday, I am able to meet this day's demands, being 4l. 5s. 6d.--Evening. This afternoon I received from Camerton 5l., of which 3l. is for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and 2l. for the Orphans. Thus, as the money goes out, the Lord kindly sends in supplies, and all without speaking to one human being about our necessities, but making them known to Him only; yea, determined, by His help and support, rather to endure many trials, in order that through our difficulties the Church of Christ at large may be comforted, and those who are weak in faith be strengthened, than to go away from the door of our Heavenly Father to that of brethren.
Feb. 1, Sat.u.r.day. We are brought to the close of another week, and have been supplied with all we needed; but there is now again nothing left.
Feb. 2. When now again there was nothing left last evening in my hands for the beginning of the coming week, there have been today, by two different donors, two five-pound notes put into the Chapel-boxes, ditto 2s. 6d., ditto 2s. 6d., and also 2s. 6d. was given besides. Thus we are again supplied fur the present. O Lord, fill my--heart with lively grat.i.tude for all Thy goodness! Lord help me, not only to trust in Thee more and more, but also to love Thee more and more, seeing that Thou dost condescend to use such a poor sinful servant!
Feb. 8, Sat.u.r.day evening. Above 30l. has come in during this week; but as there have been bought eight hundred weight of rice and eight bushels of peas, besides meeting the regular housekeeping expenses, again only a few s.h.i.+llings remain.
Feb. 10, Monday. Yesterday 2l. was sent to me, from a physician residing in Bristol; anonymously was put into the boxes at Bethesda Chapel 2s., ditto 1l., and ditto 2s. 6d. Also by A. A. was given to me 7s. 2d. I was thus able, with the few s.h.i.+llings that were left on Sat.u.r.day evening, to meet the expenses of this day, after which 7s. 10d. remained. This morning I was kept, through pressure of engagements, from having prayer, on account of the work, at the usual time; but at half-past two I united with my beloved wife and her sister in prayer, and I asked the Lord, among other blessings, also for means. As to the latter, we had answer upon answer before the close of the day. For this afternoon 1l. 5s. 9d.
arrived from Stirling. This afternoon also five sovereigns were put into the box in my room, which I happened to find out soon after. I received also this evening 5s., which had yesterday been anonymously put into the boxes at Salem Chapel. A poor brother likewise gave me 2s. Still further came in 11s. 5d.
Feb. 11. This morning I received still further a donation of 2l. This afternoon I received, as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags, 1l., and 2l. 17s. 4d. came in by sale of articles.
Feb. 12. After I had sent off this morning the money which was required for the housekeeping of today, I had again only 16s. 2 d. left, being only about one-fourth as much as is generally needed for one day, merely for housekeeping, so that there was now again a fresh call for trusting in the Lord. In the morning I met again, as usual, with my dear wife and her sister, for prayer, to ask the Lord for many blessings, in connexion with this work, and for means also. About one hour after, I received a letter from Devons.h.i.+re, containing an order for 22l., of which 10l. was for the Orphans, 2l. for a poor brother in Bristol, and 10l. for myself.--Besides having thus a fresh proof of the willingness of our Heavenly Father to answer our requests on behalf of the Orphans, there is this, moreover, to be noticed. For many months past the necessities of the poor saints among us have been particularly laid upon my heart. The word of our Lord: "Ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good," has again and again stirred me up to prayer on their behalf, and thus it was again in particular this morning. It was the coldest morning we have had the whole winter. In my morning walk for prayer and meditation I thought how well I was supplied with coals, nouris.h.i.+ng food, and warm clothing, and how many of the dear children of G.o.d might be in need; and I lifted up my heart to G.o.d to give me more means for myself, that I might be able, by actions, to show more abundant sympathy with the poor believers in their need; and it was but three hours after when I received this 10l.
for myself.?This evening was left at the Infant Orphan-House an anonymous letter, containing a sovereign for the Orphans, with the letters C. T. D.
Feb. 15, Sat.u.r.day evening. 6l. 1s. 4d. has come in since the 12th. All the wants of this week have been richly supplied, but now there was again scarcely anything left towards the coming week, when this evening, just before I was going to our usual Sat.u.r.day evening prayer meeting at the Orphan-Houses, a bank post bill for 10l. came to hand, being the gift of an aged clergyman. Thus we have a little for the next week, and we have also been able to order two hundred weight of soap, which it was very desirable to have, in order that there might be no need of using new soap for was.h.i.+ng.
Feb. 16. Today the Lord has given still more. Anonymously were put into the Chapel-boxes the following sums: A twenty-pound note, a sovereign, 2s. 6d., and 6s. There was given also by A. A. 3s. 7d., and a lady from Nottingham sent 5s. It was particularly kind of the Lord to send in this rich supply, because soon again a ton and a half of oatmeal will need to be ordered from Scotland, the rents need to be provided for, and I desire soon to be able to give again some money to the labourers in the Orphan-Houses for their own personal necessities.
March 4, Besides the 32l. 7s. 1d. that had come in on the 15th and 16th of Feb., there came in up to this day 38l. 17s. 1d., so that there was not any difficulty to meet all the demands. After I had met the expenses for housekeeping yesterday, all our means were again gone, and there was therefore nothing in hand towards the expenses of today. But the Lord helped us again; for two five-pound notes were found in one of the boxes at my house, whereby I am able to meet the need of this day, which is 3l.
Dear Reader! does your heart admire the hand of G.o.d in these instances?
Does your heart praise the Lord for His goodness to us? Does it, or does it not? If not, then I beseech you to lay aside this account of His dealings with us, and fall on your knees, and ask G.o.d to have mercy upon you, and to soften your heart, that you may be sensible of His goodness to us. Surely if you can read this account of His goodness, and it makes no impression upon you, it is a sign that your heart is not in a right state before G.o.d. I do not expect that all the readers will, as much as I do, by the grace of G.o.d, see the hand of G.o.d in all these matters, though I could wish that they did so, even a thousand times more than I do; but yet all should adore G.o.d for His great goodness to us, and should remember that what He does for us, in answering our poor sin-mixed pet.i.tions, for the sake of His dear Son, He is willing to do for them also.--Particularly notice, that the help never comes too late. We may be poor, yea, very poor; yet the help comes at the right time. We may have to wait upon the Lord, yea, even a long time; but at last He helps. It may seem as if the Lord had forgotten us, by allowing us to be poor, and very poor, and that week after week; but at last He helps abundantly, and shows that only for the trial of our faith, both for our own benefit and the benefit of those who might hear of His dealings with us, has He allowed us to call so long upon Him.?By the grace of G.o.d my heart is not troubled now, whether there be much or little in hand. I am sure, that, in the best time and way, G.o.d will send help; and thus it is not only with reference to temporal supplies, but also as it regards other things that we may need, or when we may be in peculiar difficulties in other respects. When boys need to be apprenticed, or situations have to be found for the girls, and there are difficulties in the way, as we never send them out, except to believing masters and mistresses, my soul is yet at peace, because I betake myself to my Heavenly Father. When there have been infectious diseases in the Orphan-Houses, whereby, looking at it naturally, many children might be taken away through death, my soul is at peace, because I cast this burden upon the Lord, and He sustains me. When one or the other of my fellow-labourers have left the work, and I needed their place supplied, and knew of no suitable persons, I have been looking to G.o.d for help, and that has kept my heart in peace, though this is no small difficulty, as not only can no hirelings be engaged in this work, but also, in case, the individual is a true child of G.o.d, there are yet so many things to be considered as to fitness and call for the work. When all kinds of lying reports have been spread about the work and about myself in connexion with it (though they have been very much less than might have been expected), I have committed my case to the Lord; and such things, instead of casting me down, often have greatly cheered me, because they have been a fresh proof to me, that G.o.d is at work, and that, therefore, the devil is angry, and stirs up these lies. When I have had for months to leave the work, as in the year 1838, for about four months, in 1843-4, for seven months, and in 1845, for three months, being called to labour on the Continent, or being ill, as in 1838, my heart has been in perfect peace, committing all the concerns of the whole Inst.i.tution into the hand of G.o.d, considering that it was not my work but His, and that, therefore, I might be without carefulness about it. I seek to believe more and more what G.o.d says about Himself in His holy word, and it is this which gives this rest and peace to my heart, not only with reference to all the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad, but also about my own body and soul, my dear wife and child, my other dear relations, the temporal supplies for myself and family, my service in the Church in which I labour, now consisting of more than 700 believers, and the state of the Church of Christ at large.