Chapter 40
Feb. 17. Only 2s. 6d. had come in as a donation, and 2s. 4d. by knitting. This 4s. 10d. was all I could send, hoping in the Lord for more. The information I had from the Boys?-Orphan-House was, that the 4s. 10d. supplied the matrons with all that was absolutely needful for today. This evening at nine o?clock I received from sister E. Ch.
8s. 9d. for Reports. This is a most precious help, as without it there would be no means to take in the milk tomorrow morning.
Feb. 18. This morning between seven and eight o?clock I took the money which came in last night, to the Orphan-Houses, so that we were supplied for the breakfast. We had now to look to the Lord for several pounds, to meet the demands of this day, being Sat.u.r.day.
Between 10 and 11 o?clock I again with my wife besought the Lord, entreating Him, that He would be pleased to help us, when a FEW MINUTES AFTER, in this our great need, I received by the first delivery a letter from Barnstaple, containing 5l. for the Orphans.
How truly precious, to see thus so manifestly the hand of G.o.d day by day stretched out on our behalf!
Feb. 20. Monday. Most seasonable as the help had been, which the Lord so kindly had sent on Sat.u.r.day morning, and fully as it had supplied our need for that day; yet there was nothing left, after all the expenses had been met, so that we had even on Sat.u.r.day still further to wait upon the Lord for fresh supplies for this day. Now at this time likewise the Lord has appeared on our behalf. About nine o?clock on Sat.u.r.day evening arrived by post a small parcel from Yorks.h.i.+re, which contained 6 pitcher purses, 2 night caps, a watchguard, and 6l.
1s. 4d. Of this money 5l. is to be applied for Missionary purposes, 1s. 4d. for the Orphans, and 1l. as it may be needed. This 1l. I took therefore for the Orphans.
--Yesterday morning I received as a widow?s mite 1l. for the Orphans; and into the chapel boxes was put 10s. with Eccles. ix. 10, and also half-a-crown anonymously. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us altogether 2l. 13s., whereby we are able to meet this day?s expenses.
Feb. 21. We were comfortably helped through yesterday, but having provided for all the demands, there was again nothing left in my hands for today. How kind therefore of the Lord to incline the heart of the same brother, who had given me 50l. a few weeks since, to intrust me with 1l. 2s. 6d. more last night, about nine o?clock! By this donation our need for today is supplied.
Feb. 22. Only 3s. 9d. came in yesterday by sale of Reports. When this morning the letter bag was sent from the Orphan-Houses for supplies, I found a note in it, containing this: "For today there is no need of mentioning any sum, as we can make that do, which the Lord may please to send." The 3s. 9d. was all I had to send, waiting upon the Lord for more--There came in further in the course of the morning by sale of stockings 3s., and by sale of other articles, given for that purpose, 2s. 6d. Our need also led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, in which we found 11s. 6d. Thus we had a altogether, 1l. 0s. 9d., whereby we were helped through this day.
Feb. 23. Last evening I received from Bath a small parcel, containing a small telescope, a set of mother-o?-pearl counters, 7 silver buckles, and a broken silver brooch. This morning the bag was brought for money, but I had nothing in hand. WHILST THE BOY WHO BROUGHT THE LETTER BAG WAS WAITING, to receive the answer, the sister who disposes of the articles which are given for sale, (and who was no more acquainted with the state of our funds than any other person), brought 11s. 4d. With this we began the day, again trusting in the Lord for further help.
Feb. 24. Nothing more came in, in the course of yesterday morning; but a little after four o?clock I received a letter from Jersey, containing a post-office-order for 1l. for the Orphans. The donor writes thus: "Herewith you will find a post-office-order for 1l., being this year?s subscription. I had a desire to defer it to the 1st of June; but owing to my mind having been deeply worked on the present day, that this was the acceptable time, I make no scruple of availing myself of this evening?s post, which I hope will be acceptable." Jersey, 20 Feb. 1843--How manifest is the hand of the Lord in this matter! He stirs up this donor, who lives at such a distance, to remember our need, whose money indeed came in a most acceptable time.--Thus we were again helped for yesterday. A few minutes after having received the 1l. from Jersey, a brother near Bruton sent me 15s. The money, given by this donor, being always left entirely to my disposal, I took this 15s. towards the need of the Orphans for today. This morning?s post brought me half-a-sovereign from London. The letter contained only these words: "London, Feb. 22, 1843. Psalm xxvii. 14." I put this half-sovereign to the Orphan-Fund.
There came in also by knitting 1s. 4d., and through the boxes in my house 6 1/2d. Thus we had for the need of this day again, by the good hand of our Lord upon us, 1l. 6s. 10 1/2d.
Feb. 25. Sat.u.r.day. Yesterday afternoon and evening 12s. 8d. came in by knitting, and 1s. 9d. besides. This was all we had wherewith to begin the day. There came in still further in the course of today: by the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 5d., by knitting 7s. 8d., by a donation 1s., by sale of Reports 4s., by sale of an article, given for that purpose, 10s., and one of the labourers gave 6s. Thus the Lord gave us again 2l. 5s. 6d. for today?s need, and we are helped to the close of another week.--As a fresh proof, that our loving Father is still mindful of us, we received this evening a parcel and a box from Plymouth: the former contained a musical box and a piece of worsted work, the latter 10 china ornaments: all to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans.
Feb. 27. Monday. Nothing at all has come in since Sat.u.r.day. When therefore this day began, we had no means to provide what was needed.
My comfort, however, was, that our Father knew that we were needy, and that kept me at this time also in peace. Between 10 and 11 o?clock this morning I received 1l. 10s. from Guernsey. The brother, who sent the money, writes, that he had delayed in sending it, and hoped that "this was the Lord?s time," which indeed it is, for we are thus supplied for this day.
Feb. 28. Yesterday afternoon. 3s. were put into the box in my room, which our need brought out, as again this day began without our having anything in hand. I received still further to day from a brother at Crediton. 2l., being the produce of an Orphan-box in his house.--This evening I was at a Scripture-Reading-Meeting, at a brother?s house. On leaving I found half-a-crown in one of my gloves, evidently put there on purpose, which I put to the Orphan-Fund, and it was immediately taken to the Orphan-Houses. Thus we were helped through this day also, but have nothing in hand towards tomorrow.
There came in also for knitting 2s. 11d. Thus we had 2l. 8s. 5d. for this day.
March 1. There came in this morning by sale of some articles 1l. 5s.
About dinner time a clergyman, who had had one of my Narratives lent to him by one of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, returned it with 1l. 10s. for the Orphans, from himself and his two sisters. Thus we were again provided with all we needed for today.--This evening the Lord helped still further. I received with Eccles. ix. 10, 3l. From sister M. B. came in 1l., by knitting of the Infant-Orphans 3s. 6d., and by two donations 6s.
March 2. This day the Lord has again looked upon us in His faithful love, and sent us help, whereby I am enabled to replenish our stores with rice, peas, and Scotch barley, and am also able to put by the rent. There was found in the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 2l. 3s. 7d., which had been put in by some visitors, who saw the Orphan-Houses yesterday afternoon. There were also given to me 63 old silver coins, the greater part of them old English coins, the others old Spanish and French coins, also one crown piece current. There came in also by sale of articles and donations, besides the money for the silver coins, l6s. 10d. Thus the Lord has dealt bountifully with us these two days, after many days of poverty.
March 6. Monday. The last money had been given out last Sat.u.r.day, and only 6d. had come in yesterday, whilst our need for today, I knew, would be about 2l. About a quarter of am hour before I was called on for money, I received from a brother at Plymouth a post-office-order for 2l. 11s. 6d., and by the same post, anonymously, a French cambric handkerchief and half-a-crown. Thus our present need was again more than met.
March 7. There came in today 2l. l3s. 10d.
March 8. Today we required 3l. 10s. to supply comfortably all that was needed in the Orphan-Houses, but only 2l. 1s. 10d. was in hand.
How kind therefore of the Lord to send me a large donation, whereby we were richly supplied! The particulars of it are these:--On Oct.
25, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her, (because I thought it might prove a comfort to her at some future time,) that my house and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have one purse with me. This I said, I repeat, because I judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, (to judge from a circ.u.mstance which had occurred two days before,) every reason to believe, that she had not 5l. of her own. This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had 500l. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said, that had I known that she had any money, I should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then a.s.sured me that she possessed 500l., and that she had never seen it right, to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that as G.o.d had put this sum into her hands, without her seeking, she thought that it was a provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied scarcely any thing to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me.--After she was gone, I asked the Lord, that He would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in Himself and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of Christ, cheerfully to lay down this 500l. at His feet. From that time I repeated this my request
"Dear Brother,
"I believe the Lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that He has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in His presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your pet.i.tions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The Lord has indeed manifested His tender care of and His great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay all I have hitherto called my own, at His feet. It is a high privilege.
I write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse) to receive the money at a bank in Bristol; I will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands. Etc."
As this whole circ.u.mstance is related only for the profit of the reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, I wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when I published the last account about the Orphan-House, etc. and extracts of them were given in the last Report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edification. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to the above was this:
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
Dec. 6, 1842.
"My dear Sister,
"Your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me.
Dealing with G.o.d is a reality. Saints have power with Him through Jesus. It is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of G.o.d and His love to you in allowing me to speak to you as I did [i.e. offering her to have one purse with me; when I thought she had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great privilege might be bestowed upon you, to give up this little sum for Him. Since that hour I have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the Lord would make you so happy in Himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which He has given you in Jesus, that you might be constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet. Thus I prayed again at six o?clock this morning for you. Nor have I had the least doubt from the commencement, that the Lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I been a.s.sured that I had the pet.i.tion, that again and again I have thanked Him that He had answered my prayer, before I saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully a.s.sured since you were last here, that He was carrying on His work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of Satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the Scriptures were able to prevail; for I had asked the Lord, by His Spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brother?s word should be needed, He would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me: and, as no letter came, I felt fully confident, you were going forward in this matter in peace. When I had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, I determined, never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the Lord. Thus I purposed again during the last eighteen days; for it was not the money given up, that I cared for in you, but the money given up unto the Lord, and from right motives. On this very account I advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy His riches, His inexhaustible riches, I change my advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."
Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay: and the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, inasmuch as you do it unto Him. As you desire to intrust me with this money, I do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for Him. Etc." Then only follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my bankers?
hands.
On Dec. 18, 1842, I received a reply to my letter, which answer was begun to be written on Dec. 8th, but finished on the 16th. I give a few extracts of the letter: "Since I last saw you, dear brother, I have not had the slightest doubt as to what I ought to do: the word of G.o.d has been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept resting on it; and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to prevail, indeed, I think I may add to arise. But I feel that temptations may come, and that I may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. My heart is so deceitful and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your prayers still. Will you then, if the Lord enables you, pray that I may never offend my Father by regretting in the least measure this act of obedience, which He has by His grace inclined me to carry out.
I shall pray the Lord still to lay me on your heart. I felt so sure, that you were helped to pray for me, that I had thanked the Lord for His grace. I am glad you did not write, although I much value your advice; but I wished to be led by the Lord alone, after He had used you as the instrument in the first instance, and in such a way too, that I am quite sure He intended to bless you to my soul in this matter. I have asked my heart whether I am really doing this to Him.
My heart a.s.sures me that I am, and not from any other motive than obedience to the written word. Before I ever saw you I had asked the Lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were His will I should; but His time to make me willing had not then come; even then I had, in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case I should fall asleep in Jesus, that you might get possession of it; I had it signed by two witnesses, and I always carried it about with me when I travelled, sealed and directed to you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace the Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being thus tedious, but I am sure you will praise the Lord with me for His gracious dealings with me. Etc."--At the end of this letter, which was finished on Dec.
16, the sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of January, 1843.
When this letter came, it would have been naturally a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that I should have considerable sums. The Lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on that word, "We know that all things work together for good to them that love G.o.d," Rom. viii. 28, and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the Orphan-Houses. It was but the next day, Dec. 19, 1842, when I received 100l. from A. B., and on Dec. 22, I received 50l. from a brother in Bristol, besides other donations: so that within one week, after I had had grace to delight myself in the will of G.o.d, He gave me about 200l., whereby I was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenis.h.i.+ng the stores, &c., on account of which I should naturally have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed.
In reply to the letter, which I received from this sister on Dec. 18, I wrote another on. December 31, 1842, of which I give an extract on this subject. "The hand of the Lord is indeed most manifestly to be seen in this matter, concerning the money: the way in which your own mind was led; my speaking under the circ.u.mstances under which I did, when you were already risen to leave the room; the reason why I did so, i.e., mere sympathy with your circ.u.mstances, and thinking that some day or other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you, though you should never need it, and all this when I believed that at that time you did not possess 5l.--I have continued to pray for you, or rather the Lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. The burden of my prayer still has been, that He would be pleased to make you very happy in Himself and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to Him who gave it to you, and who gave Himself for you.--With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice. This gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you,) that you did not do the thing in haste.
I consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the Lord. You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. That you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, &c., I consider to be an especial blessing which the Lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. Humblings last our whole life. Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but He has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. I have a pa.s.sage laid on my heart for you, read the whole of it carefully: 2 Corinth. viii.
1-9, especially verse 9. Etc."
Day after day now pa.s.sed away and the money did not come. The month of January was come to an end, and February also, and the money had not come. Thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst day by day I brought my pet.i.tion before the Lord, that He would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose and intrust me with this money for His work in my hands. Amidst it all my heart was a.s.sured (judging from the earnestness which He had given me in prayer, and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of His name), that in His own time He would bring it about. But I never wrote one single line to the sister on the subject all this time. At last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day after I had daily besought the Lord about this matter, on March 8th, 1843,1 received a letter from the sister, informing me that the 500l. had been paid into the hands of my bankers.
I now wrote to the sister to inquire, whether she wished the money to be expended upon any particular objects, or whether she would leave me altogether free to expend it, as I might be led.
In reply to this she wrote me: "Dear Brother, I would still leave this little sum in the hands of Him to whom it has been given. May He alone be your guide in disposing of it. If I did express one wish, it would be, that you would make use of a part for your own or your family?s present necessity." This latter point I declined entirely, thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for myself, to avoid even the appearance as if in any measure I had sought my own things in this matter, instead of the things of Jesus Christ.
The 500l. were thus portioned out: 100l. for the School-Bible-Tract and Missionary Fund. 50l. for the Employment Fund.8 50l. was taken at once for the Orphan-Fund, and afterwards also the remaining 300l.
when, as I shall presently relate, the Lord pointed out to me to go forward in the Orphan work, and to establish a fourth Orphan-house.
I have related the particulars connected with this donation so minutely, in order to show, that though we may have long to wait upon the Lord, yea, though for one hundred and thirty-four days we may have daily the same pet.i.tion to bring before Him, yet at last He will give us the desire of our hearts, if our pet.i.tions are according to His mind. And now I only give a few lines of a letter which I received on. July 3, 1844, from the sister who gave this donation, together with my letters for which I had asked her, in order that I may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. She writes thus: "I am thankful to say that I have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret; but it is wholly of the Lord?s abounding grace. I speak it to His praise."
On March 31, 1843, I called at the Orphan-Houses, to make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way, that she had been asked by Miss G, who with her father occupied the house, No. 4, Wilson Street, to let me know that they wished to give up their house, if I would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that I had no thought of opening another Orphan-House. When I came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. I could not but ask the Lord again and again whether He would have me to open another Orphan-House, and whether the time was now come that I should serve Him still more extensively in this way. The more I pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of G.o.d moving me onwards in this service.
The following remarkable combination of circ.u.mstances struck me in particular. 1, There are more applications made for the admission of Orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the labourers will possibly admit. 2, If I did take another house for Orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as thus the labour is less, and in times of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, &c. But since the third Orphan-House was opened in Nov.
1837, there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to be let. 3, There are about fifteen children in the Infant-Orphan-House, whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed to the house for the older girls, had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in the Infant-Orphan-House remained where they were; but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention for the Infants were intended only to be left till they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and girls. This my original plan could be executed better for the future, and at once for the present, were I to open another Orphan-House. 4, I know two sisters who seem suitable labourers for this fourth Orphan-House, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. 5, There are 300l. remaining of the 500l. which I so lately received. This money may be used for the furnis.h.i.+ng and fitting up of a new Orphan-House.
So much money I have never had in hand at one time during the last five years. This seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connexion with the four other reasons. 6, The establis.h.i.+ng of a fourth Orphan-House, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly through trials of faith, a plain proof that I have not regretted this service, and that I am not tired of this precious way of depending upon the Lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children of G.o.d might be strengthened.--But most important, yea decidedly conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not convince me that I ought to go forward in this service, if the Spirit?s leading were not in connexion with them. I therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed day after day, without saying anything to any human being. I prayed two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my dear wife. On that very day, when I did mention it to her, and on which I had come to the conclusion, after three weeks? prayer and consideration in the fear of G.o.d, to establish another Orphan-House, I received from A. B.
50l. and 1l. through him from a sister. What a striking confirmation that the Lord will help, though the necessities should increase more and more. At last, on the 24th day, having been now for several days fully a.s.sured, that G.o.d would have me go forward in this service, I went to inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up the house. But here I found an apparent hinderance. Having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the Orphan-Houses, with whom Miss G. had communicated, not having given her the least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss G.
their altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house.
However, I was to call again in a week, when I should receive an answer. I was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "Lord, if Thou hast no need of another Orphan-House, I have none," was the burden of my prayer. I was willing to do G.o.d?s will, yea to delight myself in His will. And just on this very ground, because I knew I sought not my own honour but the Lord?s; because I knew I was not serving myself, but the Lord in this thing; and because I knew that with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration I had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during which I had been thus waiting upon the Lord, come to the conclusion that it was the will of G.o.d I should go forward in this service: for, these reasons I felt sure (notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss G. had told me), that I should have the house. I also especially judged, that thus it would be, because I was quite in peace, when I heard of the obstacle: a plain proof that I was not in self-will going on in this matter, but according to the leading of the Holy Ghost; for if according to my natural mind I had sought to enlarge the work, I should have been excited and uncomfortable when I met with this obstacle. After a week I called again on Mr. G. And now see how G.o.d had wrought! On the same day on which I had seen Mr. G., he went out and met with a suitable house, so that when I came the second time, he was willing to let me have the one which he then occupied in Wilson Street, and as the owner accepted me as a tenant, all the difficulties were removed, so that after the first of June we began fitting up the house, and in July the first Orphans were received.