The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan

Chapter 41

It is rude, madam, To intrude, madam, With your brood, madam, Brazen-faced!

You come here, madam, Interfere, madam, With a peer, madam.

(I am one.)

You're aware, madam, What you dare, madam, So take care, madam, And begone!

ENSEMBLE

FAIRIES (to QUEEN). PEERS Let us stay, madam; Go away, madam; I should say, madam, I should say, madam, They display, madam, You display, madam, Shocking taste. Shocking taste.

It is rude, madam, It is rude, madam, To allude, madam, To intrude, madam, To your brood, madam, With your brood, madam, Brazen-faced! Brazen-faced!

We don't fear, madam, You come here, madam, Any peer, madam, Interfere, madam, Though, my dear madam, With a peer, madam, This is one. (I am one.)

They will stare, madam, You're aware, madam, When aware, madam, What you dare, madam, What they dare, madam-- So take care, madam, What they've done! And begone!

QUEEN. Bearded by these puny mortals!

(furious). I will launch from fairy portals All the most terrific thunders In my armoury of wonders!

PHYL. (aside). Should they launch terrific wonders, All would then repent their blunders.

Surely these must be immortals.

(Exit Phyllis.)

QUEEN. Oh! Chancellor unwary It's highly necessary Your tongue to teach Respectful speech-- Your att.i.tude to vary!

Your badinage so airy, Your manner arbitrary, Are out of place When face to face With an influential Fairy.

ALL THE PEERS We never knew (aside). We were talking to An influential Fairy!

LORD CH. A plague on this vagary, I'm in a nice quandary!

Of hasty tone With dames unknown I ought to be more chary; It seems that she's a fairy From Andersen's library, And I took her for The proprietor Of a Ladies' Seminary!

PEERS. We took her for The proprietor Of a Ladies' Seminary!

QUEEN. When next your Houses do a.s.semble, You may tremble!

CELIA. Our wrath, when gentlemen offend us, Is tremendous!

LEILA. They meet, who underrate our calling, Doom appalling!

QUEEN. Take down our sentence as we speak it, And he shall wreak it!

(Indicating Strephon.) PEERS. Oh, spare us!

QUEEN. Henceforth, Strephon, cast away Crooks and pipes

ALL. Into Parliament he shall go!

Backed by our supreme authority, He'll command a large majority!

Into Parliament he shall go!

QUEEN. In the Parliamentary hive, Liberal or Conservative-- Whig or Tory--I don't know-- But into Parliament you shall go!

ALL. Into Parliament, etc.

QUEEN (speaking through music).

Every bill and every measure That may gratify his pleasure, Though your fury it arouses, Shall be pa.s.sed by both your Houses!

PEERS. Oh!

QUEEN. You shall sit, if he sees reason, Through the grouse and salmon season; PEERS. No!

QUEEN. He shall end the cherished rights You enjoy on Friday nights: PEERS. No!

QUEEN. He shall p.r.i.c.k that annual blister, Marriage with deceased wife's sister: PEERS. Mercy!

QUEEN. t.i.tles shall enn.o.ble, then, All the Common Councilmen: PEERS. Spare us!

QUEEN. Peers shall teem in Christendom, And a Duke's exalted station Be attainable by Com- Pet.i.tive Examination!

PEERS. FAIRIES and PHYLLIS.

Oh, horror! Their horror They can't dissemble Nor hide the fear that makes them tremble!

ENSEMBLE.

PEERS FAIRIES, PHYLLIS, and STREPHON.

Young Strephon is the kind of lout With Strephon for your foe, no doubt, We do not care a fig about! A fearful prospect opens out, We cannot say And who shall say What evils may What evils may Result in consequence. Result in consequence?

But lordly vengeance will pursue A hideous vengeance will pursue All kinds of common people who All n.o.blemen who venture to Oppose our views, Opppose his views, Or boldly choose Or boldly choose To offer us offence. To offer him offence.

He'd better fly at humbler game, 'Twill plunge them into grief and shame; Or our forbearance he must claim, His kind forbearance they must claim, If he'd escape If they'd escape In any shape In any shape A very painful wrench! A very painful wrench.

Your powers we dauntlessly pooh-pooh: Although our threats you now pooh-pooh, A dire revenge will fall on you. A dire revenge will fall on you, If you besiege Should he besiege Our high prestige-- Your high prestige-- (The word "prestige" is French). The word "prestige" is French).

PEERS. Our lordly style You shall not quench With base canaille!

FAIRIES. (That word is French.) PEERS. Distinction ebbs Before a herd Of vulgar plebs!

FAIRIES. (A Latin word.) PEERS. 'Twould fill with joy, And madness stark The hoi polloi!

FAIRIES. (A Greek remark.)

PEERS. One Latin word, one Greek remark, And one that's French.

FAIRIES. Your lordly style We'll quickly quench With base canaille!

PEERS. (That word is French.) FAIRIES. Distinction ebbs Before a herd Of vulgar plebs!

PEERS. (A Latin word.) FAIRIES. 'Twill fill with joy And madness stark The hoi polloi!

PEERS. (A Greek remark.)

FAIRIES. One Latin word, one Greek remark, And one that's French.

PEERS. FAIRIES.

You needn't wait: We will not wait: Away you fly! We go sky-high!

Your threatened hate Our threatened hate We won't defy! You won't defy!



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