Chapter 83
"Noc-"
He knew she wanted him to let it go.
But he saw what he saw last night. He felt it.
So he just couldn't.
"This guy has got it in him, Circe. He can be that guy for you. He might be the only one in two universes that can be. He's a warrior and he's a protector. You know where I'm at with you. I wouldn't say that if I didn't feel it in my gut that it's true."
"Noc-" she tried again.
But he kept going.
"And the most important thing about it is, you so rocked his world last night just looking at you, I know he'll take it all from you. He'll hear it and he'll get it and I mean all of it. Who you are. The power you have. What happened to you. Where you're from. He won't care if you tell him you're from the moon. The man I saw last night, babe, he just wants you."
"He terrifies me," she blurted.
That was unexpected.
Noc fell silent.
Circe looked beyond him, drew in a visible breath then looked back at him.
"He terrifies me," she whispered.
"Why?" Noc whispered back. "He's not Lahn. He's not from a place they rape women to make them their wives. I can see you looking at him and seeing only that. But that isn't who he is."
"It's not that. I saw Lahn with his Circe and I know even Lahn isn't that."
"Then what is it?"
"He's everything."
Again, unexpected.
And again, Noc fell silent.
"He's meant for me," she kept on, doing it not sounding hopeful, sounding terrified. "He's mine."
"I think from what I saw last night, you're right. He is," Noc agreed.
"I have never, not once, been happy," she told him.
Noc felt that slice through his gut.
"Circe."
"I have never, not once, except long ago in a time that seems so far away it's like it was a dream, the time my parents were alive, I have never felt love."
Christ.
She was killing him.
"Babe."
"I know I have friends who care deeply about me. That's not the same."
It wasn't.
It wasn't the love of a man.
It wasn't that love growing into family, be it a family of two or the family those two made.
"I want him," she admitted.
Finally they were getting somewhere.
He moved close, saying, "Circe, all I've been saying means you can have him."
She shook her head. "I finally escaped Baldur, only to be set upon by pirates, pa.s.sed amongst them like a toy. I escaped them, only to be put into the Wife Hunt in Korwahk. At my end, I spirited myself away, only to put my twin in my place where she was promptly violated."
"That worked out," he reminded her.
"But it could have been disastrous," she reminded him.
"It wasn't," he stated.
"It could have been, and the point is, Noc, I don't have very good luck."
"You are not wrong about that, Circe, and now you're at a crossroads. You can live safe, which means you live half a life, or you can keep trying your luck because, serious as s.h.i.+t, babe, you're long due for a windfall and I see it right within your reach. You just gotta reach for it."
She looked hopeful before that melted to uncertain.
"What if he doesn't want me?" she asked almost shyly.
Noc fought a grin.
"Babe, were you conscious last night?" he asked back.
Again with the hope that went uncertain.
She lifted and dropped her free hand. "I'm a witch. I'm from another world. I've had...things have been done to me..."
She trailed off and Noc reached out and took her hand.
"Those things were done to you. Those things don't make you. You are what you've always been, Circe. A beautiful, strong, caring woman. You took all that was piled on you and never gave up. You escaped Baldur only to end up in a situation that was just as bad. You got kidnapped and landed in another bad situation and you still didn't give up. You found a way to get out. That could have gone really bad, but it didn't, and in the end, the woman you switched with is
"You're very sweet," she murmured.
"Maybe. But mostly I'm very right."
She gave that a moment to sink in before she stated, "This remains to be seen but there is something you're wrong about and that's that you couldn't be 'that guy' for me."
s.h.i.+t.
What?
He made himself stay close, holding her hand, hoping like f.u.c.k he hadn't read what went on between them months ago wrong.
He saw a small smile touch her mouth before she shared, "I don't mean I wanted that between us, and it wouldn't matter because, you'll remember, you didn't want that either. What was understood then is understood now. But you speak like you're not the kind of man strong enough to be 'that guy' who can be all he needs to be for a woman who needs him to be just that. But if you weren't, then Franka would be in a very different place right now and not looking like the gold of the sun s.h.i.+nes through her, when before she looked weighed down by the blanket of eternal night."
It was that that made Noc release her and step back.
At his movements, her brows drew together.
"You are that man, Noc, you must know this," she said gently.
He shook his head. "I was just the guy who happened to be there when s.h.i.+t went down and looking back, I was half in love with her already so I'm lucky this is where we ended up."
When he was done speaking, she stared at him, murmuring, "Lucky?"
He ignored that and carried on. "But we're not talking about me."
Before he could say more, Circe b.u.t.ted in.
"We weren't. We are now."
"I'm here right now for you," he a.s.serted.
"Then good. Thank you. So I'll make a deal with you, Noc. I'll think about not playing it safe. I'll think about trying my luck. But only if you'll think about the absolute rubbish you just handed me."
Noc felt his head jerk and his jaw tighten.
"You're right, I know her story," she said softly. "And I need to speak to her. I was..." she gave a short shake of her head, "not myself last night. I was cruel even knowing she didn't deserve it. I will...I'll apologize. But Noc, it's impossible for me to understand how you can come here championing this man for me not knowing you're that man for Franka."
He was getting impatient.
"Again, Circe, we're not talking about me."
"You said this Dax would be the one who would be lucky if I took a chance. I wonder, if I asked Franka, who she felt was the lucky one between her and you."
"She can think that it's her but I know the truth."
She studied him closely, doing this speaking.
"I had everything, a loving family, a magical gift, and it was all swept from me by a cruel and twisted man. Your Franka, I can't even think on it, Noc, knowing from her first breath, she had nothing. Until she had you."
His words were tight when he stated, "Not gonna repeat myself, Circe."
"I can't believe you don't see what's inside you," she whispered, her gaze searching.
"I'm just a guy."
"You are not just a guy," she stated firmly.
He was done in a way they both were going to be done.
"All right, I'm the guy who made it all good for Franka," he lied. "There it is. Now I said that, our deal. I'm going from here to my woman, and if you give me the go ahead, when I get there, we'll call Dax and ask him to dinner tomorrow night. At my place. Me, him, Franka and you."
"You only said what you said about yourself so I'd make that deal," she accused.
She was correct.
Noc didn't confirm that.
He didn't say anything.
Suddenly, what he'd just suggested hit her and her concern for him fled as anxiety again took hold.
"Your decision, your life and I stand by whatever you decide," he said. "I'll make Franka do it, and if I can pull it off, I'll make Valentine do it. But I don't think I have to go on record to say, if you don't come to dinner tomorrow night, don't try your luck one last time and do it for a shot at happiness with this guy, I think you're making a big mistake."
"I'll come to dinner," she replied in such a soft voice he almost didn't hear her.
So relieved, he couldn't stop himself, he reached out and pulled her into his arms to give her a tight hug.
"That's the right decision," he said into the top of her hair.
"I hope it is," she said into his chest.
He lifted his head and she leaned back but he didn't let her go.
"It is," he a.s.sured.
She pressed her lips together, still visibly anxious.
"Come early," he urged. "Sit with Franka. Talk to her. Get to know her. Drink some wine. You'll be in a safe place with your people around you looking after you. You feel uncomfortable or anything, we'll take care of you. I promise you that, Circe. Swear."
"I believe you."
He gave her a squeeze and then slowly let her go, murmuring, "Good. Now I gotta get to my truck to call Frannie and let her know it's all good. She's pretending she's got it all together, but she's freaked as s.h.i.+t things got messed up last night and she's worried about you so I gotta get that off her mind before I get the rest of this show on the road."
She looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it before she smiled at him and started toward the door.
He followed her.
She opened it and he moved out, turning to say, "I'm seriously glad you opened the door, babe."
"I'll tell you later whether or not I am."