Chapter 90
A mood that might be conducive to a certain kind of discussion.
I should face the issue head on. Tell him what I saw in him. All that I saw. Then ask him to share with me the pain he was holding, pain no longer hidden.
But it would seem I had the courage to commit treason for my country. I also had the courage to face three witches who could have obliterated me with a blink. And I had the courage to leave my entire world to travel to one that was all new to me.
But I didn't have the courage to do one thing to force Noc to face whatever caused his pain by making him share that pain with me.
Blast.
"I'll call her in the morning," I told him.
"Good," he muttered.
"I love you," I blurted and his head gave a slight, surprised jerk before his eyes warmed and he bent his face closer to mine.
"I love you too, Frannie," he whispered.
I wanted to use that opening to go on and find the right words to erase whatever was causing him harm without making him face it. To share with him all he meant to me and make him know he could release it just like he'd given that same gift to me.
I had many talents in many areas.
This just wasn't one.
And I found it immensely frustrating.
Noc took us out of the moment by bending even deeper and kissing my nose.
He then turned back to the TV, lifting the remote to rewind the action to when he took his attention from it.
He was interested in this program.
Thus now was not the time.
But I had to find the time.
And I had to find a way.
I just didn't know how to do either.
The next afternoon, the phone to my ear, the fifth time I'd called, I finally connected.
"'Lo?" sounded in my ear slumberously.
"Well?" I demanded.
"Frannie?"
I was no longer annoyed that yet another person was addressing me thus, this time Circe.
I had other things on my mind.
"Yes, Frannie," I confirmed, even though I knew my name came up on her phone like all the names of the callers came up on mine and I didn't need to do so. "I've been trying to reach you all day," I snapped.
"Sorry. I've been busy," she told me.
"You don't sound busy. Are you napping at work?" I asked, not entirely incredulously. Circe seemed rather industrious. However, it could be that she was exhausted for a particular reason.
"Well, I'm not at work."
I looked to my watch, surprised at this for I'd learned working hours in that world were eight in the morning until five in the evening (normally) and these were Circe's hours. And right then, it was a quarter after three.
"Is something amiss at your employment?"
"No. It's just I didn't go into work today."
I had no reply.
Her voice dipped when she said, "Dax hasn't either."
Oh my.
"Right," I stated smartly. "Carry on," I bid and concluded with, "Goodbye."
And I hung up.
Then I started chuckling.
Still doing it, I reengaged my phone and called Noc.
"In other words, like I said," he began after I relayed this information to him, "she's not only fine, she's more than fine."
I could not argue that, didn't even want to, so I said nothing.
"We done gossiping about Circe?" he queried with humor in his voice.
"For now," I replied.
"Right," he said. "Later, babe. Love you."
"And I you."
We hung up.
I was, indeed, done gossiping about Circe.
To Noc.
But I moved from where I was to Valentine's kitchen to find Josette, who was practicing her this-world culinary skills.
Because I was not actually done gossiping about Circe.
News this good was news too good not to share.
Two days later, in the afternoon, I moved through a room in the home the agent was showing us, feeling it.
Feeling everything.
She'd found it.
It was perfect.
I had my phone to my ear and it was ringing.
"Sweetheart," Noc answered.
"I think we've found it," I whispered, having removed myself from Josette, the agent, and Valentine, who had driven us to the showing.
"It's good?" he asked.
"It's perfect, darling. The courtyard. The ceiling roses. A magic room for me. And many bedrooms."
He was silent a second before he asked, "How you feelin' like fillin' those up?"
My voice dropped lower. "You know how."
"Tell the agent I wanna see it. I got s.h.i.+t on with the job on Sat.u.r.day so it'll have to be Sunday."
"I'll do that."
"Josette like it?" he queried.
"Yes," I told him.
"Valentine with you?"
"Yes."
"What's she say?"
"She said, 'it'll do.'"
There was amus.e.m.e.nt in his voice when he replied, "So she likes it."
"That's my read."
"Right. Good. I'll look at it Sunday and we'll discuss your offer."
"Excellent, darling. Now I'll let you get back to work."
"Okay, sweetheart. Valentine dropping you at my place?"
"No, her caretaker is giving Josette and me driving lessons after this. Then he's dropping me at your place. Josette is making dinner for Glover at Valentine's. Trying her hand at her skills in the kitchen. Valentine is absenting herself. She hasn't shared where she's going."
"Not a surprise," he muttered. "I'll see you when I get home then, yeah?"
"Yes, Noc."
"Later, babe. Love you."
"And I you, my darling."
He rang off and I took the phone from my ear and turned my attention again to the room in which I stood.
Yes.
Perfection.
The room was. The house was.
I was not.
Noc had started his cases and this meant he woke us earlier. It also meant he came home later. And he even took phone calls and worked on his laptop after getting home.
He made it clear he did not mind this. He was enjoying his work, he made that clear too. It was not exhausting, it was invigorating.
I liked that for him. I drank my wine and watched the television or read a book I'd found at his house that was quite interesting and let him do what he enjoyed. And when it was time for me, I let him enjoy me.
Therefore, obviously, with his new job and the satisfaction he got from it, now was not the time to bring up whatever was festering inside him, shadowing his soul.
It was an excellent excuse.
But it was still an excuse.
I knew it.
I just didn't know how to get past it.
That Sunday, Noc stood in a bedroom upstairs in the home I was considering purchasing.
The room in which I'd made my decision just days before and given him a call.
It was right now where a little girl slept. Pink walls. An elephant motif. Not frilly but still girly. Absolutely adorable.