Chapter 82
I felt his fingers weaving through mine at the counter as I felt his lips brush my neck.
Then I watched him lift his head and press his jaw against the side of mine, his glorious eyes moving over us in the mirror, the expression in them not hiding he felt as me with what could be seen.
Finally, those stunning blue eyes caught mine.
Noc said nothing.
I said nothing.
We just held each other's gazes in the mirror before he slid his hand out of my dress and lifted it to my jaw.
He needed no words to share what he wanted.
Therefore I gave it to him, turning my head and offering him my mouth.
He took it.
We kissed languidly but greedily, like kings and queens a.s.sured of their power, their treasure their reign, nevertheless indulging sumptuously in the lap of luxury that was theirs by right of birth and the grace of the G.o.ds.
When Noc finally broke the kiss, he whispered, "Ready for bed, baby?"
I nodded.
Only then did he break the connection of our bodies, but soon enough he sought it again, tangling himself in me in the warmth of his bed.
And there we slept.
Chapter Twenty-One.
Just a Guy Noc Noc knocked on the door and stepped back just in case it went up in flames, or maybe shot magical laser beams at him.
He was there because he and Franka had had a meeting with Valentine that morning, he'd been briefed about all things Dax Lahn, and Noc had volunteered to go smooth things over with Circe.
He wasn't looking forward to the task, but he was the man for the job mostly because, if she'd slept on it and was still p.i.s.sed at Frannie, after all she'd said the night before, no way in h.e.l.l he was setting up his woman to face whatever Circe felt like dis.h.i.+ng out.
Valentine had a.s.sured them she was seeing to Dax. She didn't share how she was doing this. Noc also didn't ask because he really didn't want to know.
As he waited outside Circe's place, the door didn't explode.
It also didn't open.
He got close again, knocked again and stayed where he was, saying through it, "I know you know it's me. What you also gotta know is, until I see you're all right, I'm not leaving."
She made him wait but she finally opened the door.
Cutoff jean shorts, a little tee, bare feet, hair wild, face makeup free, f.u.c.k, Dax was going to like every version of Circe.
"I'm all right," she snapped and started to close the door again.
Noc lifted a hand to hold it open.
She didn't push it. Instead the battle she waged was with her gaze, trying to stare him down.
He didn't just take it.
He pushed back, but only verbally.
"She meant no harm. She wants good things for you. She's lived the life she felt she had to live to keep herself safe. That's not her life anymore but she's used to doing things a certain way. But now she's doin' those things for good. She just doesn't have it down how to go about doin' that yet. She's not the woman you said she was last night, Circe. Valentine told me she's kept you in the loop about what's been going down with Frannie, so I figure you know it. But even with all that, she shouldn't have played it that way. She f.u.c.ked up. She knows that now. And she's gutted, babe. Kicking her own a.s.s and worried as s.h.i.+t about you."
Circe could only hold the att.i.tude for a few seconds before she looked away and stepped away, opening the door further, inviting him in.
He went in and saw that, with the little she had, she had good taste. But even with the treasure she'd been given, she wasn't about pimping out her s.p.a.ce.
Noc moved to the middle of the small living room and stopped, turning to her.
Circe followed him and leaned the side of her thigh against the arm of her couch where a cat instantly appeared, rubbing its side against her skin.
She did not ask Noc to sit. She did not offer him coffee.
She just dropped a hand to scratch the ruff of her pet and held Noc's gaze.
He laid it out.
"I should have stopped her. I knew it wasn't the right play. I told her that, she was determined. I still should have stopped her."
"What's done is done," she stated shortly.
"It is but you gotta know, I felt how it made you feel last night and I'm sorry about the part I played in it."
Circe, unsurprisingly not a woman who would carry a grudge in the face of an open apology, visibly lost some of the att.i.tude
Right, they were beyond that, now it was time to lay more s.h.i.+t out.
"We need to talk about Dax."
She straightened from the couch, going instantly wired.
"There's nothing to say."
He took only one step toward her before he stopped and pointed out, "I don't get, at the same time I do, why you'd be in denial about what went down last night. But I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't try to pull you out of that."
"You and Franka are proof that there are differences between our two worlds and they still carry on. This being so, I understand why Valentine and Franka would think this needs to happen between me and that man. But it's also obvious that it actually doesn't."
"True enough," Noc replied. "But that doesn't explain your reaction to him last night, or his to you."
She looked away.
He kept at her.
"Circe, babe, please don't shut me out. I'm here to talk to you but I'm also here for you to talk to me. Share with me. Give me whatever s.h.i.+t is holding you back from something I know rocked you in bad ways last night. The thing is, it also rocked you in good ways. Really good. I can't know, but my guess is that the good parts are what are holding you back. And knowing all that's in play here, I would be no friend at all if I didn't try to help you see that good as just what it is."
When she again gave him her attention, her face was a mask and her eyes were angry.
Even so, she couldn't hide they were also haunted.
f.u.c.k.
"There is no way you can understand where I am with this."
"No," he whispered. "No," he repeated, letting all he was feeling out with that one syllable and seeing the anger dissolve, but also seeing the wounds surfacing. He f.u.c.king hated what he saw but he didn't give up. "I can't know. But I know what's there. I know why you're there. And it kills me there's not a f.u.c.kin' thing I can do about it."
"No one can do anything about it, Noc," she said quietly.
"This guy can."
She blinked up at him.
"I was not that guy," Noc went on. "We both knew it. I could not be that guy for you. I knew and you knew. We both understood I was not strong enough to handle all that happened to you. Not for the long run. So what we had was what it was because we both knew I couldn't be the guy for you to give you what you needed."
Now she was staring at him with big eyes that showed she was confused and he didn't get that.
But he didn't ask after it.
He stayed on target.
"But this guy, Circe," he kept at her, "this guy is not any guy. He's an attorney. He's a good one. Not a fighter. A warrior. He's wealthy and he earned that, he didn't get born to it. And he does pro bono for a domestic violence shelter for no reason than that's his mission. And he buys a ten thousand dollar table at their gala event, leaning on all his attorney buddies to do the same. That was how we got him there last night. He probably could be doing a hundred things on a Friday night. He was not doing those things. He was there facilitating a donation from Franka."
She seemed surprised at this information but said, "Noc, his commitment to that says nice things about him but it has nothing to do with me. Now what I'd like to talk about is how you feel about-"
He interrupted her.
"What I'm saying is, we're not talking sympathy. We're not talking empathy. We're talking about a man who respects women, knows how they should be treated and does something about it when that s.h.i.+t doesn't happen," Noc informed her.
She shut her mouth.
Noc kept going.
"No one can look at that man and not think he has his head up his a.s.s about his looks, his money, his talents. He's confident, but that's not what he's about. What he's about is that he's all that and he's still the man he is for women."
"Again, this is all very nice to know about him but, Noc, it has nothing to do with me."
"Not sure how you see it that way when the minute he saw you, the world faded away."
That was a blow she didn't expect. So much of one, she took a step back.
"And Circe," he pushed, "when you saw him, your world did too."
"I was simply surprised to see Lahn there," she bald-faced lied.
He gentled his tone when he shared, "This wasn't about Lahn. You knew that man was not Lahn. This was about Dax. All about Dax."
"Noc-"
"I did not like this idea," he stated. "When Franka shared what she and Valentine were up to, I didn't like it at all. And she never talked me around to liking it. I was there last night to look after her, because I didn't know this guy, and to look after you, because she was determined to throw you in his path. Then I saw him with you, Circe, and no way in f.u.c.k I'd let anyone get near you I didn't trust. But I saw him with you and here I am."
"Noc-"
"I want you to be happy. Franka does. Valentine does. h.e.l.l, everyone does. The only one standing in the way of that is you."
"I like my life," she a.s.serted.
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, of course."
It was the truth.
And it totally wasn't.
"Are you really happy, babe?" he pressed.
"I'm far more content than I've ever been," she replied. "I'm my own woman. I say where I go and what I do and who I'm with. I have friends. I love this city. I have my power back and it's all mine."
"Content isn't happy," he noted.
"It's better than anything I've ever had."
"Okay, I hear that," Noc conceded but didn't let up. "And it sucks that's true. But it's a far cry from what you deserve."
"Noc, there's a good deal to say about being content in your life."
"I've got Frannie. I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me. She's here and it's not good, it's great. I've got a house I dig and serious money in the bank so I not only don't have to worry about just covering emergencies, I'm set for life. And last, I've got a job that pays me more than I ever thought I'd make. So I'm in a position to say that contentment works, but happy in a good place, a fantastic city, with good friends, a good job and a woman I love to share my life with is a f.u.c.kuva lot better."
"I see you won't understand what I'm trying to say," she remarked, beginning to look agitated.
"I think it's the other way around," he returned.
"Can't you just let it go?" she requested.
"After what I saw last night, what I can say is, I want to do that for you, because you want that from me. And I totally cannot do that, also for you."