Chapter 10
w.a.n.g Kao squinted across the snow. "It is just one man," he said. "I see no weapons upon him."
"He rides a donkey, and leads another," replied his neighbor.
There was something strange here. Who had been able to manage a beast since the great change? w.a.n.g Kao felt a p.r.i.c.kling along his neck.
It was an elderly man who neared them. He smiled kindly, and one by one the leveled guns sank. But it was odd how thinly he was clad, as if this were summer. He rode up to the line of men and greeted them in a friendly way. No one asked his errand, but the eyes that watched him were question enough.
"My name is Wu Hsi," he said, "and I have a message for you which may be of value."
"Come in, sir," invited w.a.n.g Kao, "and accept our poor hospitality. It must be bitterly cold for you."
"Why, no," said the stranger. "That is part of my message. Men need not freeze if they have no thick garments. It is all in knowing how not to freeze."
He crossed one leg over the donkey's shoulders and leaned forward. A small chill breeze ruffled his wispy gray beard. "I am one of many," he went on. "My master taught us, and now we go forth to teach others, and it is our hope that some of those we teach will themselves become prophets."
"Well, and what is it you teach, sir?" asked w.a.n.g Kao.
"It is only the proper use of the mind," replied Wu Hsi. "My master was a scholar in Fenchow, and when the great change came he saw that it was a change in men's way of thinking and set himself to search out the best ways of using his new powers. It is but a humble beginning which we have here, and yet we feel that it may be of service to the world."
"All of us can think more freely and strongly now, sir," said w.a.n.g Kao.
"Yes, I am clearly among worthy men, and yet it may be my poor words will have some newness. Think, people, how often the mind, the will, has mastered the body's weaknesses. Think how men have kept alive during sickness and famine and weariness, when no beast could do aught but die. Then think how much greater such powers must be now, if only a man can use them."
"Yes." w.a.n.g Kao bowed. "I see how you have triumphed over the chill of winter."
"There is not enough cold today to harm a man, if he but know how to keep his blood moving warmly.
That is a little thing." Wu Hsi shrugged. "A heightened mind can do much with the body; I can, for instance, show you how to tell a wound to stop hurting and bleeding. But the ways of communicating with the beasts, and befriending them; the ways of remembering every tiniest thing one has ever seen or heard;the ways of having no feelings, no wishes, save those the mind says are good; the ways of talking soul to soul with another man, without ever opening the lips; the ways of thinking out how the real world must be, without blundering into vain fancies-these, I humbly feel, may be of more use to you in the long run."
"Indeed, honored sir, they would, and we are not worthy," declared w.a.n.g Kao in awe. "Will you not come in now and dine with us?"
It was a great day for the village, in spite of the news having come so quietly. w.a.n.g Kao thought that soon it would be a great day for the whole world. He wondered what the world would look like, ten years hence, and even his patient soul could hardly wait to see.
Outside the viewports, the sky was ice and darkness, a million frosty suns strewn across an elemental night. The Milky Way flowed as a river of radiance, Orion stood gigantic against infinity, and it was all cold and silence.
s.p.a.ce lay around the s.h.i.+p like an ocean. Earth's sun was dwindling as she ran outward toward endlessness, now there were only night and quiet and the t.i.tanic s.h.i.+ning beauty of heaven. Looking at those stars, each a giant ablaze, and sensing their terrible isolation, Peter Corinth felt the soul within him quail. This was s.p.a.ce, reaching out past imagination, worlds beyond worlds and each, in all its splendor, nothing against the mystery that held it.
"Maybe you need to find G.o.d."
Well-perhaps he had. He had at least found something more than himself.
Sighing, Corinth turned back to the metallic warmth of the cabin, grateful for finitude. Lewis sat watching the dials and chewing a dead cigar. There was nothing of awe in his round ruddy face, and he hummed a song to himself, but Corinth knew that the huge cold had reached in and touched him.
The biologist nodded ever so slightly. (Works like a charm. The psi-drive, the viewscreens, the gravity, ventilation, servomechanisms-a lovely boat we've gotl) Corinth found a chair and sat down, folding his lanky frame together and clasping his hands over one knee. Starward bound-it was a triumph, perhaps the greatest achievement of history. For it guaranteed that there would always be a history, an outwardness in man so that he could not stagnate forever on his one little planet. Only somehow he, as an individual, did not feel the exultation of conquest. This was too big for trumpets.
Oh, he had always known intellectually that the cosmos was vast beyond comprehension, but it had been a dead knowledge in him, colorless, ten to the umpteenth power quant.i.ties and nothing more. Now it was part of his self. He had lived it, and could never again be quite the same man.
Driven by a force more powerful than rockets, freed from Einsteinian speed limits, the s.h.i.+p reacted against the entire ma.s.s of the universe, and when traveling faster than light did not have a velocity in the strict sense at all. Her most probable position s.h.i.+fted in an enigmatic way which had required a whole new branch of mathematics to describe. She generated her own internal pseudogravity field, her fuel was ma.s.s itself-any ma.s.s, broken down into energy, nine times ten to the twentieth ergs per gram. Her viewscreens, compensating for Doppler effect and aberration, showed the naked blaze of s.p.a.ce to eyes that would never look on it unaided. She carried and sheltered and fed her cargo of frail organic tissue, and they who rode like G.o.ds knew their own mortality with a stark and somehow heart-lifting clarity.
For all that, she had an unfinished look. In the haste to complete a thousand years of work in a few months, the builders had left out much they might have installed, computers and robots which could havemade the s.h.i.+p altogether automatic. The men aboard could calculate with their changed minds as well and as swiftly as any machine yet built, solving partial differential equations of high order just to get the proper setting for a control.
There had been an almost desperate speed in the project, a vague realization that the new humanity had to find a frontier. The next s.h.i.+p would be different, much of the difference founded on data which the first one would bring back.
"Cosmic ray count holding pretty steady," said Lewis. The s.h.i.+p bristled with instruments mounted outside the hull and its protective warping fields. (I guess that kills off the solar-origin theory for good.) Corinth nodded. The universe-at least out to the distance they had penetrated-seemed to hold a sleet of charged particles, storming through s.p.a.ce from unknown origins to equally unknown destinations. Or did they have any definite points of departure? Maybe they were an integral part of the cosmos, like the stars and nebulae. The professional side of him wanted immensely to know.
"I think," he said, "that even the short trips we can make in this little segment of the galaxy are going to upset most of the past astrophysical theories." (We'll have to build a whole new cosmology.) "And biology too, I'll bet," grunted Lewis. (I've been speculating on and off since the change, and now I'm inclined to think that life forms not based on carbon are possible.) "Well, we'll see."
We'll see-what a magical phrase!
Even the Solar System would need decades of exploration. The Sheila- man was beyond the animism of christening his works, but Corinth remained sentimental enough to think of the s.h.i.+p by his wife's name-had already visited the moon on a flight test; her real voyage had begun with a swing past Venus, ducking down to look at the windy, sandy h.e.l.l of the poisonous surface,
There had not been many to see them off. The Mandelbaums had been there, of course, hunched into clothes gone old and shabby; Rossman's tall gaunt form was stiff on one side of them; a few friends, some professional acquaintances from the laboratories and workshops, that was all.
Helga had come, wearing an expensive fur coat, melted snow glistening like small diamonds in the tightly drawn blonde hair. Her jewel-hard coolness said much to Corinth, he wondered how long she would wait after the s.h.i.+p was gone to weep, but he had shaken hands with her and found no words. Thereafter she had talked with Lewis, and Corinth had led Sheila around behind the s.h.i.+p.
She looked small and fragile in her winter coat. Flesh had melted from her, the fine bones stood out under the skin and her eyes were enormous. She had become so quiet lately, she sat and looked past him and now and then she trembled a little. The hands that lay in his were terribly thin."I shouldn't be leaving you, honey," he said, using all the words in the old manner and making his voice a caress.
"It won't be for long," she answered tonelessly. She wore no make-up, and her lips were paler than they should be. "I think I'm getting better."
He nodded. The psychiatrist, Kearnes, was a good man, a plump fatherly sort with a brain like a razor.
He admitted that his therapy was experimental, a groping into the unknown darknesses of the new human mind, but he had been getting results with some patients. Rejecting the barbarity of brain mutilation by surgery or shock, he felt that a period of isolation from familiarity gave the victim a chance to perform, under guidance, the re-evaluation that was necessary...
("The change has been an unprecedented psychic shock to every organism possessed of a nervous system," Dr. Kearnes had said. "The fortunate ones -the strong-willed, the resolute, those whose interests have been by choice or necessity directed outward rather than introspectively, those to whom hard thinking has always been a natural and pleasurable process-they seem to have made the adjustment without too much damage; though I suppose we will all carry the scars of that shock to our graves. But those less fortunate have been thrown into a neurosis which has in many cases become deep psychosis. Your wife, Dr. Corinth-let me be blunt-is dangerously close to insanity. Her past life, essentially unintellectual and sheltered, has given her no preparation for a sudden radical change in her own being; and the fact that she has no children to worry about, and no problem of bare survival to occupy her, enabled the whole force of realization to turn on her own character. The old adjustments, compensations, protective forgetfulness and self-deception, which we all had, are no longer of use, and she hasn't been able to find new ones. Worry about the symptoms naturally increased them, a vicious circle. But I think I can help her; in time, when the whole business is better understood, it should be possible to effect a complete cure... How long? How should I know? But hardly more than a few years, at the rate science can expand now; and meanwhile Mrs. Corinth should be able to compensate enough for happiness and balance.") "Well---."
Sudden terror in her eyes: "Oh, Pete, darling, darling, be careful out there! Come back to me!"
"I will," he said, and bit his lip.
("Yes, it would be an excellent thing for her-I think-if you went on that expedition, Dr. Corinth.
Worry about you is a healthier thing than brooding over the shadows her own runaway mind creates for her. It will help wrench her psychic orientation outward where it belongs. She's not a natural introvert...") A flurry of snow wrapped them for a moment, hiding them from the world. He kissed her, and knew that in all the years before him he would remember how cool her lips were and how they trembled under his.
There was a deep hollow ringing in the ground, as if the planet itself shuddered with cold. Overhead flared the transatlantic rocket, bound for Europe on some mission of the new-born world order.
Corinth's eyes were on Sheila. He brushed the snow from her hair, feeling the softness of it and the childish inward curve of her nape under his fingers. A small sad laughter was in him.
With five words, and eyes and hands and lips, he said to her: "When I come home again-and what a homecoming that will be, honey!-I expect to find you well and inventing a robot housemaid so you'll be free for me. I don't want anything in all the universe to bother us then."
And what he meant was: O most beloved, be there for me as You have always been, You who areall my world. Let there be no more darkness between us, child of light, let us be together as once we were, or else all time is empty forever.
"I'll try, Pete," she whispered. Her hand reached up to touch his face. "Pete," she said wonderingly.
Lewis' voice sounded harsh around the flank of the s.h.i.+p, distorted by the wind: "All aboard that's going aboard!"
Corinth and Sheila took their time, and the others respected that need. When the physicist stood in the air lock waving good-by, he was well above ground, and Sheila's form was a very small shape against the muddy snow.
Sol was little more than the brightest star in their wake, almost lost in the thronging mult.i.tude of suns, out here as far as the orbit of Saturn. The constellations had not changed, for all the leagues that had fled behind them. The huge circle of the Milky Way and the far mysterious coils of the other galaxies glimmered as remotely as they had done for the first half-man who lifted his eyes skyward and wondered.
There was no time, no distance, only a vastness transcending miles and years.
The Sheila probed cautiously ahead at well under light velocity. On the fringes of the inhibitor field Lewis and Corinth were preparing the telemetered missiles which would be shot into the region of denser flux.
Lewis chuckled with amiable diablerie at the caged rats he meant to send on one of the torpedoes. Their beady eyes watched him steadily, as if they knew. "Poor little b.u.ms," he said. "Sometimes I feel like a louse." He added with a grin, "The rest of the time I do too, but it's fun."
Corinth didn't answer. He was looking out at the stars.
"The trouble with you," said Lewis, settling his bulk into the adjoining chair, "is that you take life too seriously. You've always done so, and haven't broken the habit since the change. Now me-I am, of course, perfect by definition!-I always found things to swear about and cry over, but there was just as much which was outrageously funny. If there is a G.o.d of any kind- and since the change I'm beginning to think there may be, perhaps I've become more imaginative-then Chesterton was right in including a sense of humor among His attributes." He clicked his tongue. "Poor old G.K.C.!
It's too bad he didn't live to see the change. What paradoxes he would have dreamed up!"
The alarm bell broke off his monologue. Both men started, looking at the indicator light which blinked like a red eye, on and off, on and off. Simultaneously, a wave of dizziness swept through them. Corinth grabbed for the arms of his chair, retching.
"The field-we're approaching the zone---" Lewis punched a key on the elaborate control panel.
His voice was thick. "Got to get outta here---"
Full reverse! But it wasn't that simple, not when you dealt with the potential field which modern science identified with ultimate reality. Corinth shook his head, fighting the nausea, and leaned over to help. This switch -no, the other one--- He looked helplessly at the board. A needle crept over a red mark, they had pa.s.sed light speed and were still accelerating, the last thing he had wished. What to do?
Lewis shook his head. Sweat gleamed on the broad face. "Sidewide vector," he gasped. "Go out tangentially---"
There were no constants for the psi-drive. Everything was a variable, a function of many componentsdepending on the potential gradients and on each other. The setting for "ahead" could become that for "reverse" under new conditions, and there was the uncertainty principle to reckon with, the uncaused chaos of individual electrons, flattened probability curves, the unimaginable complexity which had generated stars and planets and thinking humans. A train of equations gibbered through Corinth's brain.
The vertigo pa.s.sed, and he looked at Lewis with a growing horror. "We were wrong," he mumbled.
"The field builds up quicker than we thought."
"But-it took days for Earth to get out of it altogether, man, at a relative speed of---"
"We must have hit a different part of the cone, then, a more sharply defined one; or maybe the sharpness varies with time in some unsuspected manner---" Corinth grew aware that Lewis was staring at him, open-mouthed.
"Huh?" said the other man-how slowly!
"I said-what did I say?" Corinth's heart began thundering in his panic. He had spoken three or four words, made a few signs, but Lewis hadn't understood him.
Of course he hadn'tl They weren't as bright as they had been, neither of them.
Corinth swallowed a tongue that seemed like a piece of wood. Slowly, in plain English, he repeated his meaning.
"Oh, yes, yes." Lewis nodded, too frozen to say more.
Corinth's brain felt gluey. There was no other word. He was spiraling down into darkness, he couldn't think, with every fleeting second he tumbled back toward animal man.
The knowledge was like a blow. They had plunged unawares into the field Earth had left, it was slowing them down, they were returning to what they had been before the change. Deeper and deeper the s.h.i.+p raced, into an ever stronger flux, and they no longer had the intelligence to control her.
The next s.h.i.+p will be built to guard against this, he thought in the chaos. They'll guess what's happened-but what good will that do us?
He looked out again; the stars wavered in his vision. The field, he thought wildly, we don't know its shape or extent. I think we're going out tangentially, we may come out of the cone soon-or we may be trapped in here for the next hundred years.
Sheilal He bowed his head, too miserable with the physical torment of sudden cellular readjustment to think any more, and wept.
The s.h.i.+p went on into darkness.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
THE HOUSE STOOD ON LONG ISLAND, above a wide strand sloping to the sea. It had once belonged to an estate, and there were trees and a high wall to screen it off from the world.
Roger Kearnes brought his car to a halt under the portico and stepped out. He s.h.i.+vered a little and jammed his hands into his pockets as the raw wet cold fell over him. There was no wind, no shadow, only the late fall of snow, thick sad snow that tumbled quietly from a low sky and clung to thewindowpanes and melted on the ground like tears. He wondered despairingly if there would ever again be a springtime.
Well- He braced himself and rang the doorbell. There was work to do. He had to check up on his patient.
Sheila Corinth opened the door for him. She was still thin, her eyes dark and huge in the pale childlike face; but she wasn't trembling any more, and she had taken the trouble to comb her hair and put on a dress.
"h.e.l.lo, there," he said, smiling. "How are you today?"
"Oh-all right." She didn't meet his eyes. "Won't you come in?"
She led the way down a corridor whose recent repainting had not quite succeeded in creating the cheerful atmosphere Kearnes wanted. But you couldn't have everything. Sheila could consider herself lucky to have an entire house and a pleasant elderly woman-a moron-for help and companions.h.i.+p.
Even nowadays, it meant a lot if your husband was an important man.
They entered the living room. A fire crackled on the hearth, and there was a view of beach and restless ocean. "Sit down," invited Sheila listlessly. She threw herself into an armchair and sat unmoving, her eyes fixed on the window.
Kearnes' gaze followed hers. How heavily the sea rolled! Even indoors, he could hear it grinding against the sh.o.r.e, tumbling rocks, grinding away the world like the teeth of time. It was gray and white to the edge of the world, white-maned horses stamping and galloping, how terribly loud they neighed!
Pulling his mind loose, he opened his briefcase. "I have some more books for you," he said.
"Psychological texts. You said you were interested."
"I am. Thank you." There was no tone in her voice.
"Hopelessly outdated now, of course," he went on. "But they may give you an insight into the basic principles. You have to see for yourself what your trouble is."
"I think I do," she said. "I can think more clearly now. I can see how cold the universe is and how little we are---" She looked at him with fright on her lips. "I wish I didn't think so well!"
"Once you've mastered your thoughts, you'll be glad of this power," he said gently.
"I wish they would bring back the old world," she said.
"It was a cruel world," he answered. "We're well off without it."
She nodded. He could barely hear her whisper: "O soldier, lying hollow on the rime, there is frost in your hair and darkness behind your eyes. Let there be darkness." Before he had time for a worried frown, she continued aloud, "But we loved and hoped then. There were the little cafes, do you remember, and people laughing in twilight, there were music and dancing, beer and cheese sandwiches at midnight, sailboats, leftover pies, worrying about income taxes, our own jokes, there were the two of us. Where is Pete now?"