Chapter 91
Oh, happy the flowers That blossom in June, And happy the bowers That gain by the boon, But happier by hours The man of descent, Who, folly regretting, Is bent on forgetting His bad baronetting, And means to repent!
TRIO--HANNAH, ADAM, and ZORAH.
Oh, happy the blossom That blooms on the lea, Likewise the opossum That sits on a tree, But when you come across 'em, They cannot compare With those who are treading The dance at a wedding, While people are spreading The best of good fare!
SOLO--ROBIN.
Oh, wretched the debtor Who's signing a deed!
And wretched the letter That no one can read!
But very much better Their lot it must be Than that of the person I'm making this verse on, Whose head there's a curse on-- Alluding to me!
Repeat ensemble with Chorus.
(Dance)
(At the end of the dance Robin falls senseless on the stage.
Picture.)
END OF ACT I
ACT II
Scene.--Picture Gallery in Ruddigore Castle. The walls are covered with full-length portraits of the Baronets of Ruddigore from the time of James I.--the first being that of Sir Rupert, alluded to in the legend; the last, that of the last deceased Baronet, Sir Roderic.
Enter Robin and Adam melodramatically. They are greatly altered in appearance, Robin wearing the haggard aspect of a guilty roue; Adam, that of the wicked steward to such a man.
DUET--ROBIN and ADAM.
ROB. I once was as meek as a new-born lamb, I'm now Sir Murgatroyd--ha! ha!
With greater precision (Without the elision), Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd--ha! ha!
ADAM. And I, who was once his valley-de-sham, As steward I'm now employed--ha! ha!
The d.i.c.kens may take him-- I'll never forsake him!
As steward I'm now employed--ha! ha!
ADDITIONAL SONG (Omitted after opening night.)
ROB. My face is the index to my mind, All venom and spleen and gall--ha! ha!
Or, properly speaking, It soon will be reeking, With venom and spleen and gall--ha! ha!
ADAM. My name from Adam Goodheart you'll find I've changed to Gideon Crawle--ha! ha!
For bad Bart's steward Whose heart is much too hard Is always Gideon Crawle--ha! ha!
BOTH. How dreadful when an innocent heart Becomes, perforce, a bad young Bart., And still more hard on old Adam, His former faithful valley-de-sham!
ROB. This is a painful state of things, old Adam!
ADAM. Painful, indeed! Ah, my poor master, when I swore that, come what would, I would serve you in all things for ever, I little thought to what a pa.s.s it would bring me! The confidential adviser to the greatest villain unhung! Now, sir, to business. What crime do
ROB. How should I know? As my confidential adviser, it's your duty to suggest something.
ADAM. Sir, I loathe the life you are leading, but a good old man's oath is paramount, and I obey. Richard Dauntless is here with pretty Rose Maybud, to ask your consent to their marriage. Poison their beer.
ROB. No--not that--I know I'm a bad Bart., but I'm not as bad a Bart. as all that.
ADAM. Well, there you are, you see! It's no use my making suggestions if you don't adopt them.
ROB. (melodramatically). How would it be, do you think, were I to lure him here with cunning wile--bind him with good stout rope to yonder post--and then, by making hideous faces at him, curdle the heart-blood in his arteries, and freeze the very marrow in his bones? How say you, Adam, is not the scheme well planned?
ADAM. It would be simply rude--nothing more. But soft--they come!
(Adam and Robin retire up as Richard and Rose enter, preceded by Chorus of Bridesmaids.)
DUET--RICHARD and ROSE.
RICH. Happily coupled are we, You see-- I am a jolly Jack Tar, My star, And you are the fairest, The richest and rarest Of innocent la.s.ses you are, By far-- Of innocent la.s.ses you are!
Fanned by a favouring gale, You'll sail Over life's treacherous sea With me, And as for bad weather, We'll brave it together, And you shall creep under my lee, My wee!
And you shall creep under my lee!
For you are such a smart little craft-- Such a neat little, sweet little craft, Such a bright little, tight little, Slight little, light little, Trim little, prim little craft!
CHORUS. For she is such, etc.
ROSE. My hopes will be blighted, I fear, My dear; In a month you'll be going to sea, Quite free, And all of my wishes You'll throw to the fishes As though they were never to be; Poor me!
As though they were never to be.
And I shall be left all alone To moan, And weep at your cruel deceit, Complete; While you'll be a.s.serting Your freedom by flirting With every woman you meet, You cheat--Ah!
With every woman you meet! Ah!
Though I am such a smart little craft-- Such a neat little, sweet little craft, Such a bright little, tight little, Slight little, light little, Trim little, prim little craft!
CHORUS. Though she is such, etc.
(Enter Robin.)
ROB. Soho! pretty one--in my power at last, eh? Know ye not that I have those within my call who, at my lightest bidding, would immure ye in an uncomfortable dungeon? (Calling.) What ho! within there!
RICH. Hold--we are prepared for this (producing a Union Jack). Here is a flag that none dare defy (all kneel), and while this glorious rag floats over Rose Maybud's head, the man does not live who would dare to lay unlicensed hand upon her!
ROB. Foiled--and by a Union Jack! But a time will come, and then--- ROSE. Nay, let me plead with him. (To Robin.) Sir Ruthven, have pity. In my book of etiquette the case of a maiden about to be wedded to one who unexpectedly turns out to be a baronet with a curse on him is not considered. Time was when you loved me madly. Prove that this was no selfish love by according your consent to my marriage with one who, if he be not you yourself, is the next best thing--your dearest friend!
BALLAD--ROSE.
In bygone days I had thy love-- Thou hadst my heart.
But Fate, all human vows above, Our lives did part!
By the old love thou hadst for me-- By the fond heart that beat for thee-- By joys that never now can be, Grant thou my prayer!
ALL (kneeling). Grant thou her prayer!
ROB. (recitative). Take her--I yield!
ALL. (recitative). Oh, rapture! (All rising.)
CHORUS. Away to the parson we go-- Say we're solicitous very That he will turn two into one-- Singing hey, derry down derry!