Chapter 9
Recap of events that might have happened but I didn't write about because I love being vague. Kakes.h.i.+ asked Takeo and Keima to help him plan a perfect date for him with the girl he liked.
In unison, they both stated their shock at hearing this. While Takeo was still trying to process the situation. Keima was checking the internet on his phone on whether there was a asteroid headed for earth. It even made a pa.s.sing Nouta with a smoothie in hand to say, "Man, maybe good looking guys in actuality are really dumb."
And my answer was, "d.a.m.n, your more intelligent than I thought."
But enough said, let's go to the plot. Takeo-kun take the wheel.
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It is said that Adonis, arguably the most handsome greek and famous in the world of ancient greek mythology. The only female abbreviation of Adonis of that would be a G.o.ddess. Not a mortal being. A person that was envied and loved by G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses alike. He fell in love with a average girl. Totally not what I do. But what you do when your the guy that Aphrodite is obsessed about. The f.u.c.king Greek G.o.ddess of love. Who murdered a few hundred girl who fell in love with and what you do to mourn their deaths which occurred because of you. Well, you fall in love with a normal and average village girl, of course!
But Adonis didn't know how to express his love to the girl. So he went deep into the forest to find a great wise man who was deeply devoted to his cultivation of knowledge.
Adonis after many days of searching and travelling far and wide. Even though a forest isn't supposed to span a continent. Finally found him in the most awkward & gross manner. In simpler terms, Adonis stumbled upon the great scholar while he was taking a s.h.i.+t or p.o.o.ping, for those who want traumatization.
Adonis told his problem to the great scholar and sought his advice.
The scholar took a few minutes examining his face and took a deep sigh. Then the scholar opened his mouth and pa.s.sed on divine knowledge to Adonis.
"n.i.g.g.e.r, Have you seen your face in the mirror recently? It's so f.u.c.king perfect that you don't need a plan. With that face, you'll make a girl bleed out to death from a nose bleed. For Zeus sake, Just go to the girl and the girl will fall in love with you on the spot and give her life for you."
And my brother is the modern persona of Adonis. Though his not Greek or is he? Though he is handsome. If he had singing talent. He would be in a pop band by now. But Author-sama didn't think that he was that talented to sing.
Keima, Nouta and myself stood behind a wall as we all in unison lean to look at the table where Kakes.h.i.+ and that girl were sitting. It's "were" both of them were currently on the ground. Kakes.h.i.+ was holding the girl in his lap while the girl was gus.h.i.+ng out blood from her nose. By the looks, the gus.h.i.+ng blood resulted in a pond of blood forming around them in a supernatural manner. Because neither of them were getting blood stains on their clothes. Kakes.h.i.+ wore a red t-s.h.i.+rt with a black jacket on. And some golfer pants. While, the girl was wearing what would you say? A kind of american 50s dresses that housewives wore. It was Prussian Blue in colour. She was a blonde haired girl with a sizable bust. But nothing special. The hair style was the famous long silky hair type. I seen too many hentai's to know what those are useful for.
In the leaning order, uptop was Nouta. In between was Keima and in the lower was I, the great narrator himself.
Keima said to me just then with a worried face and sweat dripping down his chin,
"Are you sure she's okay? Because that's a lot of blood"
To that I replied,
"Don't worry about it. A average anime or manga character has couple hundred pints of blood."
Satisfied with that answer, he confusingly said,
".....Okay...."
So what now? Who f.u.c.king knows! Author-san, some exposition please!
"...."(Author-san)
s.h.i.+t. His too busy with his other projects his supposedly writing. Let me just give a awareness of ny surroundings instead. Where we stood was about a couple or 20 meters from the outcourt of the cafe that Kakes.h.i.+ was at.
If I were to describe the feel of the area, the cafe was situated then it would be Parisian stone walking grounds and European layout to compliment the Asian cultural
It's kinda serene here. But asking a main character's opinion, you probably know the answer already.
After a few, three of us, pals started to check out the surroundings. The streets were filled with people and foreigners. There were bakeries, cafes and various stores filled with luxurious commodities in every corner.
It was wonderland to them. But to me, their presence looked a foam like substance trying to crush me. So many people in a small area, that's my biggest fear.
But that sub seeded away as I was roaming with Nouta and Keima. They made me forget my fears and I generally felt better with them having fun with me than the time when I'm alone, reading a book and hearing music at a high volume.
I'm getting too emotional. Aren't I? Anyway, feelings like those remain only a few moments before vanis.h.i.+ng like vapour. As a hardened veteran, I know that. But what can I do? It's my human flaw of trying to enjoy the most trivial things that only last a few moments. Though I hoped that they last forever. But as the realist I'm meant to be, I yearn for unrealistic things that in reality are just not supposed to be. It's a contemptuous situation I heartily expect even though it's useless. But that ironically kinda fits my character and my programmed character troupes. Because only a fool has idiotic ideas like hope and main characters are notorious for that.
After strolling through some several stores. As we strolled, it seemed there were stores for every fetish. While we were walking, Nouta and Keima stopped in their tracks as they had stumbled upon a maid cafe. A tsundere maid cafe to be exact and as you all know, they begged their a.s.ses off with so pitiful eyes. That I almost fell for it. I managed to change Keima's mind on going to it. But Nouta was a reluctant b.a.s.t.a.r.d. But he after Keima explained the financial dilemma and some physical abuses from me. He finally let go of the urge of going into a maid cafe with overpriced and low quality meals. Seriously, if someone blew that place sky high I really wouldn't mind. There are enough h.o.r.n.y and m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t celestial individuals up in the afterlife. Who would kindly pay for maids who could meet their m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic needs.
After alittle more casual strolling. We all decided to spend the time at a famous pastry shop and cafe. We ate and it seems it was on the behest of my newly given credit card. It seems Aunt Mitsuru is very fond of her nephews. So fond, that she gave Kakes.h.i.+-kun and I, her premium credit cards. And if we had asked for it, she would give us keys to that impressive Koeingsegg sports car she has. Though I doubt it and I think she's hiding something from because last, I remember she showed us photos of the family estate garage filled with sports cars and high performance bikes. Which would not be financially able for a person like Aunt Mitsuru. I wonder, what kind of work she does. Author-san probably knows about it. I should stop thinking about it.
By the end of the day, we were all taking a taxis in pairs to home. Kakes.h.i.+ and I got in one and Nouta and Keima got on another taxi.
And by end of the day. I mean, daylight. The sun set and the dusk swept in. Kakes.h.i.+ and I headed towards the neighbourhood our home was located in. I got runned all over the neighbourhood by that son of a b.i.t.c.h dog. If I find it's owner...yes, I'm calling the dog 'it' because f.u.c.k it. I hope someone beats it or shoots it to death. If I find that dog's owner...I seriously gonna chock him to death....But I would prefer shooting before chocking someone to death. Because that would be better than something as barbaric as grabbing someone's neck...why am I suddenly talking about murder? Human instinct maybe.
You know that famous saying that barbarism is the natural state of man. Humanity, G.o.d's r.e.t.a.r.ded creation. Hahahaha. That's comedic gold.
We approach home like every other chapter. Except in this chapter, I have to mention something else that has not been mentioned.....yet because kicking a horse to death ain't gonna be enjoyable for anybody except s.a.d.i.s.ts and people who really hate the horse I mentioned. Man, humanity is a messed up bunch! But why the h.e.l.l, am I using the "kicking the horse to death" metaphor? There are other countless metaphors to describe human atrocities. But why that particular one. Maybe it's political correctness. It's all the rage these days.
Kakes.h.i.+ rang the bell and we had wait a few minutes. The brown door opened but we were not greeted by our hot mother instead by our handsome father with his muscular upper body exposed and him, trying to dry his (unknown coloured) hair with a towel. If I may say, He and Kakes.h.i.+ are more alike then I. Actually I have no facial features in common with my parents or family. I wonder sometimes, If I'm adopted or something.
After brus.h.i.+ng his hair for a while and when he was doing that. He open his mouth and said,
"Welcome home, boys! Your mother's currently out with your aunt, Mitsuru."
In my defence, that's not the most cheesy thing to say but If I were the one writing his dialogues. I could have made him say something better.
We, Kakes.h.i.+ and I walk into the our house, which had a wooden floor scheme. The house I lived in, was of the size of a regular anime character but not a certain red dragon king's house. That is a freaking palace. The walls had a green colour scheme.
Do I got to describe what I do after I come home from outside? You probably know this procedure, readers. So I'm just going to ask Author-sama to cut all the details pertaining to that and skip forward.
Suddenly a voice rang out to me in my head. It was the great Author-sama and he said,
"How about we just end the chapter here?"
And I replied to him respectfully,
"seriously, are you that lazy?"
"Nah, just that I got exams and family pressuring me to succeed. Also I got other projects, man. So I wanna make this quickly and finish this already. A man can withstand only so much."(Author)
"Are you abandoning me to die in the sea of nothingness?"(Takeo)
"No, I'm just saying that maybe I need s.p.a.ce and time. I may even consider death for peace of mind. Though death is probably overwhelmed due to the amount of people dying currently. So that's off the list. I got claustrophobia after all."(Author)
"Ah..Death. Nothing says die honorable or die eating burgers and french fries like Nemesis"(Takeo)
"She's actually the greek G.o.ddess of revenge"(Author)
"Nemesis is a "she"???"(Takeo)
"Yeah. Mate. Why don't you just keep to Foma tactics? While I'll take care of the Authors.h.i.+p. Nonetheless I commend you for realizing you foolishness. Even though you are a quirky copy of me. "(Author)
"Yeah. That's for the best. And before this chapter is finished. Can you tell me if there is really a plot in this story?"(Takeo)
"h.e.l.l, no. I do this for a hobby after all. No need to get serious when you take a month writing a chapter for various stories consisting 1000-2500 words. "(Author)
"And we end with that gents and ladies. This turned into a reality show somehow. But book reality show. Atleast I get to host something even though I'm not sentient enough to be called a reality show host."(Takeo)