Real Life In London

Chapter 30

"It is a lucky circ.u.mstance for him," said Tom: "and I think myself fortunate upon the same account, for I a.s.sure you I was very apprehensive of some serious mischief resulting from the disturbance."~231~~

CHAPTER XVI

"Blest be the pencil which from death can save The semblance of the virtuous, wise and brave, That youth and emulation still may gaze On those inspiring forms of ancient days, And, from the force of bright example bold, Rival their worth, and be what they behold."

".....I admire, None more admires the painter's magic skill, Who shews me that which I shall never see, Conveys a distant country into mine, And throws Italian light on British walls."

AS they entered the house, a few doors up Newman Street, Tallyho met them, having divested himself of the mud which had been thrown upon his garments by the indiscriminating hand of an enraged mult.i.tude; and after politely thanking the gentleman for his friendly accommodation, they were about to proceed to the place of their original destination; when Dashall, perceiving an elegantly dressed lady on the opposite side of the way, felt, instinctively as it were, for the usual appendage of a modern fas.h.i.+onable, the quizzing-gla.s.s; in the performance of this he was subjected to a double disappointment, for his rencontre with the Hibernians had s.h.i.+vered the fragile ornament to atoms in his pocket, and before he could draw forth the useless fragments, the more important object of his attention was beyond the power of his visual orbs.

"It might have been worse," said he, as he survey'd the broken bauble: "it is a loss which can easily be repaired, and if in losing that, I have prevented more serious mischief, there is at least some consolation. Apropos, here is the very place for supplying the defect without loss of time. Dixon," {1} continued he, looking at

1 This gentleman, whose persevering endeavours in his profession ent.i.tle him to the patronage of the public, without pretending to second sight, or the powers that are so frequently attributed to the seventh son of a seventh son, has thrown some new lights upon the world. Although he does not pretend to make "Helps to Read," his establishment at No. 93, Newman Street, Oxford Road, of upwards of thirty years' standing, is deservedly celebrated for gla.s.ses suited to all sights, manufactured upon principles derived from long study and practical experience. Indeed, if we are to- place any reliance on his Advertis.e.m.e.nts, he has brought them to a state of perfection never before attained, and not to be surpa.s.sed.

~232~~the name over the door--"aye, I remember to have seen his advertis.e.m.e.nts in the papers, and have no doubt I may be suited here to a _shaving_"

Upon saying this, they entered the house, and found the improver of spectacles and eye-gla.s.ses surrounded with the articles of his trade, who, in a moment, recognized Tom as the chief instrument in quelling the tumult, and added his acknowledgments to what had already been offered for his successful exertions, a.s.suring him at the same time, that as he considered sight to be one of the most invaluable blessings "bestowed on mankind, he had for many years devoted the whole of his time and attention to the improvement of gla.s.ses--put into his hand a short treatise on the subject, and on the important a.s.sistance which may be afforded by a judicious selection of spectacles to naturally imperfect or overstrained eyes. Bob, in the mean time, was amusing himself with reading bills, pamphlets, and newspapers, which lay upon the counter.

Dashall listened with attention to his dissertation on sight, spectacles, focusses, lens, reflection, refraction, &c.; but, as he was not defective in the particular organs alluded to, felt but little interested on the subject; selected what he really wanted, or rather what etiquette required, when, to their great gratification, in came Sparkle. After the first salutations were over, the latter purchased an opera-gla.s.s; then, in company with Tom and Bob, proceeded to Oxford Street, and upon learning their destination, determined also to take a peep at the Exhibition.

"Come along," said Tom, catching hold of his arm, and directing him towards Soho Square. But Sparkle recollecting that he had appointed to meet Miss Mortimer, her Brother, and Merry well, to accompany them to Somerset House, and finding time had escaped with more ~233~~rapidity than he expected, wished them a good morning, hoped they should meet again in the course of the day, and departed.

"You see," said Tom, "Sparkle is fully engaged in the business of love; Miss Mortimer claims all his attention for the present."

"You appear to be very envious of his enjoyments," replied Bob.

"Not so, indeed," continued Tom; "I am only regretting that other pursuits have estranged him from our company."

On entering the Exhibition at Soho, Tom, whose well-known taste for science and art, and particularly for the productions of the pencil and graver, had already rendered him conspicuous among those who knew him, made the following remarks: "I am really glad," said he, "to find that the eminent engravers of our country have at length adopted a method of bringing at one view before the public, a delineation of the progress made by our artists in a branch so essentially connected with the performance and durability of the Fine Arts. An Exhibition of this kind is well calculated to dispel the vulgar error, that engraving is a servile art in the scale of works of the mind, and mostly consigned to the copyist. An Establishment of this kind has long been wanted, and is deserving of extensive patronage."

Having secured Catalogues, they proceeded immediately to the gratifying scene.{1} The disposition and arrangement

1 The major part of the 405 subjects and sets of subjects, consisting of about 800 prints, are of moderate size, or small engravings for descriptive or literary publications, &e. They are the lesser diamonds in a valuable collection of jewellery, where there are but few that are not of lucid excellence, and worthy of glistening in the diadem of Apollo, or the cestus of Venus. So indeed they have, for here are many subjects from ancient and modern poetry, and other literature, and from portraits of beautiful women.

Among the first cla.s.s, the exquisitely finis.h.i.+ng graver of Mr. Warren gives us many after the designs of Messrs.

Westall, Wilkie, Smirke, Cooke, Uwins, and Corbould; as do the lucid gravers of Messrs. Englehart and Rhodes, the nicely executing hands of Messrs. Mitan, Romney, Finden, Robinson, &c. Among the latter cla.s.s, are _Anna Boleyn_, &c.

by Mr. Scriven, who marks so accurately the character of the objects, and of the Painter he works from, in his well blended dot and stroke; Mrs. Hope, by Dawe; many lovely women, by Mr. Reynolds; a Courts.h.i.+p, by Mr. Warren, from Terburg, in the Marquis of Stafford's Collection; two Mary Queen of Scots, by Messrs. Warren and Cooper.----From pictures of the old and modern Masters, are capital Portraits of celebrated characters of former and present times; of Mrs. Siddons, of Cicero, M. Angelo, Parmigiano, Fenelon, Raleigh, A. Durer, Erasmus, Cromwell, Ben Jonson, Selden, Swift, Gay, Sterne, Garrick, &c. of Byron, Bonaparte, West, Kenible, young Napoleon, of nearly all the English Royal Family, and many of the n.o.bility.

----Of all the charmingly engraved Landscapes of foreign and home Views, and of the Animal pieces, are many from Messrs. W. B. and G. Cooke's recent publications of The Coast of England, &c. of Mr. Hakewell's Italy, Mr. Nash's Paris, Captain Batty's France, &c. Mr. Neale's Vieios, many of Mr. Scott's and Mr. Milton's fine Animal Prints; exquisitely

Lowry, Mr. G. Cooke, &c. Among the large Prints are the two last of Mr. Holloway's n.o.ble set from Raffaelle's Cartoons; the Battle of Leipzig, finely executed by Mr. Scott, and containing Portraits of those monstrous a.s.sailers of Italy and of the common rights of mankind, the Emperors of Austria and Russia; Jaques from Shakspeare, by Mr. Middiman, Reynolds' Infant Hercules by Mr. Ward, The Bard, by J.

Bromley, jun. possessing the energy of the original by the late President Mr. West, and The Poacher detected, by Mr.

Lupton, from Mr. Kidd's beautiful picture.

~234~~of the plates, and the company dispersed in various parts of the rooms, were the first objects of attention, and the whole appearance was truly pleasing. At one end was to be seen an old Connoisseur examining a most beautiful engraving from an excellent drawing by Clennell{1}---another contemplating the brilliance of Goodall in his beautiful print of the Fountains of Neptune in the Gardens of Versailles. Dash all, who generally took care to see all before him, animate and inanimate, was occasionally

1 Luke Clennell--This unfortunate artist, a native of Morpeth, in Northumberland, and known to the world as an eminent engraver on wood, as well as a painter of no ordinary talent, has furnished one of those cases of human distress and misery which calls for the sympathy and aid of every friend to forlorn genius. In the midst of a prosperous career, with fortune "both hands full," smiling on every side, munificently treated by the British Inst.i.tution, employed on an important work by the Earl of Bridgewater (a picture of the Fete given by the City of London to the Allied Sovereigns,) and with no prospect but that delightful one of fame and independence, earned by his own exertions, the most dreadful affliction of life befel him, and insanity rooted where taste and judgment so conspicuously shone. The wretched artist was of necessity separated from his family; his young wife, the mother of his three infants, descended to the grave a broken-hearted victim, leaving the poor orphans dest.i.tute. The Print alluded to in this case, representing the Charge of the Life Guards at Waterloo in 1816, was published by subscription for their benefit.

~235~~casting glimpses at the pictures and the sprightly females by which they were surrounded, and drawing his Cousin to such subjects as appeared to be most deserving of attention; among which, the fine effect produced by Mr. W. B. Cooke stood high in his estimation, particularly in his View of Edinburgh from Calton Hill, and Brightling Observatory in Rose Hill--Le Keux, in his Monument, also partook of his encomiums--T.

Woolroth's Portraits, particularly that of the d.u.c.h.ess of Kent, claimed attention, and was deservedly admired, as well as a smaller one of Mr.

Shalis by the same artist; indeed, the whole appeared to be selected, combined and arranged under the direction of a master, and calculated at once to surprise and delight. After enjoying an hour's lounge in this agreeable company,

"Come," said Dashall, "we will repair to Somerset House, and amuse ourselves with colours.

"Halloo!" said a smart looking young man behind them--"_what am you arter?--where is you going to?_"

Upon turning round, Dashall discovered it to be the exquisite Mr.

Mincingait, who, having just caught a glimpse of him, and not knowing what to do with himself, hung as it were upon the company of Tom and his friend, by way of killing a little time; and was displaying his person and apparel to the greatest advantage as he pick'd his way along the pavement, alternately picking his teeth and twirling his watch-chain.

Pa.s.sing the end of Greek Street, some conversation having taken place upon the das.h.i.+ng Society in which he had spent the previous evening, Tom indulged himself in the following description of _How to Cut a Dash._

"Das.h.i.+ng society," said he, "is almost every where to be found in London: it is indeed of so much importance among the generality of town residents, that a sacrifice of every thing that is dear and valuable is frequently made to appearance."

"You are a quiz," said Mincingait; "but I don't mind you, so go your length."

"Very well," continued Tom; "then by way of instruction to my friend, I will give my ideas upon the subject, and if perchance you should find any resemblance to yourself in the picture I am about to draw, don't let all the world know it. If you have an inclination to cut a dash, situation and circ.u.mstances in life have nothing to ~236~~do with it; a good bold face and a stock of a.s.surance, are the most essential requisites. With these, you must in the first place fall upon some method to trick a tailor (provided you have not certain qualms that will prevent you) by getting into his debt, for much depends upon exteriors.

There is no crime in this, for you pay him if you are able--and good clothes are very necessary for a dash; having them cut after the newest fas.h.i.+on, is also very essential. Sally forth, if on a sunday morning in quest of a companion with whom you have the night previous (at a tavern or confectioner's) engaged to meet at the corner. After having pa.s.sed the usual compliments of the morning with him, place yourself in a fas.h.i.+onable att.i.tude, your thumbs thrust in your pantaloon's pockets--the right foot thrown carelessly across the left, resting on the toe, exhibits your line turned ancle, or new boot, and is certainly a very modest att.i.tude--your cravat finically adjusted, and tied sufficiently tight to produce a fine full-blooming countenance: corsets and bag pantaloons are indispensably necessary to accoutre you for the stand. When in this trim, dilate upon the events of the times--know but very little of domestic affairs--expatiate and criticise upon the imperfections or charms of the pa.s.sing mult.i.tude--tell a fine story to some acquaintance who knows but little about you, and, by this means, borrow as much money as will furnish you with a very small bamboo, or very large cudgel; extremes are very indispensable for a good dash.

"It is extremely unbecoming for a gentleman of fas.h.i.+on to pay any regard to that old superst.i.tious ceremony of what is commonly called '_going to church'_--or, at most, of attending more than half a day in the week.

To attend public wors.h.i.+p more than one hour in seven days must be very fatiguing to a person of genteel habits--besides it would be countenancing an old established custom. In former times, a serious and devout attention to divine service was not thought improper; but should a gentleman of modern manners attend public wors.h.i.+p, to discover, according to the law of the polite, what new face of fas.h.i.+on appears, I need not mention the absurdity of decent behaviour.

'What go to meeting, say?--why this the vulgar do, Yes, and it is a custom old as Homer too! Sure, then, we folks of fas.h.i.+on must with this dispense, Or differ in some way from folks of common sense.'

~237~~"Melodious, indeed, are the voices of ladies and gentlemen whispering across the pews, politely inquiring after each other's health--the hour at which they got home from their Sat.u.r.day evening's party--what gallants attended them; and what la.s.ses they saw safe home.

How engaging the polite posture of looking on the person next you, or in sound sleep, instead of sacred music, playing loud ba.s.s through the nose! But to have proceeded methodically in enumerating the improvements in manners, I ought, first, to have mentioned some of the important advantages of staying from church until the service is half finished.

Should you attend at the usual hour of commencing service, you might be supposed guilty of rising in the morning as early as nine or ten o'clock, and by that means be thought shockingly ungenteel--and if seated quietly in the pew, you might possibly remain unnoticed; but, by thundering along the aisle in the midst of prayer or sermon, you are pretty sure to command the attention of the audience, and obtain the honour of being thought by some, to have been engaged in some genteel affair the night before! Besides, it is well known that it is only the vulgar that attend church in proper time.

"When you parade the streets, take off your hat to every gentleman's carriage that pa.s.ses; you may do the same to any pretty woman--for if she is well bred, (you being smartly dressed) she will return the compliment before she be able to recollect whether your's be a face she has seen somewhere or not; those who see it, will call you a das.h.i.+ng fellow. When a beggar stops you, put your hand in your pocket, and tell him you are very sorry you have no change; this, you know, will be strictly true, and speaking truth is always a commendable quality;--or, if it suits you better, bid him go to the churchwarden--this you may easily do in a das.h.i.+ng way. Never think of following any business or profession,--such conduct is unworthy of a dasher. In the evening, never walk straight along the foot-way, but go in a zigzag direction--this will make some people believe you have been das.h.i.+ng down your bottle of wine after dinner. No dasher goes home sober.

"On making your appearance in the ball-room, put your hat under your arm: you will find an advantage in this, as it will make a stir in the room to make way for you and your hat, and apprize them of your entrance.

~238~~After one or two turns around the room, if the sets are all made up, make a stand before one of the mirrors, to adjust your cravat, hair, &c. Be sure to have your hair brushed all over the forehead, which will give you a very ferocious appearance. If you catch a strange damsel's eyes fixed upon you, take it for granted that you are a fascinating fellow, and cut a prodigious dash. As soon as the first set have finished.dancing, fix your thumbs as before-mentioned, and make a dash through the gaping crowd in pursuit of a partner; if you are likely to be disappointed in obtaining one with whom you are acquainted, select the smallest child in the room; by that means, you will attract the attention of the ladies, and secure to you the hand of a charming Miss for the next dance. When on the floor with one of those das.h.i.+ng belles, commence a _tete-a-tete_ with her, and pay no attention whatever to the figure or steps, but walk as deliberately as the music will admit (not dropping your little chit chat) through the dance, which is considered, undoubtedly, very graceful, and less like a mechanic or dancing-master.

The dance finished, march into the bar, and call for a gla.s.s of blue-ruin, white-tape, or stark-naked, which is a very fas.h.i.+onable liquor among the 'ton,' and if called on to pay for it, tell the landlord you have left your purse in one of your blues at home; and that you will recollect it at the next ball--this, you know, can be done in a genteel way, and you will be 'all the go.' Return into the room, and either tread upon some gentleman's toes, or give him a slight touch with your elbow: which, if he be inclined to resent, tell him, 'pon lionour,'

you did not observe him, or, if inclined to suffer it with impunity--'

Get out of the way, fellow, d----n you.'

On your way home, after escorting your fair inamorata to her peaceful abode, make a few calls for the purpose of taking a little more stimulus with some particular friends, and then return home for the night to 'steep your senses in forgetfulness.'"

"A very amusing and useful account, truly," said Bob, as his Cousin closed his chapter of instructions How to Cut a Dash.

"It is, at least, a just and true delineation of living character."

"Not without a good portion of caricature," said Mincingait. "You are downright scurrilous, and ought not to be tolerated in civilized society. Sink me, if you ~239~~are not quite a bore, and not fit company for a Gentleman. so I shall wish you a good morning."

Tom and Bob laughed heartily at this declaration of the Das.h.i.+ng Blade, and, wis.h.i.+ng him a pleasant walk and a safe return, they separated.

By this time they had arrived at Somerset House: it was near three o'clock, and the Rooms exhibited a brilliant crowd of rank and fas.h.i.+on, which considerably enhanced the value of its other decorations.

"I have already," said Dashall, "given you a general description of this building, and shall therefore confine my present observations wholly to the establishment of the Royal Academy for the encouragement of the Fine Arts, for the cultivation of which London is now much and deservedly distinguished; and to the progressive improvement in which we are indebted to that Exhibition we have already witnessed. This Academy was opened by Royal Charter in 1768; and it consists of forty members, called Royal Academicians, twenty a.s.sociates, and six a.s.sociate Engravers. The first President was the justly celebrated Sir Joshua Reynolds; the second, the highly respected Benjamin West; and the present, is Sir Thomas Lawrence.



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