Nixonland.

Chapter 35

The federal commissioner of public services reported 771 bomb threats in federal buildings in 1971 and 35 explosions. In January, police in New York, San Francisco, and Chicago defused bombs set in eight banks sent by a group calling itself the Movement for Amerika. A manhunt was under way for the alleged perpetrator-a former army radio operator who went AWOL, then reenlisted in the summer of 1971 under an a.s.sumed name-just as Stanford announced that Professor H. Bruce Franklin, who kept on taking over buildings, might become the first professor to lose tenure there in seventy years. On January 17, his supporters set fires around campus and a black-powder bomb was found taped to a circuit breaker. The next day, in Miami, antipollution activists shut down a Pepsi bottling plant by cementing over a drainage pipe. That same day, Mayor Daley held a press conference announcing the arrest of two college students, nineteen and eighteen years old, for conspiracy to poison Chicago's drinking water with a typhoid microorganism found in their house. Their plan had been to inoculate members of their group, which they called Rise, in order to survive and form a master race.

The berserk was breaking out on every side. Sometimes it was hard to tell tell the sides. The Plumbers and their patron harbored no such doubts. The left were the aggressors. Everyone else was just playing defense. the sides. The Plumbers and their patron harbored no such doubts. The left were the aggressors. Everyone else was just playing defense.

The aggressors worked, for instance, by defiling religion. The president endured a receiving line at a White House dinner honoring voluntarism; "Typical of the group," he complained to Haldeman, "was a fellow who came through the line from California who said he was a Quaker. He was an obvious, roaring f.a.g." The aggressors poisoned the airwaves. When the president flipped through the channels after a ball game he wanted to watch was rained out, he came across an episode of CBS's All in the Family All in the Family in which an old buddy of Archie's came out of the closet. "The show was a total glorification of h.o.m.os.e.x.... Is this common on TV?-destruction of civilization to build h.o.m.os. Made the h.o.m.os the most attractive type." He added a fillip on cla.s.sical civilization: "You know what happened to the Greeks! h.o.m.os.e.xuality destroyed them." in which an old buddy of Archie's came out of the closet. "The show was a total glorification of h.o.m.os.e.x.... Is this common on TV?-destruction of civilization to build h.o.m.os. Made the h.o.m.os the most attractive type." He added a fillip on cla.s.sical civilization: "You know what happened to the Greeks! h.o.m.os.e.xuality destroyed them."

The aggressors poisoned the minds of the innocent young. Two University of Michigan English professors published a textbook with Random House composed entirely of articles from insurgent underground newspapers, "a logical culmination of the trend toward 'relevant' readers for composition courses," the preface read. Black Viewpoints, Black Viewpoints, a Signet paperback for high schoolers, included Eldridge Cleaver's "Revolution in the White Mother Country," and H. Rap Brown's "Die n.i.g.g.e.r Die" ("Discussion and Study Questions...3. How does Brown's idea of 'neo-colonialism' fit into the scheme of colonized peoples as clarified by Cleaver, Forman, Jones, and others?"). Gynecological clinics opened up at universities; Michigan's booked nine hundred appointments in September alone; Boston University's was booked months in advance, though it hadn't been publicized in the student paper for fear of reaction from conservative regents. At Princeton a coed told a newspaper, "There's a general feeling that the examination is cursory and the doctors don't really care. They're just there to dispense contraceptives." a Signet paperback for high schoolers, included Eldridge Cleaver's "Revolution in the White Mother Country," and H. Rap Brown's "Die n.i.g.g.e.r Die" ("Discussion and Study Questions...3. How does Brown's idea of 'neo-colonialism' fit into the scheme of colonized peoples as clarified by Cleaver, Forman, Jones, and others?"). Gynecological clinics opened up at universities; Michigan's booked nine hundred appointments in September alone; Boston University's was booked months in advance, though it hadn't been publicized in the student paper for fear of reaction from conservative regents. At Princeton a coed told a newspaper, "There's a general feeling that the examination is cursory and the doctors don't really care. They're just there to dispense contraceptives."

Black Panther George Jackson's prison letters were reviewed in the New York Times New York Times by Julius Lester: "after reading this book, whites will long for the good old days when all they had to think about was Stokely Carmichael and H. Rap Brown." On August 21, Jackson was shot to death at San Quentin in an armed rescue attempt (mourners were asked to contribute guns in lieu of flowers to his funeral). A black crime wave broke out in Wilmington, North Carolina, and a vigilante group called Rights of White People sprang up that local law enforcement warned was more dangerous than the Ku Klux Klan. In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, a group of circuit-riding black militants were arrested after a gun battle the by Julius Lester: "after reading this book, whites will long for the good old days when all they had to think about was Stokely Carmichael and H. Rap Brown." On August 21, Jackson was shot to death at San Quentin in an armed rescue attempt (mourners were asked to contribute guns in lieu of flowers to his funeral). A black crime wave broke out in Wilmington, North Carolina, and a vigilante group called Rights of White People sprang up that local law enforcement warned was more dangerous than the Ku Klux Klan. In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, a group of circuit-riding black militants were arrested after a gun battle the Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Times reported was part of a plan "to take over towns across the United States and give them 'back to the black people.'" In upstate New York the police chief in Syracuse complained he was powerless to stop the black teenagers who'd begun "guerrilla-type warfare-hit and run" against his officers. reported was part of a plan "to take over towns across the United States and give them 'back to the black people.'" In upstate New York the police chief in Syracuse complained he was powerless to stop the black teenagers who'd begun "guerrilla-type warfare-hit and run" against his officers.

And, 109 miles to the west of Syracuse as the crow flies, the Labor Day revels of the good townsfolk of the village of Attica, New York, were disturbed by terrifying reports that the prison where the town's husbands and brothers and fathers worked was about to erupt.

The uprising started after inmate leaders who'd signed a July pet.i.tion in protest of "brutal, dehumanized" conditions met, inconclusively, with the New York State commissioner of correctional services. The next week a routine scuffle broke out in D Block. Before long, a riot was raging. Prisoners started fracturing guards' skulls with pilfered lengths of pipe, pieces of chain, broomsticks, hammers, and baseball bats. They captured the exercise yard and burned the schoolhouse and chapel, stripped correctional officers naked and forced them through a club-swinging gauntlet.

It was chaos-until some Black Power acolytes got ideas.

They started taking hostages-thirty-eight prison guards. Two leaders from each cellblock formed a negotiating team. They demanded that a facility designed for 1,600 not hold 2,250, that they deserved more than one shower a week, that Muslim wors.h.i.+p not be forbidden by the rule against "inmates congregating in large groups." They grew bolder: they asked for amnesty, for "reconstruction of ATTICA PRISON to be done by inmates and/or inmate supervision," for their "speedy and safe transportation out of confinement to a non-imperialist country."

The TV cameras arrived. "We have composed this declaration to the people of America to let them know exactly how we feel and what it is they must do," a twenty-one-year-old spokesman announced, cool and confident. "The entire incident that has erupted here at Attica is not a result of the dastardly bushwhacking of two prisoners September eighth of 1971 but of the unmitigated oppression wrought by the racist administrative network of this prison throughout the year.

"We are men men! We are not beasts and we do not intend to be beaten and driven as such....

"We will not compromise on any terms except those terms agreeable to us. We call upon all the conscientious citizens of America to a.s.sist us in putting an end to this situation that threatens the lives of not only us, but each and every one of you as well.

"We have set forth demands..."

And what kind of upside-down world was it where prisoners presented "demands"?

They were, in part, successful-arranging for Bobby Seale, Tom Wicker, Congressman Herman Badillo from the Bronx, William Kunstler, Minister Louis Farrakhan, and others to be brought in as their advocates. The state prison commissioner was confident that the local team on the ground could defuse the situation without violence, that to otherwise regain control would require a "furious hand-to-hand battle" that would end up with hostages dead. Negotiators, observers, and prison officials pleaded for Governor Rockefeller to come, but he chose to stay behind. The talks grew more complicated; the standoff continued; Tom Wicker, the liberal New York Times New York Times columnist, addressed townspeople in the rainy parking lot about the state of play. He announced he had spoken to five of the hostages. They were being well treated, he said; and what's more, they supported the inmates' demands for amnesty. columnist, addressed townspeople in the rainy parking lot about the state of play. He announced he had spoken to five of the hostages. They were being well treated, he said; and what's more, they supported the inmates' demands for amnesty.

"I want to add my further testimony to the unity that's shown in the yard. To the unanimous testimony of these men that regard themselves as being aggrieved by the treatment that they say that they have received in the prison in past years. And they appear to be unwilling to give up the hostages-give up their situation in the prison-for anything short of complete amnesty."

A townsperson, s.h.i.+vering in the evening drizzle, shouted, "Is there complete amnesty for murder?"

"Why don't you talk about the unity of the guards, you double-crossing b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!"

A wild-eyed man in prison-guard clothes, the father of one of the hostages, seething beyond control: "n.i.g.g.e.r lover! We have to go in and bring those people out. Wet-nursing those convicts won't do it. We have to get our sons back or just bomb the h.e.l.l out of the place!"

"Brutality? I don't give a good G.o.dd.a.m.n!"

"I'd like to show them a little brutality!"

"Rapers, murderers. Do you want 'em on the street? They're in there because they belong in there."

"Brutal? My husband brutal?"

"What kind of white man are you? Standing on a platform with a n.i.g.g.e.r...helping n.i.g.g.e.rs against your own."

Nelson Rockefeller said by phone he had no const.i.tutional authority to act. Until, that is, he decided he'd had enough and signed off on a rescue attempt, the details of which he left up to the commanders on the scene.

Monday morning, September 13. State police snipers and strike teams secreted themselves out of sight of the prison yard below.

Inmates who believed negotiations still ongoing made a bluff to strengthen their hand: they displayed eight of the hostages on an open walkway, bound and blindfolded, with blades pressed to their throats. Revenge-minded officers fired indiscriminately. Troopers in their vision-obstructing gas masks shot hostages. When the choking, blinding fog of CS gas cleared, scores of bodies littered the ground, writhing or motionless. Nine hostages and twenty-six inmates died immediately, four more of wounds in the days to come.

Pacification accomplished, false rumors spread among the officers: that one of the hostages had been castrated. That all of the hostages had died with their throats gashed. It spurred corrections officers to subsequent rounds of torture, as they took turns beating naked inmates.

The Chicago Tribune Chicago Tribune ran man-on-the-street reactions. A man with long hair and a beard said "it was a disaster. Uncivilized. Inhuman." A couple of women said the authorities overreacted. The consensus, however, was represented by the man who said, "There has to be law and order. That's all.... They did what they had to do." ran man-on-the-street reactions. A man with long hair and a beard said "it was a disaster. Uncivilized. Inhuman." A couple of women said the authorities overreacted. The consensus, however, was represented by the man who said, "There has to be law and order. That's all.... They did what they had to do."

Politicians struggled to make sense of it. Liberals such as John Lindsay, who'd dealt with his own prison riot at the Tombs in 1970, spoke to the imperative of prison reform; Vice President Agnew said Lindsay had fallen "right into line" with "the utopian leftists" and "on the side of the criminals." Nelson Rockefeller shocked his liberal fans with Reagan-style p.r.o.nouncements: the blame must be placed on those who "exploit legitimate grievances not because they want to correct them, but because they try to use them for the overthrow of society." Edmund Muskie said, "The Attica tragedy is more stark proof that something is terribly wrong with America. We have reached the point where men would rather die than live another day in America."

Which was pretty nihilistic for a presidential front-runner. But it matched the nihilistic national mood-such as Richard Nixon, reflecting that summer in a speech to media executives upon the columns of the National Archives Building: "Sometimes when I see those columns, I think of seeing them in Greece and Rome. And I think of what happened to Greece and Rome, and you see only what is left of great civilizations of the past-as they have become wealthy, as they lost their will to live, to improve, they became subject to the decadence that destroys the civilization. The United States is reaching that period."

He said that on July 6, even as Chuck Colson was putting together his White Housebased secret police. Seven weeks later, as Attica readied to blow, the Plumbers prepared for their first black-bag job.

Bud Krogh, nervous, showed late for the rendezvous in Room 16 with G. Gordon Liddy to hand over a fat envelope containing $5,000 in cash laundered from the a.s.sociated Milk Producers by Joseph Baroody, the son of the president of the American Enterprise Inst.i.tute. Krogh, a Christian Scientist, didn't exactly have ice water in his veins: "Here it is. Now, for G.o.d's sake, don't get caught."

Hunt and Liddy flew out to Los Angeles. The entry team traveled separately the same day. Their leader, Bernard Barker-code-named Macho-had been Hunt's number two at the Bay of Pigs; they had renewed their acquaintance, like old college buddies, at the tenth anniversary reunion in Miami. The Cubans Barker had recruited were active, along with Barker, in the CIA's Miami station, which had continued running propaganda and sabotage operations against Castro in Cuba-and, against the CIA's charter, within the United States. They hadn't been hard to convince. "E. Howard Hunt, under the name Eduardo," Barker explained to them, "represents to the Cuban people their liberation."

The base camp was the Beverly Hills Hilton; it had sight lines to Dr. Fielding's office. At 9 p.m. on September 3, two Cubans in the guise of Air Express couriers delivered a trunk to that office containing camera equipment and cheap RadioShack transceivers. Upon their exit, they made sure the rear door to the building was unlocked.

From base camp Liddy placed a call to ensure the doctor was safely at home. Green light: at midnight the Cubans arrived, Liddy standing sentry in the parking lot in a rented car. But they discovered that the rear door was no longer unlocked. They located a relatively well-concealed window to break. They realized an adjacent loud air conditioner would keep them from hearing an enemy approach. So Liddy, who was supposed to remain in his car lest the operation be traced back to the White House, broke operational protocol, pulled out his retractable Browning hunting knife, and guarded the crime scene until they achieved entry.

Tinkling gla.s.s; Liddy returned to his car.

Howard Hunt pulled up, agitated: Dr. Fielding was no longer at home. Liddy broke radio silence to see how near the Cubans were to being finished.

No response. They had forgotten to turn up the volume on their radios.

Just then the Cubans providentially rustled into view, and the group reconvened at the hotel, where Hunt was chilling champagne in antic.i.p.ation of a successful mission.

The Cubans reported that they had had to pry open the file cabinets with a crowbar, leaving behind physical evidence of their presence. Hunt asked what they'd found.

"Nothing, Eduardo. There's no file with his name on it."

"Are you sure sure?" Hunt asked, worriedly.

The Cubans pulled out photographs of the jimmied cabinets, explained how they'd pawed through every one, then strewn pills around to make it look as if a junkie had forced the window. A proud enough Liddy wrote in his memoirs, "At least the operation had been 'clean': in and out without detection. We decided to celebrate that, at least, with the champagne." He called Krogh, who green-lighted a recon mission for a possible future hit on Fielding's apartment.

Back in Was.h.i.+ngton, in the White House bas.e.m.e.nt, Krogh inspected Liddy's knife incredulously: "Would you really have used it-I mean, kill somebody?"

Of course, Liddy replied.

Krogh instructed him to keep it sharp and recommended him for a salary increase.

The Plumbers sketched out possible future projects. Dosing Ellsberg with LSD before he spoke at a fund-raiser, during the soup course? ("A warm liquid is ideal for the rapid absorption and wide dispersal of a drug.") Revisiting the Brookings firebombing plan? (Maybe they could acquire a fake D.C. fire engine, suit up their Cubans like firemen, and time the bomb to go off after hours, just as the Weathermen did-though the idea was shot down because a fire engine cost too much.) On September 8 the president grilled Ehrlichman on the Plumbers' progress: "We had one little operation," he responded. "It's been aborted out in Los Angeles, which, I think, is better that you don't know about. But we've got some dirty tricks under way. It may pay off." Ehrlichman brought up their attempts to hang alleged John F. Kennedy misdeeds around the Democratic Party's neck. "Some of this stuff is going to start surfacing," he promised, though he warned that the CIA had not been as forthcoming with cla.s.sified diplomatic cables as they would like.

Hearing of his lack of control of any lever of government always sent Richard Nixon into flights of rage. He started ranting about the IRS.

"We have the power but are we using it? To investigate contributors to Hubert Humphrey, contributors to Muskie, the Jews, you know, that are stealing everybody..." He trailed off. "You know, they really tried to crucify Ho Lewis"-Hobart Lewis, but are we using it? To investigate contributors to Hubert Humphrey, contributors to Muskie, the Jews, you know, that are stealing everybody..." He trailed off. "You know, they really tried to crucify Ho Lewis"-Hobart Lewis, Reader's Digest Reader's Digest's president and executive editor, who had been audited. "Are we looking into Muskie's return?...Hubert? Hubert's been in lots of funny deals.... Teddy? Who knows about the Kennedys? Shouldn't they be investigated?" (Like old hens, they started gossiping about Teddy's marriage.) The next week the president took it up with Haldeman: "Bob, please please get me the names of the Jews, you know, the big Jewish contributors of the Democrats.... Could we please investigate some of

The Plumbers were part of Nixon's reelection master plan. It was the same strategy he'd chartered in 1966: set Democrats at each other's throat. The motive behind implicating JFK in the murder of Ngo Dinh Diem was to tarnish the Kennedy name among both antiwar Democrats and Catholics (Diem was Catholic). Edmund Muskie was also also Catholic, and his foreign policy adviser-the dreaded W. Averell Harriman-could also with some creativity be implicated in the deed. Catholic, and his foreign policy adviser-the dreaded W. Averell Harriman-could also with some creativity be implicated in the deed.

The problem resided only in the historical facts. In truth, the responsible American officer in the overthrow and murder of Diem was a Republican-Nixon's 1960 running mate, Henry Cabot Lodge, then serving as amba.s.sador to South Vietnam. In conspiracy with the CIA, Lodge had deceived deceived President Kennedy into giving an ill-advised green light for a coup that Kennedy himself had naively been shocked to see end in an execution. These truths were why Howard Hunt was hard at work cobbling together new "facts." President Kennedy into giving an ill-advised green light for a coup that Kennedy himself had naively been shocked to see end in an execution. These truths were why Howard Hunt was hard at work cobbling together new "facts."

At a September 16 press conference, reporters started in on Nixon about South Vietnam's upcoming one-man election for president, and the suggestion of Was.h.i.+ngton senator Henry "Scoop" Jackson-a presidential hopeful-that the United States exert leverage to demand genuine democracy.

The president's response was bizarre. Indeed, none of his briefers knew what the h.e.l.l he was talking about.

"If what the senator is suggesting is that the United States should use its leverage now to overthrow Thieu, I would remind all concerned that the way we got into Vietnam was through overthrowing Diem and the complicity in the murder of Diem; and the way to get out of Vietnam, in my opinion, is not to overthrow Thieu with the inevitable consequence or the greatly increased danger, in my opinion, of that being followed by coup after coup and the dreary road to a Communist takeover."

The non sequitur served a purpose. They called it, in Was.h.i.+ngton, "getting it out there"-the sleazy business of slipping in narratives to embarra.s.s the opposition among a barrage of otherwise irrelevant information. In this case, the apposite chunk was "complicity in the murder of Diem." It was supposed to stick out like a sore thumb, as a cue to some intrepid reporter to start digging into the question of whether Kennedy had ordered Americans to stand down as Diem was murdered. That reporter could then be leaked a cable dated two days before Diem's murder that read: AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL MEETING TODAY, DECISION RELUCTANTLY MADE THAT NEITHER YOU NOR HARKIN SHOULD INTERVENE IN BEHALF OF DIEM OR NHU IN THE EVENT THEY SEEK ASYLUM. AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL MEETING TODAY, DECISION RELUCTANTLY MADE THAT NEITHER YOU NOR HARKIN SHOULD INTERVENE IN BEHALF OF DIEM OR NHU IN THE EVENT THEY SEEK ASYLUM. Howard Hunt had forged it from chunks of real cables using scissors, glue, and a Xerox machine. Howard Hunt had forged it from chunks of real cables using scissors, glue, and a Xerox machine.

It happened not to work: the president's words proved too oblique. But that was only one front in the battle. Another was to exploit Eugene McCarthy's festering bitterness toward the Democrats by steering him to run as a "fourth party" candidate for president. ("Five million might finance McCarthy," the president reflected one September day.) Another was to secretly push a black candidate for the Democratic nomination. Harry Dent and Delaware businessman John Rollins were the point men for this one: they could run an "independent" newspaper ad imploring a gra.s.sroots draft of Jesse Jackson, Haldeman explained, then barrage Jackson's Chicago office with thousands of "old $1 bills" from various parts of the country that look "like people have been saving their whole lives.... You do that two or three times and Jackson will start thinking people really want him to be president.... And after his ego is going, then you can't turn him off." Circ.u.mstantial evidence suggest the two schemes fused: by January, McCarthy announced he was scouting sites across the causeway from Miami Beach, site of the '72 Democratic convention, for angry delegates to form a rump convention to nominate McCarthy if the main event turned out to be "a mere rerun of 1968," perhaps with a s.h.i.+rley Chisholm as his vice-presidential nominee; also in January, Colson engineered a walkout of the black delegates at a convention of the National Youth Caucus.

Meanwhile there were the broadcast networks to flay-four of them, now that PBS, which unlike the others was relatively free of the need to placate corporate sponsors, had matured into a fearless news powerhouse. The White House's Office of Telecommunications Policy was crafting a public-broadcasting funding bill. OTP general counsel Antonin Scalia had drafted a series of memos on how the Corporation for Public Broadcasting might be made a more pliant va.s.sal of the White House. "The best possibility for White House influence is through the Presidential appointees to the Board of Directors," he wrote; the best way to shed the influence of "the liberal Establishment of the Northeast" would be to strengthen local stations at the expense of the national organization. Such subtleties were all well and good until Richard Nixon read in his news summary that Sander Vanocur, late of NBC, who'd been a Nixon bete noire since the 1960 presidential debates, was slated to coanchor a new PBS newsmagazine. Nixon issued a blunt dictate: "all funds for Public Broadcasting be cut immediately."

As that order was kicked down to staff for the difficult political problem of implementation, the Oval Office's malign attentions turned to the broader media problem. The president asked Chuck Colson if he'd read the new book The News Twisters The News Twisters by Edith Efron, an employee of one of his biggest backers, publisher Walter Annenberg. Colson replied that he had and found it a waste of time. by Edith Efron, an employee of one of his biggest backers, publisher Walter Annenberg. Colson replied that he had and found it a waste of time.

Wrong answer.

The News Twisters purported to be an objective study proving the networks followed "the elitist-liberal-left line in all controversies," "actively slanting" against the "white middle-cla.s.s majority"-80 percent to 20, Efron concluded. To make the case, she videotaped hundreds of hours of broadcasts about the 1968 presidential election, marking each utterance for the side she took it to favor. Her judgments proved rather idiosyncratic. In heads-I-win-tails-you-lose fas.h.i.+on, footage of Humphrey being heckled by antiwar protesters was scored as "supports demonstrators"; footage depicting Humphrey excoriating H. Rap Brown and Stokely Carmichael and "extremists of the left and the right" was scored as "anti-conservative." A CBS report that Nixon was "warning his staff against overconfidence, but he himself hardly looks worried," was scored as suggesting Nixon "is a liar." purported to be an objective study proving the networks followed "the elitist-liberal-left line in all controversies," "actively slanting" against the "white middle-cla.s.s majority"-80 percent to 20, Efron concluded. To make the case, she videotaped hundreds of hours of broadcasts about the 1968 presidential election, marking each utterance for the side she took it to favor. Her judgments proved rather idiosyncratic. In heads-I-win-tails-you-lose fas.h.i.+on, footage of Humphrey being heckled by antiwar protesters was scored as "supports demonstrators"; footage depicting Humphrey excoriating H. Rap Brown and Stokely Carmichael and "extremists of the left and the right" was scored as "anti-conservative." A CBS report that Nixon was "warning his staff against overconfidence, but he himself hardly looks worried," was scored as suggesting Nixon "is a liar."

This, the president concluded, was the president concluded, was literature. literature. Nixon ordered Colson to get it on the bestseller list. Availing himself of $8,000 from the same funds that bought their gear for the Fielding break-in, Colson bought out bookstores' stock. Cartons of Nixon ordered Colson to get it on the bestseller list. Availing himself of $8,000 from the same funds that bought their gear for the Fielding break-in, Colson bought out bookstores' stock. Cartons of The News Twisters The News Twisters piled up in Howard Hunt's office-as it appeared on the bestseller lists beside LBJ's memoirs, B. F. Skinner's piled up in Howard Hunt's office-as it appeared on the bestseller lists beside LBJ's memoirs, B. F. Skinner's Beyond Freedom & Dignity, The Last Whole Earth Catalog, Beyond Freedom & Dignity, The Last Whole Earth Catalog, and the s.e.x manual and the s.e.x manual Any Woman Can! Any Woman Can!

Why not? The Kennedys were worse. Joe Kennedy had gotten his kid Jack's college thesis cleaned up and published as a book and schemed to get his ghostwritten Profiles in Courage Profiles in Courage a Pulitzer. "They're using any means," Nixon told Colson and Haldeman. "We are going to use any means. Is that clear?" a Pulitzer. "They're using any means," Nixon told Colson and Haldeman. "We are going to use any means. Is that clear?"

How would the American people have reacted if they knew about this kind of stuff? A relevant question for the future. The New Yorker New Yorker ran a cartoon when these crimes were finally investigated of two men at a bar: "Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leaders.h.i.+p, he'd give them moral leaders.h.i.+p." Part of Richard Nixon dreamed of world peace. Part of him gave the public something it wanted as much or more: an outlet for their hatreds. At a time when pulp readers thrilled to the notion of a das.h.i.+ng liberal senator as a pract.i.tioner of human sacrifice, what Richard Nixon saw as fighting evil and what much of the public saw as fighting evil overlapped. They ran a cartoon when these crimes were finally investigated of two men at a bar: "Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leaders.h.i.+p, he'd give them moral leaders.h.i.+p." Part of Richard Nixon dreamed of world peace. Part of him gave the public something it wanted as much or more: an outlet for their hatreds. At a time when pulp readers thrilled to the notion of a das.h.i.+ng liberal senator as a pract.i.tioner of human sacrifice, what Richard Nixon saw as fighting evil and what much of the public saw as fighting evil overlapped. They identified identified with Richard Nixon-not despite the anxieties and dreads that drove him, but because of them. with Richard Nixon-not despite the anxieties and dreads that drove him, but because of them.

Liberals had always had a hard time grasping how anyone could identify with Nixon. At the 1968 Republican National Convention a Rockefeller retainer came across a friendly matron from Pennsylvania wearing a Nixon b.u.t.ton. "I thought your delegation was supposed to be in our corner," he teased.

"Oh," she said, beaming, "but I I like Nixon." like Nixon."

"You mean you support Nixon. You admire and respect Nixon."

"That, too. But I like d.i.c.k Nixon."

By 1971, more and more Americans were professing to love d.i.c.k Nixon-not despite the fear and dread that produced the Plumbers, but in some sense because of it.

They loved him, too, for his squareness. A clean-cut brother-sister pop act from Orange County cooed their way into prominence in 1971. "The Carpenters are hardly what you'd call political," the Chicago Tribune Chicago Tribune's music critic wrote in August, "but friends of mine on the West Coast tell me their music is known in some circles out there as 'Nixon music.'"

Part of it was nostalgia. "Boy, the way Glenn Miller playedddd!" Edith and Archie Bunker bleated out each week, a prelude to Archie's weekly rants against the spics and hebes and hippies and pinkos. The "Rat Pack"-the merry band led by Frank Sinatra who'd sold themselves as cutting-edge hedonists in the 1950s and early '60s but proudly identified as Nixon fans now that hedonism had become democratized-were enjoying a resurgence coincident with their rightward turn; Sinatra himself, whose simultaneous l.u.s.ting after and loathing for the new culture resembled the movie Joe Joe (in a 1966 (in a 1966 Esquire Esquire profile, he was depicted slapping around a hippie; that same year, in Mia Farrow, he married one), had said in 1968, "I'll do anything to defeat that b.u.m Nixon." Now he made Spiro Agnew a regular golf partner. Sammy Davis Jr. was America's most prominent black Republican. profile, he was depicted slapping around a hippie; that same year, in Mia Farrow, he married one), had said in 1968, "I'll do anything to defeat that b.u.m Nixon." Now he made Spiro Agnew a regular golf partner. Sammy Davis Jr. was America's most prominent black Republican.

Dean Martin hosted a nostalgic variety show on TV, then a spin-off, The Golddiggers, The Golddiggers, in which wholesome girls did 1930s-style production numbers in between vaudeville-style comedians. Mantovani (the king of elevator music) and Ray Conniff (the king of supermarket music) churned out hit LPs. Lawrence Welk was a hit in TV syndication. Another syndicated hit was the corny Nashville revue in which wholesome girls did 1930s-style production numbers in between vaudeville-style comedians. Mantovani (the king of elevator music) and Ray Conniff (the king of supermarket music) churned out hit LPs. Lawrence Welk was a hit in TV syndication. Another syndicated hit was the corny Nashville revue Hee Haw. Hee Haw. Merle Haggard, a former burglar and resident of San Quentin, scored not merely a hit but a phenomenon with "Okie from Muskogee" ("We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee / We don't take our trips on LSD"). The first time he sang it, at Fort Bragg, the soldiers rushed the stage to embrace him and made him perform it again. It sp.a.w.ned a slew of imitations. When Johnny Cash, awkward in white tie and tails, sang at the White House, he politely turned down a request from the president to sing one of them: Guy Drake's "Welfare Cadillac." Merle Haggard, a former burglar and resident of San Quentin, scored not merely a hit but a phenomenon with "Okie from Muskogee" ("We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee / We don't take our trips on LSD"). The first time he sang it, at Fort Bragg, the soldiers rushed the stage to embrace him and made him perform it again. It sp.a.w.ned a slew of imitations. When Johnny Cash, awkward in white tie and tails, sang at the White House, he politely turned down a request from the president to sing one of them: Guy Drake's "Welfare Cadillac."

No TV show was more popular than Bonanza Bonanza-steely cowboys keeping decent townfolk safe from desperadoes, just as Nixon said after watching John Wayne's Chisum: Chisum: "the good guys come out ahead in the westerns; the bad guys lose." As Lorne Greene as "the good guys come out ahead in the westerns; the bad guys lose." As Lorne Greene as Bonanza Bonanza patriarch Ben Cartwright liked to say, "A man's never wrong doing what he thinks is right." Orthogonian culture, a tangle of rage and piety: its circ.u.mference was expanding. patriarch Ben Cartwright liked to say, "A man's never wrong doing what he thinks is right." Orthogonian culture, a tangle of rage and piety: its circ.u.mference was expanding.

But a vague sense that good-dad Nixon would take care of the bad-son hippies wasn't enough for a majority; the Republican defeats in 1970 showed that plainly enough. His unfavorable poll showings that summer against Kennedy and Muskie and Humphrey showed it, too. How much was the tacit endors.e.m.e.nt of dulcet-voiced Karen Carpenter worth that summer when 73 percent of Americans disapproved of the president's handling of the economy? Fifty percent wanted him to do something he'd pledged since his first week as president never to do: take the Democrats' advice and inst.i.tute a freeze on wages and prices. He had excoriated controls as recently as August 4, 1971: they would "stifle the American economy, its dynamism, its productivity, and would be, I think, a mortal blow to the United States as a first-cla.s.s economic power."

That dynamism was in a sorry condition. Copper, railroad, dock, and telecommunications workers had gone on strike for inflationary wage settlements. Steel narrowly avoided a strike by giving workers a 15 percent wage increase. Nixon had spent July pressuring Arthur Burns for lower interest rates; when the Federal Reserve chair denied him, Colson leaked a story that Burns was begging for a salary increase for himself (actually he was asking for a salary increase for the Fed chair to follow him). On speculation of open warfare between the Oval Office and the Fed, the Dow Jones fell 3 percent in a week.

That drop happened the same day, July 20, that Nixon called in the Republican congressional leaders.h.i.+p for a meeting: expecting huzzahs for his China breakthrough, instead they grilled him on what he was going to do about the economy. Steel announced an 8 percent price hike on August 3-two days before the Bureau of Labor Statistics announced the biggest monthly increase in the wholesale price index since 1965 ("That little Jew c.o.c.ksucker is the same guy who screwed us in the Eisenhower administration," Nixon noted of the commissioner of labor statistics, ordering White House personnel chief Fred Malek to tally up how many Jews worked for the BLS so they could be purged for conspiring against Nixon). By August 10, the Dow was down 111 points from a spring high of 950.80; the next day Great Britain announced a wager against the future of the U.S. economy by stepping up to the U.S. Federal Reserve Bank's metaphorical "gold window" and requesting an exchange of $3 billion in U.S. currency for forty thousand tons of bullion from Fort Knox.

At that, Treasury Secretary John Connally told his president it was time to put into effect the plan they had discussed.

Connally had been on the job since February 1971. Nixon had previously brought the retired conservative Democratic Texas governor into the White House as a bit player, appointing him to his Advisory Council on Executive Reorganization. When that advisory committee had presented to him their conclusions two weeks after the agonizing 1970 congressional election results, they had nearly put him to sleep with their technocratic recommendations-all except Connally, who held the president spellbound with a forceful presentation on how executive reorganization could increase his political political base. That had been November 19, 1970, a particularly difficult day: Nixon had just tried and failed to get his original treasury secretary, David Kennedy, a stolid nullity, to volunteer his resignation (like many apparently bold politicians, Nixon hated firing people). Nixon apportioned blame to Kennedy and the rest of his economic team for the political losses Nixon had just suffered. They were "gradualists," content with responsible tinkering around the edges of monetary and fiscal policy. "They just don't get in and fight," Nixon complained to Haldeman. base. That had been November 19, 1970, a particularly difficult day: Nixon had just tried and failed to get his original treasury secretary, David Kennedy, a stolid nullity, to volunteer his resignation (like many apparently bold politicians, Nixon hated firing people). Nixon apportioned blame to Kennedy and the rest of his economic team for the political losses Nixon had just suffered. They were "gradualists," content with responsible tinkering around the edges of monetary and fiscal policy. "They just don't get in and fight," Nixon complained to Haldeman.

Nixon had by then become convinced that one of the reasons he had to serve a full eight years was because he grasped what was true in the intimations of the apocalypticists on the bestseller lists: the imminence of America's decline as the world's number one power. He believed Nixon, and only Nixon, in a second term, safely removed from the requirement of ever winning another election, could cus.h.i.+on the blow by teaching Americans to live within limits. The conclusion he drew from this was paradoxical and astonis.h.i.+ng: he would have to win the election by doing whatever he had to do to make the economy appear appear to boom in the run-up to the 1972 elections, no matter the longer-term consequences of the techniques it took to do it. The problem was cautious, fiscally conservative economic advisers such as Kennedy, who refused to make fiscal decisions for political reasons-just like Dwight D. Eisenhower's in 1958, who had cooled off the economy and cost him, Richard Nixon was convinced, the 1960 presidential election. to boom in the run-up to the 1972 elections, no matter the longer-term consequences of the techniques it took to do it. The problem was cautious, fiscally conservative economic advisers such as Kennedy, who refused to make fiscal decisions for political reasons-just like Dwight D. Eisenhower's in 1958, who had cooled off the economy and cost him, Richard Nixon was convinced, the 1960 presidential election.

Then, that mid-November day in 1970, along came John Connally, making utterly mercenary political arguments about executive organization. Nixon fell in love. He asked Connally the next morning if he would like a job in the administration. There were only two jobs worth having, the Texan responded: secretary of state and secretary of the treasury.

b.a.l.l.s of a bra.s.s monkey!

Two weeks later Nixon closed his ears to the howls of George Bush, who had just been beaten by a Connally protege for Senate, and offered Connally the treasury job. On Air Force One, Nixon instructed Haldeman on how to beg him to accept: "Say that 'I hope and pray you won't turn him down.'...'You're the best man in the country that he could have as his adviser in national and international affairs. He feels you're the only man in the Democratic Party that could be president.'"

One of the things that delighted Nixon was that Connally had no fixed ideology. In fact, he boasted that he had no fixed convictions about anything: "I can play it round or I can play it flat, just tell me how to play it" was one of his nostrums-paraphrasing the apocryphal applicant for a job as a rural science teacher, asked about his convictions on the shape of the earth. Nixon's other economic advisers had only mocked the Democratic Congress's 1970 grandstand play in granting the president power to install wage-and-price controls. Richard Nixon inst.i.tuting controls was unimaginable, his informal adviser Milton Friedman wrote in a Newsweek Newsweek column in July of 1971, because he was a leader of "vision and courage"-not an economic demagogue. Connally had a different view: "If the legislature wants to give you a new power-you take it. Put it in the corner like an old shotgun. You never know when you might need it." column in July of 1971, because he was a leader of "vision and courage"-not an economic demagogue. Connally had a different view: "If the legislature wants to give you a new power-you take it. Put it in the corner like an old shotgun. You never know when you might need it."

Nixon could have tamped down inflation in other ways in the summer of 1971: under the Taft-Hartley act, enjoin inflationary strikes as a threat to national security; or short of that, spend political capital jawboning less inflationary settlements. But that conflicted with another of his schemes to build a New Majority: seducing union members into the Republican Party. He had decided July 21 in a meeting with Chuck Colson, the point man for the "blue-collar strategy," that labor might be "shortsighted, partisan," and "hate Nixon personally," but in the wars to come, he needed them inside the tent p.i.s.sing out. "When you have to call on the nation to be strong-on such things as drugs, crime, defense, and our basic national position-the educated people and the leader cla.s.s no longer have any character, and you can't count on them." Colson explained the bottom line in a subsequent memo: "The President, regardless of what the business community urges, what the polls show, or what the Republican orthodoxy would indicate, is not going to do anything that undermines the working man's economic status."

Instead he would do what Connally had been urging him: he would play it flat and inst.i.tute wage-and-price controls.

The deal was cemented in one of the most extraordinary conclaves in presidential history. Friday, Sat.u.r.day, and Sunday, August 13, 14, and 15, Nixon met around a table with his fifteen top economic advisers at the president's retreat, Camp David. He brought along Bill Safire, too, who until that weekend didn't know what a "gold window" was, but was needed for the weekend's most important priority: the speech the president would give Sunday night explaining to the nation what they had just done. Herb Stein of the Council of Economic Advisers said he felt as if they'd been hired as scriptwriters for a TV special; the "image of action" was the important thing, the president explained at one of the meetings, which were quarterbacked by Connally. In two days, with all the relevant technical experts back in Was.h.i.+ngton, they inst.i.tuted the biggest blow to the doctrine of laissez-faire since the days of Franklin Delano Roosevelt: a ninety-day freeze on wages and prices. A 10 percent border tax on imports. A package of tax relief for businesses and individuals (repealing the 7 percent excise tax on new cars: nothing was more American than buying a new car). And something else that was astonis.h.i.+ng: unilaterally, without warning, Nixon sc.r.a.pped the foundation of the planet's monetary system: the convertibility of dollars into gold.

"The problem of a freeze," George Shultz complained at one of the meetings, was "how do you stop it when you start?" Whenever the president ended it, prices would immediately balloon. Nixon ordered them to sweep that problem under the rug. The important thing was the sales job. He had an election to win. "This'll put the Democrats in a h.e.l.l of a spot, this whole speech," he gloated to Haldeman the second morning of his economic summit, then went into the day's meetings, where Arthur Burns said closing the gold window was nuts: "Pravda would write that this was a sign of the collapse of capitalism." Nixon ignored his advice. "n.o.body asked," a historian observed, "what kind of monetary system he envisioned to replace the one now being interred, and n.o.body knew." Neither, whether j.a.pan and Europe would interpret it as a declaration of economic war. would write that this was a sign of the collapse of capitalism." Nixon ignored his advice. "n.o.body asked," a historian observed, "what kind of monetary system he envisioned to replace the one now being interred, and n.o.body knew." Neither, whether j.a.pan and Europe would interpret it as a declaration of economic war.

That night, a hot one, the president sat in front of a roaring fire in his lodge, giddy with an almost narcotic glow: control. control. "Let America never accept being second best," he told Haldeman, Ehrlichman, and Caspar Weinberger of the Office of Management and Budget, forgetting in the thrill of the moment that the ultimate purpose of the exercise was winning an election so he could teach Americans to accept exactly that. His only worry seemed to be preempting "Let America never accept being second best," he told Haldeman, Ehrlichman, and Caspar Weinberger of the Office of Management and Budget, forgetting in the thrill of the moment that the ultimate purpose of the exercise was winning an election so he could teach Americans to accept exactly that. His only worry seemed to be preempting Bonanza. Bonanza. But then he was providing an ample subst.i.tute, casting himself as the white-hatted TV cowboy, rescuing the good townspeople from desperadoes-the strangers from without that he successfully claimed were responsible for all their woes. But then he was providing an ample subst.i.tute, casting himself as the white-hatted TV cowboy, rescuing the good townspeople from desperadoes-the strangers from without that he successfully claimed were responsible for all their woes.

The speech began with a boast: "I have addressed the nation a number of times over the past years on the problems of ending a war. Because of the progress we have made toward achieving that goal, this Sunday evening is an appropriate time for us to turn our attention to the challenge of peace."

He continued, considering his belief that America only had two solid years of economic dominance left in her, with a lie: "America today has the best opportunity to achieve two of its greatest ideals: to bring about a full generation of peace, and to create a new prosperity without war."

He then explained how what he was about to announce-Executive Order No. 11615, "Providing for Stabilizing of Prices, Rents, Wages, and Salaries"-was an act of heroism for himself as well as for his listeners: "This not only requires bold leaders.h.i.+p ready to take bold action-it calls forth the greatness in a great people."

He then named the desperado they would slay together, with a hint of anti-Semitic code: "We must protect the dollar from the attacks of international money speculators...waging an all-out war on the American dollar. The strength of a nation's currency is based on the strength of that nation's economy-and the American economy is by far the strongest in the world."

(He knew the run on the dollar was actually a sign of the American economy's weakening vis-a-vis the rest of the world; knew the run on the dollar was actually a sign of the American economy's weakening vis-a-vis the rest of the world; they they didn't have to know that, could be made to understand instead that it was all because of insolent overseas Franklins, taking advantage of American innocence-and that the sheriff was back in town.) didn't have to know that, could be made to understand instead that it was all because of insolent overseas Franklins, taking advantage of American innocence-and that the sheriff was back in town.) "Accordingly I have directed the secretary of the treasury to take the action necessary to defend the dollar against the speculators. I have directed Secretary Connally to suspend temporarily the convertibility of the dollar into gold or other reserve a.s.sets, except in amounts and conditions determined to be...in the best interests of the United States."

He lied again, salving fears that a newly devalued currency would take money out of ordinary Americans' pockets: it would only, he a.s.sured them, hurt globe-trotting Franklins. "If you want to buy a foreign car or take a trip abroad, market conditions may cause your dollar to buy slightly less. But if you are among the overwhelming majority of Americans who buy American-made products in America, your dollar will be worth just as much tomorrow as it is today."

It was the Richard Nixon of the Checkers Speech, whose wife wore a respectable Republican cloth coat. It was Richard Nixon the jujitsu master, attacking by positioning America as the attacked-America had self-sacrificingly rescued j.a.pan and Europe from economic ruin after World War II, but "now that other nations are economically strong, the time has come for them to bear their share of the burden of defending freedom around the world." He concluded by the telling the story of the time "a man wrote in his diary: 'Many thinking people believe America has seen its best days.' That was written in 1775...the dawn of the most exciting era in the history of man." It was the Richard Nixon who asked if gold rust, what shall iron do?: if gold rust, what shall iron do?: "And today we hear echoes of those voices, preaching a gospel of gloom and defeat, saying the same thing: 'We have seen our best days.'" "And today we hear echoes of those voices, preaching a gospel of gloom and defeat, saying the same thing: 'We have seen our best days.'"

It was Richard Nixon, king of the squares, his wife knitting an American flag. "I say let Americans reply, 'Our best days lie ahead.'"

It worked. "Nixon Stuns Democrats," a Was.h.i.+ngton Post Was.h.i.+ngton Post headline read. The last White House poll before the speech showed only 27 percent of Americans hoped Nixon would be reelected. The next found 75 percent favored his new economic proposals: "In all the years I've been doing this business," the poll-taker said, "I've never seen anything this unanimous, unless it was Pearl Harbor." The stock market joined the unanimity: the Dow posted its biggest one-day point gain to date, 32.9 points-even as overseas markets tanked. headline read. The last White House poll before the speech showed only 27 percent of Americans hoped Nixon would be reelected. The next found 75 percent favored his new economic proposals: "In all the years I've been doing this business," the poll-taker said, "I've never seen anything this unanimous, unless it was Pearl Harbor." The stock market joined the unanimity: the Dow posted its biggest one-day point gain to date, 32.9 points-even as overseas markets tanked. Time Time once more rhapsodized about their favorite wave-surfer: "For the second time in two months, President Richard Nixon reversed his own and his party's policies with a swiftness and style that is virtually unmatched in modern American politics.... A firm show of leaders.h.i.+p was clearly needed in order to get the U.S. industrial machine running smoothly once more." Now Nixon was up six points over Muskie, a development once more rhapsodized about their favorite wave-surfer: "For the second time in two months, President Richard Nixon reversed his own and his party's policies with a swiftness and style that is virtually unmatched in modern American politics.... A firm show of leaders.h.i.+p was clearly needed in order to get the U.S. industrial machine running smoothly once more." Now Nixon was up six points over Muskie, a development Variety Variety didn't miss: "New Score Is Dow 32, Nixon 72." didn't miss: "New Score Is Dow 32, Nixon 72."

One of his only critics was the AFL-CIO's George Meany, who pointed out that the freeze could have been extended to dividends, interest, and profits as well, but was not: "Robin Hood in reverse, robbing the poor to pay for the rich." The only national politician with the backbone to join Meany was Senator George McGovern.

Nixon would attend to Meany by the by. Right now, he was busy raiding Meany's const.i.tuency. On August 17 he became the first president to address the Knights of Columbus's annual States Dinner, with a true-blue Silent Majority speech. Alongside his law-and-order attorney general and his Catholic transportation secretary, he declaimed, "The time has come for us to speak up for America.... When we talk about the character of a nation, we must never forget that the character depends upon the individual character of two hundred million Americans...it comes from the home; it comes from the churches; it comes from the great schools of this nation."

He sang hosannas to the great Catholic football heroes Vince Lombardi and Bronko Nagurski, and to Rose Mary Woods, who never missed ma.s.s during their travels in seventy nations: "She is a very fine secretary, but she also has very great character. She grew up in a family of modest income, a large family. She went to a Catholic school, a Catholic grammar school, a Catholic high school. Just looking at my secretary, and I think John Mitch.e.l.l and John Volpe will bear me out, if that is what Catholic education does, I am for more of it." Nixon got a two-minute standing ovation. It was code, brilliant code, designed to hack apart New York Democrats, just then debating the issue of government aid to parochial schools: "clearly this divides the Democrats who run the New York Times, New York Times," the Catholic Pat Buchanan advised, "from the Democrats who run for office in Queens and the North Bronx."



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