Chapter 47
SECOND YEAR STUDENTS WILL REQUIRE:
The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk
Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lockhart
Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart
Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart
Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart
Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart
Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart
Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart
Ryan had already explained that Lockhart was a fraud he had previously bought some books and shown them all the errors in them I mean it says he fought a ghost with a blasting curse? and cured a werewolf with some voodoo. which they have no cures unless it's in my shop so goodluck with that. there was messed up timelines that overlapped and just random bulls.h.i.+t I had compiled a complete list of things and was saving it. I wanted to see how bad this idiot could mess up cla.s.s and basically it gives me a free study period and I can just let Harry suffer we can do solo practices later I'm planning on teaching them all patronus this year and some of the darker curses like bone breakers and ribbon cutters gotta be one of my favorites each one of the kids had a good standing in hand to hand and could probably take on some adults and their dueling and fighting skills were tons better than all their peers Luna was practically untouchable unless you did something unorthodox Harry was a prodigy in combat with his fast reflexes and quick thinking he gave as good as he got. Daphne was dangerous and methodical with almost surgical precision you slip up once and you are screwed. we had to work a bit on Neville and Hermione. Neville was still working up his courage and getting used to his wand he wasn't allowed to duel until he had it mastered after a while of struggling to force magic out of his own wand a basic stunner now knocked someone out for a good hour if he wasn't carful he was too op. and Hermione just did things by the book which fails miserably. I'm planning on teaching them all some basic wand less and wordless spells mostly summoning and lumos and maybe stunning. the harder the spell is to use the greater the difficulty for wand less Luna is pretty good I've been teaching her since we were kids. tonks was meh she would be great if it wasn't for her tripping over things. anyway it was time for school shopping. They stopped by gringotts then strolled off along the winding, cobbled street. The bag of gold, silver, and bronze jangling cheerfully in everyones pocket was clamoring to be spent, so they bought ice creams, which they slurped happily as they wandered up the alley, examining the fascinating shop windows. Harry gazed longingly at a full set of Seeker robes in the windows of Quality Quidditch Supplies until Hermione dragged them off to buy ink and parchment next door. In Gambol and j.a.pes Wizarding Joke Shop, they met Fred, George, and Lee Jordan, who were stocking up on Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous Wet Start, No Heat Fireworks, and in a tiny junk shop full of broken wands, lopsided bra.s.s scales, and old cloaks covered in potion stains they found Percy, deeply immersed in a small and deeply boring book called Prefects Who Gained Power. "A study of Hogwarts prefects and their later careers," Fred read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating…"
"Go away," Percy snapped.
"'Course, he's very ambitious, Percy, he's got it all planned out… he wants to be Minister of Magic…" George told them in an undertone as they left Percy to it. An hour later, they headed for Flourish and Blotts. They were by no means the only ones making their way to the bookshop. As they approached it, they saw to their surprise a large crowd jostling outside the doors, trying to get in. The reason for this was proclaimed by a large banner stretched cross the upper windows:
GILDEROY LOCKHART
will be signing copies of his autobiography
MAGICAL ME
today 12.30—4.30
The crowd seemed to be made up mostly of witches around Mrs. Weasley's age. a milf harem was fed on this day Ryan inwardly thought. A hara.s.sed looking wizard stood at the
Gilderoy Lockhart came slowly into view, seated at a table surrounded by large pictures of his own face, all winking and flas.h.i.+ng dazzlingly white teeth at the crowd. The real Lockhart was wearing robes of forget me not blue that exactly matched his eyes; his pointed wizard's hat was set at a jaunty angle on his wavy hair. No we can't have this now can we Ryan thought. He pulled out one of his signature rock cakes and was just about to yeet it at the man but was stopped by his friends what traitors killing all the fun. He sadly whispered "next time my love." and gently kissed it before returning it back into his inventory for the next opportunity. Harry looked quite amused and the girls looked quite jealous at the rock cake. must be p.u.b.erty. women are scary. A short, irritable looking man was dancing around taking photographs with a large black camera that emitted puffs of purple smoke with every blinding flash.
"Out of the way, there," he snarled at Harry, moving back to get a better shot. "This is for the Daily Prophet—"
Gilderoy Lockhart heard him. He looked up. He saw Harry. He stared. Then he leapt to his feet and positively shouted, "It can't be Harry Potter?"The crowd parted, whispering excitedly; Lockhart dived forward, seized Harry's arm as his so called friends abandoned him to his fate, and pulled him to the front. The crowd burst into applause. Harry's face burned as Lockhart shook his hand for the photographer, who was clicking away madly, wafting thick smoke over the Weasleys. All of the sudden Ryan did something he always wanted to do. he inhaled a deep breath and at the top of his lungs yelled 2 words that devolved everything into silence. "STRANGER DANGER" he screamed pointing at Gilderoy in fear and yelling "That strange uncle is trying to kidnap that boy quick call the aurors!" Gilderoy had taken critical damage being called both a pedo and a strange uncle he practically was vomiting blood. Harry and the weasley twins lost it. the crowd started yelling and shouting the girls were giggling Mrs. Weasley was giving Ryan a glare. Gilderoy tried to calm the situation down after a quick glance at Ryan."Ladies and gentlemen," he said loudly, waving for quiet. "What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time!"
"When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography—which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge—" The crowd applauded again. "He had no idea," Lockhart continued, giving Harry a little shake as he was still laughing, "that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"The crowd cheered and clapped and Harry found himself being presented with the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart. Staggering slightly under their weight, he managed to make his way out of the limelight to the edge of the room, where Ginny was standing next to her new cauldron.
"You have these," Harry mumbled to her, tipping the books into the cauldron. "I'll buy my own—" Ryan and Fred were making kissing noises at them. much to their embarrasment. "Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" said a voice Harry had no trouble recognizing. He straightened up and found himself face to face with Draco Malfoy, who was wearing his usual sneer.
"Famous Harry Potter," said Malfoy. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."
"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" said Ginny. She was glaring at Malfoy "Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" drawled Malfoy. Ginny went scarlet as Ryans group had fought their way over, clutching stacks of Lockhart's books.
"Oh, it's you," said Ryan, looking at Malfoy as if he were something unpleasant on the sole of his shoe. "Bet you're surprised to see Harry with his future wife now you can't try to woo him anymore, eh?" "What do you mean woo him I'm not a poofter," screamed Malfoy. "Could have fooled me slicked back hair that probably takes more time than a woman's hair to do spoiled princess personality constantly followed behind by two big boys."
Malfoy went red.. Ryan dropped his books into the cauldron, too, and started toward Malfoy, but Harry and Hermione grabbed the back of his jacket.
"Ryan!" said Mr. Weasley, struggling over with Fred and George. "What are you doing? It's too crowded in here, let's go outside.""Well, well, well—Arthur Weasley."
It was Mr. Malfoy. He stood with his hand on Draco's shoulder, sneering in just the same way.
"Lucius," said Mr. Weasley, nodding coldly. It's just like the novels insult the little young master and the daddy comes out to play. "Busy time at the Ministry, I hear," said Mr. Malfoy. "All those raids… I hope they're paying you overtime?"
He reached into Ginny's cauldron and extracted, from amid the glossy Lockhart books, a very old, very battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration. Even if Ryan had given them vouchers some habits are often kept to save money."Obviously not," Mr. Malfoy said. "Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"
Mr Weasley flushed darker than Ginny.
"We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy," he said.
"Clearly," said Mr. Malfoy, his pale eyes straying to Mr. and Mrs. Granger, who were watching apprehensively. "The company you keep, Weasley… and I thought your family could sink no lower—" There was a thud of metal as Ginny's cauldron went flying; Mr. Weasley had thrown himself at Mr. Malfoy, knocking him backward into a bookshelf. Dozens of heavy spellbooks came thundering down on all their heads; there was a yell of, "Get him, Dad!" from Fred or George; Mrs. Weasley was shrieking, "No, Arthur, no!"; the crowd stampeded backward, knocking more shelves over; Ryan had sucker punched malfoy in the face with a satisfying crunch his nose broke it was pandemonium Ryan always wanted to join a good scuffle."Gentlemen, please—please!" cried the a.s.sistant, and then, louder than all—
"Break it up, there, gents, break it up—"
Hagrid was wading toward them through the sea of books. In an instant he had pulled Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy apart. Mr. Weasley had a cut lip and Mr. Malfoy had been hit in the eye by an Encyclopedia of Toadstools. He was still holding Ginny's old Transfiguration book. He thrust it at her, his eyes glittering with malice.
"Here, girl—take your book—it's the best your father can give you—" Pulling himself out of Hagrid's grip he beckoned to Draco whose nose was bleeding and swept from the shop.Yeh should've ignored him, Arthur," said Hagrid, almost lifting Mr. Weasley off his feet as he straightened his robes. "Rotten ter the core, the whole family, everyone knows that—no Malfoy's worth listenin' ter—bad blood, that's what it is—come on now—let's get outta here."
The a.s.sistant looked as though he wanted to stop them leaving, but he barely came up to Hagrid's waist and seemed to think better of it. They hurried up the street, Mrs. Weasley beside herself with fury. "A fine example to set for your children… brawling in public… what Gilderoy Lockhart must've thought…"
"He was pleased," said Fred. "Didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that bloke from the Daily Prophet if he'd be able to work the fight into his report—said it was all publicity—" Ryan had sneakily s.n.a.t.c.hed riddles diary from Ginny's cauldron by offering to help carry it for her. it was a subdued group that headed back to the fireside in the Leaky Cauldron, where the group and all their shopping would be traveling back using Floo powder. They said good bye to the Grangers, who were leaving the pub for the Muggle street on the other side; Mr. Weasley started to ask them how bus stops worked, but stopped quickly at the look on Mrs. Weasley's face. Back at home Harry and Ryan were laughing with the girls about malfoy messed up face and the stranger danger prank Ryan had told them every time they see Lockhart to call him strange uncle and wonder how long it takes for him to break. they all agreed except Hermione who didn't want to do that to a professor.