Chapter 23
It was like the entire household had held its breath, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As if in a tacit agreement, the incidents of that day were never mentioned again – not even whispered between boiling chickens or cleaning equipments.
Once their carriage had arrived at the house's front door, Sam had jumped down and locked herself on her room, barely talking or seeing anyone besides Ah Mei, that kept updating and coaxing her even when not asked.
Qing Shan, for her time, seemed to be in a daze. Different from what Sam had expected, her sister didn't try and talk or reprimand her for her carelessness. She still kept up with the house's ch.o.r.es, but, as Sam and Ah Mei had seen, apart from what was strictly necessary, Qing Shan would usually be found wandering aimlessly through the gardens, her gaze lost as her mind travelled to places unknown.
After a particularly bad morning, when Qing Shan had answered the same thing for three different questions, Sam had decided to go looking for her wayward brother. Until that moment, she had been avoiding going even near his courtyard, fearing his response at seeing her after everything.
Her worries, however, turned out to be necessary. As a very worried Ye Qi had informed her when she tried sneaking into his quarters, Fei Hong had locked himself up on his study and refused to go out or meet anyone.
Not even her.
It was also the first time in a while no-one from General He's camp had come into the manor with instructions or paperwork for him to deal with.
"History repeats itself: first as tragedy, second as farce" she mused once, as she sat on her writing desk, eyes locked on a particularly blurred page of one of the books she had found on the volt, as if trying to will the words to make sense.
"Miss?" Ah Mei had asked, looking up from preparing her night routine "Did you say something?".
Instead of answering right away, Sam had only sighed, letting her fingers hover over an ink blotch on the yellow page.
'Stay away from the Crown Prince... Or next time, I'll make sure you won't be so fortunate as to see another day…' Tong Zhi Ruo's words sounded as clear as if the girl was standing right at her side.
If she considered Crown Prince's behavior when she had b.u.mped onto him on the street... Well, the picture was very easily drawn.
"Ah, Ah Mei...?" she called, sending the girl a tired look "Am I destined to relive her mistakes? Is history really fated to repeat itself?". Sam thought it would be almost funny... If that didn't mean a crazy girl had attached a target on her forehead.
"Her?" Ah Mei mumbled, before brus.h.i.+ng the weird word choices to the side "Miss... My mother used to say Heavens will do good for good people. It is our karma when it will happen, but is our choice if they ever will" she said slowly, sending her a rea.s.suring smile "Miss... You are also a good person. The heavens will not forget it."
Sam didn't say anything – she didn't feel like she was able too. Instead, she did the only thing she could: got up and walked straight to the young girl, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Before Ah Mei had time to say anything else, Sam had already pushed her up and enveloped her small frame on a tight embrace.
"Thank you" she whispered, hoping the younger woman would be able to understand, on those two words, everything she wasn't able to say out loud.
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On that night, as Ah Mei was helping her get ready for bed – a practice Sam was not yet entirely comfortable with – she was reading once again over what was becoming her journal, where she would register everything she knew, everything she thought was important and, most of all, everything she still needed to figure out.
One thing in particular, had been nagging at the back of her head for a time now: the situation with the Jiang servants. had another entirely different thing occupying her mind.
Apart from Ah Mei, Zi Zhu, Ye Qi, and a few higher graded members of the staff, it seemed like all the others where afraid of her. Even now, they would still whisper, avoid her path or even apologize in an almost desperate way every time something didn't go precisely as it should've.
What was more, Sam had overheard some of them talking about poor Li Qi's fate, and how unfortunate was for the girls that had been a.s.signed to her courtyard to still be there.
It was easy, once she had a target, to discover that Li Qi ha been her previous Personal Maid. But about what happened to her, Sam didn't have a clue.
"Miss, are you all right?" Ah Mei asked in a worried voice as she delicately brushed Sam's long, damp hair "You look troubled."
"Hum... Actually, Ah Mei, I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now..." Sam begun tentatively, deciding to try her luck on the opportunity that had shown itself.
Just as she knew would happened, Ah Mei answered promptly.
"Miss, whatever it is miss wants to ask, you know this servant will answer truthfully".
"Oh, it is nothing that serious, really!" she a.s.sured her "It is just... Well, you said before that you were not my personal maid, and that you were just kind of filling in... Right?" Sam waited for the girl to contradict her, but as she just nodded slowly, seeming a bit confused with her choice of words, she went on "I've also noticed that Zi Zhu seems to be with Qing, eh, my sister since they were very young."
"That is right, miss" Ah Mei agreed "After the tragedy with Master Hao Chen back then, I hear she was one of the few Young Master Fei Hong was able to buy back when everything was explained".
"Hum... I see" Sam reached for a small essence bowl, beginning to rub it on her hair slowly "And, what about Li Qi, then...? Was she also lost on that occasion?"
Ah Mei's movements suddenly stopped, her face freezing completely.
"Ah Mei, what is it? Did I say something wrong?" Sam asked confusedly, turning to stare at her deathly-pale face "Hey... Ah Mei, why are you suddenly like this?".
"Xiaojie... This servant... This servant can't..." she gulped, working her fingers nervously around Sam's jade comb.
"Ah Mei... What is it that really happened to my maid? Please, just tell me!" she demanded with a hardened voice, barely able to listen over her heartbeat ringing on her ears "Ah Mei!".
"XiaoJie... She... She is dead."
"What...?" Sam repeated, suddenly feeling out of balance "But... But what...? Why...?" her head spun painfully, a thousand different scenarios rolling around her mind as she turned to look at Ah Mei, grabbing her hand in a tight grip "Please tell me what happened" she almost begged, not quite able to make sense of the sense of urgency she was feeling.
Ah Mei was silent for a few seconds, a battle clear on her dark, round eyes.
"Miss" she finally said, pain etched on her face "At that time... No one knows exactly what happened. They say the Nanny that had been raising you died on the fire, when Master Hao Chen was accused of treason... Since then, you had been with Li Qi, one of the new girls added to the staff. Things seemed good between you two until... U-until one night..."
"Yes? Until what happened that night?"
"That night... The maids say they heard noise of something breaking on miss's room... Everyone thought it was an a.s.sa.s.sin when Miss started to scream, but... But when the guards and the rest of the staff arrived" she stopped once more, taking a deep breath "Miss said the girl had broken a very important jade peace... The last from your mother's dowry. Miss sentenced her to be stricken fifty times".
All blood left Sam's body, draining through the floor like water running between her fingers. The whistle on her ears became louder.
"What else?" she asked on a barely audible whisper "What else did I do?"
"Miss..." Ah Mei fidgeted "When her family came to pick the body... Miss overheard they
"Did... Did I kill them all?" her voice was crocked, choking in a sob.
When Ah Mei kept silent, with her head bent low, Sam already knew the answer.
"All right, I understand" she said, eyes still closed "You may step down now".
"Miss..."
"Please, Ah Mei... Just go" she insisted, rising slowly and walking to her bed, never once looking back at the younger girl "I want to be alone."
It was just when she heard Ah Mei's steps disappearing outside, when she was sure none of her sibling's servants were anywhere near, that she finally let the tears fall, choking her breath on full-on sobs that rocketed her body painfully.
It was the first time she understood how brutal that world could truly be. And how unforgiving was the girl whose life she was now living.
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The morning begun quiet. Maybe a bit too quiet to her taste.
As she woke up, Sam begun to call for Ah Mei, expecting the girl to be right at the other side of the door with a soul of warm water, but as the doors opened, her face scrunched in a confused frown.
"Hum... Who are you?" she asked the young, tremulous girl with a slightly cracked voice "Where is Ah Mei? Why didn't she attend to me as usual?"
Without answering, the girl rushed to her dressing table, placing the bowl over the wooden surface and rus.h.i.+ng back out as if Devil himself was hot on her hills.
"Hey!" Sam called "Hey, come back! I didn't..." she stopped, seeing as there was only a closed door to talk with her. Sighing, Sam got up and started her morning routine "Forget it" she mumbled to herself "The girl is probably busy being nosy somewhere else".
But, at the time another two different servant girls came in to help with her clothes and then bring her food inside, Sam couldn't pretend everything was normal anymore.
A very bad feeling was starting to bloom inside her stomach, making her movements nervous and her hands a bit shaky. Her suspicions were only confirmed when she tried going out and Ye Qi showed up in the middle of her yard's arch entrance, efficiently preventing her from going outside.
"Ye Qi, what is it?" she demanded "What is happening here?!"
"Miss, I have orders to not let you get out of the Yard for today" he explained in a low, emotionless voice "Miss, if you could please not make things hard on this servant... Please, just go back inside."
Sam frowned. What was it now? Was she a prisoner on that house?!
"Who told you this? Was... Was it Fei Hong?" she asked, trying not to sound betrayed as she though about the man she was starting to view as an elder brother "Right. Let me talk to him! I'm sure there is some kind of misunderstanding..."
"Miss" he repeated, putting himself once more on her way as she tried to walk around him. "Please, I can't let you leave today. I can't defy Master Shu's orders!"
That name finally gave her pause. Master Shu... Jiang Wan Shu... Wasn't he...?
"Since when has uncle returned from the palace?" she asked Ye Qi.
"He is just arrived miss, not even an half hour ago" the aide explained with unease "Now, please miss... If you could..."
"All right, all right! I will go back" she a.s.sured him, already out of patience "But first tell me where Ah Mei is... I need her help with some things".
Instead of answering, or a.s.suring her he would call for the girl in a second, Ye Qi just averted his gaze, hands clenching and unclenching nervously.
The bad feeling Sam had been experiencing only grew, a new suspicion forming on her head.
"Ye Qi... Why is my uncle back from the Palace?" she demanded "What does he want?"
When the young man didn't answer once again, Sam's head finally went on overload. Thinking quickly as not to let him oversee her intentions, she walked closer to the entrance, an worried expression etched on her face. Just as he was about to ask her again to go back, Sam kneeled him between his legs.
Stunned, Ye Qi had just enough force to hold to the walls not to Fallon his need and call for help as the young miss rushed out of the CourtYard, running through the household's corridors like a crazed horse.
'It is even worse than that first day' Sam thought to herself, feeling slightly out of breath as she finally overheard a commotion coming from what she remembered being the main hall.
Without even thinking, she rushed on that direction, storming inside with her hair in disarray and completely out of breath, but the scene she encountered felt so surreal to her disbelieving eyes she almost fell to her knees in shock.
In the middle of the room, sprawled on what looked like a wooden table, Ah Mei Had been strapped down, blood tainting her face, arms and clothes as two strong soldiers held what looked like wood canes, ready to beat her down.
"No" she whispered, stumbling a step forward as her mind fought to understand what she was seeing "No... No! Get away from her... Get away from her!" she shouted suddenly, running on the direction of Ah Mai, tears already flowing freely down her cheeks.
Out of nowhere, two strong arms circled her middle, effectively hindering any way she had to go forward.
"Stop it! Let me go!" she kept screaming "Let go of me! Ah Mei! Ah Mei!" she called, desperation clear on her chocked voice "Why are you doing it? Let her go!" Sam screamed, her blurry eyes turning to her Uncle's figure, calmly sat at the farthest side of the room, behind a beautifully carved small table with gold and jade carvings.
"Ah Ying, stop this" Fei Hong's voice sounded close to her ears "Ah Ying, stop! You are only making it worse! STOP!" he said forcefully, turning her to look at him, his eyes sparkling with emotions she couldn't hear "Stop" he repeated.
Instead of obeying, though, she only shook her head, not caring for the low sobs still escaping her lips.
"Why are you doing this?" she repeated in a small voice "Please, this... This is monstrous! You can't do it to a human being... Please Hong'er! Please let her go!"
Completely stunned by her words, by how familiar they sounded to his ears, Fei Hong's grip faltered, his balance loosening as he tried to control the sudden urge to hug her close to him and promise to do anything she asked for.
Noticing his change of demeanor, Sam dashed once more, running for Ah Mei. She had almost reached the first man with the stick when her uncle's voice, one she had herd only a few times, resonated trough the large walls.
"Go back to your room, Ying Yue" he said in a calm tone "You should not be here".
Sam turned to face him, hands trembling.
"Uncle... Uncle... Please" she begged "Please don't do this..."
Instead of answering, he raised his eyes to hers, the deep black on w.a.n.g She's irises looking as cold as the icy surface of a river on the middle of the winter.
"The roads now are bustling with gossip" he begun slowly, both hands crossed over the table "Everyone is talking about the Jiang girl who wants to be Queen."
Sam froze, all rational thoughts vanis.h.i.+ng from her mind at the possible implications of that phrase.
"This... This... I, I didn't know..." she mumbled, stumbling a few steps in the direction of her uncle without noticing "I didn't know... It was not my intention, I...".
"I doesn't matter the truths that lie in our hearts" w.a.n.g Shu cut her, with an old, bitter edge to his voice "This words have reached the Palace... Our Jiang Family can hardly answer for them."
"But... But I don't want to be Queen!" Sam insisted "I don't even remember him! It was an accident!" she stopped, her mind spinning trying to find a way out "If... If you only let me go and speak to the K..."
"Preposterous!" a man that kept to the side exclaimed, his clothes denouncing him to be a palace eunuch "Does this child even know her place, Head Astronomer Shu?" he sneered to w.a.n.g Shu, snake-like eyes s.h.i.+ning dangerously on Sam's direction.
Fei Hong suddenly put himself in front on her, as if s.h.i.+elding her frightened figure from the venom of the old, curved man.
"Head Eunuch Guang, my sister is just a bit sensitive, please forgive her" he said, the hardened tone of his voice contradicting he humble request on his words.
"Fei Hong, that's enough" his uncle said with a tired tone "I'm sorry if my nephews words offended you Eunuch Guang.".
The man just humphed, shaking his sleeves as he turned to leave "I'm sure you will consider Your Majesty's expectation's concerning this case" he provoked "I will take my leave and inform His Majesty you are already... Cleaning up the trash.".
Once he had disappeared from view, w.a.n.g Shu's tight face turned once more to the two man caring on the punishment "You may continue."
"No!" Sam screamed, trying to free herself from her brother's hands again "It was not her fault! it was mine! I was the one to force her to go, she didn't want to! Uncle!"
"You're right." w.a.n.g Shu suddenly agreed, catching her off guard "It was your fault..." he continued, asking the imperial guards to wait with a sign of his hand, eyes completely serious as they burrowed on Sam's ones "But every time you do a wrong, it is her to take the guilt... Do you know why?"
"Uncle, please, maybe we..."
"You" he interrupted Qing Shan "Don't have the right to intervene. As the Eldest Miss of this Household, you should've known better than to offend the Prime Minister's daughter."
The older girl frowned at those words, walking closer to him with frustrating written all over her face.
"But, uncle, it was our Jiang's honor! Surely you didn't expect me to..."
"Jiang's honor?" he echoed, laughing bitterly at the words "What is the Jiang's honor compared to the Tong family? Don't you know your place yet?!"
Qing Shan only stared at him, completely unable to say anything as the words sunk deeply on her mind, taking all the blood from her veins.
"Miss!" Zi Zhu called, supporting her by the arm as Qing Shan looked about to collapse.
"Beat her" Uncle Shu said sternly, ignoring his nieces "Twenty strokes".
"Uncle" Sam implored, finally freeing herself from Fei Hong's grasp and running to him, falling at his knees while tugging at his robes desperately "Uncle, please! it was me! It was really all me! she didn't know better! Please!"
"What are you waiting for?" he ignored her, looking sternly at two of their guards "Begin!"
"Uncle, please!" Sam insisted "It was me! It should be me!"
All the while, as the two man went on, Sam's cries and pleading voice mingled with Ah Mei's screams of pain, that slowly turning into soft moans until she completely lost couscousness from the pain.
"Uncle" Fei Hong begun hesitantly "Please... The girl is already unconscious... She can't take much more".
Sam looked up suddenly, her words stopping as she looked back at her maid, lying motionless atop the wood table.
"Ah Mei... " she called, her voice raspy from all the talk and crying "Ah Mei" she stumbled, fighting to get up on her two feet.
Watching her closely as she run to the maid's side, falling to her knees as she took her hand on hers, w.a.n.g Shu slowly held up a hand, indicating for the man to stop and retreat back to the outside.
"Uncle" Fei Hong said as he got up, worry lacing his voice "Ah Ying, she... She didn't..."
The uncle only held up a hand, instantly silencing him as he walked ahead with silent steps, only stopping she he was beside his niece, close enough to feel the strong stench of blood permeating the air.
"You know why it'll always be her?" he asked her prostrated figure, his voice sounding detached of any emotion "Because she is Li Mei, a servant girl, and you are Jiang Ying Yue, the Jiang's youngest miss. Because even if she didn't know better, you should have. Because it was not her duty to know. It was yours. And when someone higher makes a mistake, it is always those below that pay the price".
And, with those words, Jiang w.a.n.g Shu turned his back and slowly made his way to the carriage waiting outside of the house and back to the palace.
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Sam didn't know what happened after Uncle Shu had left. Her mind had completely shut down at his words, guilt and sadness revolving around each other as the strong smell of blood and tears turned her stomach into a not.
It didn't matter how much she cried, how much she called. Ah Mei was not waking up. Why was she not waking? She didn't know anymore what was happening.
"I think she is in shock" Sam though she heard Fei Hong's worried voice, but at that point, it didn't really matter, did it?
She had never in her life harmed anyone. Not even on pointless fights at school. She never beat or verbally abuse anyone. And now... Now, that girl, a girl that had been nothing but kind to her since the beginning, the one always following her around, was barely breathing. And it was because of her.
Her fault. Not Ying Yue's. Not the circ.u.mstances. It had been her – Sam. Her fault.
"It is my fault" she whispered "My fault... Ah Mei... it was my fault" she kept repeating desperately, until suddenly everything was too much.
The people watching, the smell, the servants calling for a doctor... She couldn't stand it anymore. That was not the place for her. Without even thinking where she was going, Sam simple got up and run.
"Yue'er!" Qing Shan called, but Fei Hong's hand stopped her before she could go after their sister.
"Let her be" he said, his voice tight with emotion "Let her absorb what happened. Let her understand". With a deep sigh, he motioned with his head for Ye Qi to keep an eye on her from afar, at the same time as he instructed no-one to obstruct her way.
"Let her go where she needs to go"