Chapter 11
Cato did not utter the phrase "Victrix causa diis placuit, sed victa Catoni," with more resolution than that with which I answered:
"Never!"
"Oho! you will never drink wine? We shall see how you keep your word in the course of time!"
And that is why I kept my word. Till to-day I have never touched wine.
Probably that first fit of obstinacy caused my determination; in a word, slighted in the first gla.s.s, I never touched again any kind of pressed, distilled, or burnt beverage. So perhaps my house lost in me an after-dinner celebrity.
"Don't be ashamed, nephew," encouragingly continued my uncle; "this wine is allowed to the young also, if they dip choice Pressburg biscuits in it; it is a very celebrated biscuit, prepared by M. Fromm."
My blood rose to my cheeks. M. Fromm! My host! Immediately the conversation will turn upon him, and they will mention that I am living with him; furthermore, they will relate that he has a little pug-nosed daughter, that they are going to exchange me with her. I should sink beneath the earth for very shame before my cousin Melanie! And surely, one has only to fear something and it will indeed come to pa.s.s.
Grandmother was thoughtless enough to discover immediately what I wished to conceal, with these words:
"Desiderius is going to live with that very man."
"Ha ha!" laughed uncle, in high humor (his laughter penetrated my very marrow). "With the celebrated 'Zwieback'[20] baker! Why, he can teach my nephew to bake Pressburg biscuits."
[Footnote 20: Biscuit.]
How I was scalded and reduced to nothing, how I blushed before Melanie!
The idea of my learning to bake biscuits from M. Fromm! I should never be able to wash myself clean of that suspicion.
In my despair I found myself looking at Lorand. He also was looking at me. His gaze has remained lividly imprinted in my memory. I understood what he said with his eyes. He called me coward, miserable, and sensitive, for allowing the jests of great men to bring blushes to my cheeks. He was a democrat always!
When he saw that I was blus.h.i.+ng, he turned obstinately toward Balnokhazy, to reply for me.
But I was not the only one who read his thoughts in his eyes; another also read therein, and before he could have spoken, my beautiful aunt took the words out of his mouth, and with lofty dignity replied to her husband:
"Methinks the baker is just as good a man as the privy councillor."
I s.h.i.+vered at the bold statement. I imagined that for these words the whole company would be arrested and thrown into prison.
Balnokhazy, with smiling tenderness, bent down to his wife's hand and, kissing it, said:
"As a man, truly, just as good a man; but as a baker, a better baker than I."
Now it was Lorand's turn to crimson. He riveted his eyes upon my aunt's face.
My right honorable uncle hastened immediately to close the rencontre with a vanquis.h.i.+ng kiss upon my aunt's snow-white hand, a fact which convinced me that their mutual love was endless. In general, I behaved with remarkable respect toward that great relation of ours, who lived in such beautiful apartments, and whose t.i.tles would not be contained in three lines.
I was completely persuaded that Balnokhazy, my uncle, had few superiors in celebrity in the world, for personal beauty (except, perhaps, my brother Lorand) none; his wife was the most beautiful and happiest woman under the sun; and my cousin Melanie such an angel that, if she did not raise me up to heaven, I should surely never reach those climes.
And if some one had said to me then, "Let us begin at the beginning; that rich hair on Balnokhazy's head is but a wig," I should have demanded pardon for interrupting: I can find nothing of the least importance to say against the wearing of wigs. They are worn by those who have need of them; by those whose heads would be cold without them, who catch rheumatism easily with uncovered head. Finally, it is nought else but a head-covering for one of aesthetic tastes; a cap made of hair.
This is all true,
Even if some one had said that this showy wealth, which indicated a n.o.ble affluence, was also such a mere wig as the other, covering the baldness of his riches; if some one had said that these hand-kissing companions, in whose every word was melody when they spoke the one to the other, that they did not love, but hated and despised one another; if some one had said that this lovely, ideal angel of mine even--but no farther, not so much at once!
At the end of dinner our n.o.ble relations were so gracious as to permit my cousin Melanie to play the piano before us. She was only eight years old as yet, still she could play as beautifully as other girls of nine years.
I had very rarely heard a piano; at home mother played sometimes, though she did not much care for it. Lorand merely murdered the scales, which was not at all entertaining for me.
My cousin Melanie executed opera selections, and a French quadrille which excited my extremest admiration. My beautiful aunt laid stress upon the fact that she had only studied two years. A very intricate plan began to develop within me.
Melanie played the piano, I the violin. Nothing could be more natural than that I should come here with my violin to play an obligato to Melanie's piano; and if afterward we played violin and piano together perseveringly for eight or nine years, it would be impossible that we should not in the end reach the goal of life on that road.
In consequence I strove to display my usefulness by turning over the leaves of the music for her; and my pride was greatly hurt by the fact that my n.o.ble relations did not ask grandmother how I understood how to read music. Finally the end came to this, as to every good thing; my cousin Melanie was not quite "up" in the remaining pieces, though I would have listened even to half-learned pieces, but my grandmother was getting ready to return to the Fromms'. The Balnokhazys asked her to spend the night with them, but she replied that she had been there before, and that I was there too; and she would remain with the younger.
I detested myself so for the idea that I was a drag upon my good grandmother; why, I ought to have kissed the dust upon her feet for those words:
"I shall remain with the younger." My brother I envied, who for his part was "at home" with the P. C.
When I kissed my relations' hands at parting, Balnokhazy thrust a silver dollar[21] into my hand, adding with magnificent munificence:
[Footnote 21: Thaler.]
"For a little poppy-cake, you know."
Why, it is true, that in Pressburg very fine poppy-biscuits are made; and it is also true, that many poppy-goodies might be bought, a few at a time, for a dollar; likewise I cannot deny that so much money had never been in my hand, as my very own, to spend as I liked. I would not have exchanged it for two other dollars, if it had not been given me before Melanie. I felt that it degraded me in her eyes. I could not discover what to do with that dollar. I scarce dared to look at Melanie when he departed; still I remarked that she did not look at me either when I left.
At the door Lorand seized my hand.
"Desi," said he severely, "that thing that the P. C. thrust into your hand you must give to the butler, when he opens the carriage door."
I liked the idea. By that they would know who I was; and my eyes would no longer be downcast before cousin Melanie.
But, when I thrust the dollar into the butler's hand, I was so embarra.s.sed by his matter-of-fact grandeur that any one who had seen us might have thought the butler had presented me with something. I hoped uncle would not exclude me from his house for that.
Long did that quadrille sound in my ears; long did that phenomenon-pianist haunt me; how long I cannot tell!
She was the standard of my ambition, the prize of a long race, which must be won. In my imagination the whole world thronged before her. I saw the roads by which one might reach her.
I too wished to be a man like them. I would learn diligently; I would be the first "eminence" in the school, my teacher would take pride in me, and would say at the public examination: "This will be a great man some day." I would pa.s.s my barrister's exams, with distinction; would serve my time under a sheriff; would court the acquaintance of great men of distinction; would win their favor by my gentle, humble conduct; I would be ready to serve; any work intrusted to me I would punctually perform; would not mix in evil company; would make my talent s.h.i.+ne; would write odes of encomium, panegyrics, on occasions of note; till finally, I should myself, like my uncle, become "secretarius," "a.s.sessor,"
"septemvir," and "consiliarius."
Ha, ha, ha!
When we returned to Master Fromm's, the delicate attention of little Miss Pugnose was indeed burdensome. She would prattle all kinds of nonsense. She asked of what the fine dinner consisted; whether it was true that the daughter of the "consiliarius" had a doll that danced, played the guitar, and nodded its head. Ridiculous! As if people of such an age as Melanie and I interested themselves in dolls! I told Henrik to interpret this to her; I observed that it put her in a bad temper, and rejoiced that I had got rid of her.
I remarked that I must go and study, and the lesson was long. So I went to my room and began to study. Two hours later I observed that nothing of what I had learnt remained in my head; every place was full of that councillor's daughter.
In the evening we again a.s.sembled in Master Fromm's dining-room. f.a.n.n.y again sat next to me, was again in good humor, treating me as familiarly as if we had been the oldest acquaintances; I was already frightened of her. It would be dreadful for the Balnokhazys to suspect that one had a baker's daughter as an acquaintance, always ready to jump upon one's neck when she saw one.
Well, fortunately she would be taken away next day, and then would be far away, as long as I remained in the house; we should be like two opposite poles, that avoid each other.
Before bedtime grandmother came into the room once more. She gave me my effects, counted over my linen. She gave me pocket-money, promising to send me some every month with Lorand's.
"Then I beg you," she whispered in my ear, "take care of Lorand!"
Again that word!