Chapter 18
And in that idea there is much that is sublime. A picture of Christ in the mourning widow's chamber; a "mater dolorosa," in the distracted mother's home; a "kerchief" of the Holy Virgin, spotlessly white, like the glorious spirit, above the bed of olden times, are surely elevating, and honorable presences, the recollections which lead us to them are holy and imperishable, as is the devotion which bows the knee before them. But a repugnant sight is the home of the Pharisee, who surrounds himself with holy images that men may behold them.
Sarvolgyi allowed his guests to wait a long time, though they were, as it happened, not at all impatient.
Great ringing of bells announced his coming; this being a sign he was accustomed to give to the kitchen, that the dinner could be served. Soon he appeared.
He was a tall, dry man, of slight stature, and so small was his head that one could scarce believe it could serve for the same purposes as another man's. His smoothly shaven face did not betray his age; the skin of his cheeks was oil yellow, his mouth small, his shoulders rounded, his nose large, mal-formed and unpleasantly crooked.
He shook hands very cordially with his guests; he had long had the honor of the lawyer's acquaintance, but it was his supreme pleasure to see the magistrate to-day for the first time. But he was extremely courteous, not a feature of his countenance betraying any emotion.
The magistrate seemed determined not to say a word. So the brunt of the conversation fell on the lawyer.
"We have happily concluded the 'execution'."
That was naturally the most convenient topic for the commencement of the conversation.
"I am sorry enough that it had to be so," sighed Sarvolgyi. "Apart from the fact that Topandy is unceasingly persecuting me, I respect and like him very much. I only wish he would turn over a new leaf. He would be an excellent fellow. I know I made a great mistake when I accused him out of mere self-love. I am sorry I did so. I ought to have followed the command of scripture, 'If he smite thee on thy right cheek, offer him thy left cheek also.'"
"Under such circ.u.mstances there would be very few criminal processes for the courts to consider."
"I confess I rejoiced this morning when the commission of execution arrived. I felt an inward happiness, due to the fact that this foe of mine had fallen, that he was trampled under my feet. I thought: he is now gnas.h.i.+ng his teeth and snapping at the heels of justice that stamp upon his head. And I was glad if it. Yet my gladness was sinful, for no one may rejoice at the destruction of the fallen, and the righteous cannot be glad at the danger of a fellow creature. It was a sin for which I must atone."
The simplest atonement, thought the lawyer, would be for him to return the amount of the fine.
"For this I have inflicted a punishment upon myself," said Sarvolgyi, piously bowing his head. "Oh, I have always punished myself for any misdemeanor, I now condemn myself to one day's fasting. My punishment will be, to sit here beside the table and watch the whole dinner, without touching anything myself."
It will be very fine! thought the lawyer. He is determined to fast, while we have taken our fill yonder. So we shall all look at the whole dinner, without tasting anything,--and Mistress Boris will sweep us out of the house.
"My friend the magistrate's head is doubtless aching after his great official fatigue!" Sarvolgyi said, hitting the nail right on the head.
"It is indeed true," remarked the lawyer a.s.suringly. The young official was in need rather of rest than of feasting. There are good, blessed mortals, whom two gla.s.ses of wine immediately send to sleep,
"My suggestion is," said the lawyer, "that it would be good for the magistrate to repose in an armchair and rest himself, until the cleaning of the cloister is finished, and we can again take our seats in the carriage."
"Sleep is the gift of Heaven," said the man of piety: "it would be a sin to steal it from a fellow-man. Kindly make yourself comfortable at once in this room."
It was an extremely difficult process to make oneself comfortable on that apology for an arm-chair; it seemed to have been prepared as a resting place for ascetics and body-torturers: still the magistrate sat down in it, craved pardon,--and fell asleep. And then he dreamed that he saw before him again that laid-out table, where one guest sat two yards from the other while all round holy pictures were hanging on the walls, with their faces turned away, as if they did not wish to gaze upon the scene. In the middle of the room there was hanging from the ceiling a heavy chandelier with twelve branches, and on it was swaying the host himself.
What a cursed foolery is a dream! The host was actually sitting there vis-a-vis with the lawyer, at the other end of the long table; for Mistress Boris had so laid the places. And as the magistrate's place remained empty, host and guest sat so far apart that the one was incapable of helping the other.
At last the door opened, with such a delicate creaking that the lawyer thought somebody was ringing to be admitted:--It was Mistress Boris bringing in the soup.
The lawyer was determined to make some sacrifice, in order to maintain the dignity of the "legale testimonium," by dining a second time. He thought himself capable of this heroic deed.
He was deceived.
There is a peculiarity of the Magyar which has not yet been the subject of song: his stomach will not stand certain things.
This a stranger cannot understand: it is a "specific.u.m."
When Vorosmarty sang that "in the great world outside there is no place for thee,"[37] he found it unnecessary to add the reason for that, which every man knows without his telling them:--"in every land abroad they cook with b.u.t.ter."
[Footnote 37: From the celebrated Szozat (appeal) calling on the Hungarian to be true to his fatherland.]
A Magyar stomach detests what is b.u.t.tery. He becomes melancholy and sickly from it; he runs away from the very mention of it, and if some sly housekeeper deceitfully gives him b.u.t.tery things to eat, all his life long he considers that as an attempt upon his life, and will never again sit down to such a poison-mixer's table.
You may place him where you like abroad, still he will long to return from the cursed b.u.t.ter-smelling world, and if he cannot he grows thin and fades away: and like the giraffe in the European climate, he cannot reproduce his kind in a foreign land. Roughly speaking, all his neighbors cook with b.u.t.ter, oil and dripping: and "be harsh or kind, the hand of fate, here thou must live, here die."[38]
[Footnote 38: Also from the "Szozat."]
The lawyer was a true Magyar of the first water. And when he perceived that the crab soup was made with b.u.t.ter, he put down his spoon beside his plate and said he could not eat crabs. Since he had learned that the crab was nought else but a beetle living in water, and since a company had been formed in Germany for making beetles into preserves for dessert, he had been unable to look with undismayed eye upon these retrograde monsters.
"Ach, take it away, Boris," sighed the host. He himself was not eating, for was he not atoning for his sins?
Mistress Boris removed the dish with an expression of violent anger.
Just imagine a housekeeper, whose every ambition is the kitchen, when her first dish is despatched away from the table without being touched.
The second dish--eggs stuffed with sardines--suffered the same fate.
The lawyer declared on his word of honor that they had buried his grandfather for tasting a dish of sardines, and that every female in the family immediately went into spasms from the smell of the same. He would rather eat a whale than a sardine.
"Take this away, too, Mistress Boris. No one will touch it." Mistress Boris began to mutter under her breath that it was absurd and affected to turn up one's nose at these respectable eatables, which were quite as good as those they had eaten in their grandfather's house. Her last words were rather drowned by the creaking of the door as she went out.
Then followed some kind of salad, with bread crumbs. The lawyer had in his university days received such a dangerous fever from eating such stuff, that it would indeed be a fatal enterprise to tackle it now.
This was too much for the housekeeper. She attacked Mr. Sarvolgyi:
"Didn't I tell you not to cook a fasting dinner? Didn't I say so? You think everyone is as devout as you are in keeping Friday? Now you have it. Now I am disgraced."
"It is part of the punishment I have inflicted on myself," answered Sarvolgyi, with humble acquiescence.
"The devil take your punishment; it is me that will come in for ridicule if they hear about it yonder. You become more of a fool every day."
"Say what is on your tongue, my good Boris; heaven will order you to do penance as well as me."
Mistress Boris slammed the door after her, and cried outside in bitter disappointment.
The lawyer swore to himself that he would eat whatever followed, even if it were poison.
It was worse: it was fish.
We have medical certificates to enable us to a.s.sert that whenever the lawyer ate fish he promptly had to go to bed. He was forced to say that if they chased him from the house with boiling water he could not venture to put his teeth into it.
Mistress Boris said nothing now. She actually kept silent. As we all know, the last stage but one of a woman's anger is when she is silent, and cannot utter a word. There is one stage more, which was imminent.
The lawyer thought the dinner was over, and with true sincerity begged Mistress Boris to prepare a little coffee for him and the magistrate.
Boris left the room without a word, placing the coffee machine before Sarvolgyi himself; he did not allow anyone else to make it, and occupied himself with the preparations till Mistress Boris came back.