Chapter 7
'But where?' she says hopelessly.
'I... don't know.' I cross my fingers behind my back. 'But I know it'll happen. I've got a really strong feeling about it.'
'Really?' She stares at me. 'You do?'
'Absolutely!' I think quickly for a moment. 'Look, here's an idea. Why don't you try... going to have lunch at a different place today. Somewhere completely different. And maybe you'll meet someone there.'
'You think?' She gazes at me. 'OK. I'll try it.'
She gives a gusty sigh, and we start walking along the pavement again. 'The only good thing about the weekend,' she adds as we reach the corner, 'is I finished making my new top. What do you think?'
She proudly takes off her jacket and does a twirl, and I stare at her for a few seconds, not quite sure what to say.
It's not that I don't like crochet...
OK. It is that I don't like crochet.
Especially pink scoop-neck open-weave crochet tops. You can actually see glimpses of her bra through it.
'It's... amazing,' I manage at last. 'Absolutely fantastic!'
'Isn't it great?' She gives me a pleased smile. 'And it was so quick to do! I'm going to make the matching skirt next.'
'That's great,' I say faintly. 'You're so clever.'
'Oh, it's nothing! I just enjoy it.'
She smiles modestly, and puts her jacket back on. 'So anyway, how about you?' she adds as we start to cross the road. 'Did you have a nice weekend? I bet you did. I bet Connor was completely wonderful and romantic. I bet he took you out for dinner or something.'
'Actually, he asked me to move in with him,' I say awkwardly.
'Really?' Katie gazes wistfully at me. 'G.o.d, Emma, you two make the perfect couple. You give me faith that it can happen. It all seems so easy for you.'
I can't help feeling a little flicker of pleasure inside. Me and Connor. The perfect couple. Role models for other people.
'It's not that easy,' I say with a modest little laugh. 'I mean, we argue, like anyone else.'
'Do you?' Katie looks surprised. 'I've never seen you argue.'
'Of course we do!'
I rack my brain for a moment, trying to remember the last time Connor and I had a fight. I mean, obviously we do have arguments. Loads of them. All couples do. It's only healthy.
Come on, this is silly. We must have- Yes. There was that time by the river when I thought those big white birds were geese and Connor thought they were swans. Exactly. We're normal. I knew it.
We're nearing the Panther building now, and as we walk up the pale stone steps, each with a granite panther jumping across it, I start feeling a bit nervous. Paul will want a full report on how the meeting went with Glen Oil.
What shall I say?
Well, obviously I'll be completely frank and honest. Without actually telling him the truth- 'Hey, look.' Katie's voice interrupts me and I follow her gaze. Through the gla.s.s front of the building I can see a commotion in the foyer. This isn't normal. What's going on?
G.o.d, has there been a fire, or something?
As Katie and I push our way through the heavy revolving gla.s.s doors, we look at each other in bewilderment. The whole place is in turmoil. People are scurrying about, someone's polis.h.i.+ng the bra.s.s banister, someone else is polis.h.i.+ng the fake plants, and Cyril, the senior office manager, is shooing people into lifts.
'Could you please go to your offices! We don't want you hanging around the reception area. You should all be at your desks by now.' He sounds completely stressed out. 'There's nothing to see down here! Please go to your desks.'
'What's happening?' I say to Dave the security guard, who's lounging against the wall with a cup of tea as usual. He takes a sip, swills it around his mouth and gives us a grin.
'Jack Harper's visiting.
'What?' We both gawp at him.
'Today?'
'Are you serious?'
In the world of the Panther Corporation, this is like saying the Pope's visiting. Or Father Christmas. Jack Harper is the joint founder of the Panther Corporation. He invented Panther Cola. I know this because I've typed out blurbs about him approximately a million times. 'It was 1987 when young, dynamic business partners Jack Harper and Pete Laidler bought up the ailing Zoot soft-drinks company, repackaged Zootacola as Panther Cola, invented the slogan "Don't Pause", and thus made marketing history.'
No wonder Cyril's in a tizz.
'In about five minutes.' Dave consults his watch. 'Give or take.'
'But... but how come?' says Katie. 'I mean, just out of the blue like this.'
Dave's eyes twinkle. He's obviously been telling people the news all morning and is thoroughly enjoying himself.
'He wants to have a look round the UK operation, apparently.'
'I thought he wasn't active in the business any more,' says Jane from Accounts, who's come up behind us in her coat and is listening, agog. 'I thought ever since Pete Laidler died he was all grief-stricken and reclusive. On his ranch, or whatever it is.'
'That was three years ago,' points out Katie. 'Maybe he's feeling better.'
'Maybe he wants to sell us off, more like,' says Jane darkly.
'Why would he do that?'
'You never know.'
'My theory,' says Dave, and we all bend our heads to listen, 'is he wants to see if the plants are s.h.i.+ny enough.' He nods his head towards Cyril, and
'Be careful,' Cyril is snapping. 'Don't damage the stems.' He glances up. 'What are you all still doing there?'
'Just going!' says Katie, and we head towards the stairs, which I always use because it means I don't have to bother with the gym. Plus luckily Marketing is on the first floor. We've just reached the landing when Jane squeaks 'Look! Oh my G.o.d! It's him!'
A limousine has purred up the street and stopped right in front of the gla.s.s doors.
What is it about some cars? They look so gleaming and burnished, as if they're made out of a completely different metal from normal cars.
As if by clockwork, the lift doors at the other end of the foyer open, and out strides Graham Hillingdon, the chief executive, plus the managing director and about six others, all looking immaculate in dark suits.
'That's enough!' Cyril is hissing at the poor cleaners in the foyer. 'Go! Leave it!'
The three of us stand, goggling like children, as the pa.s.senger door of the limousine opens. A moment later, out gets a man with blond hair in a navy blue overcoat. He's wearing dark gla.s.ses and is holding a very expensive-looking briefcase.
Wow. He looks like a million dollars.
Graham Hillingdon and the others are all outside by now, lined up on the steps. They shake his hand in turn, then usher him inside, where Cyril is waiting.
'Welcome to the Panther Corporation UK,' Cyril says fulsomely. 'I hope your journey was pleasant?'
'Not too bad, thanks,' says the man, in an American accent.
'As you can see, this is very much a normal working day...'
'Hey look,' murmurs Katie. 'Kenny's stuck outside the doors.'
Kenny Davey, one of the designers, is hovering uncertainly on the steps outside in his jeans and baseball boots, not knowing whether to come in or not. He puts a hand to the door, then retreats a little, then comes up to the door again and peers uncertainly inside.
'Come in, Kenny!' says Cyril, opening the door with a rather savage smile. 'One of our designers, Kenny Davey. You should have been here ten minutes ago, Kenny. Still, never mind!' He pushes a bewildered Kenny towards the lifts, then glances up and shoos us away in irritation.
'Come on,' says Katie, 'we'd better go.' And, trying not to giggle, the three of us hurry up the stairs.
The atmosphere in the marketing department is a bit like my bedroom used to be before we had parties in the sixth form. People are brus.h.i.+ng their hair, spraying perfume, shuffling papers around and gossiping excitedly. As I walk past the office of Neil Gregg, who is in charge of media strategy, I see him carefully lining up his Marketing Effectiveness awards on his desk, while Fiona his a.s.sistant is polis.h.i.+ng the framed photographs of him shaking hands with famous people.
I'm just hanging up my coat on the rack when the head of our department, Paul, pulls me aside.
'What the f.u.c.k happened at Glen Oil? I had a very strange email from Doug Hamilton this morning. You poured a drink over him?'
I stare at him in shock. Doug Hamilton told Paul? But he promised he wouldn't!
'It wasn't like that,' I say quickly. 'I was just trying to demonstrate the many fine qualities of Panther Prime and I... I kind of spilled it.' Paul raises his eyebrows, not in a friendly way.
'All right. It was a lot to ask of you.'
'It wasn't,' I say quickly. 'I mean, it would have been fine, if... what I mean is, if you give me another chance, I'll do better. I promise.'
'We'll see.' He looks at his watch. 'You'd better get on. Your desk is a f.u.c.king mess.'
'OK. Um, what time will my appraisal be?'
'Emma, in case you hadn't heard, Jack Harper's visiting us today,' says Paul, in his most sarcastic voice. 'But of course, if you think your appraisal's more important than the guy who founded the company-'
'I didn't mean... I just...'
'Go and tidy your desk,' says Paul in a bored voice. 'And if you spill f.u.c.king Panther Prime over Harper, you're fired.'
As I scuttle to my desk, Cyril comes into the room, looking ha.s.sled.
'Attention!' he says, clapping his hands. 'Attention everyone! This is an informal visit, nothing more. Mr Harper will come in, perhaps talk to one or two of you, observe what you do. So I want you all just to act normally, but obviously, at your highest standards... What are these papers?' he suddenly snaps, looking at a neat pile of proofs in the corner next to Fergus Grady's desk.
'That's the... um... artwork for the new Panther Gum campaign,' says Fergus, who is very shy and creative. 'I haven't quite got room on my desk.'
'Well, they can't stay here!' Cyril picks them up and shoves them at him. 'Get rid of them. Now, if he asks any of you a question, just be pleasant and natural. When he arrives, I want you all at work. Just doing typical tasks which you would naturally be doing in the course of a normal day.' He looks around distractedly. 'Some of you could be on the phone, some could be typing at your computers... a couple of you could be creatively brainstorming... Remember, this department is the hub of the company. The Panther Corporation is renowned for its marketing brilliance!'
He stops and we all stare dumbly at him.
'Get on!' He claps his hands again. 'Don't just stand there. You!' He points to me. 'Come on. Move!'
Oh, G.o.d. My desk is completely covered with stuff. I open a drawer and sweep a whole load of papers inside, then in slight panic, begin to tidy the pens in my stationery pot. At the next desk, Artemis Harrison is redoing her lipstick.
'It'll be really inspirational to meet him,' she says, admiring herself in her hand mirror. 'You know, a lot of people think he single-handedly changed the face of marketing practice.' Her eyes fall on me. 'Is that a new top, Emma? Where's it from?'
'Er, French Connection,' I say after a pause.
'I was in French Connection at the weekend.' Her eyes are narrowing. 'I didn't see that design.'
'Well, they'd probably sold out.' I turn away and pretend to be reorganizing my top drawer.
'What do we call him?' Caroline is saying. 'Mr Harper or Jack?'
'Five minutes alone with him,' Nick, one of the marketing executives, is saying feverishly into his phone. 'That's all I need. Five minutes to pitch him the website idea. I mean, Jesus, if he went for it-'
G.o.d, the air of excitement is infectious. With a spurt of adrenalin, I find myself reaching for my comb and checking my lip-gloss. I mean, you never know. Maybe he'll somehow spot my potential. Maybe he'll pull me out of the crowd!
'OK, folks,' says Paul, striding into the department. 'He's on this floor. He's going into Admin first...'
'On with your everyday tasks!' exclaims Cyril. 'Now!'
f.u.c.k. What's my everyday task?
I pick up my phone and press my voice-mail code. I can be listening to my messages.
I look around the department and see that everyone else has done the same thing.
We can't all be on the phone. This is so stupid! OK, I'll just switch on my computer and wait for it to warm up.
As I watch the screen changing colour, Artemis starts talking in a loud voice.
'I think the whole essence of the concept is vitality,' she says, her eye constantly flicking towards the door. 'D'you see what I mean?'
'Er, yes,' says Nick. 'I mean, in a modern marketing environment, I think we need to be looking at a... um... fusion of strategy and forward-thinking vision...'
G.o.d, my computer's slow today. Jack Harper will arrive and I'll still be staring at it like a moron.
I know what I'll do. I'll be the person getting a coffee. I mean, what could be more natural than that?
'I think I'll get a coffee,' I say self-consciously, and get up from my seat.