Chapter 11
And then I stop abruptly as I meet Jack Harper's gaze.
f.u.c.k.
Inside my head, my own voice from the plane is babbling away innocently.
'... just skimmed the back cover and pretended I'd read it...'
'Great Expectations,' says Jack Harper thoughtfully. 'What did you think of it, Emma?'
I don't believe he asked me that.
For a few moments I can't speak.
'Well!' I clear my throat at last. 'I thought it... it was really... extremely...'
'It's a wonderful book,' says Artemis earnestly. 'Once you fully understand the symbolism.'
Shut up, you stupid show-off. Oh G.o.d. What am I going to say?
'I thought it really... resonated,' I say at last.
'What resonated?' says Nick.
'The... um...' I clear my throat. 'The resonances.'
There's a puzzled silence.
'The resonances... resonated?' says Artemis.
'Yes,' I say defiantly. 'They did. Anyway, I've got to get on with my work.' I turn away with a roll of my eyes and start typing feverishly.
OK. So the book discussion didn't go that well. But that was just sheer bad luck. Think positive. I can still do this. I can still impress him- 'I just don't know what's wrong with it!' Artemis is saying in a girly voice. 'I water it every day.'
She pokes her spider plant and gazes at Jack Harper winsomely. 'Do you know anything about plants, Jack?'
'I don't, I'm afraid,' says Jack, and looks over at me, his face deadpan. 'What do you think could be wrong with it, Emma?'
'... sometimes, when I'm p.i.s.sed off with Artemis...'
'I... I have no idea,' I say at last, and carry on typing, my face flaming.
OK. Never mind. It doesn't matter. So I watered one little plant with orange juice. So what?
'Has anyone seen my World Cup mug?' says Paul, walking into the office with a frown. 'I can't seem to find it anywhere.'
'... I broke my boss's mug last week and hid the pieces in my handbag...'
s.h.i.+t.
OK. Never mind. So I broke one tiny mug, too. It doesn't matter. Just keep typing.
'Hey Jack,' says Nick, in a matey, lads-together voice. 'Just in case you don't think we have any fun, look up there!' He nods towards the picture of a photocopied, G-stringed bottom which has been up on the noticeboard since Christmas. 'We still don't know who it is...'
'... I had a few too many drinks at the last Christmas party...'
OK, now I want to die. Someone please kill me.
'Hi, Emma!' comes Katie's voice, and I look up to see her hurrying into the office, her face pink with excitement. When she sees Jack Harper, she stops dead. 'Oh!'
'It's all right. I'm simply a fly on the wall.' He waves a friendly hand at her. 'Go ahead. Say whatever you were going to say.'
'Hi Katie!' I manage. 'What is it?'
As soon as I say her name, Jack Harper looks up again, a riveted expression on his face.
I do not like the look of that riveted expression.
What did I tell him about Katie? What? My mind spools furiously back. What did I say? What did I- I feel an internal lurch. Oh G.o.d.
'... we have this secret code where she comes in and says, "Can I go through some numbers with you, Emma?" and it really means "Shall we nip out to Starbucks..."'
I told him our skiving code.
I stare desperately at Katie's eager face, trying somehow to convey the message to her.
Do not say it. Do not say you want to go over some numbers with me.
But she's completely oblivious.
'I just... erm...' She clears her throat in a businesslike way and glances self-consciously at Jack Harper. 'Could I possibly go over some numbers with you, Emma?'
f.u.c.k.
My face floods with colour. My whole body is p.r.i.c.kling.
'You know,' I say, in a bright, artificial voice, 'I'm not sure that'll be possible today.'
Katie stares at me in surprise.
'But I have to... I really need you to go over some numbers with me.' She nods in excitement.
'I'm quite tied up here with my work,
'It won't take long! Just quickly.'
'I really don't think so.'
Katie is practically hopping from foot to foot.
'But Emma, they're very... important numbers. I really need to... to tell you about them...'
'Emma.' At Jack Harper's voice I jump as though I've been stung. He leans towards me confidentially. 'Maybe you should go over the numbers.'
I stare back at him for a few moments, unable to speak, blood pounding in my ears.
'Right,' I manage after a long pause. 'OK. I'll do that.'
SEVEN.
As I walk along the street with Katie, half of me is numb with horror, and half almost wants to burst into hysterical laughter. Everyone else is in the office, trying as hard as they can to impress Jack Harper. And here I am, strolling off nonchalantly under his nose for a cappuccino.
'I'm sorry I interrupted you,' says Katie brightly, as we push our way through the doors of Starbucks. 'With Jack Harper there and everything. I had no idea he'd be just sitting there! But you know, I was really subtle,' she adds rea.s.suringly. 'He'll never know what we're up to.'
'I'm sure you're right,' I manage. 'He'll never guess in a million years.'
'Are you OK, Emma?' Katie looks at me curiously.
'I'm fine!' I say with a kind of shrill hilarity. 'I'm absolutely fine! So... why the emergency summit?'
'I had to tell you. Two cappuccinos, please.' Katie beams at me excitedly. 'You won't believe it!'
'What is it?'
'I've got a date. I met a new guy!'
'No!' I say, staring at her. 'Really? That was quick.'
'Yes, it happened yesterday, just like you said! I deliberately walked further than usual in my lunch hour, and I found this really nice place where they were serving lunch. And there was this nice man in the line next to me and he struck up a conversation with me. Then we shared a table and chatted some more... and I was just leaving, when he said did I fancy having a drink some time?' She takes the cappuccinos with a beam. 'So we're going out this evening.'
'That's fantastic!' I say in delight. 'So come on, what's he like?'
'He's lovely. He's called Phillip! He's got these lovely twinkly eyes, and he's really charming and polite, and he's got a great sense of humour...'
'He sounds amazing!'
'I know. I have a really good feeling about him.' Katie's face glows as we sit down. 'I really do. He just seems different. And I know this sounds really stupid, Emma...' she hesitates. 'But I feel you somehow brought him to me.'
'Me?' I gape at her.
'You gave me the confidence to speak to him.'
'But all I said was-'
'You said you knew I'd meet someone. You had faith in me. And I did!' Her eyes begin to s.h.i.+ne. 'I'm sorry,' she whispers, and dabs her eyes with a napkin. 'I'm just a bit overcome.'
'Oh Katie.'
'I just really think my life is going to turn around. I think everything's going to get better. And it's all down to you, Emma!'
'Really, Katie,' I say awkwardly. 'It was nothing.'
'It wasn't nothing!' she gulps. 'And I wanted to do something for you in return.' She rummages in her bag and pulls out a large piece of orange crochet. 'So I made you this last night.' She looks at me expectantly. 'It's a headscarf.'
For a few moments, I can't move. A crochet headscarf.
'Katie,' I manage at last, turning it over in my fingers. 'Really, you... you shouldn't have!'
'I wanted to! To say thank you.' She looks at me earnestly. 'Especially after you lost that crochet belt I made for you for Christmas.'
'Oh!' I say, feeling a pang of guilt. 'Er, yes. That was... such a shame.' I swallow. 'It was a lovely belt. I was really upset to lose it.'
'Oh what the h.e.l.l!' Her eyes well up again. 'I'll make you a new belt, too.'
'No!' I say in alarm. 'No, Katie, don't do that.'
'But I want to!' She leans forward and gives me a hug. 'That's what friends are for!'
It's another twenty minutes before we finish our second cappuccinos and head back for the office. As we approach the Panther building I glance at my watch and see with a lurch that we've been gone thirty-five minutes in all.
'Isn't it amazing we're getting new coffee machines?' says Katie as we hurry up the steps.
'Oh... yes. It's great.'
My stomach has started to churn at the thought of facing Jack Harper again. I haven't felt so nervous since I took my grade one clarinet exam and when the examiner asked me what my name was I burst into tears.
'Well, see you later,' says Katie as we reach the first floor. 'And thanks, Emma.'
'No problem,' I say. 'See you later.'
As I start to walk along the corridor towards the marketing department, I'm aware that my legs aren't moving quite as quickly as usual. In fact, as the door is nearing, they're getting slower, and slower... and slower...
One of the secretaries from Accounts overtakes me, with a brisk high-heeled pace, and gives me an odd look.
Oh G.o.d. I can't go in there.
Yes I can. It'll be fine. I'll just sit down very quietly and get on with my work. Maybe he won't even notice me.
Come on. The longer I leave it, the worse it'll be. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, take a few steps into the marketing department, and open them.
There's a hubbub around Artemis's desk, and no sign of Jack Harper.
'I mean, maybe he's going to rethink the whole company,' someone's saying.