Chapter 19
A: I love Fizzy Pop!
Q: (hearty laughter) (pause) Ok, for real, Fred.
A: I've been working at a deli all my life, and I've seen people walk in and out. I've seen them living their lives, with ups and downs. I think I'll make a great ad man.
Q: Hmm. You went to a community college, correct? What did you major in?
A: I was a math and economics major. I studied statistics, too. I would need to freshen up on the subject, but I'm willing to learn.
'Well, I guess it's time for the greatest weakness question. Wait, that's a bit too hard for him, I guess. Maybe the where do you see yourself in ten years one? No...it's not like he'll get the job, anyway.'
Q: Do you regret working at the deli? You could've found some other job.
A: No, I don't. I loved my co-workers, and the boss. And I got to know the customers. It was a simple, but earnest, life.
Q: Why stop now, then? Why try and get this job?
A: I want to move on. I think I wanted to have more impact on the world, and this company is world cla.s.s. People love soda.
Q: Thanks for coming in, Fred. We'll get back to you soon.
A: Thank you.
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Louis sighed. He had no idea why the higher ups even let Fred have an interview. He would never call him back. Fred had no qualifications. Zero. No good educational background. His resume was a joke. Louis felt bad. He was a nice guy. Super boring, ordinary, but alright.
Louis forgot the feeling almost as quickly as he felt it. He had seen a lot of candidates as an HR guy. Lots of interviews, and lots of rejections. Some were more persistent than others, to his greatest chagrin, but it was part of the job.
He got a call. It was his boss.
"How was Fred?"
What? He called him by name?
"He's no good. Obviously."
"Hire him. Call him in a week."
"...Yes, I understand."
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Mr. White was looking out of his office window. It was a fancy window.
"Fred came in for the interview. We hired him."
"Good."
Mr. Sanders was uncomfortable. He had let Mr. White know about Fred's application for the ad position because he thought it was amusing. The only reason he got wind of it was because the HR guys in the breakroom were laughing their a.s.ses off about
"Would you please reconsider, Mr. White. This will make the company look bad."
"That's exactly the point, Sanders. It won't. We'll leak this a bit. People will love it. A deli man, making his way into the corporate world."
If the corporation wanted something to be known, then it would be. But if it wanted to keep things hidden, it would never see the light of day.
Mr. Sanders thought Mr. White was losing his touch. But he kept his mouth shut.
"Do you think he's unqualified?"
"Well, yes, sir."
"Well, my word is his qualification."
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Fred got the position. He was ecstatic. But he wasn't surprised. Not one bit. He still felt happy, though.
The company asked him if he'll be a spokesman, or spokesperson, for Fizzy Pop. Like that sandwich guy. Fred told them he would be glad to promote the product, but he would really like to work in the ad department. The guy really tried to make Fred reconsider, but Fred was politely firm.
The daily morning news crew on a major network got wind of Fred's story. They were flabbergasted, but it made for a good feelgood snippet, so they got Fred on the show. They knew it was a PR stunt. And a long shot. Fred was old news. His fifteen minutes were all used up. Or so they thought.
The talk show hosts were prepared for a forced PR stunt. But, they were professionals, and they would make it work.
Fred played his role perfectly. He threw in some, "It's a dream come true." "I can't believe it." and "I'm so thankful for the company, and G.o.d." He managed to throw in a "I love Fizzy Pop!" It all felt so natural. He was a humble guy, but not shy. The hosts felt comfortable with the guy.
It was over in five minutes.
The public had mixed reactions, but it was mostly positive. A lot of people pointed out the obvious PR stunt. Others were inspired by such a cla.s.sic underdog in life winning story. Again,there was an uptick in lottery sales.
Then, they forgot about him.
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The liberal party was taking a beating. While they were riding high on the sudden rise in popularity, and relis.h.i.+ng in the disasters that were befalling on the other party, they began to let the power get to their heads. The liberal politicians thought that they could get away with anything, and political and personal ethics flew out the window. Well, they were not invincible, and bad behavior always sees the light of day. Especially when there's another party itching to drag out the dirty laundry.
So, it was scandal after scandal on the cable news networks. It was great for the networks, but not the country. The people were so sick of the politicians, and politics. Both parties were rotten to the core. Bad apples.
The conservative party, once they had a majority, finally, didn't seem too keen on repealing the soda tax. This was government we were talking about. Any source of revenue would be jealously guarded, like a dragon sitting on a mountain of gold. Even the most free-market libertarian politicians saw the benefits of such a juicy stream of steady taxes, and realpolitik won the day. Such was the nature of the state.
Even liberals were mad about the hypocrisy of it all. And the political dynasties began to be voted out, replaced with new faces. It wasn't about voting out the other party to get the other party in power anymore. Party lines were dashed, and the parties had done the das.h.i.+ng themselves.
The only inst.i.tutions that people felt a modest respect for, or tolerance, were the big businesses. And celebrity culture. Entertainment and consumption. It seemed like that was the only stable thing in the country left.
Fred was just glad he got the job.