Chapter 8
July 11. I have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to be established in connexion with our little Inst.i.tution. Eight have applied for the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lord has given us a brother, who will commence the work. The Lord allowed us to call upon Him many times before He answered, but at last He granted our request.
July 13. Today we finished reading through the Scriptures, at family prayer, the second time since we came to Bristol, which is little more than two years. I mention this circ.u.mstance to show how often we may read through the whole of the Scriptures, though we should read but little every day, if we go regularly onward.
August 18. Today brother Craik and I engaged a sister to be governess of another girls' school, which we intend to establish, in dependence upon the Lord for supplies. August 27. I had prayed repeatedly, and had read ten chapters of the Word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to go this evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of His Holy Word the Lord would have me to speak. At the commencement of the meeting I was directed to Lament. iii. 22-26, on which I spoke with much a.s.sistance and enjoyment.
September 18. A brother, a tailor, was sent to measure me for new clothes. My clothes are again getting old, and it is therefore very kind of the Lord to provide thus. September 25. A brother sent me a new hat today.
October 9. Our little inst.i.tution, established in dependence upon the Lord, and supplied by Him with means, has now been seven months in operation, and through it have been benefited with instruction,--1. In the Sunday-School, about 120 children. 2. In the Adult-School, about 40 Adults. 3. In the two Day-Schools for boys and, the two Day-Schools for girls, 209 children, of whom 54 have been entirely free; the others pay about one-third of the expense. There have been also circulated 482 Bibles, and 520 New Testaments. Lastly, 57l. has been spent to aid missionary exertions. The means which the Lord has sent us, as the fruit of many prayers, during these seven months, amount to 167l. 10s. 0 1/2d.
October 28. This afternoon brother Craik and I took tea with seven brethren and sisters, whom the Lord has brought to a knowledge of Himself through our instrumentality, within the last two years; all but one belonging to the same family. We heard there a most affecting account of a poor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, and who seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real concern about his soul, through what I said concerning the torments of h.e.l.l, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out of Bristol. He has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our school and ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to do something also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, the pressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from our school!
November 1. Today, our means being completely gone, we had them supplied in the following manner:--some time since some silver spoons were given to us, which we never used, from the consideration, that for servants of Christ it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, and for that reason we had sold our plate at Teignmouth. Yet up to this day those spoons remained unsold. But now, as we wanted money, we disposed of them, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doing so to supply our need.
November 4. I spent the greater part of the morning in reading the Word and in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcely any money left.--We obtained today two large school-rooms, which we much needed. Thus the Lord graciously helps us concerning the Inst.i.tution, and gives us faith to go forward in the work, enlarging the field more and more (though we have but little money), yet so that we do not contract debts.
November 5. I spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the Word. I prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, but the Lord has not as yet appeared. Still my eyes are up to Him. November 8.
Sat.u.r.day. The Lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during this week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. I have prayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as I remember, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not answered our prayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has supplied us through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was awed to us.
December 10. Today we found that a departed brother had left both to brother Craik and me 12l. December 31, 1834.--I. Since brother Craik and I have been labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been added to us in fellows.h.i.+p. We found 68 believers in the church at Gideon, so that now the whole number would be 295, had there been no changes, but it is only 257; for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left Bristol; twelve have left the churches during the two years and six months, but are still in Bristol; eight are under church discipline, respecting some of whom, however, we hope that they maybe soon restored to communion. Of those 257, there belong 125 to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church. Out of the 227 who have been added to us, 103 have been converted through our instrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of the Gospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. Forty-seven young converts are at Gideon, and fifty-six at Bethesda. Considering that some have fallen asleep who never were in communion with us, and yet converted through our instrumentality; and that some are united to other churches in and out of Bristol; and that many are now standing as candidates for fellows.h.i.+p, of those who have been given to us in this city, as seals to our ministry; the number added may be only one-half, or two-thirds of the real number.
May the Lord fill our hearts with grat.i.tude, for having thus condescended to use us! II. The income which the Lord has given me during this year is:--
1. My part of the freewill offerings through the boxes 135 13s. 2 1/4d.
2. Money given to me by saints in and out of Bristol 92 7s. 6d.
Altogether... 228 0s. 8 1/4d.
3. Besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture, worth to us about 60 0s. 0d.
January 1, 1835. We had last evening an especial prayer-meeting of the two churches, and any other persons hat chose to attend, for the sake of praising the Lord for all His many mercies which we have received during the past year, and to ask Him to continue to us His favour during this year also. It was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they felt disposed, and eighteen did so, as I afterwards reckoned. We continued in prayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the Word, and exhortation, from seven in the evening till one in the morning. January 13. From ten till one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eight this evening, I visited, from house to house, the people living in Orange Street, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to ascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether they could read, whether they wished their children to be put to our Day-Schools or Sunday-School, with the view of helping them accordingly. This afforded opportunities to converse with them about their souls. In this way I sold eight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices, and gave away one Testament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar, one boy as a day scholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about their souls.--January 15. This morning, from ten till one, I went again from house to house in Orange Street. I visited nine houses, sold a Bible and Testament at reduced prices, and engaged, a few children for the schools, and conversed with fifteen persons about their souls. I should greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it is a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, that we can do but little in this way.--January 17. Today brother Groves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his coming to England is, to go to Germany to obtain missionary brethren for the East Indies, having reason to believe that he will find them there; and he asked me, on account of my acquaintance with the language, to accompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge about the state of the brethren, and to communicate to them what he thinks needful for them to know. This is a most important work. May the Lord direct me in this matter, and make me to act according to His will!--I received again today, after prayer respecting the funds, 10l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution.--January 21. Received, in answer to prayer, from an unexpected quarter, 5l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution.
The Lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. For during the past week, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eight copies of the Scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going on with which is most important, but it will require much means.
January 28. I have, for these several days, again prayed much to ascertain whether the Lord will have me to go as a missionary to the East Indies, and I am most willing to go, if He will condescend to use me in this way. January 29. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about going to Calcutta as a missionary. May the Lord guide me in this matter! [After all my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of 1835, and willingness on my part to go, if it were the Lord's will, still He did not send me.]
February 4. I have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of late respecting my journey to the Continent. I desire to go, or not to go, just as the Lord will have it to be. May He graciously direct me! I feel the same about going to India. As a means to ascertain the Lord's will, I have been reading about the Hindoos, that I may know more clearly the state in which they are. May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about their state, whether it be His will that I should labour personally among them, or not!
February 16. I mentioned this evening, before the church at Bethesda, as also on the 13th before the church at Gideon, that I see it the Lord's will to go to the Continent, for the sake of a.s.sisting brother Groves by my knowledge of the German language, in conferring with those who may desire to go out as missionaries. There is not one believer amongst us who sees any objection to it, and several have expressed that it seems to be of the Lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forth of missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as the Lord confirms me still more, through this unanimity, in its being His will that I should go.
February 25. In the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon Him alone for support, we have established a fifth Day-School for poor children, which today has been opened. We have now two boys' schools, and three girls' schools. February 26. This afternoon I left Bristol for the Continent.
February 27. London. This morning I went to the Alien Office for my pa.s.sport. On entering the office I saw a printed paper, in which it is stated that every alien neglecting to renew, every six months, his certificate of residence which he receives on depositing his pa.s.sport, subjects himself to a penalty of 50, or imprisonment. This law I have ignorantly broken ever since I left London in 1829. It appeared to me much better to confess at once that I had ignorantly done so, than now willfully break it; trusting in the Lord as it regarded the consequences of the step. I did so, and the Lord inclined the heart of the officer with whom I had to do, to pa.s.s over my noncompliance with the law, on account of my having broken it ignorantly. Having obtained my pa.s.sport, I found an unexpected difficulty in the Prussian amba.s.sador refusing to sign it, as it did not contain a description of my person, and therefore I needed to prove that I was the individual spoken of in the pa.s.sport. This difficulty was not removed for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through a paper signed by same citizens of London, to whom I am known, the amba.s.sador was satisfied. This very difficulty, when once the Lord had removed it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for I now obtained a new pa.s.sport, worded in such a way, that, should I ever need it again, will prevent similar difficulties.
March 3. This evening I preached comfortably in Johnstreet Chapel, for Brother Evans. I never preached in any place where I so much felt that he who statedly ministers was more worthy than myself. This feeling led me to earnest prayer, and the Lord heard and a.s.sisted me.
March 7. Dover. Last evening I left London, and arrived here this morning. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before my fellow-pa.s.sengers. I have had a good deal of prayer and reading the Word in quietness, though staying in an hotel.--March 8. I preached this morning and evening comfortably in one of the chapels at Dover. March 9. All this day too we have been obliged to remain at Dover, the sea being so rough that no packet sails. I spent the day in writing letters, in reading the Word, and in prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as it regards our movements.
This evening we asked the Lord twice, unitedly, that He would be pleased to calm the wind and the waves, and I now feel quite comfortable in leaving the matter with Him!
March 10. The Lord heard our prayer. We awake early in the morning, and found the wind comparatively calm. We left the hotel before break of day, to go to the packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea, I was separated from brothers G. and Y. I now lifted up my heart to the Lord, as He generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my steps towards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it almost immediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good pa.s.sage. At Calais we obtained our pa.s.sports, luggage out of the custom house, and places in the diligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning for Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have a Father to go to for help! What a different thing, also, to travel in the service of the Lord Jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the fles.h.!.+
March 11. Paris. We arrived here about ten this evening. March 12. Today we went about our pa.s.sports, and I saw thus a good deal of the best part of Paris. Blessed be G.o.d, my heart is above these things! If ten years ago, when my poor foolish heart was full of Paris, I had come here, how should I have been taken up with these palaces, &c.; but now I look at these things, and my heart does not care about them, What a difference grace makes! There were
March 13. We again found difficulty in obtaining our pa.s.sports, arising, probably, from a mistake of the police officers. May the Lord order this matter so, that it shall be for our real welfare!--March 14. By the help of the Lord we obtained our pa.s.sports, and brother Groves and I took our places in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to leave tomorrow evening.
Brother Y. intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health.
March 15. This morning I preached in a little chapel in Palais Royal. We left Paris this evening at six.--March 17. From six o'clock in the evening of the 15th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at Strasburg, We were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with the exception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven, when we were allowed half an hour for our meals. I had refres.h.i.+ng communion with my beloved brother. This quickest of all conveyances in France carries only two pa.s.sengers, and we were thus able freely to converse and to pray together, which was refres.h.i.+ng indeed. Though we had traveled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business at Strasburg, we left this evening for Basle, trusting in the Lord for strength for the third night's traveling. A little after we had started, we stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and we were soon delivered, otherwise the circ.u.mstance, in a cold night, and during a fall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. I now found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-pa.s.sengers who spoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for Christ.
March 18. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where we were very kindly received by the brethren.--March 23. Basle. These six days we have received great kindness from the brethren. The Lord has given me an opportunity of bringing before several who are already engaged in the ministry of the Word, and before many who intend to give themselves to this work, many important truths, so that in these opportunities I have been richly repaid for the journey. This morning I conversed also with three brethren, journeymen, who have a desire to give themselves to missionary work; but nothing could be decided now. I awake very faint, but have been mercifully helped through the work. Brother Groves intends to go to Geneva, and I to Tubingen, in order to become acquainted with a brother, a student, who is likely to go out with Brother Groves as a tutor to his sons, and to combine with this, missionary service.
During my stay at Basle I attended one day a meeting at which a venerable pious clergyman expounded the Greek New Testament to several brethren, who purposed to give themselves to missionary service. The pa.s.sage to which this dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the New Testament, was 1 Peter iii. 1, 2, which, in our English translation, reads thus: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." After this aged brother had expounded the pa.s.sage, he related a circ.u.mstance which had occurred in his own days, and under his own eyes, at Basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for those children of G.o.d who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sisters in the Lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time, is such a beautiful ill.u.s.tration of 1 Peter iii, 1.; that I judge it desirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. I will do so as exactly as I remember it. There lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whose wife was a believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice was, to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry till eleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such occasions his wife always used to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself; to await the return of her husband. When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly, never reproach him in the least, either at the time or afterwards, nor complain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept from seasonable rest. Moreover, if it should be needful to a.s.sist him in undressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in a very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long time. One evening, this gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarried there with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: "I bet, that if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waiting for me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly; and if I ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once without the least murmur, or unkind expression, or look." His companions in sin did not believe his statement. At last, however, after some more conversation about this strange statement, (as it appeared to them,) it was agreed that they would all go, to see this kind wife. Accordingly they went, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened by the lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received by her. The party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife to prepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to do; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself; without the least sign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having now prepared all for the company, she retired from the party to her room. When she had left the party, one of the gentlemen said: "What a wicked and cruel man you are, thus to torment so kind a wife." He then took his hat and stick, and, without touching a morsel of the supper, went away. Another made a similar remark, and left, without touching the supper. Thus one after another left, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper. The master of the house was now left alone, and the Spirit of G.o.d brought before him all his dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife; and the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to his wife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himself a great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towards her. From that time he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus.
Observe here, dear reader, the following points in particular, which I affectionately commend to your consideration: 1, The wife acted in accordance with 1 Peter iii. 1. She kept her place as being in subjection, and the Lord owned it. 2, She reproached not her husband, but meekly and kindly served him when he used to come home. 3, She did not allow the servants to sit up for their master, but sat up herself; thus honouring him as her head and superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able, her husband's shame from the servants. 4, In all probability a part of those hours, during which she had to sit up, was spent in prayer for her husband, or in reading the word of G.o.d, to gather fresh strength for all the trials connected with her position. But whether this was the case or not, it is certain that thus, under similar circ.u.mstances, the time might be spent, and it would then indeed be spent profitably. 5, Be not discouraged if you have to suffer from unconverted relatives. Perhaps very shortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your prayer for them; but in the meantime seek to commend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of their behaviour towards you, but by manifesting towards them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ.
March 25. Tubingen in Wirtemberg. The day before yesterday I left Basle in the afternoon. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before a young man and his wife, who were going to Vienna to increase their riches. What a mercy that grace has made me to differ, and that I travel the service of another master! They listened very attentively, and were not at all opposed. They also esteem the people of G.o.d, and have been in the habit of meeting with them. Our parting was very affectionate and solemn, after I had charged them to care earnestly about the one thing needful.
I arrived, yesterday morning at six, at Schaffhausen. I found a brother waiting for me at the post office, a gentleman of t.i.tle, who, having been informed by brethren at Basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his house for the two hours I had to stay in that town, to refresh my body with breakfast, and my soul with communion with the brethren whom he had invited to meet me. I was in this town about ten years ago. I was now again within a short distance of the fall of the Rhine, which was then most attractive to me. Now I considered that my time could be spent much more profitably than by going there. The little time that I was at Schaffhausen, I received much information concerning the state of the church in many parts of the Continent, from a believing physician and a clergyman; and I also communicated things which, with G.o.d's blessing, may be profitable. After this I continued my journey to Tubingen. It was with peculiar feelings; for all this way I had traversed nearly ten years ago, to gratify my natural desire for travelling, and now I went over the same ground in the service of the Lord Jesus.
I arrived here this morning at nine, having been strengthened to travel two nights and a day and a half, though I left Basle very weak. This morning I saw brother Gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account I am here, and spent about three hours in conversation with him. Afterwards I called on a Christian professor in the university, who received me kindly. This evening I had a meeting with the believing students, for whom the Lord gave me a word.
March 26. This morning I drove with brother Gundert to Stuttgart, both for the sake of seeing more of him, and also that we might unitedly talk over the matter with his father, who lives there. I am now staying at the house of brother Gundert senior, where I am kindly lodged. I think brother Gundert junior, will go to the East Indies. His father is not only willing to give him up for the Lord's sake, but seems to consider it an honour to have a son to give to the Lord in this way. This evening I again met several brethren, to whom I spoke about the things of G.o.d.
March 30. Halle. From the evening of the 27th till this afternoon, when I arrived here, I have traveled day and night, and have been strengthened by the Lord for it. The whole of this way, several hundred miles, I had gone step by step before. My thoughts were peculiarly affecting, as I retraced the mercies which I had experienced at the hands of G.o.d.--The Lord enabled me repeatedly to confess His name before my changing fellow-travelers. A student spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap wine of Weinheim, near Heidelberg. I told him that when, years ago, as a student like himself, I came through that place, I cared about such things, but that now I knew what was much better than wine.--Yesterday a Frenchman, having heard my testimony for Jesus once or twice, when the last merry companion had left the coach, quitted my society, it being too dull for him, and joined himself to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of the coach. (The coach was divided into the forepart and inside.) This gave me a blessed and most refres.h.i.+ng opportunity to pray for about an hour aloud in the coach, which strengthened and refreshed my soul. It was particularly kind of the Lord to give me an opportunity of praying aloud, as, on account of having then already traveled forty-eight hours uninterruptedly, my body was too tired to allow me to continue for any length of time in mental prayer.--Yesterday afternoon, at Eisenach (situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed castle called the Wartburg, where Luther translated the Holy Scriptures), I saw fearful scenes of profanity. How has the candlestick been removed!--This afternoon I reached Halle, where it pleased the Lord to bring me to the knowledge of Himself, having been graciously preserved hitherto, though a spring was found broken when I got out of the mail. I greatly needed rest, but my heart was too full. I could not sleep. I went first to the house of the brother, where I was first impressed, and afterwards I called on my esteemed tutor, professor Dr. Tholuck, counsellor of the Consistory, who received me, after seven years' separation, with his former kindness and brotherly love. (He made me lodge with him, and gave thereby a testimony that differences of views, concerning certain parts of G.o.d's truth, ought not to separate the children of G.o.d; for I had written to him my mind from Bristol two years before.)
March 31. Today I rode with Dr. Tholuck and two young brethren to a believing clergyman, living in the neighbourhood of Halle, where we spent the day. Dr. Tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly this, that several of my former fellow-students, who, at the time when I was at Halle, knew not the Lord, had been brought to know Him since, and are now labouring in His vineyard. And further, that certain brethren, formerly very weak in the faith, had been established, and are now going on well.
May this encourage the heart of the believing reader still to pray for his unconverted friends, and may it strengthen him to hope for better days concerning those of his brethren in the Lord who are now weak in the faith!
April 1. Today I saw a clergyman, in whom I recognized an individual who studied at Halle, whilst I was there, living then in open sin, and who is now, by divine mercy, pointing sinners to the Lamb of G.o.d. In the evening I went to the large Orphan-house, built, in dependence on the Lord, by A.
H. Franke, to see one of the cla.s.sical teachers, who is the son of my father's neighbour, and whom I had not seen for about fifteen years. I found him, to the joy of my heart, to be a brother in the Lord. This evening I spent in the same room where it pleased the Lord to begin a work of grace in my heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters with whom I used to meet seven years ago, and told them of the Lord's faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbearance towards me, since I had seen them last. Truly how good has the Lord been to me since!
April 2. This morning I again spent in calling on the brethren and sisters, being enabled, every where, before learned and unlearned, to testify about the blessedness of adhering to the Scriptures as our only guide in spiritual things. I left Halle this afternoon, having received much love from the brethren, and drove fifteen miles further, to a beloved brother and old friend, brother Stahlschmidt at Sandersleben, who has shown me much kindness even since I have been in England. I was received with much love by this brother and his dear wife, and his man servant, also a beloved brother. [This brother (the man servant) I met fifty-four years ago at Gnadau, a Moravian settlement, where I several times spent a few days for the refreshment of my soul, to which place he also came, a distance of about forty-five miles, for the same purpose. He was then living with a farmer, ploughing his fields, &c. At that time our hearts were knit together; for I wish it to be understood by any unconverted reader, that, whilst I should at one time have looked with scorn upon such a person, if he had attempted to be familiar with me, now the love of Jesus, in whom we were one, filled my heart with love to him, and these outward distinctions were broken down. In consequence of this acquaintance, he wrote me several letters to Halle, and I wrote to him.
Those letters were particularly refres.h.i.+ng and spiritual, and therefore I read them to other brethren, and also to brother Stahlschmidt, a wine merchant. On account of this, he had a great desire to have brother Kroll living in his house. The Lord, after a time, brought it about, and this brother lived with him above forty years, and was a friend, a brother, and a most faithful servant to this merchant, so that his considerable business was in a great measure intrusted to him; and yet he treated his master with all due respect, and kept his place as a servant. This latter point is very important, and brings glory to G.o.d. For whilst a believing master should treat a believing servant with all kindness and brotherly love; yet the believing servant should with all obedience, with all faithfulness, and particularly with due respect, treat his believing master or mistress.]
April 3. Sandersleben. Today I saw several brethren and sisters, and among others a brother, who is in about the same state in which he was eight years ago. He has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in the things of G.o.d. The reason is, that, against his conscience, he remains in a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. We are exhorted in Scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide in it "with G.o.d." 1 Cor. vii. 24.--This evening a believing clergyman, and the brethren and sisters of this small town and some neighbouring villages, were collected together in brother Stahlschmidt's house, and I spoke to them for two hours about the things of G.o.d, particularly about the way in which G.o.d has led me, since I saw them, and sought to strengthen their hands in G.o.d, and exhorted them to give themselves fully to the Lord. It was a time of refres.h.i.+ng. Indeed, the Lord has greatly refreshed my own soul, at Basle, Tubingen, Stuttgart, Halle, and elsewhere, whenever I have spoken well of His name. The child of G.o.d should make it his particular business to encourage sinners to seek after the Lord, and to increase the faith and love of the brethren, through speaking well of the name of the Lord.
April 4. I left Sandersleben this morning. My brother and host acted according to 3 John, 5 and 6; for he sent me on ten miles in his carriage.
When I arrived at Aschersleben, to which place brother Stahlschmidt had conveyed me, I had but one station more to my father's house. On the way I asked the driver about a certain individual, with whom I studied at Halle, once a companion with me in open sin. I found that he is still in the same state. What a difference has grace made between him and me! Nothing, nothing but grace has made this difference! I, guilty sinner, might now be still on the same road, and he, in my room, might have been plucked as a brand out of the fire. But it is not so. May the Lord help me to love him much, very much, for His distinguis.h.i.+ng grace!--Such feelings I had in particular this afternoon, when I saw the town before me in which my father lives, as there are but two in the whole place, as far as I can find out, who love the Lord. How different is everything with me now from what it was when, as a wicked youth, I used to go to this town, at the time of my vacation. How truly happy am I now! How is my heart now raised above all those things in which I sought, and also fancied I found happiness! Truly all these things are like bubbles to me now! My heart is not here; yea, my heart is not even in England. My heart is, at least in a measure, in heaven, though I am still nothing but a poor weak worm. I felt the solemnity and importance of having once more the privilege of seeing my aged father. I also felt the importance of being at the place, where I had spent much of my time in my youth, and where I had been known as living in sin. My desire was, that I might be enabled to walk, the three days I intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of Christ. For this I had been led to prayer before I left Bristol, and since I have been on the Continent. At last I arrived at my father's house. How affecting to meet him once more!
April 5. Heimersleben. This afternoon a friend of my father called-one who knows not the Lord. After a few minutes the Lord gave me an opportunity of setting before him the fundamental truths of the Gospel, and the joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me. Thus a way was opened to me of stating the truth more fully than ever I had been able to do before, by word of mouth, in the presence of my father and brother, without saying to them, "Thou art the man." I was a.s.sisted by the Lord.
May He water the seed sown! This evening I went to the only two brethren in this little town, thus to own them as such. It has appeared well to me to call on none whom I know, else I should be expected to call on all; and as I see it right to spend but three days here, I consider that that little time should be wholly given to my father, as it may be the last time that I shall see him; yet, at the same time, I judged that it was well pleasing in the sight of the Lord, that I should call on these brethren to strengthen their hands.
When I saw these brethren last, in February, 1829, two or three more used to meet with them; but since then the reproach of the cross has driven the others back into the world. From that time, these brethren have scarcely seen a believer, and never hear the Gospel preached; it was therefore a great joy to them to see me. They told me that the Lord had blessed my last visit to them; and having been informed of my coming, they were prepared to ask me many questions. One of them, Knabe, about thirty years ago being possessed of property, was persuaded to lay it out in coal mines. He joined with two men who spent his property, and after some time they became bankrupts, so that there was not money enough to pay the workmen and some other creditors, even after all their goods had been sold. This evening brother Knabe asked me what he ought to do about the money which had been left unpaid three and twenty years; whether he was still under an obligation to pay it, if he could. My answer was at once that he was, being in the sight of the Lord still a debtor, though cleared by the laws of men. He then told me, that some years since some property was left to him, and that he also, in the years 1816, 1817, and 1818, when the corn prices were very high, had laid by some money, and that therefore he was fully able to pay the debt. He saw immediately that this was the right way, and said that he would act accordingly. He added that now he saw why he had made so little progress in divine things. I have learned that this brother has lately taken two dest.i.tute orphans into his house, whom he entirely supports by the labour of his hands (he earns his bread by thras.h.i.+ng corn), and that the people, though they consider him, on account of his love for the Lord, a weak and foolish person, yet look upon him with respect.
April 6. I spent this morning in answering questions which my father put to me about secular things in England. This I did for the following reasons:--1. I had scarcely ever spoken about these things in my letters, indeed so little, that my father told me, he had often intended to ask me whether it was forbidden in England to send letters abroad about such matters, as I never wrote about them. I had refrained from doing so, partly, on account of want of time; and, partly, because I had better things to write about, wis.h.i.+ng to direct his mind to the things of G.o.d. 2.
Now, however, I spoke on these subjects, because I particularly desired to be as kind, affectionate, and obliging as I conscientiously could, considering that this was the testimony I was especially called on to give. Formerly I had much pressed the things of G.o.d on him, and not with sufficient tenderness, knowing not then experimentally the helplessness of the creature. After it had pleased the Lord to show me the truth more clearly, in the summer of 1829, I wrote in a different way; but in the commencement of the year 1833 I felt pressed in spirit once more, most fully, not so much as a son, but as a servant of Christ, to write, and to point out to him minutely his state, showing him the danger of his soul, the grounds of which I fully laid before him. When this, as formerly, greatly displeased him, I ceased to speak any more in this way, and from that time I aimed and still aim more and more to show him love in action, as it becomes a believing son, telling him only how happy I am--how I am supported under such and such trials--how I am not caring about certain things as formerly I did--in what an awful state I was once living, and how G.o.d brought me out of it; and how any sinner, by forsaking his evil ways, and believing on the Lord Jesus, may be brought to the same joy and happiness, and what a delight it would be to me to meet my father at last in heaven, &c. Since I have corresponded with him in this way, things have been very comfortable, though I have brought as much truth before him as formerly, and though I have never sent a letter without speaking, comparatively, much about these things. On the same ground I have not on this visit spoken directly to my father about the state of his soul, though he has more than ever heard the truth from my lips. G.o.d has indeed been with me, and I believe that I have been led by Him to pursue this course. Different, however, has been the way in which I have dealt with my unconverted brother; for the relations.h.i.+p in which I stand to him is a different one. For this afternoon, I not only pointed out to him his danger, but spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in my letters, and intend to do so still, if the Lord permit.
This afternoon brother Knabe called on me. He told me that he had already experienced a trial on account of his intention to pay the money, as his wife tried to keep him from it, by endeavouring to persuade him that G.o.d does not require him to do such a thing, as he has taken two orphan children into his house. He nevertheless is determined to do it. He saw, however, another difficulty, which was, that, when he looked over the papers containing the names of his creditors, it was found that all but three, out of about thirty, were dead, and he did not know what to do concerning them. I told him to go to those places where his creditors used to live, and he might find, perhaps, some needy widows and fatherless children, whom they had left behind; and, if not, he should inquire after the lawful heirs, and pay the money to them. He saw with me, and declared his full intention to do so, whatever it might cost, and seemed truly glad that G.o.d at last, through my advice, had delivered him from this burden; for from time to time the matter had pressed on his conscience that he ought to do it.--I spent this evening in relating to my father and brother some of the Lord's dealings with me in England, particularly how He has graciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to prayer, and they both seemed to feel, for the moment at least the blessedness of such a life.
April 7. I saw brother Knabe this morning, who is still determined to pay the money, though tried by his wife. I exhorted him to steadfastness. I also saw some persons who called on me to hear about England, for every one of whom the Lord gave me a word without any effort. It was especially so last night. A friend of my father, a Roman Catholic, called, and I was enabled to set the truths of the gospel before him, with their blessed effects, without entering upon the Roman Catholic controversy.--A part of this morning I spent in walking about with my father to see one of his gardens, and some of his fields, because I knew it would give him pleasure; and I felt that I ought in every way to show him kindness and attention, as far as I conscientiously could. Tomorrow, G.o.d willing, I intend to leave, and to return to England. The Lord, in His rich mercy, in answer to my prayer, has enabled me so to walk before my father, and has also impressed what I have said so far upon his heart, as to cause him to say today, "May G.o.d help me to follow your example, and to act according to what you have said to me."