Chapter 17
2. That G.o.d is the "Father of the fatherless," and that He, therefore, as their Father, would be pleased to provide. Psalm lxviii. 5.
3. That I have received the children in the name of Jesus, and that, therefore, He, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore, He would be pleased to consider this. Mark ix. 36, 37.
4. That the faith of many of the children of G.o.d has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if G.o.d were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened.
5. That many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing?
6. That many of the children of G.o.d, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justified to continue their alliance with the world in the work of G.o.d, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar inst.i.tutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if He were not to help me.
7. That the Lord would remember that I am His child, and that He would graciously pity me, and remember that I cannot provide for these children, and that therefore He would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help.
8. That He would remember likewise my fellow-labourers in the work, who trust in Him, but who would be tried were He to withhold supplies.
9. That He would remember that I should have to dismiss the children from under our Scriptural instruction to their former companions.
10. That He would show, that those were mistaken who said, that, at the first, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards.
11. That I should not know, were He to withhold means, what construction I should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer, which He had given me heretofore in connexion with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of G.o.d.
In some small measure I now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word "how long," which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the Psalms. But even now, by the grace of G.o.d, my eyes are up unto Him only, and I believe that He will send help.
Sept. 10. Monday morning. Neither Sat.u.r.day nor yesterday had any money come in. It appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, i.e., to go to the Orphan Houses, call the brethren and sisters together, (who, except brother T----, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith I still believed that G.o.d would help, and to pray with them. Especially, also, I meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nouris.h.i.+ng food and needful clothing; for I would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. I meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. I felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis.--About half-past nine six-pence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. This money seemed to me like an earnest, that G.o.d would have compa.s.sion and send more. About ten, after I had returned from brother Craik, to whom I had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the Orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. A few minutes after, when I went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. Thus the Lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. A few minutes after I was called on for money from the Infant-Orphan-House, to which I sent 2l., and 1l. 0s. 6d. to the Boys?-Orphan-House, and 1l. to the Girls?-Orphan-House.
Brother Craik left Bristol today for a few days in company with another brother. I should have gone with them for the sake of obtaining some quiet for my head; but I must remain, to pa.s.s with my dear Orphans through the trial; though these dear little ones know nothing about it, because their tables are as well supplied as when there was 800l. in the bank, and they have lack of nothing.
Today I saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, had been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through my Narrative.
Sept. 11. The good Lord, in His wisdom, still sees it needful to keep us very low. But this afternoon brother T---- called, and told me that one of our fellow-labourers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins, for 1l. 1s., that 9s. 6d. had come in, and that two of our fellow-labourers had sent two lots of books of their own, 19 and 21 in number, to be sold for the Orphans. What an abundant blessing, that in such a season of trial I have such fellow-labourers! This 1l.
10s. 6d. was given to the Boys?-Orphan-House.
Sept. 12. Still the trial continues. Only 9s. came in today, given by one of the labourers. In the midst of this great trial of faith the Lord still mercifully keeps me in great peace. He also allows me to see, that our labour is not in vain; for yesterday died Leah Culliford, one of the orphans, about 9 years old, truly converted, and brought to the faith some months before her departure.
Sept. 13. No help has come yet. This morning found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to not going into debt, etc. We prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. They all seemed comfortable 12s. 6d. was taken out of the boxes in the three houses, 12s. one of the labourers gave, and 1l. 1s. had come in for needlework done by the children.
One of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth. What a blessing to have such fellow-labourers!
Sept. 14. I met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help. After prayer one of the labourers gave me all the money he had, 16s., saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. One of the sisters told me, that in six days she would give 6l., which she had in the Savings? Bank for such a time of need. G.o.d be praised for such fellow-labourers!-?Up to this day the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milkman weekly, because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer.
But now, as the Lord deals out to us by the day, we considered it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the week?s payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the Lord, "Owe no man anything."
Rom. xiii. 8. From this day, and hence-forward, whilst the Lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose therefore to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never to buy anything except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. The little which was owed was paid off this day.--When I came home I found a large parcel of new clothes, which had been sent from Dublin for the Orphans, a proof that tire Lord remembers us still. We met again in the evening for prayer. We were of good cheer, and still BELIEVE that the Lord will supply our need.
Sept. 15. Sat.u.r.day. We met again this morning for prayer. G.o.d comforts our hearts. We are looking for help. I found that there were provisions enough for today and tomorrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly baked bread. This afternoon one of the labourers, who had been absent for several days from Bristol, returned, and gave 1l.
This evening we met again for prayer, when I found that 10s. 6d. more had come in since the morning. With this 1l. 10s. 6d. we were
Today, a brother kindly paid the bill for medical attendance on my dear wife during her confinement. The same brother also had paid, some weeks since, the second medical attendant, who was called in.
Thus the Lord, in various ways, sends help to us, showing continually His fatherly care over us.
Sept. 16. Lord?s day afternoon. We met again for prayer respecting supplies for the Orphans. We are in peace, and our hope is in G.o.d, that He graciously will appear, though but one s.h.i.+lling has come in since last evening.
Sept. 17. The trial still continues. It is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. Truly, the Lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long upon Him for help. But I am sure G.o.d will send help, if we can but wait. One of the labourers had had a little money come in, of which he gave 12s. 6d.; another labourer gave 11s. 8d., being all the money she had left: this, with 17s. 6d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly, was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the x.x.xivth Psalm, so that I went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-labourers for prayer. I read to them the Psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it.
Sept. 18. Brother T. had 25s. in hand, and I had 3s. This 1l. 8s.
enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all; no more than this is needed.
Thus the Lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. Now, however, we are come to an extremity. The funds are exhausted. The labourers, who had a little money, have given as long as they had any left.--Now observe how the Lord helped us! A lady from the neighbourhood of London who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in Bristol, and took lodgings next door to the Boys? Orphan-House. This afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to 3l. 2s. 6d. We had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning I had asked the Lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. That the money had been so near the Orphan-Houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of G.o.d to help us; but, because He delights in the prayers of His children, He had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the sweeter. It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment I was alone, after I had received the money. I met with my fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed tomorrow.
Sept. 20. Morning. The Lord has again kindly sent in a little. Last evening was given to me 1s. 6d., and this morning 1l. 3s. Evening.
This evening the Lord sent still further supplies; 8l. 11s. 2 1/2d.
came in, as a further proof that the Lord is not unmindful of us.
There was in the box of the Girls? Orphan-House 1l. 1s., and in that of the Boys? Orphan-House 1l. 7s. 2 1/2d. One of the labourers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave 6l. 3s. About eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the Savings? Bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the Orphan-Houses, intending to draw it in a time of need. Some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles for the Orphan-Houses; now the sum was reduced to 6l. When she found out the present need, she went this day week to the Savings? Bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money today. Truly, as long as G.o.d shall be pleased to give me such fellow-labourers, His blessing will rest upon the work! This 8l. 11s. 2 1/2d. was divided this evening to supply the three houses, and we thanked G.o.d, unitedly, for His help.
Sept. 22. Both yesterday and today we have again a.s.sembled for prayer and praise. We are in no immediate want, but on the 29th 19l. 10s.
will be due for the rent of the three Orphan-Houses.--Today there was only 4s. 7d. in hand for the other objects of the Inst.i.tution, though it was the pay-day for some of the teachers. My comfort was the living G.o.d. During this week He had helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way, as it regards the Orphan-Houses, that it would have been doubly sinful not to have trusted in Him for help under this fresh difficulty. No money came in this morning. About two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a sovereign was given, with which I went immediately to brother T. (who attends to this part of the work), to pay at least in part, the weekly salaries. I found that he had received a sovereign in the morning. By means of this sovereign, together with the one which I had received just at the moment when it was needed, we were helped through this day.
Sept. 25. Yesterday and the previous days we have continued to a.s.semble for prayer. In four days the rent for the Orphan-Houses will be due, and we have nothing towards it; also, the housekeeping money in the three houses is now again gone. May the Lord have compa.s.sion on us, and continue to send us help! A little came in this morning: there was found 9s. 6d. in the box in my house.
Sept. 27. The 9s. 6d. which came in the day before yesterday, was given to the Infant-Orphan-House. Thus we were helped through that day and yesterday. There was every thing that was needed in the three houses; I had made particular enquiry; there was meat even for today. We met yesterday again for prayer. Today I was not able to go, on account of indisposition; I sent, therefore, to brother T. to request him to divide the l8s. 6d., (10s. of which had come in last evening, and 8s. 6d. of which we had in hand), between the three matrons. This afternoon I hear of a fresh deliverance which the Lord has wrought. About five weeks ago, a farmer applied for the admission of an orphan-girl, his grand-daughter. As I knew, however, that he had the means of providing for her, and as our Inst.i.tution is only for dest.i.tute orphans, I informed him that the child could only be received, on condition of his paying 10l. a year for her support, (which is about the average expense for the younger girls), and this, quarterly, in advance.4 This morning he came, brought the child, and paid 2l. 10s. in advance, and gave 1l. besides. Thus the Lord has again most seasonably helped us in this our time of need. May He keep the memory of these deliverances alive in our souls, and increase our confidence in Him by every fresh one! In less than two days we have to pay 19l. 10s. for rent! May the Lord keep us looking to Him, and mercifully send help!
Sept. 29. Sat.u.r.day evening. Prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. I have been looking out for it, though I knew not whence a s.h.i.+lling was to come. This morning brother T. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. Twelve o?clock struck (the time when the rent ought to have been paid), but no money had been sent. For some days past I have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent. This is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. The first was about the half-yearly rent of Castle-Green school-room, due July 1, 1837, which had come in only in part by that time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as G.o.d may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. May the Lord, then, help us to act accordingly; and may He now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent!--Whilst in this matter our prayers have failed, either to humble us, or to show us how weak our faith is still, or to teach us, (which seems to me the most probable,) that we ought to provide the rent beforehand; the Lord has given us again fresh proofs, even this day, that He is mindful of us. There was not money enough in the Girls?-Orphan-House to take in bread, (we give the bread to the children on the third day after it is baked); but before the baker came, a lady called who had had some needlework done by the children, and paid 3s. 11d., and thus the matron was able to take in bread as usual. I found this morning 2s. in the box in my house, our extremity having led me to look into it. One of the labourers gave 13s. This 15s. was divided amongst the three matrons.
Thanks to the Lord, there is all which is needed for today and tomorrow.
Sept. 30. We are not only poor as regards the Orphan-fund, but also the funds for the other objects bring us again and again to the Lord for fresh supplies. Today, when we had not a single penny in hand, 5l. was given for the other objects.
Oct. 2. Tuesday evening. The Lord?s holy name be praised! He hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! The day before yesterday 5l. came in for the Orphans. Of this I gave to each house 10s. which supplied them before the provisions were consumed.
Oh! how kind is the Lord. Always, before there has been actual want, He has sent help. Yesterday came in 1l. 10s. more. This 1l. 10s., with 4s. 2d. in hand, was divided for present necessities. Thus the expenses of yesterday, for housekeeping, were defrayed. The Lord helped me also to pay yesterday the 19l. 10s. for the rent. The means for it were thus obtained. One of the labourers had received through his family 10l., and 5l. besides from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of this he gave 16l., which, with the 3l. 10s. that was left of the above-mentioned 5l., which came in the day before yesterday, made up 19l. 10s., the sum which was needed.
--This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, for the Boys? and Infant Orphan-Houses, but again the Lord helped. A sister who had arrived this afternoon from Swansea brought 1l. 7s., and one of the labourers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give 1l. 13s. Thus we had 3l.:?-1l. for each house, and could buy bread before the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 4. Thursday. The money of Tuesday helped us through yesterday.
Today, when again all was gone, and help was greatly needed, our loving Lord appeared. The books which had been given some time since, by some of my fellow-labourers, were sold for 11s., also an old bedstead for 2s. 6d., and an old sofa for 10s. The boxes were also opened, as I had been told some money had been put in, and 9s. 1d.
was found in them. This money was a fresh encouragement to us in our need. By this 1l. 12s. 7d. we were helped through the day.
Oct. 5. This morning, just before I was going to the Orphan-Houses to meet with the brethren and sisters for prayer, 1l. 3s. was brought from Teignmouth. This money seems to have been given some months since to a brother at Teignmouth, but it did not reach me until today. It is a most seasonable help, to defray the expenses of this day, and a fresh proof, that not in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, our gracious Lord delays as yet, to send larger sums.
Oct. 6. Sat.u.r.day. The Lord has again most kindly helped us. It came to my mind that there were some new blankets in the Orphan-Houses, which had been given some time since, but which are not needed, and might therefore be sold. I was confirmed in this by finding that the moth had got into one pair. I therefore sold ten pairs, having a good opportunity to do so. Thus the Lord not only supplied again our present need for the three houses, but I was also able to put by the rent for this week and the next, acting out the light which He had given us this day week. There came in 9s. 6d., besides 7l. for the blankets. The School fund, also, was again completely exhausted, when today and yesterday came in so much, that not only the weekly salaries could be paid today, but also above 1l. could be put by for rent.
Oct. 9. Through the last-mentioned supplies for the Orphans we were helped up to this day; but today we were brought lower than ever. The provisions would have lasted out only today, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the labourers selling one of his books. The matron in the Boys?-Orphan-House had this morning two s.h.i.+llings left. When in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. In this great need, some money having been given to one of the labourers, he gave 2l. of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions. Nevertheless even this day, low as we had been brought, before this 2l. was given, there had been all in the house that was needed.
Oct. 10. The Lord had sent in so much since yesterday afternoon, that we were able at our meeting this morning to divide 2l. 0s. 2d.
between the three matrons, whereby we are helped through this day.
But now the coals in the Infant-Orphan-House are out, and nearly so in the other two houses. Also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. On this account we have asked the Lord for fresh supplies.
Oct. 11. The "Father of the fatherless" has again shown his care over us. An Orphan from Devons.h.i.+re arrived last evening. With her was sent 2l. 5s. 6d. The sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream jug (of the weight of 48 oz.), having found true riches in Christ. There was also in the boxes 9s. One of the labourers paid for a ton of coals. We obtained 16l. 16s. for the silver articles.--Thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days.
Oct. 12. Today seven brethren and sisters were added to us in fellows.h.i.+p, and eight were proposed. May the Lord send helpers for the work!
Oct. 13. For three months past the Orphan fund has been low, yet hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 15. I knew that there would be money needed this morning, for many things in the Orphan-Houses, and my heart was therefore lifted up to the Lord. Just when I was going to meet my fellow labourers for prayer, I received from Trowbridge 4l. There had come in also at the Orphan-Houses 7s. 3d. To this one of the labourers added 1l. Thus I was enabled abundantly to supply all that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a ton of coals. We are now, however, cast again on the love of our Lord for further supplies, as there is neither any thing in hand, nor have the labourers any more of their own to give.