Unbreak Me

I was stunned into silence. "Me?"

She continued, as though she hadn't heard my low voice, "The best names are when they're linked to G.o.d, like Abdullah, and then the Prophets' names. So, make your choice."

"Are you sure—?" I shook my head, unable to believe she was asking something so big of me. Did she really trust me that much? Had nothing changed in our relations.h.i.+p since childhood?

She wiped at her cheeks. "Of course, I am,"

"I don't know that much about the Prophets..." I trailed off, shame burning my ears.

What kind of a person was I? Had I truly never wondered and looked deeper into my own religion?

"We've studied Islamiyat, of course," I continued, "But that was only about Prophet Muhammad's story."

In other words, I had no name for the baby. Except maybe Muhammad.

There was no judgement in her eyes though, nothing except pure understanding. "How about I suggest a few names and you choose, then?"

A smile pulled at the corners of my lips. "I'd like that,"

"Okay, so..." she hummed. "Ilyas... Yusuf..."

"Uh," I gazed at the little boy, knowing these weren't names for him.

Somehow, I knew exactly what I wanted to call him. Yet, I was afraid she'd make fun of me. A guy like me...

"What are you thinking?" Her gaze told me she knew exactly what was going through my head. "Zayn, if you have a name, tell me. In fact, just name him yourself when

Startled, my head whipped towards her. "What? Didn't your father already do that?"

"It's best if the child's father does it..." she trailed off.

My heart stopped beating. It literally just stopped. I couldn't feel or hear its beat. She wasn't serious, was she? Did she mean to say...

My throat was raw, so raw it wouldn't be stifled with a thousand gallons of water. "Leia, I—" I don't deserve this. I don't deserve him. Or you.

I couldn't form the words, though. I couldn't produce a single syllable.

My arms shook as I pulled him close, my mouth against his ear. I let out a heavy breath, voice trembling as I gave the Adhaan.

"... La illaha illa Allah."

The whole room seemed to be dead-silent by the time I finished and I realised to my horror that my cheeks were damp. With one hand, I pretended to scratch my face but instead quickly wiped my cheek, placing it around his legs again.

I looked at Leia and she gave me an encouraging smile, sniffling.

Whispering loudly against his ear, I said, "Your name is... Abdar Rahman. Your name is Abdar Rahman. Your name is Abdar Rahman."

I broke off with a shudder when his tiny fist landed on my chest as he snuggled closer. I took his hand, kissing it over and over again.

"He's so small," I whispered in wonder, locking eyes with Leia. "I should've known he'd take his height from you."

For a moment, it seemed like she would swat my arm, perhaps even slap me right across my face. But she only scoffed, trying to stifle a smile.

"Babies are supposed to be small," she said, as if I didn't already know. "Not this chubby though. Do you think it's weird that he's so chubby?"

I glared at her. "Did you just call Abdar Rahman weird?"

She shook her head. "I'm just worried. It's okay for his weight to be this much, right?"

I decided to cut her some slack. She was just a mother concerned for her child. "Nothing's wrong with him. He's so cute this way."

She grinned this time, leaning against her pillow with a sharp intake of breath. "Can't argue with that." She sounded pained and I knew it was better she didn't hold Abdar Rahman for some time now.

There was a cot in the corner but I wasn't letting him away from me. So, I took a seat next to her bed, brus.h.i.+ng my knuckles over Abdar Rahman's cheek. He was the cutest baby in the world.

That was a fact.