Unbreak Me

Leia looked like s.h.i.+t. There was no other way to describe what she looked like. Dark circles glided down to her cheeks and the hollowness of her cheekbones made me wonder how long it had been since I had seen her when I'd really only seen her yesterday night.

"Hey," I whispered softly.

Her eyes met mine and they were just so sad, I felt the same emotion in my own self. My chest constricted.

She jerked her head into a nod and withdrew her gaze from mine, clutching the straps of her backpack. She stood motionless for a second, staring at our row but making no move to take a seat. I knew she had no idea where she was supposed to sit but I could also tell that she was lost somewhere inside her head, not really paying attention to anything.

I stepped ahead to stand beside her and grabbed her bag from its handle. Leia whirled around and blankly stared at me. s.h.i.+t, what had happened to her?

"Last row," I whispered, managing to hold her bag in my hand.

"Huh?"

"We're sitting in the last row today," I clarified, unable to tear my gaze away from her.

Fighting the sudden impulse to stroke her soft cheeks, I cleared my throat and strode to our seats. I stepped back when we reached there and waited for Leia to come forward and sit down before taking a seat to her right. She flinched at our nearness. Everything in my body halted. I placed her bag at the empty seat next to me and gave her a questioning stare. But she wasn't looking at me.

Her eyes were fixed on her hands fiddling with the safety pin on her sash. I didn't know what was wrong but I was willing to do anything to fix it.

"Talk to me," I pleaded, bending down to meet her eyes.

She didn't look at me, though. Just kept playing with the d.a.m.ned safety pin. Over and over again. It was only when I saw the shade of crimson on her checkered sash that I realised she wasn't merely touching the pin. She was hurting herself.

"Stop," I choked out.

She didn't listen.

I cursed and didn't care that every single head turned my way. The only person that mattered sat right next to me. Ever so slowly, she looked up. I saw the disapproval in her gaze. It would've been laughable that she managed to care about such c.r.a.p at a moment like this. Except, nothing at the time seemed funny.

"If you don't remove your hand away from that pin right this second then so help me G.o.d, Leia." My warning was clear. If she didn't take her hand off, I would. Which would require touching.

She immediately let go.

"Good to know my touch bothers you that much." I attempted my chance at humour. For her sake.

Except, the shadows flickering in her eyes further darkened.

"Please, Leia. Please tell me what happened."

"Nothing,"

"Really? Because it sure as h.e.l.l doesn't seem that way. Have you looked at yourself today? G.o.d," I ran a hand down my face. "It's like someone ate you alive last night."

Leia's hands shook. I caught the tremble of her lips and

s.h.i.+t.

I scooted off from the chair and kneeled down in front of her. "What's wrong, sweetness?"

She shook her head and wiped at her tears, desperately trying to remove the signs of her pain. Flames licked up her cheeks and I knew she didn't want the whole cla.s.s to witness her meltdown.

So, I grabbed her backpack from the floor and told her, "Get up. Let's get you something to eat from the canteen. You don't seem well."

It was an excuse to get her away from here. Surprisingly, she quickly got up and strode toward the door, slamming it shut behind her. I raised my brows and followed suit.

Outside the air was humid and the kids in the hallways made the atmosphere so much worse. My eyes followed Leia's small frame and I ran after her to catch up.

"I was kidding about the canteen, you know," I wheezed out. "Cla.s.s is about to begin in fifteen minutes."

Leia kept walking as though she hadn't heard me. She took a sharp turn and I realised where we were going. The top floor.

"Hey hey hey," I stood in front of her, both hands shot out. "Where do you think you're going? The Princ.i.p.al's office is upstairs, you know that, right?" Not that the Princ.i.p.al was ever in her office. She was an old woman and had s.h.i.+fted her office downstairs. But still. Scaring people off was easier this way.

Leia, however, was determined. She flew past me and ran up the stairs faster than I blinked. Dammit.

Finally reaching upstairs, I saw Leia sitting on the same bench I had seen her the first time she'd returned. Except, this time she had tears in her eyes and her body language reeked of melancholy.

Slowly, I walked towards her.

"Go away," she said, "I want to be alone."

I sat down beside her, keeping a healthy distance between us. Not only because it would make her feel uncomfortable but also because it felt weird to intrude her personal s.p.a.ce like this.

"I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong. Come on, Leia. Is something wrong in your family?"

"Family," she mused, letting out a sarcastic laugh. Then, "Don't waste your time on me. I won't tell you anything anyway."

I bit my tongue to keep in a response. The thing was, I knew Leia and the only way to make her talk was to stay silent. She had always had this purity to her and I guess her biggest mistake was to trust strangers.

I was staring off into the distance when I heard her speak. "What if there is someone who makes me feel like trash? I owe him so much that I feel obliged to go through whatever he puts me through." Her eyes meet mine, all watery and sad. "I can't let him use me anymore. It hurts. Everywhere. It hurts. I can't..." Her chin wobbles. "I can't do this anymore."

I feel like a douche. She hates me. Hates me so much that it's apparent in her every word. s.h.i.+t. s.h.i.+t. s.h.i.+t. I ran a hand through my hair, ruining the gelled locks.

"You..." I start, "I'm sorry, Leia. No, please let me say it this time. I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. That day in front of the lockers and for every nasty insult. It wasn't your fault. I was angry and clearly lost my mind seeing you here so suddenly. And I... I did something bad. I should've told you earlier..." I flung an anxious glance at her, sensing her confusion in the knot of her brows. "Anas had this stupid bet—I swear I never planned on doing it—but it was about me taking—uh—taking your—" Oh G.o.d, I can't say it. She will hate me forever.

"I know about the bet,"

I winced. "Uh, yeah, about that. We planned it all. We knew you and Hoor were right outside that day. The bet was actually something... way worse."

Her eyes narrowed. "What could be worse than hurting someone's feelings?"

"I can't say it," I almost whispered, mentally slapping myself over and over again.

"You have to tell me now. If you meant that apology, you have to tell me."

I ran my fingers through my hair, keeping hold of the locks. "Your virginity. I had to take your virginity."

There was complete and utter silence. I expected her to yell at me. To slap me even. Heck, I know I deserved it. Doesn't matter that I was never going to go through with the bet. I should've throttled Anas when he first suggested it. Instead, what Leia did surprised me. She started laughing.

When she continued to do so, I casted a worried look at her. "Uh... are you okay?"

She stopped laughing suddenly and I noticed the tears streaking down her cheeks. s.h.i.+t, this was so not okay.

"I'm so disgusted right now by you, Zayn. This is wrong on about a hundred different levels. But you know what the funny thing is? You would've lost the bet no matter what. Even if I wasn't religious. You would never have taken my virginity." She let out a humourless, short laugh and whispered, "Someone beat you to it."