Chapter 7
Their relations.h.i.+p is very much stable and had no problems whatsoever. Both parties have been giving and receiving their needs in substantial amount. It almost like they're meant to be together.
A month later, he goes into Chara's house with a sincere look on his face.
She knew what is going on and wished that it didn't turn her doubts into reality.
In that moment, their two and a half year relations.h.i.+p has ended.
The reason isn't because he hated her or he isn't satisfied in what she does to him.
In fact, it's because he's worried about her.
Phillip notices time by time that she always focuses on him and nothing else. He didn't see her hanging out with her friends, her academic grades are unsatisfactory, and she doesn't care about anyone but him, especially Valera.
He briefly explained this to her and wants her to change for the good of her future. He also said that he will gladly approach her to talk not as a couple, but as a friend.
Frustrated, she argues to him and said things like; "What, you don't love me anymore?" "Am I not enough?"
Then he holds both of her shoulders and said "Please, Chara... For your sake."
She stopped rambling and has no choice but to accept it. Phillip asks again and she accepts the break up.
And with that, he got out of the door and waves her goodbye.
Even though she accepted it, Chara's heart felt empty as loneliness crawls around her body...
She stayed home after that for 3 days, using anything to satisfy the loneliness she feels and most of the time she lays on her bed, crying in woe for she still thinks of her partner.
In those three days of solitude, she deeply thinks the other reason why he broke up with her.
And Valera came up in her mind.
She blindly thinks that he loved Valera more that he loved her. She now a.s.sumes that Valera is the main reason why they broke up. And from that, Chara's hatred towards Valera grows gradually.
Eventually, she got out of her bed; changing her clothes and goes outdoors, heading to Valera's apartment with killing intent in her eyes.
However, two of her friends, Karen and Lisa, were going to her apartment to cheer her up from the break up until they saw her leaving her apartment. Just one look on her makes them feel like something atrocious is going to happened.
Concerned, Lisa follows her while Karen goes to Phillip to a.s.sess the situation regarding Chara.
As Chara walks through the pavement, she loses her sense of morality and does whatever it takes to be able to reunite with her lover once again.
...
"...Whew...! All dried up!!"
In an almost wrecked up building, Valera gets her clothes from the hanger on her balcony. As she goes inside, she separates each of the clothing. The clothes she uses on her home, the clothes she uses outdoors, the clothes she uses on special occations...
And the clothes she's going to use on her upcoming graduation.
She hangs her graduation clothing near her mirror and looks to herself, feeling proud of her achievements.
"I've finally done it, huh?" She said to herself.
She then looks on her left to see a sweetly scented white flower standing on her balcony. She smiles at the flower as she reminisces something on her past.
Valera stretches her body to ease herself from her household work and goes to take a shower.
"You..."
Valera stopped when she hears a threatening voice from her front door.
The door opens slowly as Chara slips her head on a near-closed door.
"Chara?! What... happened...?" She lowers her voice when she sees her baggy yet menacing eyes. She steps back away from her, for what she saw is not Chara's preserved state.
She can feel the cold air emitting behind Chara. She cannot breathe in her presence and is terrified on her expression that resembles as that of a killer.
On the moment she saw this side of Chara, she has faced death herself.
"You took... everything from me..." She puts her foot inside the room, making the tension between them even stronger.
"Phillip... He is everything for me...
When I put my head on his shoulders, I feel at ease. When he smiles as I gave him a gift, I feel delighted.
I wanted him to be with me..." Chara walks slowly to the kitchen, reaching her arms in the utensils.
"Then YOU came along!" She grabs a knife in her hands and points her threateningly.
"hE ALwaYS APproaCHES YOu wHeN HE SaW yOu, chatTinG wiTH you, BeInG fRIendLY WitH YoU, as if you wEre aLREady a COuPle."
"N-No, we're not like that!! If you're mad about the break up, just talk to him an-"
"SHUT UP!!" She thrusts the knife on the wooden wall beside her. It created a larger hole, bigger than the knife itself, only because of her brute strength.
"Why did he get your attention?!!! Why is he happy when he's with you more than me?!!! WHY IS HE INTERESTED TO YOU?!!!
I'm his girlfriend, but why?! WHY IS HE CLOSER TO YOU THAN ME?!!!
DOES HE LOVE YOU MORE THAN ME?!!!"
Despite Valera's situation at hand, as she says her pent up feelings towards her, she empathizes her. What she has said in front of her is the same feelings she feels at Chara, bottled up for those years.
Now she feels scared not only at her, but also herself.
"You're just his friend, Valera! Not his lover! Phillip needs to be with me! He has to! IT SHOULD BE ME!
ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!
ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!
HE ONLY NEEDS
Chara shouts with all of her might, squeezing all of her air in her lungs.
"..." She stayed still whilst looking at the ground, breathing heavily due to her screaming.
"... I had no other choice, Valera." She grips the knife firm and strong. Valera backed off even further.
"for Phillip to be happy; for us to be happy..."
Chara stopped talking. The tension grows even larger than the room itself. She looks at Valera with a pale face...
And grins long and wide with an open eye.
"hehe... hehaha...hahaha...
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" She sprints at her without warning, laughing maniacally at her victim.
Valera can only stand on her ground. She sure has felt frightened at her. However, she has another feeling that overshadows her fear.
Valera felt pity, painfully watching Chara as she loses her state of mind.
"STOP!!!"
She halts at the voice, inches away for her knife from Valera's face. She looks back to see a familiar face.
Lisa finally shouted at her and overpowers her petrified fear.
"...Who are you?" She straightforwardly said towards her old friend.
"Please, stop. You can't do this, Chara." She tries to be empathic with her, hoping for her rampage to end.
"..." Chara puts her gaze at her with intent to kill.
She moves away from Valera and goes towards Lisa.
"C-Chara...?"
"Nuisance... Nuisance..." She repeats the word "Nuisance" while she approaches at her, griping the knife even stronger.
Lisa is afraid, afraid that she might die from her very friend. But for also for her friend's sake, she stands on her ground.
"Nuisance... All of you!!!!"
The rumblings on the floor become stronger and stronger, as someone draws near them.
At long last, Phillip arrived at her front door.
He's breathing heavily from his running with a concerned feeling.
Seeing her ex-boyfriend in the front door, she stopped whilst looking pale at his presence.
He also felt surprised from looking at Chara holding a knife, as if she wanted to kill someone.
"No...This...I..." She stutters her every sentence as she tries to make an excuse.
"Chara..."
Phillip tries to get closer to her, but she moves away from him in response.
"You're just lost, Chara. Let us help you."
"I..." Chara didn't know what to do. Now that he saw what she is now, there is no point for her to be with him again.
"Chara, please..."
She moves far off of him, scared of what he will do to her.
Eventually, she came to a halt when she's at the end of the iron balcony.
Nowhere to back off, Chara stayed still until he comes to her.
It's the end for her. Phillip saw her trying to kill someone and she is cornered by the feeling of despair.
"sorry, Phillip..."
Having no choice on her mind, she climbed at the railing of the balcony and puts her body on the high air.
"Chara!" He runs to her as soon as she climbs to the railing.
As she started to fall, Phillip successfully grabbed her hand.
He uses his other hand and holds on the railing, supporting him as he tries to pull her up.
"Let me go!!" Chara fidgets midair and hits his hand hard.
Valera didn't believe what she is seeing. Earlier, Chara tried to kill her because of her pent up frustration towards her. And now, that very same person tries to kill herself for the reason that her ex had witnessed what she has done.
All of this has happened because she's involved at him.
She selflessly directed all the regret towards herself, thinking that if he didn't meet him in the past, this shouldn't have happened.
She's angry at herself that she let someone die because of her.
But it's not too late.
Valera has built up her determination and wanted to save her, to forgive herself for what she has done to Chara.
Chara screamed at him while she hits his hands to let herself go. But until he pulls her up, he will not let go.
She hits him harder than before. And eventually, she uses her nails to scratch his hand.
"Guh!" Her unexpected a.s.sault makes Phillip lose his focus and let go of her hand. Chara is finally free from his grasp. As she looks at his quailed face, she can't help but to cry at the sight of her beloved.
"CHARA!!" He reaches his hand to her once again, but to no avail. She's already far from his clasp and he will witness his friend to plummet on the concrete floor below her.
...
...
"!"
Chara suddenly felt a gripping sensation from her hand, stopping her descent.
"Urrggg..." Valera uses both of her hands to hold her. But even so, she might slip her hand in any second due to her strength.
She expected her victim's face to be filled with resentment because of what she did. But what she saw in her eyes...
Was pity.
"...why?
I tried to kill you back then. and yet..." She couldn't hold her emotions anymore. She's filled with confusion, having her feelings disarray and not knowing what to feel right now.
"I didn't ask you this before, Chara. I know it wasn't the right time to say this but...
Why do you love Phillip so much that you're willing to die for him?"
"..." Chara is in shambles. Back then, she didn't need a reason why. She didn't even know why she loves him in the first place. In that short moment, she finally realizes her feelings towards Phillip.
"...I feel lonely." She doesn't know why she said that. She didn't even thought of such statement. All she did is to say what was on her mind and wasn't able to comprehend on what that words mean.
"Whether I'm with him, I feel like I was in harmony. He always talks first because I don't know how to converse to him at first. He's always making jokes that I understand and laugh. And whenever I'm in pain, he's there, comforting me as he eases my throbbing heart.
He's the perfect person I can be with. And for that, I gave up everything, only to get that feeling once again."
Valera feels like they're related to each other. She also gets the same feeling whether she's with him. But even so, there's always a difference.
When Chara is willing to give everything up just to be with him...
Valera thinks of him as her savior, a stepping stone to help her for her future.
Phillip has helped her ever since her father died. What he did to her makes her feel like she's with her father, watching from the heavens with Phillip's eyes. Knowing this fact, she wanted to show Phillip, her father, that in her very existence...
She's working very hard to get the greatest achievement in her life.
Valera wanted to show Chara how she feels towards him, without saying it directly.
Valera questions her again.
"Then you gave up everything, even if you throw your own friends?"
"No one loved me as a friend, Valera... My family even despises my very existence... I wanted to be free... Free from this shackles I had since birth..."
She puts her hand on Valera's grip and pushes it to let herself go.
"So please...
Let me rest in peace..."
As soon as she pushes harder, Lisa and Karen held her hand.
At first, she doesn't know who those people are.
Back then, Chara is on a crazed state that it forces her to forget an important piece of memory. So important that forgetting them makes her feel regretful of herself.
As she finally sees the bigger picture, she finally remembers.
"Lisa... Karen..."
"Don't you die on me, Chara! We've only just met you after all of these years so..." Before Lisa even finishes her sentence, she lets out of her emotions and feelings from what she witnessed from Valera's room.
"I don't know how did this happen, but all I know for sure is that you're hurt.
If you're feeling depressed, you know that you can call us, right?"
As Chara's memories started flooding inside of her, she came back to her senses in realization...
That she already has someone who can make her feel the same sensation she felt in Phillip.
Lisa, Valera, and Karen pulled her up and the three friends go inside. Phillip saw her getting pulled up and proceeded to go downstairs.
As for Valera, she stayed a little bit, feeling satisfied for what she has done for Chara. And with that, Valera feels contented of the outcome.
Valera looked back to see the three friends together again and goes inside...
Only to found out that her demise was not on Chara's hand.
*Clang!!!*
The iron balcony couldn't handle the people residing earlier, only to be wrecked by their weight.
The three of them looked at the sound's cause and saw Valera slowly falling with a broken balcony.
Out of the three of them, Chara first acted on what they saw beforehand.
"VALERA!!!"
They were too far away from her to even reach her. But Chara still runs unto her, thinking that she might reach her...
But she couldn't.
As Valera falls in her death, she has felt four sensations during that time:
The feeling of dropping unto the endless depths of the ocean.
The coldness of her heart well knowing that this will be her last day she will exist.
The strong, but pleasing wind hitting across her body.
And the calmness in her mind, accepting her fate.
Those four sensations came inside of her simultaneously as she looks up to the sky, kissing the world goodbye.
While she was falling, the flower on her balcony fell.
As the flower drops, in Valera's eyes, the flower resembled into a floating ball of flame. The flame in that flower helps her calm down a bit, having thoughts that she can be finally able to reunite with her father.
Having these thoughts residing in her heart, she has arrived to the ground, slamming her body on the concrete floor as her consciousness fades away...