Chapter 2
Ah, I forgot; my darling boy, it's you. Come to me here, my child! Was n't it for you that I toiled and sc.r.a.ped this many a year? Wasn't it for you that I did all this? and--G.o.d, forgive me!--maybe it 's my soul that I 've perilled to leave you a rich man. Where 's Tom? where 's that fellow now?"
"Here, sir!" said I, squeezing his hand, and pressing it to my lips.
He sprang up at the words, and sat up in his bed, his eyes dilated to their widest, and his pale lips parted asunder.
"Where?" cried he, as he felt me over with his thin fingers, and drew me towards him.
"Here, father, here!"
"And is this Tom?" said he, as his voice fell into a low, hollow sound; and then added: "Where's George? answer me at once. Oh, I see it! He isn't here; he would n't come over to see his old father. Tony! Tony Ba.s.set, I say!" shouted the sick man, in a voice that roused the sleepers, and brought them to his bedside, "open that window there. Let me look out,--do it as I bid you,--open it wide. Turn in all the cattle you can find on the road. Do you hear me, Tony? Drive them in from every side. Finnerty, I say, mind my words; for" (here he uttered a most awful and terrific oath), "as I linger on this side of the grave, I 'll not leave him a blade of gra.s.s I can take from him."
His chest heaved with a convulsive spasm; his face became pale as death; his eyes fixed; he clutched eagerly at the bedclothes; and then, with a horrible cry, he fell back upon the pillow, as a faint stream of red blood trickled from his nostril and ran down his chin.
"It 's all over now!" whispered the doctor.
"Is he dead?" said Ba.s.set.
The other made no reply; but drawing the curtains close, he turned away, and they both moved noiselessly from the room.
CHAPTER II. DARBY THE "BLAST."
If there are dreams which, by their vividness and accuracy of detail, seem altogether like reality, so are there certain actual pa.s.sages in our lives which, in their indistinctness while occurring, and in the faint impression they leave behind them, seem only as mere dreams. Most of our early sorrows are of this kind. The warm current of our young hearts would appear to repel the cold touch of affliction; nor can grief at this period do more than breathe an icy chill upon the surface of our affections, where all is glowing and fervid beneath. The struggle then between the bounding heart and the depressing care renders our impressions of grief vague and ill defined.
A stunning sense of some great calamity, some sorrow without hope, mingled in my waking thoughts with a childish notion of freedom.
Unloved, uncared for, my early years presented but few pleasures. My boyhood had been a long struggle to win some mark of affection from one who cared not for me, and to whom still my heart had clung, as does the drowning man to the last plank of all the wreck. The tie that bound me to him was now severed, and I was without-one in the wide world to look up to or to love.
I looked out from my window upon the bleak country. A heavy snowstorm had fallen during the night. A lowering sky of leaden hue stretched above the dreary landscape, across which no living thing was seen to move. Within doors all was silent. The doctor and the attorney had both taken their departure; the deep wheel-track in the snow marked the road they had followed. The servants, seated around the kitchen fire, conversed in low and broken whispers. The only sound that broke the stillness was the ticking of the clock upon the stair. There was something that smote heavily on my heart in the monotonous ticking of that clock: that told of time pa.s.sing beside him who had gone; that seemed to speak of minutes close to one whose minutes were eternity. I crept into the room where the dead body lay, and as my tears ran fast, I bent over it. I thought sometimes the expression of those cold features changed,--now frowning heavily, now smiling blandly on me. I watched them, till in my eager gaze the lips seemed to move and the cheek to flush. How hard is it to believe in death! how difficult to think that "there is a sleep that knows no waking!" I knelt down beside the bed and prayed. I prayed that now, as all of earth was nought to him who was departed, he would give me the affection he had not bestowed in life.
I besought him not to chill the heart that in its lonely desolation had neither home nor friend. My throat sobbed to bursting as in my words I seemed to realize the fulness of my affliction. The door opened behind me as with bent-down head I knelt. A heavy footstep slowly
"Is he asleep. Master Tommy?" said the old man, in a faint whisper.
My lips trembled, but I could not speak the word.
"I thought he wanted the 'dogs' up at Meelif; but I 'm strained here about the loins, and can't go out myself. Tell him that, when he wakes."
"He'll never wake now, Lanty; he's dead!" said I, as a rush of tears half choked my utterance.
"Dead!" said he, repeating the word two or three times,--"dead! Well, well! I wonder will Master George keep the dogs now. There seldom comes a better; and 'twas himself that liked the cry o' them."
He tottered from the room as he spoke, and I could hear him muttering the same words over and over, as he crept slowly down the stair.
I have said that this painful stroke of fortune was as a dream to me; and so for three days I felt it. The altered circ.u.mstances of everything about me were inexplicable to my puzzled brain. The very kindness of the servants, so unusual to me, struck me forcibly. They felt that the time was past when any sympathy for me had been the pa.s.sport to disfavor, and they pitied me.
The funeral took place on the third morning. Mr. Ba.s.set having acquainted my brother that there was no necessity for his presence, even that consolation was denied me,--to meet him who alone remained of all my name and house belonging to me. How I remember every detail of that morning! The silence of the long night broken in upon by heavy footsteps ascending the stairs; strange voices, not subdued like those of all in our little household, but loud and coa.r.s.e; even laughter I could hear, the noise increasing at each moment. Then the m.u.f.fled sound of wheels upon the snow, and the cries of the drivers as they urged their horses forward. Then a long interval, in which nought was heard save the happy whistle of some poor postilion, who, careless of his errand, whiled away the tedious time with a lively tune. And lastly, there came the dull noise of feet moving step by step down the stair, the muttered words, the shuffling sound of feet as they descended, and the clank of the coffin as it struck against the wall.
The long, low parlor was filled with people, few of whom I had ever seen before. They were broken up into little knots, chatting cheerfully together while they made a hurried breakfast. The table and sideboard were covered with a profusion I had never witnessed previously.
Decanters of wine pa.s.sed freely from hand to hand; and although the voices fell somewhat as I appeared amidst them, I looked in vain for one touch of sorrow for the dead, or even respect for his memory.
As I took my place in the carriage beside the attorney, a kind of dreamy apathy settled down on me, and I scarcely knew what was pa.s.sing. I only remember the horrible shrinking sense of dread with which I recoiled from his one attempt at consolation, and the abrupt way in which he desisted, and turned to converse with the doctor. How my heart sickened as we drew near the churchyard, and I beheld the open gate that stood wide awaiting us! The dusky figures, with their mournful black cloaks, moved slowly across the snow, like spirits of some gloomy world; while the death-bell echoed in my ears, and sent a shuddering through my frame.
"What is to become of the second boy?" said the clergyman, in a low whisper, but which, by some strange fatality, struck forcibly on my ear.
"It's not much matter," replied Ba.s.set, still lower; "for the present he goes home with me. Tom, I say, you come back with me to-day."
"No," said I, boldly; "I'll go home again."
"Home!" repeated he, with a scornful laugh,--"home I And where may that be, youngster?"
"For shame, Ba.s.set!" said the clergyman; "don't speak that way to him.
My little man, you can't go home today. Mr. Ba.s.set will take you with him for a few days, until your late father's will is known, and his wishes respecting you."
"I'll go home, sir!" said I, but in a fainter tone, and with tears in my eyes.
"Well, well! let him do so for to-day; it may relieve his poor heart.
Come, Ba.s.set, I 'll take him back myself."
I clasped his hand as he spoke, and kissed it over and over.
"With all my heart," cried Ba.s.set. "I'll come over and fetch him to-morrow;" and then he added, in a lower tone, "and before that you 'll have found out quite enough to be heartily sick of your charge."
All the worthy vicar's efforts to rouse me from my stupor or interest me failed. He brought me to his house, where, amid his own happy children, he deemed my heart would have yielded to the sympathy of my own age. But I pined to get back; I longed--why, I knew not--to be in my own little chamber, alone with my grief. In vain he tried every consolation his kind heart and his life's experience had taught him; the very happiness I witnessed but reminded me of my own state, and I pressed the more eagerly to return.
It was late when he drew up to the door of the house, to which already the closed window shutters had given a look of gloom and desertion. We knocked several times before any one came, and at length two or three heads appeared at an upper window, in half-terror at the unlooked-for summons for admission.
"Good-by, my dear boy!" said the vicar, as he kissed me; "don't forget what I have been telling you. It will make you bear your present sorrow better, and teach you to be happier when it is over."
"Come down to the kitchen, alannah!" said the old cook, as the hall door closed; "come down and sit with us there. Sure it 's no wonder your heart 'ud be low."
"Yes, Master Tommy; and Darby "the Blast" is there, and a tune and the pipes will raise you."
I suffered myself to be led along listlessly between them to the kitchen, where, around a huge fire of red turf, the servants of the house were all a.s.sembled, together with some neighboring cottagers; Darby "the Blast" occupying a prominent place in the party, his pipes laid across his knees as he employed himself in concocting a smoking tumbler of punch.
"Your most obadient!" said Darby, with a profound reverence, as I entered. "May I make so bowld as to surmise that my presence is n't unsaysonable to your feelings? for I wouldn't be contumacious enough to adjudicate without your honor's permission."
What I muttered in reply I know not; but the whole party were speedily reseated, every eye turned admiringly on Darby for the very neat and appropriate expression of his apology.
Young as I was and slight as had been the consideration heretofore accorded me, there was that in the lonely desolation of my condition which awakened all their sympathies, and directed all their interests towards me; and in no country are the differences of rank such slight barriers in excluding the feeling of one portion of the community from the sorrows of the others: the Irish peasant, however humble, seems to possess an intuitive tact on this subject, and to minister all the consolations in his power with a gentle delicacy that cannot be surpa.s.sed.
The silence caused by my appearing among them was unbroken for some time after I took my seat by the fire; and the only sounds were the clinking of a spoon against the gla.s.s, or, the deep-drawn sigh of some compa.s.sionate soul, as she wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye with her ap.r.o.n.
Darby alone manifested a little impatience at the sudden change in a party where his powers of agreeability had so lately been successful, and fidgeted on his chair, unscrewed his pipes, blew into them, screwed them on again, and then slyly nodded over to the housemaid, as he raised his gla.s.s to his lips.
"Never mind me," said I to the old cook, who, between grief and the glare of a turf fire, had her face swelled out to twice its natural size,--"never mind me, Molly, or I 'll go away."
"And why would you, darlin'? Troth, no! sure there 's n.o.body feels for you like them that was always about you. Take a cup of tay, alannah; it 'll do you good."
"Yes, Master Tom," said the butler; "you never tasted anything since Tuesday night."