Chapter 1
His heart did somersaults at the thought of his beloved Eiji walking through the door of their cosy villa in the settled countryside for real. War was finally at an end after many years of his countries on and off conquests with other countries. Everything that they had fought for will finally come to fruition; a slow, calm life in the meadows, together.
He swept aside tumbling strands of his flowing, silk black hair; grabbed his treasured yellow ribbon— Eiji had bought him at the summer festival before he left for war—and tied up the long lengths of his hair in a clean bun. His secured the tasuki to his grey casual kimono sleeves and went about preparing their home so it would be a perfect picture when Eiji entered.
"Oh look Hinchan, this place brings in a lot of sun like you." Hinata sighed, dreamily, as he remembered Eiji's voice saying smooth words to send his heart racing.
He swept the simple cosy sun-room clean so not a spec of dirt was visible under the light from the many window panes facing east. His memories played on the moments where he watched Eiji reading his book (against the large foreign cus.h.i.+on that was a souvenir from his last tour); his intelligent brown eyes absorbing words of another language. Hinata loved the way Eiji's long fingers tenderly turned pages, his calm full lips not moving whilst his eyes skimmed animatedly.
Thoughts moved to the first time they met at school. Eiji was his stoic senior who was revered for being the best and the brightest in academics and sports. He was every woman's dream of a nation's husband; tall, toned but lean, a handsome face with a gentle smile, calm eyes and cool mannerisms even in the height of danger. He was not a man to lose his demeanour for anything, except the time Hinata had been beaten by some ruffian bullies when they found out he was in love with a man.
Hinata had been bleeding out on the ground, frustrated at himself for not being able to get up and save Eiji from losing himself to a fight with bullies. He was angry at himself for allowing Eiji to reach that state. The consequence saw Eiji enlist for war by his parents. It had been seven years since.
Hinata treasured every moment they were able to spend together. Between tours, Eiji had helped him setup a home in the countryside to be away from the city life. Hinata inherited his uncle's dress shop and their small two-room cottage, which was set against meadows that ran up to the Tengu mountains. It was the man's lasting gift to the couple, knowing they could never find another place in their world.
"Eiji's coming home." Hinata chanted and sung as he swept out the sunroom, dusted down the Butsudan of his uncle, so the shrine was a picture of serenity, love and peace amongst a heady scent of sandalwood and summer flowers.
"Come on
He chuckled when Eiji had brought the cat home. It was a rainy day, Eiji had returned home and saw the cat crying out from under a soaked box dumped to the side of the road.
"Tamchan's like us. Let's give him a home." Eiji had said that sealed the deal.
Hinata spoiled the cat in place of Eiji to the point it was dragging its fat belly on the ground when it walked.
He had finished his housework and tending to the herb and vegetable garden when the sun started to wane in the west. His heart thumped with trepidation. He felt sure today was the day Eiji was coming home.
The town women had been rejoicing about seeing their husbands home now that the war was finally at an end. They were proud of their men who fought valiantly and were coming home as heroes. Eiji had to be part of those returning men. It was unthinkable for him not to be.
The sun had long set when Hinata received a curt banging on his door. He ran to open it and saw two soldiers wearing the emblem of Eiji's unit. They both removed their caps and placed them over their hearts. Hinata's heart skipped beats when he saw sadness glisten their dark eyes. The men's faces looked strained with aged wrinkles were permanently etched on the corner of their eyes and foreheads. He gulped when he noticed crude scars peeking out from the high collar of one of them.
Neither said a word when one of them handed Hinata sealed letter with a gloved hand. Hinata gingerly received it and politely offered tea to which the soldiers declined and went on their way.
He carefully placed the letter on the low table in the main room and knelt before it in seiza. His mind was a turbulent mess, crudely teasing his hope for his lover's return. Time ticked slowly and quietly for an hour before he found the courage to pick up the letter.
The front was official stamped with a government office t.i.tles and the back was sealed without any markings. He read the printed kanji for his name and address, meticulously printed at the center. His fingers trembled as he pried the sealed flap open and pulled out another envelop that was hidden within.
Tears streamed down his cheeks and sides of his neck when this envelop held his name, lovingly written by Eiji's own handwriting. It was so messy and all over the place, it made his mouth tremble with a smile. More tears flowed from his eyes, when he carefully opened the envelop flap and pulled out a piece of folded floral scented paper. His heart beat rapidly at the sight of dried sunflower petals falling out to land on his lap.
He sniffed the lush aroma of familiar flowers that was still smelling strong, closing his eyes to imagine the place that Eiji would have been when he had picked them.
_"Hinata."_ He opened his eyes to a memory of Eiji's deep, soothing voice calling out his name.
Slowly, he unfolded Eiji's letter and read his words to him.
[My dearest, beloved Hinata,
I don't know if our last fight will save our country from losing the war nor if I will live to see this end. Right now, I'm fighting in an island country similar to our own.
It's strange to be fighting men who look no different to us and carry the same love for their country in their hearts. There are so many similarities that makes me wonder why we fight. Then I remember our little lover spats and my purpose is renewed.
Around me, all the men fight with pride for those they love. We know this last fight will be our final hope and end. We will see it through to the end.
You keep me strong, your love keeps my heart true. I miss your joyfulness, the way you see the beauty in the smallest and simplest things. Those treasured touches only we both know, I feel them in my heart. You are my life, the one that keeps my heart beating and the face that keeps a smile on my face. My beautiful, sweet, pure sunflower.
I found this meadow when we climbed the mountains. The sun was beaming down on a field of sunflowers. My mind was filled of you. At that moment, the only reason for dying was to make sure you were safe.
I love you always. Never stop living life, smiling for others and being the beautiful soul that you are.
You are my sun, my life and the greatest joy in my life. My soul is with you always.
With all my eternal love,
Eiji.]
Hinata's tears streamed his face as his emotions claimed control. His heart felt like it was breaking, his body trembled with realisation of his loss.
Slithers of morning and a new day pierced through the cracks of the closed window shuttles, he gingerly rose from when he had been kneeling the whole night. Wobbling, unsteadily to his feet as he felt life p.r.i.c.kling back into his numbed legs.
He pushed open the shutters to reveal a rising sun that would bring another bright and sunny day to the countryside.
A cosy scent of sunflowers graced his senses and tenderly warmed the love in his heart.
Eiji kept his promise of coming home.