Chapter 54
How could he throw all this away?
Portia buried her head in her hands, letting the tears flow freely. n.o.body would hear her out here in the wilderness. n.o.body would ask why she wept as if somebody had died.
He'd cast her out without as much as listening to her, without taking a moment to consider the implications. He hadn't even had time to think about it. As soon as Zane had seen her father's picture, his mind had already been made up. She'd never stood a chance.
Portia felt the cold creeping into her bones and flesh, only intensifying her sense of loss. Zane didn't love her. Had he ever really loved her? If he truly had, how could he have treated her like this? How could he have blasted such iciness at her, such hatred?
And how could she go on now? Her heart ached for the only man who'd ever made her feel anything. Zane was her heart, her love, her life. She'd dreamed of a life with him. Eternal life, a family of her own, a life filled with laughter and love, pa.s.sion and desire. Just what the last two days had been like.
Her breast ached, the place where his fangs had pierced her skin burning hot like a blacksmith's fire. Longing to feel him there again spread and added to the pain in her chest. His love had felt like a coc.o.o.n. Without it she felt vulnerable and lost.
Nothing mattered anymore. Maybe if she stayed here in the snow and let the elements take care of her, she would forget the pain in her heart. If she were human, she would simply fall asleep in the icy surroundings and never wake again, but her hybrid body didn't allow this escape. It forced her to continue, to set one foot before the other and keep moving. Its survival instinct was stronger than her own will.
Numb and without direction, she marched through the snow, not caring where her legs carried her. Maybe if she closed her heart, the pain would vanish.
It didn't.
How did other women deal with this? How did they handle being rejected by the man they love? What did Lauren do?
At the thought of her friend, she closed her eyes and sobbed uncontrollably. She needed a friend so badly right now. She needed to hear from somebody that things would get better, that she would get over this, forget Zane, forget that she loved him. She needed help.
Portia didn't know how long she'd wandered the woods when she finally reached a road. There was little traffic. She kept in the shadows of the trees until she'd figured out what to do, planting herself at the side of the road and lifting her thumb.
The first pickup truck halted. She didn't hesitate and grabbed the door handle to open the door.
The driver was a man in his forties. He gave her an encouraging look, and she let herself fall onto the pa.s.senger bench.
"Where to, honey?"
"Just drive."
She could sense his intentions instantly, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't lay a hand on her.
You have the sudden urge to drive to San Francisco. You don't see me. I'm not in your car. Just drive.
She pushed her thoughts into his mind until he turned his face away from her as if he didn't even see her and put the truck back in gear.
As she put more and more distance between Tahoe and Zane's cabin, her heart continued weeping in silence. Nothing in her life had ever hurt as much as losing Zane. Without Zane, she had nothing to look forward to.
She looked out the pa.s.senger side window seeing a faint reflection of herself pasted over the darkness outside. She didn't deserve this. Somehow she had to prove that she wasn't the daughter of a monster. Then Zane would love her again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE.
Zane packed the remaining weapons into the back of the Hummer and shut the trunk. He'd loaded up everything he'd stacked in the cabin, knowing he wouldn't return here. Portia knew this place and how to get here, which meant Mller would eventually find out about it. He had no doubt that blood was thicker than water and that once Portia had gotten over the initial shock of what had happened, she would side with her father.
In hindsight it had been stupid not to kill her on the spot, but the thought of shedding her blood had made him recoil. As much as he knew that he had to eliminate her just like her father so that no evil remained, there was a part of him that protested loudly. He tried not to listen, but the voice inside nagged.
"Z! Where the f.u.c.k are you?" he yelled for the dog, looking for an outlet for his anger.
There was a soft whine coming from the inside of the cabin. Zane stalked inside, his boots causing the porch to vibrate as he trampled across and barreled inside.
He found the animal curled up in front of the fireplace, his snout buried in a piece of fabric. Zane stepped closer and recognized what Z was suddenly so fond of: one of Portia's bras.
Zane stopped in his tracks. He hadn't even given her a chance to pack or take any of her things. Even her wallet was still here, as was her cell phone and all her clothes. He'd sent her out into the cold without anything, being the heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.d he was.
The dog snuggled deeper into one of the cups of the bra, inhaling her lingering scent.
"Stop it, Z!" he admonished. "She's not coming back. Ever!"
Not after the way he'd treated her, the way he'd threatened her. Threatened to kill her. G.o.d, what kind of a monster would say that to the woman he loved? What kind of brutal a.s.shole would toss out the love of his life because of where she came from, because of who her sire was? Had he no heart? No compa.s.sion? No
The dog looked up at him with big round puppy eyes before digging his snout back into the Portia-scented bra. His dog had no scruples. He followed only his heart, not understanding anything else. If only Zane could do the same, but his mind didn't allow it.
His entire life was based on his one goal of avenging his family, and more specifically his sister, the innocent Rachel, the child who'd never been given a chance at life as a woman. The sister he'd killed because she'd begged him to.
He couldn't suddenly change the direction of his life, throw everything away and betray Rachel because he'd fallen in love with his enemy's daughter. Rachel would never forgive him. And he owed her this. He'd promised her to get justice for her and all the others who had died at Mller's hands. He wouldn't rest until he'd fulfilled that promise.
His own wishes didn't matter. He'd lived without love for the last six decades. So what made things so different now? Why could he not let go of what he felt for her? Didn't his heart understand that the love he'd felt for her couldn't survive, wasn't allowed to survive?
"Stupid dog!" he shouted and yanked the bra from his paws, fully intent on tossing the item into the fire, where a few embers still smoldered. But the strength to do so left him when Portia's scent drifted into his nose and drugged him.
Unable to gather enough strength to keep himself upright, he fell to his knees and caught his head in his palms, feeling as devastated as he had the night he'd ended Rachel's life. How many more losses could he survive before everything was finally too much for him, before he walked into the sun and ended it all?
His breakdown had cost him a precious hour, one, it turned out he didn't have to spare. But what was done was done.
When Zane heard the SUV come up the driveway, its lights already illuminating one side of the cabin, he knew his gig was up. They'd found him.
As soon as the car stopped, its engine still running, Samson jumped out of the car, followed by Eddie, Amaury, and Haven. Haven's presence could only mean that Samson had put his crew together in a hurry, taking whoever was available at short notice, because Haven, Yvette's mate, didn't even work for Scanguards. However, that didn't make him a lesser foe.
The four vampires rushed up the stairs. Zane stood there, calmly waiting for them, knowing that a fight would be fruitless. Four vampires against one were odds he didn't like.
"How did you find me?" he asked evenly, meeting Samson's glare.
Eddie replied, Samson clearly too angry to have a civil word. "Thomas traced a utility bill you paid online. It was for this place. You could have invited us for some skiing, but no, you kept this cabin all to yourself."
Zane shrugged, wanting to maintain his outward calm, even if he felt nothing of the sort on the inside. His gut had just been torn out and fed to the wolves. All that was left was an empty sh.e.l.l.
"Where is she? What have you done with her?" Samson yelled only inches from his face.
"She's gone."
Samson jolted back, an expression of utter shock on his face. "You hurt her? You f.u.c.king a.s.shole, you hurt her?"
His heart rebelled. "Never!" Even if he'd made her believe that he would, he'd rather catapult himself into a wooden stake than willingly harm a hair on Portia's head. Yeah, that's how screwed up he was.
"Then where are you keeping her?"
Next to Samson, Amaury and Haven stormed into the cabin, calling out her name.
"I told you she's gone."
"What the f.u.c.k does that mean?" Samson growled low and dark, his fangs peeking from between his lips, his eyes glaring red in the dark.
"The house is empty," came Amaury's voice from the inside.
Samson grabbed Zane by the elbow and shoved him inside. From his favorite place at the fireplace, Z barked angrily.
Haven came from the bedroom, carrying Portia's backpack. He pulled a pair of panties from it. "Doesn't look like your size, Zane," he snarled.
"She left two hours ago."
Samson narrowed his eyes, scanning the open plan kitchen. His eyes fell onto the spot where Zane had left Portia's wallet. "Without her stuff? How stupid do you think we are?"
Samson motioned to Haven to bring him the bag. He took a whiff of the smell that clung to it, then took a step closer to Zane, inhaling once more.
"You had her, didn't you? You f.u.c.king jerk couldn't keep your hands off her, could you?"
Why ask him something Samson already knew? "She begged me to do it."
"And her blood? I can smell her blood on you! You had to take everything, didn't you?"
He shrugged, the motion hurting because he tried to pretend so hard that he didn't care. "She offered. Never turn down a gift horse." G.o.d, he hated himself for the way he spoke about her, as if it had meant nothing, when it had meant everything to him.
Samson's fist whipped Zane's head sideways, the pain instantly radiating down his spine. f.u.c.k, his boss was still as fast as ever, and he packed a vicious punch.
"There's blood on the sheets," Eddie's voice suddenly announced.
Everybody turned to where he stood in the door to the bedroom.
Samson rushed past Zane and headed for it. Zane followed, not because he particularly wanted to but because he hated it when others violated his s.p.a.ce. He didn't want them touching anything else, and especially not the place where he and Portia had lain together in complete and utter bliss.
As Samson stopped in front of the bed, its sheets tangled from the last time Zane and Portia had made love, the rest of the vampires crowded into the s.p.a.ce.
Eddie pointed to a small spot in the center of the bed. "There. That's blood."
When Samson turned slowly, for the first time since he'd arrived at the cabin, his features showed something other than outrage. A small flicker of realization shone through his eyes, together with a sigh of relief. Had Samson really expected to find a bloodbath in the bedroom?
"She was a virgin, just like she told me," Zane admitted. And n.o.body had believed him. "I did what I had to do."
Samson closed his eyes. "It doesn't change anything about what you did. You kidnapped her."
"She asked me to do it!" Zane snarled.
"It wasn't for her to ask. She's a minor! And she was in your care!" Samson yelled.
"Oh, I took care of her."
"You were her bodyguard. Nowhere in our rules does that allow you to touch her! You f.u.c.king s.h.i.+t!"
That did it. "I don't care about your rules! I quit!"
"You don't get to quit! This is not over! Not by a long shot!" Samson ran his hands through his dark hair and motioned to Haven and Eddie. "Handcuff him and get him to the jet. Amaury and I will take Zane's Hummer."
Then he gave Zane another look. "If you harmed her, I will have you executed."
Haven slipped his gloves on and pulled something from his jacket pocket. Zane glanced at it, recognizing the silver handcuffs instantly.
"a.s.sholes!"
But he didn't protest when they laid the silver restraints on his wrists and clicked them shut, nor did he show any outward signs of the pain the silver caused him. His skin hissed, and the smell of burning flesh spread in the crowded room, but he merely clenched his jaw, not allowing any sound of pain to come over his lips.
"One last time: where is she?" Samson asked.
Zane lifted his head. "She ran away when I told her that I didn't want to see her anymore." It was the truth, in a way. He omitted that he'd also threatened her. It wasn't Samson's business. What was true was that he hadn't harmed her.
"She thinks she loves me," he said more to himself than to the others. She would get over it. She was young, and right now she hated him. It would make things easier. As for how he would survive the pain, he was lost for an answer.
"Amaury," Samson ordered, "you and I, we'll canva.s.s the surroundings, see if we can pick up her scent or any trail in the snow. We have to find her."
Amaury nodded, then tossed Zane a p.i.s.sed off look. "You've got a lot of explaining to do. And if you think you'll get off easy, think again. Samson is being lenient when he offers you an execution. I have other ideas to make you pay, a.s.shole."
"I haven't done anything to her," Zane hissed.
"You have no clue about women! Maybe you haven't hurt her physically, but you have no idea what women are capable of doing to themselves when they feel wronged. Ever thought of that?" Amaury turned to follow Samson outside.
No, Portia wouldn't hurt herself. She was strong. She was a survivor. He didn't want to believe it. Trying to push Amaury's last words from his mind, Zane looked at his two jailors. "Great, I got stuck with you two: a civilian and a newbie."
Haven bent closer. "I'm not susceptible to your little digs, so save your breath."
Zane growled and walked into the living room, flanked by Eddie and Haven. Z waddled toward him, a confused look on his face, dragging Portia's bra with him between this teeth.
"We can't leave him here." Zane motioned his bound hands toward the dog.
Haven raised an inquiring eyebrow, and Eddie twisted his lips. "You thought we were gonna leave the pup?" Eddie asked and shook his head. "We're not heartless."
"Unlike other people here," Haven added.
"If I had a heart, I'd be wounded now," Zane snapped, "luckily, I'm all out of heart for today. So get a move on."