Chapter 118
"Then I went to get another pair of shoes out of my house and found it trashed by them again..."
"Again?" His voice rose. "There was a first time I didn't know about?"
I ignored his question. "Well, it just p.i.s.sed me off, havin' to get another cleanin' crew to come and clean up his mess again."
"So what? You came here to make him write you a check?"
"No, I came here to save you."
"I didn't need you savin' me."
"Yeah, I could see that, what with the gun pointed to your head and all."
His face softened and reached his hand up to touch my bruised cheek. "I almost lost it when he hit you."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't. It would have ruined everything."
"What? You had a plan?"
"No, I just kind of winged it."
"Why in G.o.d's name did you taunt him into bringin' you up here? When I heard that gunshot, I almost had a heart attack. I had to push my way through the DEA agents that showed up to bust the place. I nearly got myself shot tryin' to get up here to you."
"I had a gun. The gun you hid in my shed. I thought if I got Crocker alone, I could keep him from you until what you needed to happen, happened."
"So you knew how to turn off the safety?"
"Safety?"
Joe's eyes got as big as the pancakes they serve at The Waffle House.
I shrugged. "I figured out it was loaded, not an easy task, and I stuck it in the waistband of my jeans. And then when all the noise started happenin' downstairs, I bit him on the lip."
I could have sworn Joe's face paled and then reddened.
"You realize there were so many problems with that plan that you are lucky to be standin' here."
"It was all I had."
"No," he growled. "You could have stayed away."
I groaned in frustration. "That again? I had to do it, Joe. Could you have sat at home, watchin' a show about prairie dogs, knowin' I was probably gonna be killed?"
He didn't answer.
"Yeah, you proved that you couldn't last night. Why is what I did any different?"
"Because I'm a cop!" he shouted. "That's what I've been trained to do!"
I stepped backward in disbelief. "What?"
"I was undercover, investigatin' this mess. I'm with the state police."
"So you're not a criminal?" I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or angry. I let myself have both. "You lied to me?"
"Yes, no." Joe shook his head, looking frustrated.
"You really were just usin' me?"
He didn't answer right away and I had all the answers I needed. I headed for the open door.
Joe stepped in front of me. "Rose! Wait! I was investigatin' Crocker's stolen-parts ring. I was a mechanic and worked on the delivery trucks that came in for their bogus maintenance runs. Instead, they were leavin' with stolen parts and the pot Crocker grew in his warehouse. I wasn't even involved in the drug traffickin' part until Sloan got into trouble with Crocker over the missin' flash drive."
"And me." I reminded him, my voice cold. "Until you thought I had the flash drive. You really wanted it for the police, but it got you into Crocker's good graces."
The look on his face confirmed it. I tried to step around him again.
"So what's on this precious flash drive everyone wants? It must be somethin' special to kill people and waste time foolin' stupid me." I glared up at him.
"Rose, I swear it wasn't like that!"
"You just saved me last night because it was gonna look bad that an innocent taxpayin' citizen got killed by mistake."
His face hardened. "You're wrong there. They offered you immunity up until Sat.u.r.day afternoon, the phone call I got after lunch. Then they said they wanted you to go through with meetin' Crocker. They were worried if you didn't show, the big meetin' today wouldn't happen."
My heart dropped into my toes. "I see," I said, letting it sink in. "So how did you save me then? Why?"
"By disobeying direct orders. When my superiors find out what I did, I'm liable to lose my job. But I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt."
"Am I supposed to feel grateful or sorry for that?" I shouted, about to burst into tears. "I saved you because I care about you Joe McAllister! Not because I felt guilty! Okay, a little because I felt guilty, since I thought you were gonna die because of me. But I saved you because I couldn't bear for somethin' to happen to you. I like you. Or I thought I did." I stepped to my left to get around him.
Joe moved in front of me again. "Rose, that came out wrong, that's not what I meant!"
"You were gonna arrest me, weren't you?"
He didn't answer, guilt in his eyes.
"Get out of my way, Joe McAllister."
Hilary stood in the doorway. "Joe, we need you downstairs."
I stared at her, then back at Joe. "So is she your girlfriend or not?"
"Was. What I told you the night we ate Chinese was true."
I studied the man I thought I knew, my heart shattering into pieces. "Thanks for tellin' me the truth about somethin'." I walked around him and Hilary backed out of the doorway onto the stairs.
"Rose! Wait!" Joe shouted, running after me.
Hilary blocked his path. "She just needs
I walked down the stairs, realizing my s.h.i.+rt still hung open, my black bra hanging out for the world to see. Even though it seemed the least of my worries, I grabbed the torn edges with my hand to hold it shut.
"Rose, you can't leave yet," Hilary called out. "We still need a statement from you."
"I don't care. I'm goin' home. You know where to find me." I walked through the handcuffed men and DEA agents in bulletproof vests, then headed for the wide open doors in the center. m.u.f.fy appeared next to me.
"Come on, m.u.f.fy. Let's go home."
I parked Mildred's car in her driveway, like nothing had ever happened. I would have filled up the gas tank, but I didn't have any money. Heavens knew where my purse was.
As soon as I got in the house, I called Violet at Aunt Bessie's. I a.s.sured her I was fine and that it was all over. When she asked about Joe, I told her he was fine, too. I didn't feel like explaining anything else. Turned out he'd told her the night before that he was with the state police. I guessed I was the last to know.
I took a long shower, my body aching from all the beating it had received. I was thankful I didn't have to worry about someone coming in and surprising me. I also felt a sense of relief, knowing that m.u.f.fy stood guard next to the tub if they did. I'd never doubt her guard-dog capabilities again.
I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through my house, the events of the last couple weeks playing in my mind, exhausted but too riled up to sleep. Around seven, I heard the whine of a small motor in the kitchen.
The side door stood partially open and Joe had a drill, removing my locks.
"What are you doin'?" I asked, irritated at the little skip in my heart at the sight of him. I stopped in front of the opening.
He stood up and reached out his right hand to me, wanting to shake my hand.
I tilted my head and looked at him like he'd just escaped from the funny farm.
"I'm Joe." He shook my hand and gave me a hesitant smile. "I'm your next door neighbor. I saw you had some broken locks and thought I'd do the neighborly thing and fix 'em for you."
"You don't have to..."
He picked up the drill again, working on the screws. "I'm a mechanic. And a cop, although I'm not sure I'll be one for much longer. I grew up in El Dorado. My parents still live there. My little sister lives in Little Rock." He looked up, his eyes pleading with me to listen. "That's where I live, too, in Little Rock. I have an apartment there."
"Joe."
He put the drill down, stood up and took my hand in his. "Here's the thing. I met this girl, this beautiful woman who's unlike anyone I've ever met. She's funny, and brave and has packed more into her life in the last few weeks than most people do in their entire lives."
My eyes started to burn.
"I find myself thinking about her all the time. But I hurt her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I'd do anything to take back the pain I caused, but I don't think she'll listen to me. So the only thing I know to do is start over, then maybe she'll give me another chance." When I didn't say anything, he pulled me into his arms, looking into my eyes for a sign that I forgave him. "Do you think there's any way she can give me another chance?"
I'd wrestled with myself all afternoon. I knew Joe was doing his job, that it wasn't personal. I had to look past my own feelings and look at the bigger picture. But how did I know what was real and what wasn't, especially in regard to his feelings for me.
I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed. "This woman, perhaps she doesn't know what to believe. Maybe she forgives you for doing your job but feels like everything else was a lie."
The soft pitter-patter of raindrops beginning to hit the leaves and the cars caught me by surprise. The dark clouds that had shrouded the sky all day finally let loose.
Joe cupped my cheek carefully with his hand. His thumb ran under the bruise on my cheekbone. "My feelings for you weren't a lie. But that's why I wanted to wait to sleep together, so there wouldn't be any doubt in your mind." He paused, searching my eyes. "I would do anything to prove it to you."
The corners of my mouth lifted into a small smile. "I'm Rose. I've not done much living in my life, but I met this guy who makes me want to live it. He doesn't even think it's strange I have visions, but he wasn't who I thought he was."
Joe's eyes clouded.
"I hope to get to know the real him. And besides, he promised to help me fulfill my last wish, play in the rain."
Joe's face lit up right before he kissed me, almost making me forget about the rain. He was always making me forget things. He didn't forget anything though. He grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. He kissed me again as the gentle rain seeped into our hair and clothes.
"Joe McAllister, I thought we were supposed to be playing in the rain."
"I am playing." He laughed before kissing me again, happiness radiating from him.
Just when I was about to suggest we go inside before Mildred got more of a show than she wanted, Joe whispered in my ear.
"One more thing. My name's not Joe McAllister."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN.
I didn't want to go to work the next day, but I'd already taken two weeks off and couldn't afford to take off any more days. I was out of vacation time. I had all of Dora's money, but I hadn't figured out what to do with it. So, for the moment, I pretended it didn't exist.
I almost called in sick anyway. I looked like a domestic-violence victim with the bruises on my cheek and slightly swollen eye, making me wish I had gotten concealer when I bought my other makeup. It didn't help that I was sleep-deprived. Between giving my statement to Hilary, who showed up around nine, and Joe keeping me up half the night, I was beyond tired.
But happy. For the first time, I felt like I actually had a life worth living.
I still hadn't gotten my car back, so Joe drove me to work. I suspected he would hold off getting it as long as possible. He was trying to find a way to spend every minute he could with me before he went back to Little Rock in a few days. Neither one of us wanted to talk about it, but we also knew our relations.h.i.+p was too new to promise each other anything other than the vow to see each other as often as possible. It hung over our heads like a big cloud of loneliness.
At work, I settled into my desk and turned on the computer, making sure the drawers were stocked with forms, the printer full of paper. Suzanne sat down next to me a few minutes later and was surprisingly quiet. I expected her to mock my bruises or be hateful that I had just taken off another week, but she sat at her desk, subdued.
Just then, it occurred to me the DEA had never figured out who had the real flash drive.
I spent the morning trying to figure out how to get her to confess, like she'd tell me she had a flash drive wanted by law enforcement officials and crime lords. She wouldn't even tell me what she had for dinner the night before. But she seemed sad, so I tried being nice.
"Is everything okay?" I asked in a moment when neither of us had clients.
"What do you care?" she asked with a sneer, but I heard the tears in her voice.
"Look, Suzanne, I know we've had our differences, but I can see you're upset and I just want you to know if you need someone to talk to, I'll be happy to listen."
"Why would you do that? I've been nothin' but mean to you."
"Because you look like you're hurtin'." I surprised myself when I realized it was true. I wasn't just trying to get information from her.
Customers appeared at both of our counters and we were busy for another half an hour before we had a rare lapse close to noon.