Chapter 63
"Yes. It only made the child angry, Phil; so don't worry."
"No; I won't worry. No, I--I won't. You are quite right, Nina. But the pity of it; that tight, hard-sh.e.l.led woman of the world--to do such a thing--to a young girl."
"Rosamund is Rosamund," said Nina with a shrug; "the antidote to her species is obvious."
"Right, thank G.o.d!" said Selwyn between his teeth; "_Mens sana in corpore sano_! bless her little heart! I'm glad you told me this, Nina."
He rose and laughed a little--a curious sort of laugh; and Nina watched him, perplexed.
"Where are you going, Phil?" she asked.
"I don't know. I--where is Eileen?"
"She's lying down--a headache; probably too much sun and salt water.
Shall I send for her?"
"No; I'll go up and inquire how she is. Susanne is there, isn't she?"
And he entered the house and ascended the stairs.
The little Alsatian maid was seated in a corner of the upper hall, sewing; and she informed Selwyn that mademoiselle "had bad in ze h'ead."
But at the sound of conversation in the corridor Eileen's gay voice came to them from her room, asking who it was; and she evidently knew, for there was a hint of laughter in her tone.
"It is I. Are you better?" said Selwyn.
"Yes. D-did you wish to see me?"
"I always do."
"Thank you.... I mean, do you wish to see me now? Because I'm very much occupied in trying to go to sleep."
"Yes, I wish to see you at once."
"Particularly?"
"Very particularly."
"Oh, if it's as serious as that, you alarm me. I'm afraid to come."
"I'm afraid to have you. But please come."
He heard her laugh to herself; then her clear, amused voice: "What are you going to say to me if I come out?"
"Something dreadful! Hurry!"
"Oh, if that's the case I'll hurry," she returned, and a moment later the door opened and she emerged in a breezy flutter of silvery ribbons and loosened ruddy hair.
She was dressed in some sort of delicate misty stuff that alternately clung and floated, outlining or clouding her glorious young figure as she moved with leisurely free-limbed grace across the hall to meet him.
The pretty greeting she always reserved for him, even if their separation had been for a few minutes only, she now offered, hand extended; a cool, fragrant hand which lay for a second in his, closed, and withdrew, leaving her eyes very friendly.
"Come out on the west veranda,"
He followed her to the veranda; she seated herself in the broad swing, and moved so that her invitation to him was unmistakable. Then when he had taken the place beside her she turned toward him very frankly, and he looked up to encounter her beautiful direct gaze.
"What is disturbing our friends.h.i.+p?" she asked. "Do you know? I don't. I went to my room after luncheon and lay down on my bed and quietly deliberated. And do you know what conclusion I have reached?"
"What?" he asked.
"That there is nothing at all to disturb our friends.h.i.+p. And that what I said to you on the beach was foolish. I don't know why I said it; I'm not the sort of girl who says such stupid things--though I was apparently, for that one moment. And what I said about Gladys was childish; I am not jealous of her, Captain Selwyn. Don't think me silly or perverse or sentimental, will you?"
"No, I won't."
She smiled at him with a trifle less courage--a trifle more self-consciousness: "And--and as for what I called you--"
"You mean when you called me by my first name, and I teased you?"
"Y-es. I was silly to do it; sillier to be ashamed of doing it. There's a great deal of the callow schoolgirl in me yet, you see. The wise, amused smile of a man can sometimes stampede my self-possession and leave me blus.h.i.+ng like any ninny in dire confusion.... It was very, very mean of you--for the blood across your face did shock me....
And, by myself, and in my very private thoughts, I do sometimes call you--by your first name.... And that explains it.... Now, what have you to say to me?"
"I wish to ask you something."
"With pleasure," she said; "go ahead." And she settled back, fearlessly expectant.
"Very well, then," he said, striving to speak coolly. "It is this: Will you marry me, Eileen?"
She turned perfectly white and stared at him, stunned. And he repeated his question, speaking slowly, but unsteadily.
"N-no," she said; "I cannot. Why--why, you know that, don't you?"
"Will you tell me why, Eileen?"
"I--I don't know why. I think--I suppose that it is because I do not love you--that way."
"Yes," he said, "that, of course, is the reason. I wonder--do you suppose that--in time--perhaps--you might care for me--that way?"
"I don't know." She glanced up at him fearfully, fascinated, yet repelled. "I don't know," she repeated pitifully. "Is it--can't you help thinking of me in that way? Can't you be as you were?"
"No, I can no longer help it. I don't want to help it, Eileen."
"But--I wish you to," she said in a low voice. "It is that which is coming between us. Oh, don't you see it is? Don't you feel it--feel what it is doing to us? Don't you understand how it is driving me back into myself? Whom am I to go to if not to you? What am I to do if your affection turns into this--this different att.i.tude toward me? You were so perfectly sweet and reasonable--so good, so patient; and now--and now I am losing confidence in you--in myself--in our friends.h.i.+p.
I'm no longer frank with you; I'm afraid at times--afraid and self-conscious--conscious of you, too--afraid of what seemed once the most natural of intimacies. I--I loved you so dearly--so fearlessly--"
Tears blinded her; she bent her head, and they fell on the soft delicate stuff of her gown, flas.h.i.+ng downward in the sunlight.
"Dear," he said gently, "nothing is altered between us. I love you in that way, too."
"D-do you--really?" she stammered, shrinking away from him.