Chapter 47
"No. I will act, not threaten."
"Ah," drawled Ruthven, "I may do the same the next time my wife spends the evening in your apartment."
"You lie," said Selwyn in a voice made low by surprise.
"Oh, no, I don't. Very chivalrous of you--quite proper for you to deny it like a gentleman--but useless, quite useless. So the less said about invoking the law, the better for--some people. You'll agree with me, I dare say.... And now, concerning your friend, Gerald Erroll--I have not the slightest desire to see him play cards. Whether or not he plays is a matter perfectly indifferent to me, and you had better understand it. But if you come here demanding that I arrange my guest-lists to suit you, you are losing time."
Selwyn, almost stunned at Ruthven's knowledge of the episode in his rooms, had risen as he gave the man the lie direct.
For an instant, now, as he stared at him, there was murder in his eye.
Then the utter hopeless helplessness of his position overwhelmed him, as Ruthven, with danger written all over him, stood up, his soft smooth thumbs hooked in the glittering sash of his kimona.
"Scowl if you like," he said, backing away instinctively, but still nervously impertinent; "and keep your distance! If you've anything further to say to me, write it." Then, growing bolder as Selwyn made no offensive move, "Write to me," he repeated with a venomous smirk; "it's safer for you to figure as _my_ correspondent than as my wife's co-respondent--L-let go of me! W-what the devil are you d-d-doing--"
For Selwyn had him fast--one sinewy hand twisted in his silken collar, holding him squirming at arm's length.
"M-murder!" stammered Mr. Ruthven.
"No," said Selwyn, "not this time. But be very, very careful after this."
And he let him go with an involuntary shudder, and wiped his hands on his handkerchief.
Ruthven stood quite still; and after a moment the livid terror died out in his face and a rus.h.i.+ng flush spread over it--a strange, dreadful shade, curiously opaque; and he half turned, dizzily, hands outstretched for self-support.
Selwyn coolly watched him as he sank on to the couch and sat huddled together and leaning forward, his soft, ringed fingers covering his impurpled face.
Then Selwyn went away with a shrug of utter loathing; but after he had gone, and Ruthven's servants had discovered him and summoned a physician, their master lay heavily amid his painted draperies and cus.h.i.+ons, his congested features set, his eyes partly open and possessing sight, but the whites of them had disappeared and the eyes themselves, save for the pupils, were like two dark slits filled with blood.
There was no doubt about it; the doctors, one and all, knew their business when they had so often cautioned Mr. Ruthven to avoid sudden and excessive emotions.
That night Selwyn wrote briefly to Mrs. Ruthven:
"I saw your husband this afternoon. He is at liberty to inform you of what pa.s.sed. But in case he does not, there is one detail which you ought to know: your husband believes that you once paid a visit to my apartments. It is unlikely that he will repeat the accusation and I think there is no occasion for you to worry. However, it is only proper that you should know this--which is my only excuse for writing you a letter that requires no acknowledgment. Very truly yours,
"PHILIP SELWYN."
To this letter she wrote an excited and somewhat incoherent reply; and rereading it in troubled surprise, he began to recognise in it something of the strange, illogical, impulsive att.i.tude which had confronted him in the first weeks of his wedded life.
Here was the same minor undertone of unrest sounding ominously through every line; the same illogical, unhappy att.i.tude which implied so much and said so
He wrote in answer:
"For the first time in my life I am going to write you some unpleasant truths. I cannot comprehend what you have written; I cannot interpret what you evidently imagine I must divine in these pages--yet, as I read, striving to understand, all the old familiar pain returns--the hopeless attempt to realise wherein I failed in what you expected of me.
"But how can I, now, be held responsible for your unhappiness and unrest--for the malicious att.i.tude, as you call it, of the world toward you? Years ago you felt that there existed some occult coalition against you, and that I was either privy to it or indifferent. I was not indifferent, but I did not believe there existed any reason for your suspicions. This was the beginning of my failure to understand you; I was sensible enough that we were unhappy, yet could not see any reason for it--could see no reason for the increasing restlessness and discontent which came over you like successive waves following some brief happy interval when your gaiety and beauty and wit fairly dazzled me and everybody who came near you. And then, always hateful and irresistible, followed the days of depression, of incomprehensible impulses, of that strange unreasoning resentment toward me.
"What could I do? I don't for a moment say that there was nothing I might have done. Certainly there must have been something; but I did not know what. And often in my confusion and bewilderment I was quick-tempered, impatient to the point of exasperation--so utterly unable was I to understand wherein I was failing to make you contented.
"Of course I could not s.h.i.+rk or avoid field duty or any of the details which so constantly took me away from you. Also I began to understand your impatience of garrison life, of the monotony of the place, of the climate, of the people. But all this, which I could not help, did not account for those dreadful days together when I could see that every minute was widening the breach between us.
"Alixe--your letter has brought it all back, vivid, distressing, exasperating; and this time I _know_ that I could have done nothing to render you unhappy, because the time when I was responsible for such matters is past.
"And this--forgive me if I say it--arouses a doubt in me--the first honest doubt I have had of my own unshared culpability. Perhaps after all a little more was due from you than what you brought to our partners.h.i.+p--a little more patience, a little more appreciation of my own inexperience and of my efforts to make you happy. You were, perhaps, unwittingly exacting--even a little bit selfish. And those sudden, impulsive caprices for a change of environment--an escape from the familiar--were they not rather hard on me who could do nothing--who had no choice in the matter of obedience to my superiors?
"Again and again I asked you to go to some decent climate and wait for me until I could get leave. I stood ready and willing to make any arrangement for you, and you made no decision.
"Then when Barnard's command moved out we had our last distressing interview. And, if that night I spoke of your present husband and asked you to be a little wiser and use a little more discretion to avoid malicious comment--it was not because I dreamed of distrusting you--it was merely for your own guidance and because you had so often complained of other people's gossip about you.
"To say I was stunned, crushed, when I learned of what had happened in my absence, is to repeat a trite phrase. What it cost me is of no consequence now; what it is now costing you I cannot help.
"Yet, your letter, in every line, seems to imply some strange responsibility on my part for what you speak of as the degrading position you now occupy.
"Degradation or not--let us leave that aside; you cannot now avoid being his wife. But as for any hostile att.i.tude of society in your regard--any league or coalition to discredit you--that is not apparent to me. Nor can it occur if your personal att.i.tude toward the world is correct. Discretion and circ.u.mspection, a happy, confident confronting of life--these, and a wise recognition of conditions, const.i.tute sufficient safeguard for a woman in your delicately balanced position.
"And now, one thing more. You ask me to meet you at Sherry's for a conference. I don't care to, Alixe. There is nothing to be said except what can be written on letter-paper. And I can see neither the necessity nor the wisdom of our writing any more letters."
For a few days no reply came; then he received such a strange, unhappy, and desperate letter, that, astonished, alarmed, and apprehensive, he went straight to his sister, who had run up to town for the day from Silverside, and who had telephoned him to take her somewhere for luncheon.
Nina appeared very gay and happy and youthful in her spring plumage, but she exclaimed impatiently at his tired and careworn pallor; and when a little later they were seated tete-a-tete in the rococo dining-room of a popular French restaurant, she began to urge him to return with her, insisting that a week-end at Silverside was what he needed to avert physical disintegration.
"What is there to keep you in town?" she demanded, breaking bits from the stick of crisp bread. "The children have been clamouring for you day and night, and Eileen has been expecting a letter--You promised to write her, Phil--!"
"I'm going to write to her," he said impatiently; "wait a moment, Nina--don't speak of anything pleasant or--or intimate just now--because--because I've got to bring up another matter--something not very pleasant to me or to you. May I begin?"
"What is it, Phil?" she asked, her quick, curious eyes intent on his troubled face.
"It is about--Alixe."
"What about her?" returned his sister calmly.
"You knew her in school--years ago. You have always known her--"
"Yes."
"You--did you ever visit her?--stay at the Varians' house?"
"Yes."
"In--in her own home in Westchester?"
"Yes."
There was a silence; his eyes s.h.i.+fted to his plate; remained fixed as he said:
"Then you knew her--father?"
"Yes, Phil," she said quietly, "I knew Mr. Varian."
"Was there anything--anything unusual--about him--in those days?"