Chapter 31
"Where did she go?" Zelandoni said, rephrasing her question.
"Went to the burial," Lanoga said.
"Who is taking care of the children?"
"I am.
"But you're not able to feed that baby," Ayla said, shocked. "You can't nurse."
"I can feed her," Lanoga said, a defensive tone in her voice. "She eats food. The milk dried up."
"Which means Tremeda will have another baby within a year," Zelandoni said under her breath.
"I know babies that young can eat food if they have to," Ayla said, sympathetically, feeling a twinge of painful memory. "What do you feed her, Lanoga?"
"Mashed-up boiled roots," she said.
"Ayla, will you go tell Joharran what happened, and ask him to come here with something to carry Bologan to my dwelling? And some help to carry him?" Zelandoni said.
"Yes, of course. I'll be right back," Ayla said, hurrying away.
It was late in the afternoon when Ayla left Zelandonii dwelling and hurried toward the leader's. She had been helping the Ninth Cave's healer and was going to tell Joharran that Bologan was awake and seemed to be coherent enough to talk.
Joharran had been waiting for her. After he left, Proleva said, "Would you like something to eat? You've been with Zelandoni all afternoon." Ayla shook her head and started to go. She opened her mouth to make apologies, but Proleva quickly added, "Or maybe a cup of tea? I have some tea ready. It's chamomile, lavender, and linden flower."
"Well, maybe a cup, but I need to get back soon," Ayla said. As she got out her drinking cup, she wondered if the mixture had been suggested by Zelandoni or whether Proleva realized that it was a good drink for pregnant women. It was innocuous, with only a mildly calming effect. She took a sip of the hot tea the woman ladled into her cup and savored the taste. It did have a nice flavor, and anybody could drink it, not just pregnant women.
"How is Bologan?" the leader's mate asked as she sat down beside Ayla with her own cup.
"I think he will be fine. He had a bad knock on the head, bled a lot. I was afraid the bone might have been cracked, but head wounds do tend to bleed heavily. We cleaned him and couldn't find any evidence of a break, but he does have a big swollen lump, and other injuries. He needs rest and care right now. It seems obvious that he was in a fight, and he was drinking barma."
"That's what Joharran wanted to talk to him about," Proleva said.
"The one that worries me even more is that baby," Ayla said. "She needs to be nursed. I'd think other nursing mothers could give a little of their milk to her. Women of the Clan did when..." she hesitated a moment "...a woman lost her milk early. She had been taking care of her mother, and grieved too much when she died." Ayla decided to refrain from mentioning that she was the woman who had lost her milk; she hadn't yet told anyone that she'd had a son when she was living with the Clan. "I asked Lanoga what she fed her. She said mashed-up roots. I know children that young can eat food, but all babies need milk, too. She won't grow right without it."
"You're right, Ayla. Babies do need milk. I'm afraid no one has been paying attention to Tremeda and her family. We know the children are not very well cared for, but they are Tremeda's children, and people don't like to interfere in other people's lives. It's hard to know what to do about them, so most of us just ignore them. I didn't even know she had lost her milk," Proleva said.
"Why didn't Laramar say something?" Ayla asked.
"I doubt that he even noticed. He doesn't pay any attention to the children, except Bologan, occasionally. I'm not sure he even knows how many there are," Proleva said. "He goes there only to eat and sleep and sometimes not even for that, which may be for the best. When they are together, Laramar and Tremeda argue all the time. It often leads to real fights, which invariably she gets the worst of."
"Why does she stay with him?" Ayla asked. "She could leave him if she wanted to, couldn't she?"
"Where would she go? Her mother is dead, and she never mated, so there never was a man at their hearth. Tremeda had an older brother, but he moved away before she grew up, first to another Cave, and then farther away. No one has heard anything about him in years," Proleva said.
"Couldn't she find another man?" Ayla asked.
"Who would have her? It's true, she manages to find some man to honor the Mother with her at a Mother Festival, usually someone who's had too much barma, or meadow mushrooms, or something else, but she's not exactly a prize. And she has six children that need to be provided for."
"Six children?" Ayla said. "I saw four, or possibly five. How many years can they count?"
"Bologan is the eldest. He can count twelve years," Proleva said.
"I guessed that," Ayla said.
"Lanoga can count ten years," Proleva continued. "Then, there's an eight-year, a six-year, a two-year, and the baby. She's only some moons, about a half-year. Tremeda had another one who would be a four-year, but he died."
"I'm afraid this baby will die. I examined her, she is not healthy. I know you said food is shared, but what about babies who need milk? Are Zelandonii women willing to share their milk?" Ayla asked.
"If it were anyone but Tremeda, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes," Proleva said.
"That baby is not Tremeda," Ayla said. "She's just a helpless infant. If my baby were here, I wouldn't hesitate to share my milk with her, but by the time mine is born, she may already be gone. Even by the rime yours is born, it may be too late."
Proleva bowed her head and smiled self-consciously. "How did you know? I haven't told anyone yet."
It was Ayla's turn to feel self-conscious. She hadn't meant to presume. It was usually the mother's prerogative to announce that she was expecting a child. "I am a medicine woman, a healer," she explained. "I have helped women give birth and know the signs of pregnancy. I didn't mean to mention it until you were ready. I was just concerned about Tremeda's baby."
"I know. I don't mind, Ayla. I was getting ready to tell people anyway," Proleva said, "but I didn't know you were expecting. That means our babies will be born close together. I'm glad." She paused for a while, thinking, then she said, "I'll tell you what I think we should do. Let me get together the women who have young infants, or are almost ready to give birth. They're the ones whose milk hasn't yet adjusted to their own baby's needs and have extra. You and I can talk to them about helping to feed Tremeda's baby"
"If several of them share it, it won't be too much of a drain on any one of them," Ayla said, then she frowned. "The trouble is, that baby really needs more than milk. She needs better care. How could Tremeda leave an infant for so long with a girl who can count only ten years?" Ayla said. "Not to mention all the rest of the children. It's too much to expect of a ten-year."
"They probably get better care from Lanoga than from Tremeda," Proleva said.
"But that doesn't mean someone so young should have to do it," Ayla said. "What's wrong with Laramar? Why isn't he doing something to help? Tremeda is his mate, isn't she? They are the children of his hearth, aren't they?"
"Those are questions many of us have asked," Proleva said. "We don't have answers. Many people have spoken to Laramar, including Joharran and Marthona. It makes no difference. Laramar doesn't care what anyone says. He knows that no matter what he does, people will want that drink he makes. And Tremeda is just as bad in her own way. She is so often in a stupor from his barma, she hardly knows what goes on around her. Neither one of them seem to care about the children, I don't know why the Great Earth Mother keeps giving her more. No one really knows what to do." There was frustration and sadness in the voice of the tall, handsome woman who was the mate of the leader.
Ayla didn't have an answer, but she knew she had to do something.
"Well, there is one thing we can do. We can talk to the women and see about getting some milk for the baby. It's a start." She put her cup back in her carrying pouch and stood up. "I should be getting back now."
When Ayla left Proleva's, she didn't return directly to Zelandonia place, She was concerned about Wolf and wanted to stop at Marthona's first. When she went in, the whole family was there, including Wolf. He rushed at her, so pleased to see her that Ayla was almost knocked down when the large wolf jumped up on his hind legs and landed with his paws in front of her shoulders. But she had seen him coming and managed to brace
"It startles me when he does that to you, Ayla," Willamar said as he got up from a cus.h.i.+on on the floor.
"It used to scare me, too," Jondalar said. "I trust him now, I'm not afraid for Ayla anymore. I know he won't hurt her, and I've seen what he can do to someone else who might try, but I admit, that special greeting of his does surprise me sometimes."
When Willamar approached, they greeted each other with a quick touching of right cheeks. By now Ayla had learned that it was a customary informal greeting between family members or very close friends.
"I'm sorry I couldn't go with you to see the horses, Ayla," Folara said as they greeted each other the same way.
"There's time for you to get to know the horses," she said, then touched Marthona's cheek with hers. The greeting with Jondalar was similar, but more lingering and closer. More like an embrace.
"I have to go back and help Zelandoni," Ayla said, "but I was a little concerned about Wolf. I'm glad he returned here. It means he feels that this is his home, even if I'm not here."
"How is Bologan?" Marthona asked.
"He is awake and able to talk, finally. I just came to tell Joharran." Ayla wondered if she should mention her concerns about Tremeda's baby. She was a stranger still, and maybe it wasn't appropriate for her to bring it up. It could be construed as criticism of the Ninth Cave, but n.o.body else seemed to know about the situation, and if she didn't say something, who would? "I talked to Proleva about another thing that bothers me," she said.
There were looks of interest from Jondalar's family. "What?" Marthona asked.
"Did you know that Tremeda's milk has dried up? She hasn't been home since Shevonar's burial, and she left the baby and the rest of her children for Lanoga to care for and feed. That girl can count only ten years, she can't nurse. All that baby is eating is mashed-up roots. She needs milk. How can a baby grow right without milk? And where is Laramar? Doesn't he care at all?" Ayla said in a rush, blurting it all out at once.
Jondalar glanced around at everyone. Folara was aghast; Willamar looked a little stunned; and Marthona was caught off guard, which didn't please her at all. Jondalar had to hold back a smile at the expressions on their faces. He wasn't surprised at Ayla's response to someone who needed help, but Laramar, Tremeda, and family had long been an embarra.s.sment to the Ninth Cave. Most people didn't talk about it, but Ayla had just brought it out into the open.
"Proleva said she didn't know that Tremeda's milk was gone," Ayla continued. "She's going to get the women together who can help, and we're going to talk to them, explain what the baby needs, and ask them to share some of their milk. She thought the new mothers, and the ones who are almost ready to give birth, would be the ones to ask. This is such a big cave, there must be many women who could help feed that baby"
Jondalar knew they could, but he wondered if they would, and he speculated about whose idea it was; he thought he knew. He was aware that women sometimes nursed children other than their own, but usually it was a sister or a close friend whose infant they were willing to share their milk with.
"That sounds like an admirable idea," Willamar said.
"If they're willing," Marthona said.
"Why wouldn't they be?" Ayla said. "Zelandonii women wouldn't let a baby the for lack of a little milk, would they? I did tell Lanoga I would go there tomorrow in the morning and teach her how to make more than mashed roots for the baby."
"What can a baby eat besides milk?" Folara asked.
"Many things," Ayla said. "If you sc.r.a.pe cooked meat, you get a soft substance that a baby can eat, and they can drink the liquid left after you boil meat. Nuts, ground to mush and mixed with some liquid, and grain that has been ground very fine and cooked, are good for them. Any vegetable can be cooked until it's soft, and some fruit just needs to be mashed, though the seeds have to be strained out. I always poured fruit juice through bunched-up fresh cleavers. They're full of p.r.i.c.kles and stick together easily and catch the seeds. Babies can eat almost anything their mothers can eat, if it's smooth and fine enough."
"How do you know so much about food that babies can eat?" Folara asked.
Ayla stopped and flushed with dismay. She hadn't expected the question. She knew babies were not limited to nursing because Iza had taught her how to make food for Uba when the woman got sick and lost her milk. But Ayla's knowledge had expanded manyfold when Iza died, and Ayla was so devastated by the loss of the only mother she knew, her milk dried up. Though the other women in Brun's small clan who were nursing all fed Durc, she'd had to supplement with regular food to keep him satisfied and healthy.
But she wasn't ready to tell Jondalar's family about her son just yet. They had recently said they wanted to accept her into the Zelandonii, make her one of them, even though they knew she had been raised by the people they called flatheads and considered to be animals. She would never forget the pain she had felt at Jondalar's first reaction when she told him that she had a son who was a mixture of both, of mixed spirits. Because the spirit of one of those people he thought of as animals had mixed with hers to start a life growing inside her, he had looked at her as though she were a filthy hyena and called her an abomination. She was worse than the child, because she had produced him. Jondalar had learned more about the Clan since then, and he did not feel that way anymore, but what about his people, his family?
Her mind raced. What would his mother say if she knew that her son wanted to mate with a woman who was an abomination? Or Willamar, or Folara, or the rest of his family? Ayla looked at Jondalar, and though usually she could discern his feelings and know what he was thinking by interpreting his expression or his demeanor, this time she could not. She didn't know what he would wish her to say.
She had been raised with the understanding that she had to answer a direct question with a truthful answer. Ayla had since learned that unlike the Clan, the Others, her kind of people, could say things that were not true. They even had a word for it. It was called a lie. For a moment, she actually thought about saying a lie, but what could she say? She was sure they would know it if she tried; she didn't know how to lie. At most, she could refrain from mentioning, but it was hard not to reply when she was asked a direct question.
Ayla had always supposed that his people were bound to find out about Durc sometime. He was often in her thoughts, and she knew there would come a moment when she would forget or decide not to refrain from mentioning him. She didn't want to avoid talking about Durc forever. He was her son. But this was not the time.
"I know about making baby food, Folara, because after Uba was born, Iza lost her milk early and she taught me how to make food that Uba could eat. A baby can eat anything its mother can eat if you make it soft and easy to swallow," Ayla said. It was the truth, but it was not the whole truth. She refrained from mentioning her son.
"You do it like this, Lanoga," Ayla said. "You pull the sc.r.a.per across the meat. It gets the essence out and leaves the fibrous part behind. See? Now you try it."
"What are you doing here?"
Ayla jumped with a start at the voice, then turned to face Laramar. "I'm showing Lanoga how to prepare some food that this baby can eat, since her mother has no more milk for her," she said. She was sure she detected a look of surprise flit across his face. So he didn't know, she thought.
"Why should you bother? I doubt that anyone else cares," Laramar said.
Not even you, she thought, but held her tongue. "People care. They just didn't know," she said. "We only found out when Lanoga came and got Zelandoni because Bologan was hurt."
"Bologan is hurt? What happened?"
This time there was concern in his voice. Proleva was right, Ayla thought. He does have some feelings for the eldest. "He drank your barma and..."
"Drank my barma! Where is he? I'll teach that boy to get into my barma!" Laramar stormed.
"You don't have to," Ayla said. "Someone already did. He got in a fight, someone hit him hard, or he fell and hit his head on a rock. He was brought back home and left. Lanoga found him unconscious and went to find Zelandoni. That's where he is now. He was badly hurt and lost a lot of blood, but with rest and care, he should be fine. But he won't tell Joharran who hit him."
"I'll take care of it, I know how to get it out of him," Laramar said.
"I haven't lived with this Cave very long, and it's not my place to say, but I think you should talk to Joharran first. He's very angry and wants to know who did it, and why. Bologan was lucky. It could have been much worse," Ayla said.
"You're right. It's not your place to say," Laramar said. "I'd rather take care of it myself."
Ayla said nothing. There was nothing she could do about it, except tell Joharran. She turned to the girl. "Come on, Lanoga. Get Lorala and we'll go," she said, picking up her Mamutoi haversack.
"Where are you going?" Laramar said.
"We're going to take a swim and clean up a little before we go to talk with some of the women who are nursing, or will be soon, and ask them if they will share some of their milk with Lorala," Ayla said. "Do you know where Tremeda is? She should come to this meeting, too."
"Isn't she here?" Laramar said.
"No. She left the children with Lanoga, and hasn't returned since she went to Shevonar's burial," Ayla said. "In case you're interested, the rest of the children are with Ramara, Salova, and Proleva right now." It was Proleva who had suggested that she get Lanoga and the baby cleaned up a little. Women with infants might not want to hold such a grimy baby for fear she might soil their own child.
As Lanoga picked up the baby, Ayla signaled Wolf, who had been lying down watching the activities, partly hidden by a log. Laramar hadn't seen the animal, and when Wolf stood up, his eyes widened with surprise as he became aware of what a large, powerful carnivore he actually was. The man backed off a few steps, then gave the foreign woman an insincere smile.
"That's a big animal. Are you sure it's safe to bring him around people, especially children?" he asked.
He doesn't care about children, Ayla thought, reading his subtle body language. He's talking about children and implying that I am doing something that might harm people to hide his own fear. Other people had voiced a similar concern without offending her, but she disapproved of Laramar because he had so little concern for the children for whom he should have been responsible. She didn't like the man, and his objections evoked a negative reaction in her.
"Wolf has never threatened a child. The only person he ever harmed was a woman who attacked me," Ayla said, looking directly into his eyes. Among the people of the Clan, such a direct glare would have been construed as a threat, and a subliminal impression of that was communicated. "Wolf killed the woman," she added. Laramar took another step back, grinning nervously.
That was not a smart thing to say, Ayla thought as she walked toward the front terrace with Lanoga, the baby, and Wolf. Why did I say it? She looked down at the animal trotting confidently beside her. I was acting almost like a wolf leader, making a lower-ranked pack member back down. But this is not a wolf pack, and I am not a leader. He's already talking against me, I might be making trouble for myself.
When they started down the path at the lower end of the terrace, Ayla offered to carry the baby for a while, but Lanoga said no and s.h.i.+fted Lorala on her hip. Wolf sniffed at the ground, and Ayla noticed hoofprints. The horses had come this way before. She was going to point them out to the girl, but changed her mind. Lanoga didn't talk much, and Ayla didn't want to pressure her into uncomfortable conversation.
They reached the edge of The River, and as they continued along the bank of waterway, Ayla stopped now and then to examine a plant. With a digging stick she carried pushed through her waist thong, she removed several plants with the roots. The girl watched her, and Ayla was going to show her the defining characteristics of the vegetation so she could find it herself, but decided to wait until after she understood their use.
The spring-fed creek that separated the Ninth Cave from Down River tumbled down from the stone porch in a narrow waterfall, then became a minor tributary of The River. Ayla stopped when they reached the water flowing out of the groove it had worn into the limestone and over the edge in a thin cascade of gurgling, foaming liquid. Somewhat beyond the falls, large stones had broken loose from the limestone wall and created a kind of dam with a small pond behind it. One of the stones had a natural basin with mosslike water plants lining it.
The water that filled it came primarily from rain and the backsplas.h.i.+ng spray of the waterfall. In the summer, when there was less rain, the water level of the basin was lower and she thought the sun might have warmed it. She dipped her hand in. As she expected, it was tepid, a little cool, but warmer than the water in the pool, and the water plants made the bottom of the basin soft.
Ayla put down her carrying sack. "I brought some food, do you want to feed Lorala now or later?" she asked.
"Now," Lanoga said.
"All right, let's eat now," Ayla said. "I have some cooked grain, and that meat that we sc.r.a.ped for Lorala. I brought enough food for all of us. Even some meaty bones for Wolf. What do you use to feed the baby?"
"My hand," she said.
Ayla looked at her dirty hands. It didn't matter. She had fed the child with her dirty hands before, but the woman decided to show her anyway. She held up the plants she had collected on the way.
"Lanoga, I'm going to show you what these plants are for," Ayla said. The girl looked at them. "They are called soaproot. There are several different kinds, and some work better than others. First I will wash the dirt off of them in this little stream," she explained, showing Lanoga how to clean them. Then she looked for a round hard stone and a level place on one of the fallen boulders near the basin. "Next, you need to crush the roots. They will work if you just crush them, but soaking draws out more of the slippery juice." The girl watched closely, but said nothing.
Ayla got a small watertight woven basket out of the pack she carried over one shoulder and moved to the stone basin. "Water by itself doesn't always get dirt off very well. Soaproot makes it easier. The water in this basin is a little warmer than the water in the stream. Would you like to feel it?" Ayla said.