Chapter 30
He took up his portmanteau himself: a thing not much larger than what the French would call a pet.i.t sac-de-nuit, containing little besides a clean s.h.i.+rt and his shaving-tackle: and started, bending his steps not along the road, but across it to the stile.
"I wouldn't take the field way to-night, sir, if I were you," said the man from the station door. "The road is safest."
"Why is it?" asked Thomas G.o.dolphin.
"There's a nasty bit by the field way, a quarter of a mile before you come to Bray's. Anybody, not knowing it well, might take the wrong turning, and go, head first, into the dam."
"But I do know it well," said Thomas G.o.dolphin. "And the night is light enough to distinguish the turnings."
The station-master looked up at the skies--figuratively speaking, for he could see nothing but fog. A light, hazy mist; not a dark one; which seemed likely to turn to rain. He said no more, except a "Good night, sir:" and Thomas G.o.dolphin walked on, hesitating for a moment between the two roads, and then turning decisively to that of the fields, as if some hidden impulse impelled him. Perhaps it did so.
It was not a pleasant night, a pleasant time, or a pleasant way; and Thomas G.o.dolphin began to think he should have done well to have telegraphed his intended journey from Prior's Ash to Broomhead, that they might have sent a conveyance to await him at the station. Regrets were of no use now, and he trudged along, taking two steps forward, and one backward, for the ground in places was wet and slippery. It was a peculiar night. There was no moon; there were no stars; no skies in fact to be seen at all, as you have heard; and yet the night was light.
What were Thomas G.o.dolphin's thoughts bent upon? Need you ask? For some time to come, days and weeks and months, they must run chiefly upon her who had left him. He remembered his last arrival at Broomhead: he remembered his thoughts as he had walked from the station as he was doing now; though then it had been by daylight. His musings had been of Ethel, and his coming marriage; of that farewell kiss which she had pressed upon his lips. Now--now he must only think of her as one of Heaven's angels.
He lifted his hat to wipe his brow, and then changed his load to the other hand. He was coming to the dam now. He could hear its waters. Go carefully, Thomas G.o.dolphin! A few steps down that dark turning, and you might never be heard of more. But he knew his way, and the night was light, and he bore on his course, and the dangerous turn was pa.s.sed.
A little way farther on, and he could discern the outline of Bray's cottage in the distance. A light burnt in one of the windows, and he wondered who was ill. Probably Margery's sister. It diverted his own sad reflections. Next he became absorbed in thoughts of his father. How should he find him? Ideas, we all know, a.s.sume the colouring of surrounding a.s.sociations, and Thomas G.o.dolphin, in that solitary midnight hour, grew to take a more sombre view of the news contained in Margery's letter than he had hitherto done. It is wonderful how circ.u.mstances affect us! In the broad light of day, walking, for instance, as he had done previously to Broomhead, apprehensions would not have come over him. Now he pictured his father (by no will of his own: the scenes rose up unbidden) as lying ill; perhaps dying. Perhaps even then a telegraphic message to him might be on its road to Prior's As.h.!.+ Perhaps----
A cry right over his head! And Thomas G.o.dolphin positively started. It proceeded from some night-bird that had dived down upon him, and now flew onwards, flapping its wings. Superst.i.tious Margery would have called it an omen.
Thomas G.o.dolphin followed it with his eyes, speculating upon what bird it could be. It looked like a sea-gull; had screamed like one; but the sea was far off, and, if it was one, it must have come a long distance.
Back it came again, and dived down as before. Thomas G.o.dolphin did not like it, and he
Scenes of the recent past rose up before him: the sombre scenes in which he had been an actor. The ominous Shadow of Ashlydyat, striking on his sight as he turned the ash-trees, the night of his previous summons to Broomhead: the dead face of Ethel lying on her bed; the reminiscence of the funeral scene; of his walking away from it with the dull sound of the earth falling on her coffin smiting his ears! None of them pleasant things to recall at that particular hour. Why should they have come to him?
"What business had they there at such a time?"
Drive them away he could not. But neither did he try to do so. They served to make doubly sad, doubly ominous, his new fears for his father.
He knew how precarious was Sir George's life. What if he were then dying! Nay, what if it were the very moment of his departure?--if he were dead? having called upon his children; upon him, Thomas, in vain?
That odious bird once more! It flew over his head with a shriller cry than the last. Thomas G.o.dolphin was at that moment within a few paces of a stile which lay in his path. He turned his head round to look after the bird, without slackening his pace, putting out his hand before him to feel for the stile. The hand came into contact with it, and Thomas let it rest momentarily. His head was turned, still watching the bird, which was then flying round and round, making fierce circlets in the air.
But he could not stop there all night, staring at the bird, and he turned sharply round to cross the stile. Placing one foot on its lower rail, he----
What made Thomas G.o.dolphin start as if he had been shot? Who and what was that standing on the other side of the stile fixedly gazing at him?
A tall, shadowy, upright form, bearing the unmistakable features of Sir George G.o.dolphin.
Will you--strong, practical, unimaginative men of the world--forgive Thomas G.o.dolphin if in that one brief moment the wild superst.i.tions, instilled into his mind in childhood, were allowed their play? Forgive him, or not, it was the fact. In imagination, only the instant before, he had seen his father lying upon his bed, the soul parting from the body: and Thomas G.o.dolphin as much believed what he now saw before him was his father's spirit, as that he, himself, was in existence. The spirit, appearing to him at the moment of its departure. His flesh turned cold, and dew gathered on his brow.
"My son, can it be you?"
Thomas G.o.dolphin came out of his folly, and grasped his father. That it was real flesh and blood which yielded to his arms, he knew now: but perhaps the _surprise_ that it should be so, was even greater than the other emotion. Sir George G.o.dolphin there! at that midnight hour! nearly a mile from home! and bareheaded! Was it really Sir George? Thomas G.o.dolphin rubbed his eyes, and thought he, himself, must have taken leave of his senses.
"My father! my dear father! what are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd go to the station, Thomas, and see about a special train.
I must go back to Ashlydyat to die."
Thomas climbed over the stile. The tone, the manner, the words, altogether had betrayed to him an unhappy fact--that his father's mind was not in a state of perfect sanity. He trembled for his health, too.
It was a cold raw night, and here was Sir George in evening dress, without so much as an overcoat thrown on! He, who had only been out since the last fainting-fit in a close carriage: and then well wrapped up.
"Where is your hat, father?"
The old knight lifted his hand to his head, as if he had not known that his hat was not there. "I must have come out without it, Thomas," he said. "What was that noise over there?" he continued, pointing above the stile to the way Thomas had come, his frame s.h.i.+vering with cold as he spoke.
"I think it was a sea-gull. Or some screaming night-bird."
"I could not get over the stile, Thomas. The walk seemed to have taken the strength out of me. How did you come here? I thought you were at Prior's Ash."
Thomas G.o.dolphin was busy. He had taken off his great coat, and was putting it upon his father, b.u.t.toning it up carefully. A smaller man than Sir George, it did not fit well: but Sir George had shrunk. The hat fitted better.
"But you have no hat yourself!" said Sir George, surveying his son's head, when he had submitted in patient silence to the dressing.
"I don't want one," replied Thomas. "The night air will not hurt me."
Nevertheless, all the way to Broomhead, he was looking on either side, if perchance he might come upon Sir George's hat, lying in the road.
Thomas drew his father close, to support him on his arm, and they commenced their walk to the house. Not until then did Thomas know how very weak his father was. Stooping, s.h.i.+vering, tripping, with every other step, it appeared impossible that he could walk back again: the wonder was, how he had walked there.
Thomas G.o.dolphin halted in dismay. How was he to get his father home?
Carry him, he could not: it was of course beyond his strength. The light in Bray's window suggested a thought to him.
"Father, I think you had better go to Bray's and stay there, while I see about your hand-chair. You are not able to walk."
"I won't go to Bray's," returned the knight, with a touch of vehemence.
"I don't like Bray, and I will not put my foot inside his threshold.
Besides, it's late, and my lady will miss us."
He pressed on somewhat better towards home, and Thomas G.o.dolphin saw nothing else that could be done, except to press on with him, and give him all the help in his power. "My dear father, you should have waited until the morning," he said, "and have gone out then."
"But I wanted to see about a train, Thomas," remonstrated the knight.
"And I can't do it in the day. She will not let me. When we drive past the railway station, she won't get out, and won't let me do so. Thomas, I want to go back to Ashlydyat."
"I have come to take you back, my dear father."
"Ay, ay. And mind you are firm when she says I must not go because of the fever. The fever will not hurt me, Thomas. I can't be firm. I have grown feeble, and people take my will from me. You are my first-born son, Thomas."
"Yes."
"Then you must be firm for me, I say."
"I will be, father."
"This is a rough road, Thomas."
"No, it is smooth; and I am glad that it is so. But you are tired."
The old knight bent his head, as if choosing his steps. Presently he lifted his head: