Confidential Matters (Part II)
Chapter 113: Confidential Matters (Part II)
Trigger Warning: brief mention of suicide.
Originally Xia Yan planned to ignore Jiang Ruan but she was just too calm, sitting there not saying a word. Meanwhile, Xia Yan was kneeling and her knees were really too uncomfortable, thus, she could only open her eyes and ask flatly, "Why are you here?"
Jiang Ruan looked at her with a smile. "Three days makes a big difference. Mother has only been in seclusion for a few days, yet you already show hints of the Buddha’s benevolent aura, with a mind as pure as the spring breeze."
Xia Yan’s anger flared. She wanted so hard to be the same unparalleled woman she once was, but looking down, her filthy clothes were stained with oil and dirt. And because she couldn’t take a bath every day as before, her whole body emanated a foul stench. The long hair she was so proud of was now a chaotic mess, and was even full of knots. As for her appearance… Xia Yan didn’t need to open her eyes to know how hideous she looked.
In front of Jiang Ruan’s cold smile, Xia Yan felt as if she was stripped naked and thrown into the market for people to gawk at. How could she accept this?
She looked up at Jiang Ruan. Jiang Ruan wore an elegant pink dress embroidered in gold, with skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony. Even in such a dark room, her body seemed to emit a brilliant glow. Though she was sitting on a simple wooden stool, it seemed as if she sat upon the most honourable seat in the world. And with her smiling gaze upon her, it felt as though she was looking at a mere ant struggling in the dust, her glance full of mockery.
Xia Yan trembled all over. The more captivating Jiang Ruan was, the more shameful she became. This moment reminded her of the scene when she first met Zhao Mei a long time ago.
Many years ago, Xia Yan was the most talented woman in the capital – no one could beat her in poetry or painting. She was without equal in both chess and zither. Men were enamoured with her and women were jealous.
But she still couldn’t marry into a good family just because her father was a shu son, so her status was too low. Those noblemen could marry her as a concubine, but never a wife.
What a beautiful woman feared was not her twilight, when her hair turned grey, but rather to never realize her full potential. The young Xia Yan had her nose in the sky and set her heart on raising her status through marriage. At this time, she met Jiang Quan. He was a new official at court, elegant and handsome. She loved him, but the one who married him in the end was not her.
Xia Yan once saw Zhao Mei from a distance, just after Jiang Quan mentioned the matter of his marriage to the Zhao family’s beloved treasure. Xia Yan secretly went to the doors of the General fu and saw a girl with a carefree grin. Clad in a set of red hunting clothes, she carried a pure and untainted smile in her eyes. It was obvious from the doting way her father and brothers looked at her that she grew up coddled as the jewel of the family. An extremely complicated feeling arose in Xia Yan.
She thought, why can others get all they want without effort, while I can only dream of it?
She was jealous, so jealous that she went crazy. She thought, if only I could let this beloved little Miss experience the feeling of struggling in the dust as I do. To drag her into the quagmire, never to see the light. To see her slowly lose that carefree smile and wither away, witness all the most wretched and vicious things in the world, then let her crawl under my feet and weep.
That was the day Xia Yan changed her mind. She would enter the Jiang fu to be a concubine, if only to stain that bright and pure soul with mud.
In the end, she did succeed. Zhao Mei entered the fu, fell out of favour, was bullied by servants, and her children were never loved by Jiang Quan. When Zhao Mei died, Xia Yan thought she’d finished her
Xia Yan screamed and leapt at Jiang Ruan, hands outstretched to claw at her face. But Tian Zhu, one step faster, simply kicked her knee in. Xia Yan abruptly fell onto her knees in front of Jiang Ruan.
Jiang Ruan looked at her and asked lightly, "Jiang Furen, how does it feel to fall into hell?"
After a pause, Xia Yan began laughing madly. She pointed at Jiang Ruan’s nose. "Bi*ch! You’re just like your shameless mother!"
Tian Zhu slapped her across the face with a sharp pa! Jiang Ruan gently wiped her hands then looked at the dumbfounded Xia Yan with a smile. "Be careful of your words*, Mother."
* 祸从口出 (huò cóng kǒu chū) – Troubles issue from the mouth (idiom). A loose tongue may cause a lot of trouble.
Xia Yan, gritting her teeth, chuckled under her breath. Going for broke, she said, "You’re already angry? It seems like you’re very protective of your short-lived mother, little whore. But what a pity, you didn’t see the way she cried and begged me to let you and your brother off, tsk, so ugly."
Jiang Ruan’s eyes moved slightly but she didn’t speak, so Xia Yan continued: "Humph, you don’t know how your mother died, right? Back then her body wasn’t well, I even persuaded Master to take care of her a bit more so he ordered the kitchen to make medicinal tonics for her. That bi*ch gulped it down as soon as she heard it was from Master, but didn’t know she was actually drinking poison." A strange smile warped Xia Yan’s face. "But it could never be traced to me because I wasn’t the one to poison it. Guess who did it?"
Despite how this caught her attention, Jiang Ruan’s expression remained calm. Xia Yan burst into laughter, as if thinking of something especially funny. "It was Jiang Dan! Hahaha, I only had people threaten her with a few words, and she was scared into poisoning Zhao Mei’s bowl every day. Wasn’t Zhao Mei very kind throughout her life, but she didn’t know she raised a white-eyed wolf! But later I found something very interesting. Jiang Dan also gave you poison!" She laughed again. "All because I told her that Zhao Mei’s care for her was only superficial. You’re Zhao Mei’s biological daughter, therefore she could never treat her the same as you. Then, if you died, Jiang Xin Zhi would only have her as a sister, and Zhao Mei would truly take her as her own daughter. After she heard this, Jiang Dan would find opportunities to poison your drinks every day. Hahaha! Jiang Dan is the most cruel one in this whole fu. You guys treated her so well, yet she repaid you with death. Aren’t you disappointed, aren’t you sad?"
Tian Zhu glanced at Jiang Ruan in surprise, but Jiang Ruan acted as if she hadn’t heard a word. She only mildly replied, "Thank you, Jiang Furen. It turns out there was such a story."
Xia Yan laughed in defeat. "Now that I’m like this, I might as well admit my loss, it’s not like I can escape from here. But you? That bi*ch Zhao Mei has already gone to hell, Master hates you, and sooner or later you and your damned brother won’t end well! There’s plenty in the fu who want you dead. Be careful that when you go to hell, you won’t even know who did it!"
Jiang Ruan looked amused. "What does it matter to Jiang Furen if I go to hell? But I know very well when Jiang Furen will go to hell."
Xia Yan was startled and stared warily at Jiang Ruan.
Jiang Ruan sighed. "Jiang Furen thought that there was a little hope after you entered this small Buddhist hall. However, I’m afraid that all your wishes and hopes have been misplaced on Second Sister and Second Brother. Think clearly, if Mother’s matters were spread to outsiders, how would Second Sister and Second Brother raise their heads in the capital? Could they have a good future?"
Xia Yan’s body trembled. Yes, if everyone knew she tried to harm the di daughter, how would Jiang Chao’s peers see him? Who would be willing to marry Jiang Su Su? Xia Yan couldn’t be more clear on how important a mother’s reputation was for the child. She suddenly raised her head. "How would outsiders know, Master won’t allow it!" she shouted. With how much Jiang Quan loved this daughter and son pair, there was no way he’d air his dirty laundry outside. There would be nowhere to hide if it spread out.
Jiang Ruan’s smile became gentler. "There are so many mouths, it’s impossible to have an impenetrable wall. How can Jiang Furen be so sure that nothing will escape?"
"It’s you… it’s you…" Xia Yan looked at Jiang Ruan as if she were a ghost. "You want to hurt them…"
"The one who hurt them was you, not me," Jiang Ruan said, one word at a time.
Xia Yan rushed to Jiang Ruan’s feet and began to kowtow unceasingly. "I’m begging you; don’t hurt them; please; save them; they’re still your brother and sister; it’s all my fault; I deserve all your resentment; they have nothing to do with it!"
Xia Yan bowed dozens of times but Jiang Ruan was unmoved. Finally, she raised her head with a trace of determination in her eyes, sneering, "If you really want to tell everyone, then go tell them."
"Is Jiang Furen thinking of taking her own life?" Jiang Ruan asked softly.
Xia Yan looked at her in horror. Yes, she wanted to. If Jiang Ruan really spread the news, she could use her death to block those people’s mouths from talking about Jiang Su Su and Jiang Chao. She was already ruined, and only wished for Jiang Su Su and Jiang Chao to live comfortably for the rest of their days. But who knew that Jiang Ruan, like a roundworm in her belly, saw through her with only a few words.
Jiang Ruan laughed. "Jiang Furen loves her children very much, it’s really touching. However, do they think the same way?" She leaned down and stared into Xia Yan’s eyes. "I think Second Sister and Second Brother would be ashamed and angry to have a mother like this. If Jiang Furen fails to end it on your own, they’ll definitely try to erase Jiang Furen’s existence, because you are an unneeded stain upon their lives." She grinned at Xia Yan’s horrified expression. "Jiang Furen should feel very sad when your two children come to get rid of you. I just don’t know who will move first- will it be Second Sister or Second Brother?"
She straightened, then glanced at Xia Yan lightly and said with a cold tone, "Don’t worry, Jiang Furen, I won’t let you die so easily. Your life isn’t mine to take. Your own flesh and blood will do the deed." Her words carried a peculiar air, like an enchantment beckoning people to the doors of hell. She continued faintly, "This junzhu has a vicious heart, how can I miss out on watching such a play?"
The red skirt fluttered across the ground, the hall’s doors once again closed with a pa, and the room was filled with the sounds of someone breaking down.
Jiang Ruan looked up and coldly ordered the two female servants outside the door, "Guard closely, don’t let her die."