Chapter 79
"Danger, Father! What is the worth of my religion if it does not enable me to defy that?"
"Well, well--do not decide too soon. I'll come to you at Soho this evening."
"Do. It's our last night there. I must tell my poor people what my plans are to be. Good-bye for the present, Father, good-bye."
"Good-bye, my son," and as John Storm went off with a light heart and bounding step the Father pa.s.sed indoors with downcast face, saying to himself with a sigh, "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."
It was Lord Mayor's Day again, the streets were thronged, and John Storm was long in forging his way home. Glory's letter was waiting for him, and he tore it open with nervous fingers, but when he had read it he laughed aloud. "G.o.d bless her! But she doesn't know everything yet."
Mrs. Callender was out in the carriage; she would be back for lunch, and the maid was laying the cloth; but he would not wait. After scribbling a few lines in pencil to tell of his great resolve, he set off to Clement's Inn. The Strand was less crowded when he returned to it, and the newsboys were calling the evening papers with "Full Memoir of Father Damien."
On coming home from rehearsal Glory had found the costume for her third act, her great act, awaiting her. All day long she had been thinking of her letter to John, half ashamed of it, half regretting it, almost wis.h.i.+ng it could be withdrawn. But the dress made a great tug at her heart, and she could not resist the impulse to try it on. The moment she had done so the visionary woman whose part she was to play seemed to take possession of her, and shame and regret were gone.
It was a magnificent stage costume, green as the gra.s.s in spring with the morning sun on it. The gown was a splendid brocade with gold-embroidered lace around the square-cut neck and about the shoulders of the tight-made sleeves. Round her hips was a sash of golden tissue, and its hanging ends were fringed with emeralds. A band of azure stones encircled her head, and her fingers were covered with turquoise rings.
She went to the drawing-room, shut the door, and began to rehea.r.s.e the scene. It was where the imaginary Gloria, being vain and selfish, trampled everything under her feet that she might possess the world and the things of the world. Glory spoke the words aloud, forgetting they were not her own, until she heard another voice saying, "May I come in, dear?"
It was John at the door. She was ashamed of her
But he saw nothing unusual, and she was disappointed and annoyed. Coming in breathless, as if he had been running, he flung himself down on one end of the couch, threw his hat on the other end, and said: "What did I tell you, Glory? That a way would open itself, and it has!"
"Really?"
"Didn't you think of it when you saw the news in the papers this morning?"
"What news?"
"That Father Damien is dead."
"But can you--do you really mean that--do you intend----"
"I do, Glory--I do."
"Then you didn't get my letter this morning?"
"Oh, yes, dear, yes; but you were only thinking for me--G.o.d bless you!--that I was giving up a great scene for a little one. But this--this is the greatest scene in the world, Glory. Life is a small sacrifice; the true sacrifice is a living death, a living crucifixion."
She felt as if he had taken her by the throat and was choking her. He had got up and was walking to and fro, talking impetuously.
"Yes, it is a great sacrifice I am asking you to make now, dear. That far-off island, the poor lepers, and then lifelong banishment. But G.o.d will reward you, and with interest too. Only think, Glory! Think of the effect of your mere presence out there among those poor doomed creatures! A young and beautiful woman! Not a melancholy old dolt like me, preaching and prating to them, but a bright and brilliant girl, laughing with them, playing games with them, making mimicry for them, and singing to them in the voice of an angel. Oh, they'll love you, Glory, they'll wors.h.i.+p you--you'll be next to G.o.d and his blessed mother with them. And already I hear them saying among themselves: 'Heaven bless her! She might have had the world at her feet and made a great name and a great fortune, but she gave it all up--all, all, all--for pity and love of us!' Won't it be glorious, my child? Won't it be the n.o.blest thing in all the world?"
And she struggled to answer, "Yes, no doubt--the n.o.blest thing in all the world!"
"Then you agree? Ah, I knew your heart spoke in your first letter, and you wanted to leave London. You shall, too, for G.o.d has willed it."
Then she recovered a little and made a nervous attempt to withdraw. "But the church at Westminster?"
He laughed like a boy. "Oh, Golightly may have that now, and welcome."
"But the work in London?"
"Ah, that's all right, Glory. Ever since I heard from you I have been dealing with the bonds which bound me to London one by one, unravelling some and breaking others. They are all discharged now, every one of them, and I need think of them no more. Self is put behind forever, and I can stand before G.o.d and say: 'Do with me as you will; I am ready for anything--anything!'"
"Oh!"
"Crying, Glory? My poor, dear child! But why are you crying?"
"It's nothing!"
"Are you sure--quite sure? Am I asking too much of you? Don't let us deceive ourselves--think----"
"Let us talk of something else now." She began to laugh. "Look at me, John--don't I look well to-day?"
"You always look well, Glory."
"But isn't there any difference--this dress, for instance?"
Then his sight came back and his big eyes sparkled. "How beautiful you are, dear!"
"Really? Do I look nice then--really?"
"My beautiful, beautiful girl!"
Her head was thrown back, and she glowed with joy.
"Don't come too near me, you know--don't crush me."
"Nay, no fear of that--I should be afraid."
"Not that I mustn't be touched exactly."
"What will they think, I wonder, those poor, lost creatures, so ugly, so disfigured?"
"And my red hair. This colour suits it, doesn't it?"
"Some Madonna, they'll say; the very picture of the mother of G.o.d herself!"
"Are you--are you afraid of me in this frock, dear? Shall I run and take it off?"
"No--no; let me look at you again."
"But you don't like me to-day, for all that."
"I?"
"Do you know you've never once kissed me since you came into the room?"