Chapter 12
"Ah! how sweet of you! And what a lovely little hand! But no; let me take it for myself."
He reached one arm around her shoulder, put his hand under her chin, tipped up her face, and kissed her on the lips.
"Darling!" he whispered.
Then in a moment she awoke from her world of wonder and enchantment, and the intoxication of the evening left her. She did not speak; her head dropped; she felt her cheeks burn red, and she hid her face in her hands. There was a momentary sense of dishonour, almost of outrage.
Drake treated her lightly, and she was herself to blame.
"Forgive me, Glory!" he was saying, in a voice tremulous and intense.
"It shall never happen again--never--so help me G.o.d!"
The day was dawning, and the last raindrops were splas.h.i.+ng on the wet and empty pavement. The great city lay asleep, and the distant thunder was rolling away from it.
XII.
The chaplain of Martha's Vineyard had not been to the hospital ball.
Before it came off he had thought of it a good deal, and as often as he remembered that he had protested to Glory against the company of Polly Love he felt hot and ashamed. Polly was shallow and frivolous, and had a little crab-apple of a heart, but he knew no harm of her. It was hardly manly to make a dead set at the little thing because she was foolish and fond of dress, and because she knew a man who displeased him.
Then she was Glory's only companion, and to protest against Glory going in her company was to protest against Glory going at all. That seemed a selfish thing to do. Why should he deny her the delights of the ball?
He could not go to it himself--he would not if he could; but girls liked such things--they loved to dance, and to be looked at and admired, and have men about them paying court and talking nonsense.
There was a sting in that thought, too; but he struggled to be magnanimous. He was above all mean and unmanly feelings--he would withdraw his objection.
He did not withdraw it. Some evil spirit whispered in his heart that Glory was drifting away from him. This was the time to see for certain whether she had pa.s.sed out of the range of his influence. If she respected his authority she would not go. If she went, he had lost his hold of her, and their old relations were at an end.
On the night of the ball he walked over to the hospital and asked for her. She had gone, and it seemed as if the earth itself had given way beneath his feet.
He could not help feeling bitterly about Polly Love, and that caused him to remember a patient to whom her selfish little heart had shown no kindness. It was her brother. He was some nine or ten years older, and very different in character. His face was pale and thin--almost ascetic--and he had the fiery and watery eyes of the devotee. He had broken a blood-vessel and was threatened with consumption, but his case was not considered dangerous. When Polly was about, his eyes would follow her round the ward with something of the humble entreaty of a dog. It was clear that he loved his sister, and was constantly thinking of her. But she hardly ever looked in his direction, and when she spoke to him it was in a cold or fretful voice.
John Storm had observed this. It had brought him close to the young man, and the starved and silent heart had opened out to him. He was a lay-brother in an Anglican Brotherhood that was settled in Bishopsgate Street. His monastic name was Brother Paul. He had asked to be sent to that hospital because his sister was a nurse there. She was his only remaining relative. One other sister he had once had, but she was gone--she was dead--she died---- But that was a sad and terrible story; he did not like to talk of it.
To this broken and bankrupt creature John Storm found his footsteps turning on that night when his own heart lay waste. But on entering the ward he saw that Brother Paul had a visitor already. He was an elderly man in a strange habit--a black ca.s.sock which b.u.t.toned close at the neck and fell nearly to his feet, and was girded about the waist by a black rope that had three great knots at its suspended ends. And the habit was not more different from the habit of the world than the face of the wearer was unlike the worldly face. It was a face full of spirituality, a face that seemed to invest everything it looked upon with a holy peace--a beautiful face, without guile or craft or pa.s.sion, yet not without the signs of internal strife at the temples and under the eyes; but the battles with self had all been fought and won.
As John Storm stepped up, the old man rose from his chair by the patient's bed.
"This is the Father Superior, sir," said Brother Paul.
"I've just been hearing of you," said the Father in
John Storm answered with some commonplace--it had been a pleasure, a happiness; the brother would soon leave them; they would all miss him--perhaps himself especially.
The Father resumed his chair and listened with an earnest smile. "I understand you, dear friend," he said. "It is so much more blessed to give than to receive! Ah, if the poor blind world only knew! How it fights for its pleasures that perish, and its pride of life that pa.s.ses away! Yet to succour a weaker brother, or protect a fallen woman, or feed a little child will bring a greater joy than to conquer all the kingdoms of the earth."
John Storm sat down on the end of the bed. Something had gone out to him in a moment, and he was held as by a spell. The Father talked of the love of the world--how strange it was, how difficult to understand, how tragic, how pitiful! The l.u.s.ts of the flesh, the l.u.s.ts of the eye--how mean, how delusive, how treacherous! To think of the people of that mighty city day by day and night by night making themselves miserable in order that they might make themselves merry; to think of the children of men scouring the globe for its paltry possessions, that could not add one inch to the stature of the soul, while all the time the empire of peace and joy and happiness lay here at hand, here within ourselves, here in the little narrow compa.s.s of the human heart! To give, not to get, that was the great blessedness, and to give of yourself, of your heart's love, was the greatest blessedness of all.
John Storm was stirred. "The Church, sir," he said, "the Church itself has to learn that lesson."
And then he spoke of the hopes with which he had come up to London, and how they were being broken down and destroyed; of his dreams of the Church and its mission, and how they were dying or dead already.
"What liars we are, sir! How we colour things to justify ourselves! Look at our sacraments--are they a lie, or are they a sacrilege? Look at our charities--are we Pharisees or are we hypocrites? And our clergy, sir--our fas.h.i.+onable clergy! Surely some tremendous upheaval will shake to its foundations the Church wherein such things are possible--a Church that is more worldly than the world! And then the woman-life of the Church, see how it is thrown away. That sweetest and tenderest and holiest power, how it goes to waste under the eye and with the sanction of the Church in the frivolities of fas.h.i.+on--in drawing-rooms, in gardens, in bazars, in theatres, in b.a.l.l.s----"
He stopped. His last word had arrested him. Had he been thinking only of himself and of Glory? His head fell and he covered his face with his hand.
"You are right, my son," said the Father quietly, "and yet you are wrong, too. The Church of G.o.d will not be shaken to its foundations because of the Pharisees who stand in its public places, or because of the publicans who haunt its purlieus. Though the axe be laid to the rotten tree, yet the little seed will save its kind alive."
Then with an earnest smile and in a gentle voice he spoke of their little brotherhood in Bishopsgate Street; how ten years ago they had founded it for detachment from earthly cares and earthly aims, and for hiddenness with G.o.d; how they had established it in the midst of the world's, busiest highway, in the heart of the world's greatest market, to show that they despised gold and silver and all that the blind and cheated world most prizes, just as St. Philip and St. Ignatius had established the severest of modern rules in a profane and self-indulgent century, to show that they could stamp out every suggestion of the flesh as a spark from the fires of h.e.l.l.
And then he lifted his cord and pointed to the knots at the end of it, and told what they were--symbols of the three bonds by which he was bound--the three vows he had taken: the vow of poverty, because Christ chose it for himself and his friends; the vow of obedience, because he had said, "He that heareth you heareth Me"; and the vow of chast.i.ty, because it was our duty to guard the gates of the senses, and to keep our eyes and ears and tongue from all inordinateness.
"But the lawful love of home and kindred," said John; "what of that?"
"We convert it into what is spiritual," said the Father. "All human love must be based on the love of G.o.d if it is to be firm and true and enduring, and the reason of so much failure of love in natural friends.h.i.+p is that the love of the creature is not built upon the love of the Creator."
"But the love--say of mother and son--of brother and sister?"
"Ah, we have placed ourselves above the ordinary conditions of life that none may claim our affections in the same way as Christ. Man has to contend with two sets of enemies--those from within and those from without; and no temptations are more subtle than those which come in the name of our holiest affections. But the sword of the spirit must keep the tempter away. There is the Judas in all of us, and he will betray us with a kiss if he can."
John Storm's breast was heaving. He could scarcely conceal his agitation; but the Father had risen to go.
"It is eight o'clock, and I must be back to Compline," he said. And then he laughed and added: "We never ride in cabs; but I must needs walk across the park to-night, for I have given away all my money."
At that the smile of an angel came into his old face, and lie said, with a sweet simplicity:
"I love the park. Every morning the children play there, and then it is the holy Catholic Church to me, and I like to walk in it and to lay my hands on the heads of the little ones, and to ask a blessing for them, and to empty my-self. This morning as I was coming here I met a little boy carrying a bundle. 'And what is _your_ name, my little man?' I said, and he told me what it was. 'And how old are you?' I asked. 'Twelve years,' he answered. 'And what have you got in your bundle?' 'Father's dinner, sir,' he said. 'And what is your father, my son?' 'A carpenter,'
said the boy. And I thought if I had been living in Palestine nineteen hundred years ago I might have met another little Boy carrying the dinner of his father, who was also a carpenter, in a little bundle which Mary had made up for him. So I felt in my pocket, and all I had was my fare home again, and I gave it to the little man as a thank-offering to G.o.d that he had suffered me to meet a sweet boy of twelve whose father was a carpenter."
John Storm's eyes were dim with tears.
"Good-bye, Brother Paul, and G.o.d send you back to us soon!--Good-bye to you, dear friend; and when the world deals harshly with you come to us for a few days in Retreat, that in the silence of your soul you may forget its vanities and vexations and fix your thoughts above."
John Storm could not resist the impulse--he dropped to his knees at the Father's feet.
"Bless me also, Father, as you blessed the carpenter's boy."
The Father raised two fingers of his right hand and said:
"G.o.d bless you, my son, and be with you and strengthen you, and when he smiles on you may the frown of man affect you not!--Father in heaven, look down on this fiery soul and succour him! Help him to cast off every anchor that holds him to the world, and make him as a voice crying in the wilderness, 'Come out of her, my people, saith our G.o.d.'"
When John rose from his knees the saintly face was gone, and all the air seemed to be filled with a heavenly calm.
While he had been kneeling for the Father's blessing he had been aware of a step on the floor behind him. It was his fellow-curate, the Reverend Golightly, who was still waiting to deliver his message.
The canon had been disappointed in one of his preachers for Sunday, and being himself engaged to preside over the annual dinner of a dramatic benevolent fund to be held on the Sat.u.r.day night, and therefore incapable of extra preparation, he desired that Mr. Storm should take the sermon on Sunday morning.
John promised to do so; and then his fellow-curate smiled, bowed, coughed, and left him. A small room was kept for the chaplain on the ground floor of the hospital, and he went down to it and wrote a letter.