Chapter 60
"How did the General receive your work?"
Reinhold looked up in astonishment; there was nothing surprising indeed in the question. He had mentioned the subject, as he had nearly all, excepting one, the most important--often enough at the tea-table here; but the tone in which Cilli had asked was peculiar.
"How do you mean, dear Cilli?" he asked in return.
"I only wanted to remind you that you had not been idle even here,"
said Cilli.
She was standing opposite to him at the other side of the tea-table, and the light of the lamp fell full upon her pure features, on which was expressed some uneasiness. She seemed to be listening for the step of her father or Justus on the stairs. Then, as everything remained still, she felt her way round the table, sat down on the edge of the sofa, and said, while a deep colour suffused her whole face: "I did not tell you the truth; it was for another reason that I asked you. I have something else to ask you--a very great, very bold request--which you will perhaps grant me, if you are sure, as you ought to be, that it is not idle curiosity that prompts me, but heartfelt sympathy in your weal and woe."
"Tell me, Cilli; I believe there is nothing in the world that I would deny you."
"Well then, is it Elsa von Werben?"
"Yes, dear Cilli."
"Thank G.o.d!"
Cilli sat still, with her hands in her lap; and Reinhold was silent too; he felt that he could not have spoken at the moment without tears.
Cilli knew that he was not ashamed of his confession, but she had to a certain degree forced it from him, and as if in apology, she said: "You must not be angry with me. Good as Justus is, one cannot confide such things in him. I think he would hardly understand it. And you have no one else here excepting me; and I thought perhaps it would not be so hard for you if you could speak openly of your feelings even to blind Cilli."
Reinhold took her hand, and carried it to his lips.
"I am as grateful to you, dear Cilli, as a wounded man is when balm is poured upon his wounds, and I know no one in whom I would rather confide than in you, purest, kindest, best!"
"I know that you like me and trust me," said Cilli, warmly returning the pressure of Reinhold's hand; "and I am well punished for my cowardice in having, notwithstanding, kept silence so long; for, only think, Reinhold, I believed at first----"
"What did you believe, dear Cilli?"
"I believed at first that it was Ferdinanda; and I was very, very unhappy about it, for Ferdinanda may be as beautiful as you all say, and as talented, but you would never have been happy with her. You are so kind and so good-tempered, and she is--I will not say ill-tempered, but haughty. Believe me, Reinhold, I feel it, as a beggar feels whether what is given him is from kindness or only to get rid of him. I have never put myself in her way, G.o.d knows; but He knows also that she has never gone a step out of her way to say one of those kind words to me which fall so readily from your lips, because your heart is overflowing with them. For some time, too, I trembled for Justus, till I learned to understand his nature, and saw that an artist--inasmuch as he is unlike other men--cannot love either like other men. But you, with your tender, loving heart, how should you not love--and love immeasurably--and be immeasurably unhappy if your love is misplaced! I have said this often to Justus when we were talking about you--at first; now I do not do so any more, for he chatters about everything that comes into his head, and I have observed how carefully you have guarded your secret."
"That I have indeed!" cried Reinhold. "I might almost say from myself; and I cannot think how you have discovered it."
"It seems almost a miracle, does it not?" said Cilli; "and yet it is not one, if you seeing people knew how well the blind hear, how they pay attention to every trifle, and to the tone in which you mention a particular name, as you bring it in at first shamefacedly, and then a little more boldly, as soon as you feel secure, till at last all your conversation is full of the music of the loved name, as in the East the dawn is filled with the name of Allah, cried by the Muezzins from the roof of the minaret. And ah! what sadness there often was in the tone in which you spoke it! What trembling hope of joy breathed in it, when you told me the other day that you were going to spend the evening with her, to pa.s.s hours in her company at that large party! They
"No, dear Cilli," answered Reinhold; "I only see a happiness which I thought I might grasp with my hand, as a child thinks it may grasp a star, vanish from me in grey distance."
And Reinhold related everything from the beginning, and how he was certain, though she had never spoken a word of love to him, not even on that delightful evening, that she understood him; and that so n.o.ble and high-minded a creature could never trifle with a man's silent, respectful devotion, and therefore the favour with which she distinguished him--her kind words and friendly looks--could not be mere trifling, and if not love was yet a feeling that under happier circ.u.mstances might have blossomed into true, perfect love. But circ.u.mstances could hardly be more unfavourable than they were at present. So melancholy an event as that which had occurred would in any other case have united the other members of the two families in sympathy; in fact it could only have occurred between two families, the heads of which were so utterly opposed in their social views as were the General and Uncle Ernst. He was himself quite independent of his uncle, and should always a.s.sert that independence, particularly in his love-affairs; but Elsa was most especially the child of the house, the daughter of a father she so justly and highly honoured, and he feared the reaction which such an event might produce upon the General, who otherwise--from affection for his daughter and regard for him--might perhaps have sacrificed his cla.s.s-prejudices, but now--and who could blame him?--would intrench himself doubly and trebly behind these very prejudices, which in his eyes were none. And there was another thing I From some remarks made by the General, at the dinner-table at Golmberg, he had taken the Werbens for one of the many poor n.o.ble families; and now Elsa suddenly appeared to him as a wealthy heiress, to whom, if she were really prepared to sacrifice her inheritance to her love, as would be necessary, he had nothing to offer but a faithful heart, and such a modest livelihood as a man like him could at best provide. Under these circ.u.mstances every prospect seemed so closed to him, every hope so crushed and forbidden to him by the feelings of simple propriety, that there could be no question of wooing on his part, and that it would require a positive miracle to change for the better the present miserable state of affairs.
Cilli's face had reflected every sentiment that Reinhold expressed, as the crystal surface of a calm mountain lake reflects the light and shadows of the sky. But now the last shadow faded before the sunny smile with which she said:
"Love is always a miracle, Reinhold; why should not a second happen?
Did you not tell me that Elsa understood and did not resent the silent language of your eyes? And even if, as I suppose, the late sad events have been concealed from her, she must have known the conditions of the inheritance, and also her father's character and views, and yet she had no fear and saw nothing impossible in it, but believed, and so surely still believes, that all things work for the best with true love."
"A pious belief, Cilli, such as well beseems a woman, but very ill beseems a man who is expected and rightly to understand and respect the world and the laws which regulate the world."
"Understand!" said Cilli, shaking her head, "yes! But respect them! How can any one respect what is so senseless, so G.o.dless, as that must necessarily be which will not allow he union of two hearts that G.o.d has formed for each other? What G.o.d has joined together let not man put asunder!"
"Ferdinanda and Ottomar might say that for themselves too, dear Cilli."
"Never!" cried Cilli. "G.o.d knows nothing of a love which believes in nothing, not even in itself, and therefore bears nothing: no delay, no remonstrance, however just; no obstacle, however unavoidable; and proves thereby that it is itself nothing but pride, arrogance, and adoration of self. No, Reinhold, you must not do yourself the injustice of comparing your modest, n.o.ble love, with that dark, unholy pa.s.sion!
And you ought not either to have such a difficult road before you as those unhappy people. Your path must be free and light as your love; you owe that to yourself and to the woman you love."
"Tell me what I ought to do, Cilli. I will believe in you as if an angel spoke to me!"
"Only be yourself, Reinhold; neither more nor less. You, who have so often opposed a bold front to the merciless, raging elements, must not stoop your head before your fellow-men; you must, when the hour comes, as it perhaps soon will, speak and act as your pure brave heart prompts you. Will you?"
She put out her hand to Reinhold.
"I will," said Reinhold, taking her hand.
"And, Reinhold, as surely as these eyes will never see the light of the sun, will that sun s.h.i.+ne on your path, and you will live to be a joy to yourself and a blessing to mankind."
"Good gracious, Cilli!" said Justus, opening the door and standing still on the threshold; "are you celebrating Christmas in November?"
"Yes, Justus!" cried Reinhold; "Christmas, for Christmas it is when the heavens open and the messengers of love come down to announce peace."
"Then," said Justus, shutting the door, "I strongly recommend to them my Memorial Committee, which will not hold its peace, but is always plaguing me with suggestions of which each one is wilder and more impossible than the last. I have just found another letter four pages long, which I have answered in as great a heat as it put me into. And now, Cilli, give me a cup of tea with a little rum in it to cool me, for such--ah! here comes Papa Kreisel! and in the best spirits, as I can see by the twinkle of his eye. Berlin-Sundins have gone up another half per cent.; now we shall have a jolly evening!"
And a jolly evening it was, and when Reinhold went to his room late at night, he found a letter from the President, containing the official announcement that the Minister approved of his appointment, and he must present himself at once at the place in question, as he must enter upon his duties on the 1st of December at latest.
Reinhold let the letter slip from his hand musingly.
"The hour may soon come, she said, and here it is already; it shall find me worthy of her who is purity and truth personified."
CHAPTER VIII.
"Must I really pay the driver twenty silver groschen for my small self and my small box?" asked Meta, bursting into Elsa's room.
"Good gracious, Meta!"
"First answer my question!"
"I do not know."
"Fraulein Elsa does not know either, August!" cried Meta into the pa.s.sage; "so pay him what he asks. And now, you dear, darling, best of creatures, tell me if I am welcome!"
Meta threw her arms round Elsa's neck, laughing and crying both at once. "You see, here I am at last, without any letter, after announcing my arrival fifty times. I could not bear it any longer. As often as papa said, 'You can have the horses tomorrow,' it never came to anything; for when to-morrow arrived the horses were always wanted for somebody or something else. So when he said it again this morning, as we were having our coffee, I said, 'No! not to-morrow, but to-day, immediately, on the spot, _tout de suite!_'--packed my box--that is why it is so small, my clothes had not come home from the wash--you must help me out--and here I am. And as for the cabman, that was only because my papa said: 'Take care you are not cheated!' and my mamma said: 'Cheated! nonsense! if only she has her wits about her!' And so on the way I vowed most solemnly to be desperately wise and not to disgrace you, and so I began at once with the cabman, you see."
And Meta danced about the room and clasped Elsa round the neck again, and exclaimed: "This is the happiest night of my life, and if you send me away again early tomorrow morning it will still have been the happiest night!"
"And I hope that this evening will be followed by many happy ones for both of us. Oh! you do not know, dear Meta, how glad I am to see you!"
cried Elsa, taking Meta in her arms and heartily returning her kiss.