Terminal Compromise

Marvin nodded in agreement. "You're d.a.m.n right we keep it a secret. Why the h.e.l.l should we tell the world how to protect against it? By doing that, we not only define the exact degree of our own exposure, but teach our enemies how to protect them- selves. It should be cla.s.sified."

"And everyone else be d.a.m.ned?" Trump challenged Jacobs.

"I wouldn't put it that way, but NSA is a DoD oriented agency after all. Ask Congress," Marvin said resolutely.

"That's the most alienating, arrogant isolationist att.i.tude I've ever heard," Paul Trump said. "Regardless of what you may think, the NSA is not the end-all be-all, and as you so conveniently dismiss, the NSA is not trusted by many outside the U.S.. We do not have a technology monopoly on TEMPEST any more than we do on the air we breathe." Trump threw up his hands in disgust.

"Patently absurd paranoia..."

"Paul, you don't have all the facts..." objected Marv to no avail. Trump was a master at debate.

"Sir," Trump again turned from the argumentative Jacobs to the President. "I don't think this is proper forum for rehas.h.i.+ng history, but it should be noted that NIST is responsible for non- defense computer security, and we have a staff and budget less than 1% of theirs. The job just isn't getting done. Personally, I consider the state of security within the government to be in total chaos. The private sector is in even worse shape, and it's our own fault."

"Phil?" the President said. "Emergency funding. Congress." Phil nodded as the debate continued. "None of this is saying a d.a.m.n thing about what we should do. How do we best defend?" He bit off the end of crispy slice of bacon waiting for the answer he knew would be unsatisfactory.

"We improvise."

"Improvise! That's the best you can do?" The President threw down his napkin and it slipped off the table to the floor as he shoved his chair back.

"This country is run by G.o.dd.a.m.ned computers," the President muttered loudly as he paced the breakfast room. Those who had been eating ceased long ago. "G.o.dd.a.m.ned computers and morons."

Thursday, January 21

SPREADSHEETS STOP CRUNCHING LOTUS AND MICROSOFT STRUCK by Scott Mason

Last weekend's threats made by the late OSO Industries Chairman, Taki h.o.m.osoto appear to be a trustworthy mirror of the future.

Lotus Development Corporation and Microsoft, two of the software industry's s.h.i.+ning stars are the latest victims of h.o.m.osoto's vengeful attack upon the computer systems of the United States.

With cases of 20-20 hindsight proliferating, security experts claim that we should have seen it coming.

The last several months has been filled with a long series of colossal computer failures, ma.s.sive virus attacks and the

The latest virus debacle comes immediately on the heels of the announcement of the dGraph infections.

Yesterday, Lotus and Microsoft and their dealers were inundated with technical support calls. According to reports, the industry standard 1-2-3 and the popular Excel spreadsheets have been experiencing cataclysmic failures in the field. Typical com- plaints claim the powerful spreadsheet programs are performing basic mathematical functions incorrectly; a veritable disaster for anyone who relies upon the accuracy of their numbers.

The leading theory held by both companies as well as software and security experts, is that a highly targeted computer virus was designed to only affect Lotus and Microsoft spreadsheet files.

While some viruses are designed to erase files, or entire hard disks, the Lotus Virus as it has been informally named, is a highly sophisticated virus designed only to make subtle changes in the results of mathematical calculations.

Viruses of this type are known as Slight Viruses. They only infect small portions of the computer or program, and then only in ways that will hopefully not be detected for some time - thus compounding the damage.

Fortune 100 companies that use either 1-2-3 or Excel nearly unanimously announced that they will put a moratorium on the use of both programs until further notice. Gibraltar Insurance issued a terse statement: "Due to the potential damage caused by the offending software, we will immediately begin installation of compatible spreadsheet programs and verify the accuracy of all data. Our attorneys are studying the matter at this time."

Lotus and Microsoft stock plummeted 36% and 27% respectively.

GOOD ARTICLE. DO YOU WANT TO GET IT RIGHT NOW?

I see humility reigns right up there with responsibility.

THE FIRST LOTUS VIRUSES WERE WRITTEN IN LATE 1988. CUTE, HUH?

THE LONGEST VIRUS INCUBATION PERIOD EVER!

Not many people share your sense of achievement.

I DON'T EXPECT SO.

We should get something straight right off.

ARE YOU SAVING?

I am now. I do not approve, in fact I despise what you say you've done.

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR APPROVAL. MAYBE UNDERSTANDING.

Not from me.

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. IF WE DO THIS, YOU NEED TO PRESENT BOTH SIDES. IT'S TO YOUR BENEFIT. YOU'RE GOING FOR A PULITZER.

Don't tell me how to do my job.

LET'S GET TO IT.

Fine. Where did I go wrong in the article?

NOT WRONG, INCOMPLETE. THERE ARE REALLY 6 VERSIONS OF THE LOTUS VIRUS. ONLY THE FIRST ONE HAS BEEN DETECTED. THE OTHERS AREN'T SET TO GO OFF UNTIL LOTUS HAS TIME TO CLEAN UP THE FIRST MESS.

You mean you built several viruses all aimed at Lotus programs?

AND MICROSOFT, ASHTON TATE, BORLAND, CA, NOVELL, LAN MANAGER, WORDPERFECT, AND A WHOLE BUNCH MORE. THE LIST WAS OVER 100 TO BEGIN WITH.

100? How many viruses? When?

SLIGHT VIRUSES! I LOVE IT. WHAT A NAME. LIKE I SAID, YOU'RE GOOD. I GUESS 500. MAYBE MORE. THEY'RE SET TO GO OFF FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS. TIME RELEASED. TIME RELEASE SLIGHT VIRUSES.

WHEW!

Why? Why tell me now?

SLOW DOWN. NOT ALL AT ONCE. FIRST OF ALL, WE HAVE TO BUILD YOU A LITTLE CREDIBILITY. CONVINCE YOUR PUBLIC THAT I AM WHO I SAY I AM AND THAT I CANNOT BE TOUCHED. SO HERE'S THE FIRST LOTUS VIRUS SIGNATURE - THE CURRENT ONE: 05 55 EF E0 F4 D8 6C 41 44 40 4D.

IN COMPUTERS THAT ARE INFECTED, BUT HAVEN'T YET STRUCK YET, THE VIRUS IS TWO HIDDEN FILES: ONE SHORT ONE NAMED 7610012.EXE.

IT'S ONLY 312 BYTES LONG AND HIDES ITSELF IN THE ROOT DIRECTORY BY LOOKING LIKE A BAD Cl.u.s.tER TO THE SYSTEM. IT'S NEVER EVEN NOTICED. WHEN THE TIME COMES, IT AWAKENS THE SECOND PART OF THE VIRUS, 7610013.EXE WHICH IS SAVED IN A HIDDEN DIRECTORY AND LOOKS LIKE BAD SECTORS. ONLY A FEW K. THAT'S THE FILE THAT SCREWS AROUND WITH 123 MATH FUNCTIONS. AFTER 123 IS INFECTED, THE FILE LENGTH STILL SAYS IT HASN'T BEEN CHANGED AND THE VIRUS ERASES ITSELF AND RETURNS THE SECTORS TO THE DISK. IN THE MEANTIME, LOTUS IS SHOT AND IT IS INFECTING OTHER PROGRAMS. BRILLIANT IF I SAY SO MYSELF.

And you want me to print this? Why?

IT WILL GIVE YOU AND ME CREDIBILITY. YOU'LL BE BELIEVED AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. WE HAVE TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING.