Chapter 104
"I see." He gave a little nod and offered her a sad smile. "So you're going to give me the, 'It's not you, it's me' speech?"
"No..." She smiled in spite of herself. "It's not me either."
"Kaiser." He spat the word out as if it tasted bad. "The b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
"He isn't," she replied. "You don't know him."
"And you do?"
She did. She didn't know how it was possible to be so connected to someone so quickly, but she did. "I can't explain it."
"Wanna try?"
"I can't." She shrugged helplessly.
"All right, come here." He held his arms out again and she hesitated before he said, "Just friends, I promise."
She settled against him again, but it was different. Something had changed. Things had s.h.i.+fted, a door had been opened that couldn't be closed again. It was more than painful to her now, it was awkward.
"You still feel good," he said with a shaky sigh, his mouth too close to her ear.
"I'm sorry."
He groaned. "Quit apologizing."
"I'm-" She went to say it again, reflexively, and yelped in surprise when his hand came down on her denim-clad behind.
"Will you listen to that, then?" Lenny chuckled and she flushed, ashamed at how her body responded to the slap. Her bottom stung, but for the first time since they'd started, she felt a sudden throbbing between her thighs.
"I mean it!' He went on, insistent. "Stand up for yourself. Say something. Do something. Go in there tomorrow, guns blazing, and tell him the truth."
She thought about it, imagined it for a moment, what she might say. It was an impossible reality. If she was someone else, if Kaiser was someone else...
"The truth doesn't matter," she whispered, feeling tears stinging her eyes again.
Lenny sighed. "Why not?"
"Because..." Heidi shook her head, wondering at herself. She should be self-righteously insisting on some sort of justice, appealing to Kaiser's sense of fairness and integrity. Why wasn't she? Why had she continued to kneel before him silently, head bent, humbled and surrendered to his will, sacrificing not only herself, but everything she treasured? "Because I want him to love me more than I want to be right."
She had found her truth and it felt as if it might split her in two as she turned to her friend and sobbed in his arms, not knowing if the cost would ever be worth it...and on some deep level, not really caring. She wanted Kaiser with a fierce and complete abandon that left her trembling and bowed before a desire far greater than she was.
"I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive," Lenny murmured as he rocked her, but she wasn't listening, couldn't hear anything but the keening of her heart for a man whose love she felt sure she would never be worthy of.
Chapter Six.
"Heidi, come into my office and close the door."
She'd been waiting for hours. It was part of her punishment-at least, she fervently hoped it was-sitting there alone at her desk. Kaiser had walked by at seven-thirty-she had been there since five-without a word, not even his usual request for coffee. When he shut his office door, her heart sank, and she nervously smoothed her cream-colored silk skirt, a Versace with a impossibly soft sheen, the ensemble carefully chosen for both fas.h.i.+on and function, the blouse a white b.u.t.ton-down with a smart little vest.
She wanted to call after him, follow him, sink to her knees before him and plead for forgiveness. Instead, she waited, hoping for the phone to ring, the mail to arrive, something that might give her an excuse to knock on that formidably sealed door. Nothing happened. It was nearly ten o'clock before she even heard a sound from his office, and then it was just a brief phone call, his voice smooth but brusque, his words clipped.
Still, the sound of it thrilled her. G.o.d, I really am pathetic, she thought, lowering her head and feeling the tears welling up. She had fought them since her breakdown with Lenny the night before and struggled with her shame, tossing and turning to find cool spots on the sheets, her body feverish with hope and yearning. When Kaiser hadn't called by midnight, she knew he wasn't going to, and she cried herself to sleep, half-wis.h.i.+ng she had let Lenny stay and comfort her completely, giving him her body and her bed.
But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her loyalties now lay with one man, and no matter what her head said, her heart couldn't be swayed. Maybe Lenny's right-I'm under Kaiser's spell. Clearly the man weaved a web of enchantment about women...at least, some women. She had a long time, sitting there, to wonder just how many "secretaries" he'd been through. Why should she be any different? She wanted to be, hoped she was-but she didn't really believe it.
And still, the moment he opened the door and called her name, she was out of her seat and standing obediently beside his desk before she could even take another breath. Kaiser took his time, his jaw set as he drew the thousand-dollar Valentino drapes. They were both light-blocking and thermal, and when they were closed the room sat in near-darkness. Heidi blinked, her eyes adjusting, as Kaiser crossed the room toward her.
"Turn around and face my desk."
Heidi did as she was told, her eyes closing in relief. Thank G.o.d. He was going to punish her. Surely that meant he wouldn't fire her, wouldn't send her away. It was the worst thing she could imagine. She didn't care if she couldn't walk for a week-she could take any reprimand, pay any price but that one.
"Pull up your skirt."
She did so gratefully, resting her cheek against the blotter, her eyes at his waist-level as he began unbuckling his belt. The air was cool over her bottom and her panty-less p.u.s.s.y already ached with longing.
"I told you this would never be about violence or anger." Kaiser stood beside her and spoke as he slowly pulled his belt from the loops. She watched and listened with a growing apprehension mixed with an undeniable thrill that s.h.i.+vered its way up her spine. "I meant that. But you really pushed me yesterday."
She couldn't explain her outburst. There was no excuse for what she'd done, except for the truth, and she couldn't possibly tell him that.
Kaiser sighed, shaking his head. "Andrea Paxton is our debut designer. You know how important she is to our show."
Yeah, she knew. That was the problem, really. But again, Heidi kept her mouth shut.
"I don't know what you were
She nodded, whimpering as one of his fingers trembled against her a.s.shole, pressing gently. "Tell me."
"I will, sir," she gasped as Kaiser stroked, rubbed, just one finger, right there, making her want to squirm. She fought the urge.
"Are you ever going to pull a jealous little stunt like you did yesterday?"
Jealous stunt. So that's how he'd rationalized her irrational behavior. That, too, was a relief, and she agreed with him, "No, sir."
"Promise me." Kaiser's finger traced circles, oh so distracting.
"Yes, yes!" Heidi bit her lip, closing her eyes. "I promise." The belt came down swiftly and she jumped, quickly realizing her error and adding, "Sir! Yes, sir, I promise!"
"Count it out." Kaiser moved fully behind her, his hand gone from her bottom, and she braced herself, sensing his presence behind her. He was readying himself.
"One!" she gasped as his belt met her flesh.
"Two!" The second one bit into her thigh.
"Three!" He wasn't holding back and she felt tears stinging now.
"Four! Five! Six!" She would be begging for him to stop before he was finished, she was sure of it, and she fought the urge to cover her behind with her hands. Her a.s.s was on fire!
"Seven! Eight! Oh! No! Nine!" His belt met the sensitive flesh of her p.u.s.s.y as she wiggled and tried to arch away and she yelped when he grabbed her hips, holding her still.
"Ten! Eleven! Oh G.o.d, Kaiser, please! Twelve! Thirt-iiieeeee-een!" Normally a very unlucky number, this was Heidi's lucky day. Kaiser sat down in his desk chair, directing her. "On your knees."
She complied, turning, sinking down between his thighs and looking up at him with wet eyes.
"You spent most of your teen years in a foster home, didn't you?" He rubbed his thumb over her jaw line, looking pensive.
She didn't ask how he knew. She just nodded in agreement, whispering, "Yes, sir. It was a textile farm in Georgia. Sheep, silkworms, cotton...they did a little of everything."
"That's where you learned to weave?" he inquired. "Unb.u.t.ton your blouse, Heidi."
"Yes, I learned to weave and spin." She worked the b.u.t.tons down to the last.
"You've come a long way from Georgia, haven't you?" he asked, fondling her breast though the lacy material of her bra. The bra.s.siere was black, although the top was white-he liked to see her bra through her blouse.
"You've come a long way from Texas," she dared, meeting his eyes.
"Maybe not as far as we think, hm?" He gave her a small smile. "Did they treat you well?"
"There were eight of us," Heidi said. She didn't like remembering and didn't know why he was asking, but if he wanted to know, she'd tell him. "We worked for them."
"Were you punished when you were bad?" he inquired, unb.u.t.toning his trousers. She just nodded, focused on the path of his downward zipper. "Did he hurt you?"
"Sometimes," she admitted. Corporal punishment had been the discipline of choice, although the truth was, Heidi was obedient and rarely got beaten.
"Did he touch you?"
It took her a moment to realize what he meant. "Oh...no."
"Did she?"
"No!" Her eyes widened. "A few of the older boys...sometimes...we never got caught..."
"Yes, you would want that." Kaiser chuckled. "So very tactile." He pulled her closer by her hair and rubbed her face against the material of his boxers, his c.o.c.k hard against her cheek. "I think I know now why you started where you did here at Kaiser. You really felt you couldn't do any better, didn't you?" He frowned at the way her eyes teared up. "Tell me, how did you get interested in fas.h.i.+on?"
"I guess it started with texture..." She nudged his c.o.c.k with her movements, eager for him but following his lead, as always. His boxers were pure silk and the feel of them against her skin was divine. "The fabrics... real silk, the rough edge of wool. I didn't like it there, most of the time, but that part was good. I learned a lot. They went out of business the year after I graduated and went to college. American businesses can't compete, as you probably well know. Most of that kind of stuff is s.h.i.+pped out of China now."
"But it was the fabric that interested you?" he asked, making a small noise in his throat when her eager tongue flicked at him through his boxers.
"Yes." She breathed in his scent, so very hungry for him. "I couldn't keep my hands off it, and when I discovered fas.h.i.+on magazines, well..."
"You really are incredibly tactile," he murmured, sliding his boxers down a little and letting his c.o.c.k spring free. "A kinesthetic learner."
"Yes," she breathed, biting her lip and looking up at the tower of his c.o.c.k.
"I want you to apologize."
"I'm sorry-"
"No words." Kaiser leaned over and grabbed his cane, uns.c.r.e.w.i.n.g the tip and sliding the black leather crop into his hand. He slipped it behind her head, holding both ends and using it to pull her head closer to his crotch. "But definitely with your mouth, Heidi. Apologize with your mouth."
She made a happy sound as she reached for him, her hand wrapping around his thickness. He used the crop to swat at her, the flat end reaching only down to her lower back, eliciting a squeal in surprise.
"No hands," he admonished. "Put them behind your back." She did so as he positioned the crop again behind her head, using a hand on each end to guide her mouth back to his c.o.c.k. "Suck."
She took the head first, licking like an ice cream cone, but the pressure of the crop on the back of her neck drove him deeper into her mouth and she opened wide to take him, letting him slowly f.u.c.k her throat. His eyes were half-closed, watching as he disappeared into her mouth again and again.
"Off your knees," he directed. "I want you squatting down."
She struggled to comply without letting his c.o.c.k slip from between her lips and actually managed it. Her thighs trembled-it wasn't an easy position, even when she wasn't wearing heels-as she squatted and sucked on him, still just as greedy.
"Pull your bra down."
Her blouse was already undone and she moved her hands from behind her back to pull the black lace of her bra underneath her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, letting them spill out against his thighs. Then her hands went obediently behind her back again, although her p.u.s.s.y was begging to be touched.
"Don't let your a.s.s touch the floor," he warned as she struggled to keep her balance, taking him back into her mouth. Again he used the crop to guide her, setting a slow pace. He seemed to be enjoying the sight of her more than the b.l.o.w.j.o.b itself-the way her thighs shook, the sway of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the cherry red swelling of her mouth taking his c.o.c.k.
"Uuuunnnh..." The sound came from low in his chest and he let her eager mouth take him faster, deeper, truly f.u.c.king her throat now. Saliva slid unnoticed down her chin and her b.r.e.a.s.t.s as the speed picked up, faster still. Heidi made hungry noises, greedy for his c.u.m.
"Stop!"
She groaned softly, slowly letting his wet c.o.c.k slide out of her mouth with a breathless sigh of regret.
"Good girl," he murmured, sliding back in his chair, the wheels squeaking noisily-she had a feeling, from Kaiser's frown at the sound, she'd be down there oiling them at some point in the next week. "Don't move."
Kaiser stood and Heidi struggled to keep her balance now that he wasn't there to lean on, her thighs aching beyond her endurance, her shoulders throbbing from keeping her hands clasped tightly behind her back. He stepped out of his trousers, folding them neatly and setting them on his desk. Then he pushed the b.u.t.ton underneath, locking the door, and walked over to the gla.s.s table by the window, the curtains still drawn, leaning against it and looking at her.
"Stand and take off everything but your stockings."
Heidi stood, sliding her blouse off and putting it on the desk beside his pants. Her skirt zipped seamlessly up the side and she wiggled that down her hips, letting it fall to the floor. She reached for it, but Kaiser said, "Leave it," so she stepped out of her heels and stood there in the puddle of her skirt, hands behind her back again, and waited for his next direction.
"There's a bottle in my left-hand drawer," he said. "Get it."
She pulled the drawer open and found it almost immediately-there was no label, but it was some sort of oil in a gla.s.s bottle. She opened it at his prompting and the smell of roses filled her senses.
"Rub it on," he instructed and watched her pour some into her palm, rubbing her hands together and then working the oil into her shoulders, her belly, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Everywhere," he insisted, and she slid her slick hands between her legs with a pained whimper. Her p.u.s.s.y was already soaking wet and just the brief touch made her c.l.i.t throb.
"Come here." He beckoned and she walked to him, her body glistening, and he patted the table. "Up. On your belly."
Well...this was new. She a.s.sessed the clear gla.s.s surface, knowing it was going to be cold, but didn't really hesitate. Leaning over, she grabbed the edge and pulled, her hands almost too slick to get any traction, but she managed. Once up, her oily body slid easily over the gla.s.s and she moaned at the sensation of her nipples sliding across the table.
Kaiser disappeared from her view for a moment and then he was dribbling oil over her back and her a.s.s, spreading it with his big hands from the tops of her stockings all the way up to her neck, making her moan-she couldn't help it.
"Put your hands behind your back."