Chapter 33
'Then of course I took to it, like a duck to water, and it began to scare him that I loved it so much. He and Catherine only loved religion, and us, and the poor. So he always took it away on Sundays. Then I hated Sundays, and would never be good on them. One Sunday I cried myself nearly into a fit on the dining-room floor because I mightn't have it.
Then he came in, and he took me up, and he tied a Scotch plaid round his neck, and he put me into it, and carried me away right up on to the hills, and he talked to me like an angel. He asked me not to make him sad before G.o.d that he had given me that violin; so I never screamed again--on Sundays!
Her companion's eyes were not quite as clear as before.
'Poor little naughty child' he said, bending over to her. 'I think your father must have been a man to be loved.'
She looked at him, very near to weeping, her face all working with a soft remorse.
'Oh, so he was--so he was! If he had been hard and ugly to us, why, it would have been much easier for _me_; but he was so good! And there was Catherine just like him, always preaching to us what he wished. You see what a chain it's been--what a weight! And as I must struggle--_must_, because I was I--to get back into the world on the other side of the mountains, and do what all the dear wicked people there were doing, why, I have been a criminal all my life! And _that_ isn't exhilarating always.'
And she raised her arm and let it fall beside her with the quick over-tragic emotion of nineteen.
'I wish your father could have heard you play as I heard you play yesterday,' he said gently.
She started.
'_Did_ you hear me--that Wagner?'
He nodded, smiling. She still looked at him, her lips slightly open.
'Do you want to know what I thought? I have heard much music, you know.'
He laughed into her eyes, as much as to say, 'I am not quite the mummy you thought me, after all!' And she coloured slightly.
'I have heard every violinist of any fame in Europe play, and play often; and it seemed to me that with time--and work--you might play as well as any of them.'
The slight flush became a glow that spread from brow to chin. Then she gave a long breath and turned away, her face resting on her hand.
'And I can't help thinking,' he went on, marvelling inwardly at his own role of mentor, and his strange enjoyment of it, 'that if your father had lived till now, and had gone with the times a little, as he must have gone, he would have learnt to take pleasure in your pleasure, and to fit your gift somehow into his scheme of things.'
'Catherine hasn't moved with the times,' said Rose dolefully.
Langham was silent. _Gaucherie_ seized him again when it became a question of discussing Mrs. Elsmere, his own view was so inconveniently emphatic.
'And you think,' she went on, 'you _really_ think, without being too ungrateful to papa, and too unkind to the old Leyburn ghosts'--and a little laugh danced through the vibrating voice--'I might try and get them to give up Burwood--I might struggle to have my way? I shall, of course I shall! I never was a meek martyr, and never shall be. But one can't help having qualms, though one doesn't tell them to one's sisters and cousins and aunts. And sometimes'--she turned her chin round on her hand and looked at him with
Even as she spoke her own words startled her--the confidence, the abandonment of them. But she held to them bravely; only her eyelids quivered. She had absurdly misjudged this man, and there was a warm penitence in her heart. How kind he had been, how sympathetic!
He rose with her last words, and stood leaning against the mantelpiece, looking down upon her gravely, with the air, as it seemed to her, of her friend, her confessor. Her white childish brow, the little curls of bright hair upon her temples, her parted lips, the pretty folds of the muslin dress, the little foot on the fender--every detail of the picture impressed itself once for all. Langham will carry it with him to his grave.
'Tell me,' she said again, smiling divinely, as though to encourage him--'tell me quite frankly, down to the bottom, what you think?'
The harsh noise of an opening door in the distance, and a gust of wind sweeping through the house, voices and steps approaching. Rose sprang up, and, for the first time during all the latter part of their conversation, felt a sharp sense of embarra.s.sment.
'How early you are, Robert!' she exclaimed, as the study door opened, and Robert's wind-blown head and tall form, wrapped in an Inverness cape, appeared on the threshold. 'Is Catherine tired?'
'Rather,' said Robert, the slightest gleam of surprise betraying itself on his face. 'She has gone to bed, and told me to ask you to come and say good-night to her.'
'You got my message about not coming from old Martha?' asked Rose. 'I met her on the common.'
'Yes, she gave it us at the church door.' He went out again into the pa.s.sage to hang up his greatcoat. She followed, longing to tell him that it was pure accident that took her to the study, but she could not find words in which to do it, and could only say good-night a little abruptly.
'How tempting that fire looks!' said Robert, re-entering the study.
'Were you very cold, Langham, before you lit it?'
'Very,' said Langham, smiling, his arm behind his head, his eyes fixed on the blaze; 'but I have been delightfully warm and happy since.'
CHAPTER XIV
Catherine stopped beside the drawing-room window with a start, caught by something she saw outside.
It was nothing, however, but the figures of Rose and Langham strolling round the garden. A bystander would have been puzzled by the sudden knitting of Catherine's brows over it.
Rose held a red parasol, which gleamed against the trees; Dandie leapt about her, but she was too busy talking to take much notice of him.
Talking, chattering, to that cold cynic of a man, for whom only yesterday she had scarcely had a civil word! Catherine felt herself a prey to all sorts of vague unreasonable alarms.
Robert had said to her the night before, with an odd look: 'Wifie, when I came in I found Langham and Rose had been spending the evening together in the study. And I don't know when I have seen Langham so brilliant or so alive as in our smoking talk just now!'
Catherine had laughed him to scorn; but, all the same, she had been a little longer going to sleep than usual. She felt herself almost as much as ever the guardian of her sisters, and the old sensitive nerve was set quivering. And now there could be no question about it--Rose had changed her ground towards Mr. Langham altogether. Her manner at breakfast was evidence enough of it.
Catherine's self-torturing mind leapt on for an instant to all sorts of horrors. _That_ man!--and she and Robert responsible to her mother and her dead father! Never! Then she scolded herself back to common sense.
Rose and he had discovered a common subject in music and musicians. That would be quite enough to account for the new-born friends.h.i.+p on Rose's part. And in five more days, the limit of Langham's stay, nothing very dreadful _could_ happen, argued the reserved Catherine.
But she was uneasy, and after a bit, as that _tete-a-tete_ in the garden still went on, she could not, for the life of her, help interfering. She strolled out to meet them with some woollen stuff hanging over her arm, and made a plaintive and smiling appeal to Rose to come and help her with some preparations for a mothers' meeting to be held that afternoon.
Rose, who was supposed by the family to be 'taking care' of her sister at a critical time, had a moment's p.r.i.c.k of conscience, and went off with a good grace. Langham felt vaguely that he owed Mrs. Elsmere another grudge, but he resigned himself and took out a cigarette, wherewith to console himself for the loss of his companion.
Presently, as he stood for a moment turning over some new books on the drawing-room table, Rose came in. She held an armful of blue serge, and, going up to a table in the window, she took from it a little work-case, and was about to vanish again when Langham went up to her.
'You look intolerably busy,' he said to her, discontentedly.
'Six dresses, ten cloaks, eight petticoats to cut out by luncheon time,'
she answered demurely, with a countenance of most Dorcas-like seriousness, 'and if I spoil them I shall have to pay for the stuff!'
He shrugged his shoulders and looked at her, smiling, still master of himself and of his words.
'And no music--none at all? Perhaps you don't know that I too can accompany?'
'You play!' she exclaimed, incredulous.
'Try me.'
The light of his fine black eyes seemed to encompa.s.s her. She moved backward a little, shaking her head. 'Not this morning,' she said. 'Oh dear, no, not this morning! I am afraid you don't know anything about tacking or fixing, or the abominable time they take. Well, it could hardly be expected. There is nothing in the world'--and she shook her serge vindictively--'that I hate so much!'
'And not this afternoon, for Robert and I go fis.h.i.+ng. But this evening?'
he said, detaining her.