Chapter 140
While the blurry forest continues to whish past, I think about how perfect my instincts are. From the moment I saw him, I knew Hypocrite was a wolf in sheeps clothing. His believable expression and mannerisms that resembled a humble villager were completely different from the usual snooty way he acts.
I'm not sure why I dislike Hypocrite so much. He's never personally done anything wrong to me, but my feelings towards him have always been biased. I think it's my ability to discern underlying emotions that most people aren't able to see. People only see his mask and miss his true emotions. Not that his real emotions have evil intentions like some villain. In fact, most of the time, his eyes are hiding a deep seeded remorse and regret. He always has those feeling with him, no matter when I've seen him during the entire time I've known him. It feels like he's
He's unwilling to face whatever he's dealing with and instead opting to ignore it, letting it acc.u.mulate. I've noticed, the density of those emotions are getting heavier. Other emotions have starting appearing as well. Self-reproach. Degradation. Disgust.
If I were in my old world, I'd probably think he should see a therapist, but I'm not in my old world anymore. I'm in this war-ridden deathscape. A place where, let alone worrying about your mental health, you have to worry about your life first. Ive observed that most of the soldiers are showing sign of ptsd or some sort of mental fatigue, but they talk to their fellow comrade, you can relate to their situation, to lessen the burden.
This absolute idiot, Hypocrite, on the other hand, continues to bottle everything up. It's going to explode one day, I know it will! One day he won't be able to handle the mental pressure and will crash and burn. It'll be too late for regrets then. I don't understand why he's doing this to himself...does he not realize when he breaks, it will not only affect him, but the people around him that care for him? Kuro depends on his insight to protect them and their soldiers. Why can't he see that?!
I-I want to say it. I want to tell him how stupid he's being, but I can't. What right do I have to b.u.t.t in? I'm not some shoujo protagonist or an otome game mc. I can't just magically make people feel better with my words...
So instead I will stand on the sidelines and watch. I will be an observer. I...don't want to get too attached to anyone in this world anyways, It's not like I'm supposed to be here. Ha...look at me, running away again. But this is for the best, I don't want to cause more damage.