Real Life In London

Such was the character of the fellow now placed in the ominous guidance of an exasperated mult.i.tude; they urged him forward to the place of punishment; but the tumultuary a.s.semblage were disappointed in their antic.i.p.ated vengeance, by the interposition of the turnkeys, and the pretended friend escaped the meditated castigation.

"Observe, again," said the narrator, "that das.h.i.+ng young fellow, arrayed in the first style of dandyism."

"My good fellow," interrupted Bob, "he is not, I should think, one of the community; he has, apparently, the manners of the well bred and accomplished gentleman." "And for that very reason, Sir, is the better qualified to ~29~~ carry on his profession with impunity; he whom you dignify with the appellation of a well bred and accomplished gentleman, is all that you have expressed of him, with the exception of one word, that is, subst.i.tute for gentleman, swindler, and the character is justly delineated. This fellow, of desperate enterprize, is one of the numerous pract.i.tioners of knavery, who set themselves up for men of property and integrity, the more easily to defraud the unwary and ignorant out of their substance and effects. This Spark, connecting himself with several others of similar pursuit, they took a genteel house in a respectable part of the town, and dividing themselves into cla.s.ses of masters, clerks, out-riders, shopmen, porters, and servants, and thus making a show of opulence, they easily obtained credit, and laid in goods of every kind, which they sent into the country and sold, or bartered for other commodities; these commodities they brought up to London, and sold for ready money, generally taking in exchange double the quant.i.ty, and paying for the same with notes of their own drawing, indorsing, and fabricating, for the purpose of cheating the poor deluded farmer, shopkeeper, and tradesman in the interior of the country. With respect to tradesmen in town, the goods they took of them on trust they disposed of to Jews, and other receivers of stolen goods, at about thirty per cent under value, for ready money, nay, forty per cent rather than not have the cash; and as their stay in one place could not safely exceed five months, on account of their creditors calling in their debts, and their country notes becoming due, they used to make all possible dispatch to dispose of the various articles, and evacuate the premises before detection. This done, they played the same game elsewhere, when, _Proteus_ like, they changed shapes, and disguised themselves so as not to be known, and carried on business in another house, but in a different name; the master became the rider, the rider the master, the clerks descended to footmen and porters, the footmen to porters and clerks, and so on throughout, until they had drained many parts of the town and country, to the ruin of several worthy and honest families.

However, the co-partners.h.i.+p is now dissolved, the establishment is broke up, and the different individuals of this nefarious gang of depredators, of whom the well bred and accomplished gentleman, the subject of our remarks, is one of the princ.i.p.als, are consigned to ~30~~ different gaols for further examination and final commitment."

Dashall expressed thanks for the interesting communication, and the Squire his astonishment that the credulity of man could warrant the hope of success to such a combination, however systematically arranged; and where so many were concerned (and the distribution of plunder perhaps by no means equalized,) that some dissatisfied individual did not renounce the dangerous connection in the hope of impunity and reward.

"We know not that there is any subordinate division of spoil," said the other; "but if such there be, it may in this union of interests be the maxim as with other co-partners.h.i.+p concerns, that he, by whatsoever means, who contributes the most to the general stock, shall partic.i.p.ate the most in the general benefit.

"Swindlers have other means of cheating and tricking the public, such as answering the advertis.e.m.e.nts of tradesmen who are in want of a sum to make good a payment, and offering, in consideration of a small premium, to get them the money required, on their note of hand, which they premise must be first given, and the money will be immediately advanced; the necessitated person agrees to the terms, and unthinkingly gives his note, which one of the Swindlers carries away, with a promise of a speedy return with the money wanted, but neither Swindler nor note is forthcoming until it becomes due, after having pa.s.sed through many different hands, some of whom can ascertain giving a valuable consideration for the same, and fix the drawer to the payment, whose consolation for his credulity is, paying the money or going to prison.

"In case of a stagnation of trade, the Swindlers advertise themselves to borrow or lend upon good security. If they borrow, they have sham deeds, and make false conveyance of estates in _nubibus_, n.o.body knows where; if they lend, they artfully inveigle the borrower out of his security, which they take up money upon and convert to their own use, without the deluded person's knowledge; and by absconding, leave him to the mortification of descanting on their roguery, and his own want of foresight."

~31~~ The triumvirate were once more interrupted; a newcomer had arrived, and the prisoners hailed his initiation with the first stanza of an old song:--

"Welcome, welcome, brother debtor, To this poor, but merry place, Where no Bailiff, Dun, nor Setter,{1} Dares to shew his frightful face: But, kind Sir, as you're a stranger, Down your garnish you must lay, Else your coat will be in danger,-- You must either strip or pay!"

1 Setters--This appellation is applicable to others than those-alluded to in the above stanza, as connected with Duns and Bailiffs. They are a dangerous set of wretches, who are capable of committing any villany, as well by trepanning a rich heir into matrimony with a cast-off mistress or common prost.i.tute, as by coupling a young heiress with a notorious sharper, down to the lowest scene of setting debtors for the bailiff and his followers. Smitten with the first glance of the lady, you resign your heart, the conjugal knot is tied, and, like the Copper Captain, you find the promised land, houses, and furniture, the property of another, and not of yourself.

The novitiate, neither surprised at his reception, nor adverse to the custom of the place, seemed quite at home, paid his garnish without hesitation, and entered at once into the vacuum of indifference with his new a.s.sociates.

The attention of Dashall and Tallyho was attracted by the clank of fetters, as one of the prisoners squatted himself on the pavement of the yard. Leaning his back against the wall, he commenced darning an old stocking, chanting at same time an old song from the Beggar's Opera, as if predicting his own fate, yet with a manner indicating the most callous indifference--

"Since laws were made for every degree, To curb vice in others as well as in me, I wonder we ha'n't better company Upon Tyburn tree.----

But gold from law can

The irreclaimable depravity of this man could not excite any urgent feeling of sympathy in his behalf, and our two friends took no further notice of him.

~32~~ Their Intelligencer, who in the meanwhile had gone forth for information, now advancing,--"I thought," said he, "that I had seen elsewhere this Johnny Newcome; he is a sharper, another precious addition to our respectable community."{1}

"Respectable, indeed," exclaimed Tallyho, as he detected an urchin thief in the act of picking his pocket of his handkerchief. This hopeful imp, though young in years, was experienced in iniquity, had served an active apprentices.h.i.+p to the art of picking pockets with impunity,

1 The Sharper, who has generally had a genteel education, is a person of good address and conversation, has more the power of delusion at will than the unlettered cheat, devoid of address and other requisites to complete the pretended gentleman, and therefore should be more carefully avoided.

These villains, having run through their fortunes at an early period of life by a.s.sociating with professed gamblers and sharpers, (who having eased them of their money, in return complete them for the profession by which they have been ruined) set up for themselves, throw aside honour and conscience, and quote the lex talionis for deceiving others, as they themselves have been deceived. These gentry are to be met with at horse-races, c.o.c.k-fights, the billiard and hazard tables, and at all public places of diversion. On your entering the coffee-house, tavern, or gaming-house, the Sharper views you with attention, and is not long before he becomes acquainted and very intimate with you; if you agree to his proposal to play, if he cannot beat you by fair, he will by foul means. Rather than lose, he will elude your attention, and raise your pa.s.sion sufficiently to put you off your guard, while he plays his underhand game, and cheats you before your face; and though you are sensible of being cheated, yet you shall not be able to discover by what means it is effected. The various methods sharpers have to cheat and deceive are so many and unaccountable, that it would exceed the limits of our publication to detail even the tenth-part of them; their study is to supply their exigencies by means within their power, however wicked or villanous. If you a.s.sociate with sharpers, you must not only expect, but deserve to be cheated by them for your credulity; for who would go with his eyes open into a den of thieves, but in expectation of being robbed? Or, who would herd with sharpers, and not expect to be cheated? We would therefore advise the stranger in London to shun these reptiles of the creation, fraught with guile, and artful as the serpent to delude. Beware of their conversation, avoid their company, take no notice of their tricks, nor be caught by their wheedling professions of friends.h.i.+p; listen not to any of their enticements, if you would preserve your peace and property; be not fond of making new acquaintance with persons you do not know, however genteel in appearance and behaviour, for many a villain lurks under the disguise of a modern fine gentle-man; and if any stranger asks you to play with him for money, set him down in your mind as a Sharper,"

and leave the room immediately.

~33~~and at last became so great an adept in the profession, that at the early age of thirteen years he was unanimously elected captain of an organized band of juvenile depredators, some much younger, none older than himself, who for a considerable length of time set at defiance the vigilance of the police. These young fry carried on a long protracted successful war of extermination against ladies' reticules. One urchin, watching her approach, would lay himself across the path she must pa.s.s, and it frequently happened that she tumbled over him; a grab was then made at the reticule, the watch, and the shawl, with which the young villains generally got clear off. Others, in detachments of two or three, would hover about the door or window of a tradesman's shop, cut out a pane of gla.s.s, and abstract some valuable trinket; or watch the retirement of the shopkeeper into his back-room, when one of the most enterprizing would enter on hands and knees, crawl round the counter with the stillness of death, draw out the till with its contents, and bear off the spoil with impunity. One night, however, luckily for the public, the whole gang was made prisoners of, and dispersed to various gaols, each delinquent being ordered a severe flogging and solitary confinement. Availing himself of this indulgence, the Captain had watched the opportunity of approximating towards Tallyho, and was detected, as we said before, in the exercise of his former propensities; so difficult it is to eradicate vice from the human mind, even though in this instance so early implanted. Lenity in this case would have been equally misplaced as unjust, although the Squire humanely pressed his intercession; the incorrigible pilferer was therefore handed over to the custody of one of the turnkeys, until the Governor might award a punishment suitable to the heinousness of the offence.

The two friends had been here above an hour--it was an hour they thought not idly spent. And now leaving a small donation for distribution amongst such as appeared deserving objects, they returned home gratified by the additional knowledge acquired of _Real Life in London_.~34~~

CHAPTER III

"......Would you see The Debtors' world, confide yourself to me.

Come; safely shall you pa.s.s the fatal door, Nor fear it shuts you in, to ope no more.

See, frowning grimly o'er the Borough Road, The crossing spikes that crown the dark abode!

O! how that iron seems to pierce the soul Of him, whom hurrying wheels to prison roll, What time from Serjeants' Inn some Debtor pale The Tipstaff renders in default of bail.

Black shows that grisly ridge against the sky, As near he draws and lifts an anxious eye: Then on his bosom each peculiar spike, Arm'd with its proper ill, appears to strike."

THE recollection of past enjoyments in the vivacious company of Merry well, could not fail to be revived in the minds of Dashall and his Cousin; and as some persons, with due attention to his safety, had manifested their interest and regard for him by obtaining his admission to the Priory, where he was at this moment pursuing his studies, and could not quite so conveniently call on them, an early visit was determined on.

"We shall," said Tom, "by a call on Merrywell after six weeks residence among the gay blades that inhabit the walls of the King's Bench, have all the benefit of his previous observation. He will be able to delineate the characters, consciences, and conduct of his neighbours.

He will describe all the comforts and advantages of a college life, introduce us to the Bloods and the Blacks, and, in short, there are few persons I know, except Sparkle himself, more able to conduct us through the intricacies of the Building, to point out the beauty and excellence of the establishment, its uses and abuses, than Merrywell."

"Do they charge any thing on admittance?"enquired Bob.

"O yes," was the reply, "they charge you, by a public ~35~~ notice in the lobby, not to convey into the interior any spirituous liquors, on pain of being yourself discharged from thence, and confined elsewhere.

Bless your soul, why the King's Bench is a little world within itself, a sort of epitome of London; it is in a healthy situation, and the s.p.a.ce which it occupies is extensive. There are in all 224 rooms, and they measure each about 14 or 16 feet by 12 or 13; of these, eight are called State-rooms, are much larger than the rest, and more commodious; and a well-breech'd customer may have almost any accommodation. It is the prison most immediately belonging to the Court of King's Bench, and, exclusive of debtors there sued, all persons standing in contempt of that Court, and most of those committed under its sentence, are confined."

"And pretty generally all inhabited?" interrogated Tallyho.

"Yes, and frequently it is difficult to obtain a place to sleep in even as a chum."

Bob found himself at fault, and required an explanation of the word chum.

"The chum," replied Dashall, "is a partner or bed-fellow, a person who has an equal right to all the comforts and conveniences of a room, previously wholly in the possession of one."

"I understand," said Bob; "then when every room has already one occupant, they accommodate him with a companion."

"Exactly so, and he may prove friend or foe. This, however, may be avoided, if the student is in possession of the rubbish, by an escape into the Rules, which extend for three miles round the priory. These Rules are purchaseable after the following rate, viz. Ten guineas for the first hundred pounds, and about half that sum for every hundred pounds afterwards; day-rules, of which three may be obtained in every term, may be purchased for 4s. 2d. for the first day, and 3s. 10d. for the rest. Each also must give good security to the Marshal.~36~~

"----The fiction of the law supposes, That every prisoner, with means to pay, (For he that has not this advantage loses,) Either has business in the courts, or may; Bond, fee, and sureties fresh prepare the way And Mister Broothoft's manual sign declares 'That Mister such-a-one, on such a day, 'Hath got a rule of Court, and so repairs 'To town, or elsewhere, call'd by his affairs.'

This little Talisman of strange effect, (Four s.h.i.+llings just and sixpence is the price) From Bailiff's power the wearer will protect, And nullify a Capias in a trice: It bears a royal head in quaint device, At least as true as that which Wellesley Pole, With taste for English artists much too nice, Stamp'd by Pistrucci's aid (Heaven rest his soul!

And s.h.i.+eld henceforth the Mint from his controul.)

In various ways the various purchasers That sally forth with this protecting spell, Employ the privilege this grant confers: Some, like myself, their lawyer's citadel Besiege, his speed long striving to impel; To take a dinner with a friend some go; In fas.h.i.+on's haunts some for an hour to swell; Some strive, what creditors intend, to know; And some the moments on their love bestow."

"Thus you have a full, true, and particular, as well as amusing account, of a Day Rule, or what in the cant language of the day is termed hiring a horse, which sometimes proves a bolter."

"And what is meant by a bolter?"

"He is one," replied Dashall, "who, having obtained the privilege of a Day Rule, brushes off, and leaves his bondsmen, or the Marshal, to pay his debt; or one who transgresses the bounds; but such a one when retaken, usually undergoes some discipline from the inhabitants of the College, who being all honourable men, set their faces against such ungentleman-like proceedings."

"Then they do sometimes make an escape?"

"Yes, notwithstanding their restrictive arrangements, such things have occurred, and you must recollect that of Lord Cochrane, confined for the memorable Stock Exchange hoax. The means by which it was effected, I believe, have never been discovered; but certain it is, that he was in the House of Commons, while a prisoner in the King's Bench, and on the first night of his subsequent liberation, gave the casting vote against a proposed grant to a certain Duke."

"I remember it very well, and also remember that the generality of thinking persons considered his Lords.h.i.+p harshly treated."

~37~~ "However, he is now bravely fighting the battles of independence, increasing both his fame and fortune, while some of the Ministerial hirelings are subjected to a similar privation. We shall have a view of some of the residents in this renowned place of fas.h.i.+onable resort; the interior of which perhaps exhibits a spectacle far more diversified, and if possible more immoral and vicious, than the exterior. There are quondam gentlemen of fortune, reduced either so low as not to be able to pay for the Rules, or so unprincipled and degraded as to have no friend at command who could with safety become their surety. Shop-keepers, whose knavery having distanced even their extravagance, dread the appearance of ease exhibited in the Rules and the detection of fraud, by producing the reverse of their independence, and who even grudge the expenditure of money, to obtain limited liberty.

Uncertificated bankrupts, and unconvicted felons; Jews--gamblers by trade--horse-dealers--money scriveners--bill discounters--annuity procurers--disinterested profligates--unemployed and branded attorneys--scandal mongers and libel writers--Gazetted publicans, and the perhaps less culpable sinners of broken officers--reduced mechanics--starving authors, and cast-off Cyprians."

"A very comprehensive and animated account truly," said Tallyho.