Netherworld Investigator

"What serial murders you talking about?" I asked Lao Yao. "Don't listen to Dali. There's nothing of the sort. It's only a simple case of murder."

"Are you still trying to keep secrets from me?" he said with a sly smile on his face. "Have you forgotten that I've seen you b.u.t.t naked?"

"Can you please never bring that up again?" I pleaded. "And please delete that photo. It's hurting my reputation!"

"No can do, Little Song," he said with raised eyebrows. "What am I going to use as my screensaver if I delete it? Speaking of which, have your b.u.t.tcheeks always been that cute, Little Song?"

I almost coughed up blood when I heard that. In all his four years of college life, Lao Yao never had a girlfriend. In fact, he never seemed interested in girls at all. But with boys, he'd try to get very close to them and touch them at every opportunity he could. Those who are even slightly attractive were in special danger. For that behavior, his h.o.m.os.e.xuality was pretty much an open secret among the students here.

I had no problems with that, of course, since it was none of my business. But the point was that I wasn't gay, so when I thought of how another man would stare at my picture and fantasize about me, it just brought terrible s.h.i.+vers down my spine.

"Lao Yao," said Dali, "your Sona just got stabbed to death by Garen, dude."

"Why didn't you do anything, you moron!" Lao Yao said. "Stand in for me!"

Dali glared at me but said nothing. He just meekly sat down and played the game for Lao Yao.

Lao Yao scratched his head, and flakes of dandruff rained down from it. I quickly took a few steps away from him.

"Fine, I'm done teasing you," he said. "what exactly do you need me to do?"

"Didn't Dali tell you?" I asked. "I need you to unlock that phone."

"Sure, no problem." Lao Yao then picked up the phone that was on the computer desk and glanced at it.

"But do you really need me for that?" he asked. "Just reformat the phone and you're good to go."

"No, you can't do that!" I said. "I need to see the files inside. That's why it has to be you!"

"Where did you get this phone?" Lao Yao asked.

"From the dead body," I said.

"From the dead body?!" Lao Yao was so shocked that he dropped the phone, but before the phone hit the ground, he caught them with both his hands. That idiot then smiled and said, "Did I scare you, Little Song? You look adorable when teased!"

To be honest, that really did petrify me. I was sweating cold beads of sweat and now I was furious too!

"Stop fooling around, you idiot!" I scolded him. "I have to return the phone to the police later, you understand? It's a crucial piece of evidence G.o.ddammit!"

"Okay, okay," he said, "I'll get to it right away."

Lao Yao pulled out a laptop computer from his closet and connected the cell phone to it with a USB cable. He then opened a software, and after a few taps on the keyboard, the phone was successfully unlocked.

"There are probably a million different files in here," said Lao Yao while browsing through the phone. "Are you sure you can go through all of them?"

"There's no need to do that," I said. "Just check for deleted files and recover those for me."

"Roger that!"

Lao Yao then opened another software on the computer, lit up a cigarette, and went to work. When he hit the b.u.t.t of his cigarette, all of the deleted files had been recovered.

"There are about forty files here, Little Song," he said as he swept a glance over the list of files. "Take a look at them yourself."

He then got out of his seat to let me take over.

Most of the deleted files were discarded pictures and some downloaded applications, but one particular file stood

"Can you check this file for me, Lao Yao?" I asked, pointing at the doc.u.ment. "It looks a lot like a purchase order. I need to know what it's for."

"Get up!" he ordered.

It only took him five minutes to get the details for that online order, and we found out that the person making the order went by the name of Deng Chao, and his orders included probiotic tablets for pets, a human face mask, a dry ice machine, piano wires, and razor blades.

I couldn't help but smile, because this was exactly the watertight evidence that we needed to prove Deng Chao's guilt!

"Dude," said Dali, turning away from the game, "what the h.e.l.l are these probiotic tablets for pets for anyway?"

"Is the game over?" asked Lao Yao, turning to look at Dali.

"Nah," said Dali, "your Sona just got completely wrecked by Garen again."

"s.h.i.+t!" cursed Lao Yao, "I didn't know you'd be so useless! Move over!"

Lao Yao swiftly took over the game, freeing Dali.

"It's something the murderer used to accelerate the decomposition of the severed head," I explained to Dali.

"Can it really do that?" Dali asked.

"What do the bacteria in our guts do?"

"They help turn the food we eat into p.o.o.p?"

"And what do cats and dogs eat?"

"Cat food? Dog food? And… meat? Ah, I get it!"

The bacteria in the guts of animals were called probiotics because they had a symbiotic relations.h.i.+p with their hosts, but essentially, they were scavenging microorganisms that fed off from the organic matter present in the guts. One of the reasons why a corpse would decompose was because the bacteria would start to feed on the host's body when there was no more food left in the guts!

I had to admire Deng Chao's ingenuity for having thought of this trick! He turned the probiotic tablets for cats and dogs into a paste and applied it onto the severed head to make it rot to a point where even coroners and forensic investigators couldn't identify it nor determine the correct time of death!

However, there was another crucial clue on this order—the piano wires. I had been puzzled over the mystery of how Deng Chao could make the piano wires to fly around in the room as if they were strands of hair all morning, and I finally felt that I was edging closer to the truth.

"Ah, that was a narrow victory!" exclaimed Lao Yao as he won his game. He then came over to me and asked, "How's it going, Little Song? Was I helpful at all?"

"Yeah, absolutely!" I said. "By the way, can you photoshop something?"

"Can I photoshop?" Lao Yao chuckled. "I used to photoshop a bunch of Jay Chou concert tickets and sold them for a fortune! And I did that when I was in high school!"

"That's impressive!" I praised. I pulled out the notes from the plastic bag and handed them to him and said, "Then I've got two more favors to ask you. Firstly, I need you to photoshop a letter using this handwriting. I'll dictate the contents of the letter to you later."

"Okay," he said. "What's the other favor?"

"I need you to spread the news of the two murder cases to all the forums, chatrooms, and WeChat groups that are related to our college, with special emphasis on how I was involved in helping the police to solve these cases. To put it simply, I want you to make me the most talked-about person in our college by the end of the day!"

Lao Yao laughed.

"I didn't know you were the kind of guy who would go after fame," he said. "So your good looks didn't get you anywhere, huh? And now you're going to use your brains to capitalize your fifteen minutes of fame?"

"No more questions," I said. "Will you help me?"

"Sure," said Lao Yao. "I could do any of these things with my eyes closed."

"Are you sure about this, dude?" whispered Dali. "Didn't Xiaotao-jiejie order us not to reveal any details about the case to anyone?"

"It's fine," I replied. "He'll only know a small part of the whole case, so it won't matter much. Besides, this is the only way we can solve the case. I'm sure she'll understand."

"But, you know, Little Song," said Lao Yao, "you never come and see me, and now that you showed up you just dumped a whole bunch of tasks on me! How are you planning to thank me?"

"Uh…" I hesitated. "As long as it doesn't involve my body, I'll give you anything you like. How about lunch?"

"Nope, not interested," he replied, shaking his head. "If that's all I get, then I'm out."

"Fine, I'll pay you then!" I said, unable to think of anything else.

"How much?" asked Lao Yao with gleaming eyes.

"How about three thousand yuan?" I proffered.

"Deal!" replied Lao Yao. "I've been thinking of buying a new graphics card for a while now."

"That's uncharacteristically generous of you, dude," said Dali. "You always insisted on sharing the bills even when we're eating a small meal together."

"You idiot," I said, "you know how little allowance I get from my aunt every month!"

Although I did come from an affluent family, my aunt had read some lousy parenting book that said poverty enriches the character of a boy. This meant that I only got 1,500 yuan per month, leaving me with a very tight budget. It wouldn't be easy for me to fork out that 3,000 yuan, but whatever. If push came to shove, my aunt would probably lend me some money if I asked her on bended knees.

"You don't have to pay me with money, you know?" said Lao Yao while still busy working at the computer. "You can pay me with something else, like letting me take more pictures of you, just like I did last time. I'm getting bored of staring at the same old picture, you know?"

"S-so you really are gay, then?" I asked, with beads of cold sweat all over my body.

"No, you've got it all wrong–I'm not gay," he said, then he inched closer to me and winked, then said, "I'm just interested in you."

I felt like bas.h.i.+ng my head against the wall right then and there, but just then I heard Idiot Dali's voice.

"Then, um…" he mumbled, "I guess I'll leave both of you here. I don't wanna be the third wheel so… see you later!"

I glared at the moron and quickly grabbed his arm before he could get away.

"Don't you dare leave me!" I exclaimed. "You are not going anywhere!"
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