Chapter 7
Haha, this is a quest I can do with ease. I better not take it too far tho a 3-month-old spitting out words like Eminem from rap G.o.d won't roll over too well. I've also started to crawl a bit too recently man my head is f.u.c.king heavy I got my strength up to 3 carrying this f.u.c.ker it must be all my smarts stored up there (ca.s.sie: *snorts*) yep I'm a genius.
For those out there wondering, by the way, most adults have around the 50 to 70s in stats give or take. I'm only good with wisdom and int right now in the 20s and 50s.
I mean I was an adult in my previous life gotta have some smarts to show for it. however, I am learning things like martial arts and occulmency a bit better it must be because of the newborn learning capacity. It's not G.o.dly but it's better than normal my shadow can now live twice as long and I make sure to revive it with experience so it keeps his personality.
I'm going to name my first shadow something cool I'll think of a name later he's taken to fighting gnomes in the garden now I swear he's teaching them. He's only like half a foot tall I've asked him not to murder the ones in our yard and head to the weasely's a few blocks away.
I swear he's holding a grudge I mean they only killed him a few times and now he's ama.s.sing a gnome army. I'm proud of him I watch his progress every night it's like the game of
anyway back to my quest, I think I'll go with the cla.s.sic mama gotta say I'm a mama's boy through and through as I'm thinking my mother is doing that thing all mothers do to babies sitting a bit away making baby sounds to encourage me to crawl to her.
I slowly make my way over with my ma.s.sive noggin swinging all the way right when I'm about to reach her my hands give out under the weight of this melon and I faceplant I get a little b.u.mp on my forehead and instinctively shout out.
"s.h.i.+t!" rubbing my little forehead with tears in my eyes.
...
.
.
.
the silence is deafening then comes the explosion.
"AMOS DIGGORY WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SWEARING AROUND THE BABY YOU KNOW HOW THEY PICK UP WORDS AT THIS AGE AND NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE TAUGHT HIM TONIGHT YOUR SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!!!" mother starts shouting up a storm.
It was like a whale gave birth to a roaring t-rex she was on a roll shouting up a storm that made the windows shake I looked at my father with pity and he just looked gobsmacked at the whole situation.
I hear ca.s.sie snickering in my head along with a quest complete notification guess I really did surprise them.
After about 20 minutes of yelling mother finally calms down I hear some exciting news.
"so we have a play date for Ryan and little Luna tomorrow while you're at the ministry we won't be home till late so pick up something to eat at the cauldron also we've been running a bit low on pepper up potions pick some up at the apothecary." mom says still glaring at dad.
"yes dear," he replies meekly.
"And if I so much as hear a swear from your mouth its the couch for a month." ooooh a month.
"Yes, dear." (dad's whipped).
"Now sweety says mama cmon mama" she coos with a twinkling glint in her eyes.
The look in her eyes is terrifying, I fear what would happen if I don't say it
women are scary
After my daily ritual of occulmency which I'm a master at now which means it would take a long time to force their way into my noggin but I still need to get better there are many levels above the master. (low-grade medium grade high-grade master grandmaster king emperor saint ascendant G.o.dly) I want my mind protected from everything there's some scary stuff out there like the imperious curse.
I ain't having none of that. I'm super excited about tomorrow I'm going to do what I can to make Luna mine she's one of the best wives after all but that all comes much later. until then I'll be one of her best friends I won't have her lonely in this life, nope I refuse to let it happen like that and anyone found bullying her gets socked right in the mouth little s.h.i.+ts.
Sleep comes peacefully thinking about beating up eleven-year-Olds like Malfoy, shouts of "my father will hear about this!" are like battle music from the heavens.
.....
Meanwhile, the shadow is teaching the gnomes proper muay Thai stances and how to deliver a good elbow. They have recently taken down the neighborhood stray cats and shown great improvement. Soon we shall March on the red-headed demons battalion and slaughter our way to victory, soon I'll have my vengeance.