Chapter 111
Raffles had also said that he wanted to be my star, to watch over me and to guard me…
"You think he isn't happy. Maybe, he doesn't feel unhappy. You think that you are acting for his own good but he might actually feel hurt. Luo Bing, your views are not necessarily Raffles'. What his thoughts are, what makes him happy, how he feels, only Raffles knows himself." Brother Qian Li slowly turned and looked in the direction of the reservoir.
After he said those words, he didn't speak anymore. He only watched the night sky and the end of the universe in silence, as though a.r.s.enal was standing there with her hair fluttering in the moonlight.
I turned to look at the starry night sky again. I'd thought that Raffles was unhappy but maybe he didn't feel unhappy. I'd thought that it was unfair to Raffles but maybe he didn't find it unfair…
What can I do that can be considered as good to him… A decision to make him happy…
He only wants… to stay by my side and be my star…
He'd be very happy even if that is all he gets…
If I don't try, how would I know if I'll like him or not…
Give him a chance. Maybe… it is giving myself a chance too…
But…
I've suddenly lost the courage…
to go back…
Now, I understood that true courage was when one faced theirs and others' feelings. I could charge in and kill enemies in a war zone without flinching, but I had no courage to face Raffles who I had rejected.
Raffles, how did he do what he'd done? He had stood before me and said to me, "I like you…"
On the second day after my birthday, what I had worried about the most happened.
Raffles hid in his lab and never came out. Harry started avoiding me too. The guys stayed away from me as well, as if they were trying to avoid the awkwardness. Somehow, the girls didn't know how to talk to me too.
I was also absent-minded. When I was eating, during training, when I was taking a shower…
I felt a heavy weight on my chest. The adults seemed to know what had happened too; they sighed whenever they saw me.
I was unable to fall asleep, just like the insomnia that Harry had mentioned in his self-criticism letter back then. I felt unsettled, disturbed, and I couldn't focus.
Raffles avoided me and Harry avoided me too. I felt awkward to go looking for them. I was the one who had caused them trouble and upset them. In the end, I became upset too.
I had only myself to thank. I shouldn't have run away back then.
Even Little Carl looked crestfallen. He had been staying with the birds
"Tsk, sigh…" Hearing someone sigh on the bridge above, I gradually came back to my senses. I didn't know how long I'd been sitting under the bridge. Looking up, I heard Sis Ceci's voice, "The three children… They make me worried…"
"Don't worry. It is very normal. They'll be fine soon," Uncle Mason comforted her.
"I told you long ago. It isn't time yet. Raffles has always been timid. Why is he so courageous this time?!"
"When a boy confesses his love to a girl, his courage would erupt! On the other hand, Little Bing, who can kill any monster during normal days, ran away when Raffles confessed."
"I think Little Bing didn't want to reject Raffles. She was worried they would become awkward. The more she cares about someone, the more she'd be worried about hurting that person…"
"Isn't running away also a form of rejection…"
"That's why he might as well keep it to himself. Then, they could still remain friends. After a year or two, their feelings would develop eventually."
"What if Little Bing likes someone else by then? Look at how charming Little Bing is! There was He Lei, there was even Xing Chuan from Silver Moon City! She is always out on missions. Even Elder Alufa thought that she could bring more powerful metahumans back. By then, where would Raffles stand? Raffles is our child who was raised up here. How can we let other men have Little Bing?"
"Sigh! I think they panicked! Harry, that b*stard, he's of no help at all!"
"Are you really our son's mother?! He is already in so much pain!"
"Forget it. Let them take care of it themselves. It's great that Raffles has been focusing on his new invention in the lab. Has he resolved Qian Li's issue?"
"If Qian Li's issue could be resolved, Qian Li will have higher hopes during a.r.s.enal's coming-to-age ceremony. Today should be Qian Li's last day on duty. Tomorrow, Qian Li's robot will go on duty."
"Mm, Noah City is going to be better. Oh yeah, you say… should I pick another man?"
"Cough, cough, cough…"
"There are so many children now, I'm thinking…"
"That's not nice. Picking a kid around Harry's age, should Harry call him his brother or his stepdad?"
"Hahahaha…" Sis Ceci burst out in laughter.
"Do I not satisfy you? Are you complaining that I don't last long enough? That's not right… Forty minutes and you think it's not long enough…"
"Cough, cough, cough…" Sis Ceci coughed vigorously. "Shameless! How can you talk about this here?!" Sis Ceci punched Uncle Mason and turned to leave.
"Hehehehe, my wife, will you like it now…" Uncle Mason caught up with her. I walked out from under the bridge and happened to see Uncle Mason squeezing Sis Ceci's firm, s.e.xy bottom!
My body stiffened and I quickly turned around. Today was Brother Qian Li's last day on duty. How could I be so muddle-headed? Raffles has already built Qian Li's robot?!
My head was aching because I hadn't slept well for the past few days. I can't continue like this. I don't want to go one like this! This is so not me.
However, Raffles had suddenly confessed to me and I was now in a fix. Just like what Sis Ceci had said, Raffles was too important to me and I didn't want to hurt him. But in the end, what I'd done had ended up hurting him. I could only blame myself for not having experience in romantic relations.h.i.+ps.
I wasn't even seventeen yet. What could I do?
I knitted my eyebrows. I'd once told Harry to give Sis Ming You an answer, but what was I doing now? It was easier said than done.
I wanted to look for Raffles. I didn't want the three of us to be like this anymore!
I took a deep breath and gathered enough courage. Then, I ran before Raffles' lab. I stood there for very long until my face was all red. Then, I lifted my hand to knock on the door. "Raffles! Raffles!"
The door opened but there was only Little Carl.
"Where's your father?"
"He went out…" Little Carl still looked crestfallen. "Master… When are you going to patch things back with father? He never sleeps. Little Carl is worried for him…"
He was his son after all. He was concerned about Raffles not sleeping, but he showed zero concern about his master, I, for not sleeping.
"Do you know where he went?"
Little Carl shook his head.
My heart dropped. I'd finally gathered enough courage to come and look for him but he wasn't here. I didn't know if I could bring myself to try again next time.
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