Chapter 8
"Nyx, Amor didn't mean all of that," Yna lied as she walked over and sat in front of me, not caring the gra.s.s is wet or that she'll get dirty.
"We both know she clearly did."
"Ok she did but she's wrong, it's not your fault and you did the right thing leaving the group."
"It is, I knew my dad has a talent for taking out his anger on others but I didn't care at that time, all cared about was leaving the group."
"It seems you didn't have an easy life either, I know you don't like talking about it but it will really help."
"My mum died a day after I was born and that changed everything. My dad turned dark, gathered a few people and created the group. Over the years, more people who agreed with them joined. My dad was depressed and angry. I was raised by the group and I have had to train everyday, morning till night only stopping to eat, since I could walk. Because education was important to my dad, I studied all day during the weekend, the time we got off. I was told lots of scary stories about you and your family. I was pretty much ignored by my father, the only people that paid attention to me was the members of the group. He didn't care about it, all he cared about was you which I found strange since he my dad. Anytime I ask questions about why how lives was the way it was I was ignored, " I ranted, half shocked I was telling her everything. But it felt so right. She said nothing, she just stared into my eyes and absorbed, each word, each sigh. She gave me something I never knew I wanted.
"The more his plans failed the more ruthless my dad got. It got to a point he started taking out all his anger on me. He would ignore me before each attack and anytime I tried to talk to him he will tell me I was getting in the way of everything. After the attacks, he will come home furious and he take out his anger on me and pretty much blame me for his failures. I cried myself to sleep every night until I came here of course, I am happy here. I was often beaten and insulted by my dad, the other members felt sorry for me but couldn't do anything about it. I wasn't allowed to go to any of the attacks until the day I killed your cousin. I hated you because it was all your fault. I was excited that day because I would finally prove to my dad that I deserved his love and respect. I was determined to do anything if it meant I get the life I've always wanted and a happy relations.h.i.+p with my dad. All my life I felt I was an unwanted burden, I didn't want to live and the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you dying."
Telling her didn't feel as bad as I have been imagine this past few days. I felt so much better than I thought I will. It was somewhat comforting. With her I felt the comfort I had always craved. I was aware of my growing interests and what it meant to everything. I was aware none were replicated by her. Like she said earlier she just feels grateful. That's all.
"Do you still hate me?" she asked hurt in her eyes.
Maybe, I shouldn't have told her the only thing that kept me alive was seeing her dead. I think that was a bit too far.
"No not anymore, I stopped hating you the second I saw you, you looked so innocent. You looked like you being forced to live like this just like I was. We didn't choose our lives, our lives chose us."
"I can't believe you were treated that way," she said and pulled me into a tight hug. She's just sympathetic, she probably feels it is then least she could after you saved her, I repeated to myself.
Her scent of raspberries and lavender
"Your hair smells like raspberries. Its making me hungry," I joked as I pushed her away.
"You should never feel like an unwanted burden because you're not. You are important just like everyone else and you are perfect the way you are. Also, I will make sure no one ever hurts you again. I promise." Her words warmed my heart. Before I realised how wrong it was, I placed her on my lap, brought my face closer to hers, my eyes laid on her lips.
"We shouldn't do this but I don't care," I whispered to her and with that I closed the gap between us. Her lips were soft and sweet. She was tensed at first, but then she kissed back. Her hands encircled my neck and I wrapped my hands around her waist.
The heat slithered across my skin, and filled every corner of my mind. Fireflies exploded in my stomach making me quiver with desire. I knew I had to break the kiss. I was perfectly aware of how wrong it was. But it felt so right, like all my life had been leading to this moment so instead I deepened it.
Time stopped. My heartbeats sped up and blood rushed through my veins. I placed my hand on her chest and felt it pound beneath my fingers. l.u.s.t spread across my body.
This was wrong. We shouldn't do this. She doesn't want this. Her uncle will freak if he saw this?
"You taste like strawberries and you haven't eaten any strawberries, how do you do that?" I said stupidly breaking it off. I cursed under my breath and avoided her gaze. I couldn't believe I just had the kiss of the lifetime and the first thing you ask is how she taste like strawberries. But even more I couldn't believe I just did. I couldn't believe I was so stupid to risk everything like that. I didn't understand why she would want any of this, why I would want any of this. I pulled away and walked inside before she had a chance to talk.
***
"Nyx, it has come to my notice that I went a little too far," Amor said.
"A little?"
"Don't push it, I'm trying my best here."
"You know what, I don't want your meaningless apology. I know the only reason you are apologising is because of her so don't fake it if you can't mean it," I snapped.
"Enough about that we have better things to do. Yna from now on you will be taught all your lessons by Amor since she knows more than we do."
"Shall we start now, your highness?"
"Of course, " Yna beamed. I was right she never wanted that. She can't even wait to get away from me. I felt my blood boiled but then she turned round and waved and I felt the brewing storm in me calmed. I broke into the most embarra.s.sing smile and blushed profusely.
"And Yna you are to stop spending time with that thing, " her uncle ordered.
I have a name, how would you like me calling you thing and making you feel worthless.
Exactly like my dad does.
"He has a name, its Nyx and you can't tell me who I should hang out with," she replied. Her words warmed my heart, my face grew hot. I turned away and made a mission to avoid everyone's gaze.
"I'm your uncle-"
"And I'm a princess."
"Eduardo let her spend time with whoever she wants, " her grandmother said and shot me a smile.
Does she know? Could she tell? I thought, worried that everyone was aware of what had happen. I felt my face burn.
"But m"
"Nyx is a sweet little boy, I know you don't like him but I like him so just give him a break, son."
"Thanks, gran, " I muttered as I continued to avoid her gaze
"You can't call her gran since you are not her grandchild," her aunt informed me.
"Actually he is allowed to call me gran, Laila."
"Gran you can't just do that."
"Why not, and I thought you liked him Luisa."
"Yeah but not anymore," Luisa muttered bringing me back to reality.
"Why, you were defending him 30 minutes ago."
"Yeah, I still liked him then."
"Why don't you like me anymore?
"Don't talk to me," she snapped and stormed out of the room.
"What's up with her?"
"Who knows, I will go talk to her."
"Not right now, Yna. You can talk to later, right now you have lessons with Amor."
"Fine, Amor let's do the lessons in my room."
"Of course, your highness."
I was left alone with the rest of her family with only her grandmother left to protect me.
At least I'm not alone with her uncle. I couldn't understand what I could have done wrong to offend Luisa.
"Nia is it, I need you to stay away from her, she needs to concentrate and doesn't need any distractions," Eduardo said. I was shocked. He actually called me by a name. Not exactly correct but it was a step in the right direction.
"Nyx is not a distraction."
"He is, Adriana."
"Oh shut up Laila, no one invited you to this conversation. It's between me and my son, and its ma'am to you," grandma snapped. I never knew there's this side of gran.
"Má, please stop talking to my wife like that and why are you defending that thing?"
"I will talk to her the way I like and I am defending him because that is what my granddaughter wants. Why couldn't you find a good person to marry like your sister did?"
"Why don't you like me, I try my hardest to get you to like me but you don't, even Yna doesn't like me," Yna's aunt said in tears. I'm not sure I want to be a part of this conversation anymore.
"I'm sorry but we don't like spoilt brats," gran snapped back.
"Ma!"
"What, she is such an over the top drama queen and I don't like that, she's been spoilt since she was born."
"She is not spoilt, she's just sensitive and you boast so much about how my sister found a good person to marry and where did that get her? She didn't even get to spend one month with her daughter. So much for finding a good guy to marry. I will rather marry a spoilt brat than marry a good person and end up dead a year later!" Eduardo shrieked. That seemed to strike a cord because gran started crying almost immediately.
"Ma," her son said guiltily.
"Don't talk to me, Nyx, let's go."
"I'm sorry, ma."
I helped gran up, leading her out of room, feeling somewhat guilty.
"Nyx, don't tell Yna about anything you heard, she doesn't know about the relations.h.i.+p between me and her aunt. None of my grandchildren know and I want it to stay that way."
"Of course."
"You know, I never agreed to their marriage, I was so furious that Eduardo went ahead with the wedding that I didn't go to it. She is and will never be good enough for my son. I didn't like her extravagant lifestyle. She was spoilt by her parents before she decided to marry my son. Her parents didn't agree to the marriage either. They were not going to let her marry someone who was not as rich as them if the person wasn't richer. They insulted him and even me. They cut ties with her and gave her inheritance to her brother when they heard she went ahead with the marriage," gran explained.
"I didn't know you didn't like her, you never showed any sign of it."
"That's because of the grandchildren, we had an agreement when Ara, her first child, was born that we would never argue in front of the kids. I didn't want to my grandkids seeing that. But it is so hard sometimes," she whispered her voice still shaking.