Lord Kilgobbin

'Well, you'll be gratified to know he retracts it. He says now he'll only give 35! And as for the screws, Bobbidge, of the Carbineers, will take them both for 50.'

'Why, Lightfoot alone is worth the money!'

'Minus the sand-crack.'

'I deny the sand-crack. She was p.r.i.c.ked in the shoeing.'

'Of course! I never knew a broken knee that wasn't got by striking the manger, nor a sand-crack that didn't come of an awkward smith.'

'What a blessing it would be if all the bad reputations in society could be palliated as pleasantly.'

'Shall I tell Bobbidge you take his offer? He wants an answer at once.'

'My dear major, don't you know that the fellow who says that, simply means to say: "Don't be too sure that I shall not change my mind." Look out that you take the ball at the hop!'

'Lucky if it hops at all.'

'Is that your experience of life?' said Walpole inquiringly.

'It is one of them. Will you take 50 for the screws?'

'Yes; and as much more for the break and the dog-cart. I want every rap I can sc.r.a.pe together, Harry. I'm going out to Guatemala.'

'I heard that.'

'Infernal place; at least, I believe, in climate--reptiles, fevers, a.s.sa.s.sination--it stands without a rival.'

'So they tell me.'

'It was the only thing vacant; and they rather affected a difficulty about giving it.'

'So they do when they send a man to the Gold Coast; and they tell the newspapers to say what a lucky dog he is.'

'I can stand all that. What really kills me is giving a man the C.B. when he is just booked for some home of yellow fever.'

'They do that too,' gravely observed the other, who was beginning to feel the pace of the conversation rather too fast for him. 'Don't you smoke?'

'I'm rather reducing myself to half batta in tobacco. I've thoughts of marrying.'

'Don't do that.'

'Why? It's not wrong.'

'No, perhaps not; but it's stupid.'

'Come now, old fellow, life out there in the tropics is not so jolly

'The nice girl wouldn't go there.'

'I'm not so sure of that. With your great knowledge of life, you must know that there has been a glut in "the nice-girl" market these years back.

Prime lots are sold for a song occasionally, and first-rate samples sent as far as Calcutta. The truth is, the fellow who looks like a real buyer may have the pick of the fair, as they call it here.'

So he ought,' growled out the major.

'The speech is not a gallant one. You are scarcely complimentary to the ladies, Lockwood.'

'It was you that talked of a woman like a cow, or a sack of corn, not I.'

'I employed an ill.u.s.tration to answer one of your own arguments.'

'Who is she to be?' bluntly asked the major.

'I'll tell you whom I mean to ask, for I have not put the question yet.'

'A long, fine whistle expressed the other's astonishment. 'And are you so sure she'll say Yes?'

'I have no other a.s.surance than the conviction that a woman might do worse.'

'Humph! perhaps she might. I'm not quite certain; but who is she to be?'

'Do you remember a visit we made together to a certain Kilgobbin Castle.'

'To be sure I do. A rum old ruin it was.'

'Do you remember two young ladies we met there?'

'Perfectly. Are you going to marry both of them?'

'My intention is to propose to one, and I imagine I need not tell you which?'

'Naturally, the Irish girl. She saved your life--'

'Pray let me undeceive you in a double error. It is not the Irish girl; nor did she save my life.'

'Perhaps not; but she risked her own to save yours. You said so yourself at the time.'

'We'll not discuss the point now. I hope I feel duly grateful for the young lady's heroism, though it is not exactly my intention to record my grat.i.tude in a special license.'

'A very equivocal sort of repayment,' grumbled out Lockwood.

'You are epigrammatic this evening, major.'

'So, then, it's the Greek you mean to marry?'

'It is the Greek I mean to ask.'

'All right. I hope she'll take you. I think, on the whole, you suit each other. If I were at all disposed to that sort of bondage, I don't know a girl I'd rather risk the road with than the Irish cousin, Miss Kearney.'

'She is very pretty, exceedingly obliging, and has most winning manners.'