Chapter 38
I keep reading over what he sent. Each time I scan over I feel more and more guilty.
"Come now, we haven't much time Rico."
"I thought I told you not to call me that."
"Oh hush, just follow me, we're almost done."
She runs her hand up my arm.
"Don't touch me."
I jerk away.
"Aw, you're so mean Rico, oh, I mean Ricky."
We walk into her office and she sits on top of her desk,
"Well, are you gonna stand there or are you gonna come over here?"
'Ugh, this b.i.t.c.h is so desperate.'
"You know why i'm here, just hand it over so I can go the f.u.c.k home."
She's taps her nails against the desk,
"You think i'm f.u.c.king stupid Ricky? You think I don't know what you're planning?"
"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about? I'm just tryna get home."
's.h.i.+t, what does she know?!'
She grins,
"You want me to join you, help you out, make you..."
She comes closer to me and touches my face,
"Stronger."
"Pft, you think I want you?! I have a beautiful fiancé waiting for me at home, what the f.u.c.k makes you think that i'd ever need, let alone want you?!"
I can't help but burst out laughing at her dumb comment.
"You laugh but i'm completely honest. I will become your second hand and we will rule as one."
She hands over the envelope and I make my way near the door,
"You try to pull some slick s.h.i.+t over my head again and i'll kill you myself. Don't contact me again Lucy."
I pull my keys out of my pocket and head for the exit.
***
"Hey man,"
I scratch the back of my head,
"Is uh, is she upstairs?"
He pulls the cover off of him and shows Kaz napping on the couch with her legs sprawled on his lap.
"You were gone for hours Ricky. She hates being alone."
I walk over to the couch and look at her. She seems to be sleeping so peacefully but her lip twitches a bit, like she's dreaming.
"I know, things got a little out of hand but I swear i've got it under control now. How was the job?"
He slumps back,
"She killed every single person in that place. I waited in the car for a little then headed inside to check it out but,"
He looks over at her with a strange face i've never seen him make before, was it fear?
"She's like a robot, just taking orders and killing
"Hm, I know but it can't be helped, that's just how she is. Did she eat?"
He shakes his head,
"She said she didn't have an appet.i.te so we came straight home."
"d.a.m.n, she's probably p.i.s.sed."
"Yup, probably."
He finally looks at me,
"You're an a.s.shole Ricky, and I think you already knew that."
I sigh,
"Yeah, I knew that already..."
Kaz slowly sits up and looks at me,
"Oh, you're back."
She looks at me with such a weird face.
"You uh, you wanna go upstairs and talk?"
She looks over at Carlos. They make expressions at each other,
"Are you two having a face conversation?"
Carlos rolls his eyes,
"Well we were."
"Ok, we can talk."
She gets off the couch and heads upstairs without me,
"Hey man, you better not f.u.c.k this up. One wrong move and she'll eat you alive."
"Easier said than done."
Walking up these stairs feels like a walk of shame. Each step makes my stomach feel like a knot getting tighter and tighter.
I open the door to our room and see her sitting on the bed. Her hand is in between her legs and she's making heavy eye contact with me.
"Well? You gonna stand there or are you gonna talk?"
"Right,"
I join her on the bed,
"So uh, how you been?"
'Really?! That's the best I could come up with?!'
"That's not what you wanna ask me Ricky. Ask again."
's.h.i.+t, I hate how she can read me like a f.u.c.king book.'
I take a deep breath in,
"Are-are you happy being with me Kazmaria? Are you happy living this life, as a criminal? As a gang member?"
"Ahh, there it is. The real reason why you've been so paranoid lately."
She stands up and begins to pace around the room,
"I honestly don't know what to tell you Ricky, haven't been this happy before in my life, this is what I was born to do, what I was made for and for some d.a.m.n reason you can't except that!"
"What?! I just want you to be happy and more importantly safe! I just thought I was helping you!"
"Oh really?! Helping me?! By doing what?! Being the only person I love and care about and acting like you don't care?! Leaving me here..."
Her voice is shaky and her eyes start to water,
"Leaving me here alone."
She stops walking and looks at me; I grab her and hold her close to me,
"Hey, por favor no llores amor,"
(Hey please don't cry love,)
She pushes me off of her,
"Don't. Don't do that."
She wipes her tears,
"Don't what?"
"Don't try to act like this is normal Ricky, don't do it."
"Like what is normal? Me comforting you when you're clearly hysterical?!"
"No! Like you can control me!"
"Is that what you think i've been doing?"
I take a step back, I feel like my heart stopped beating.
"You...you think I want total control over you."
"T-thats not what I meant-"
"Maybe you're right Kaz...maybe you deserve to really be free."
She scrunches her brows,
"What are you t-"
"Maybe we should..."
"You're leaving me. Aren't you?"
She collapses on the floor,
"What?! No, I was saying maybe we should spend more time together."
She grabs hold of my pants and looks up at me,
"Ricky, I don't know what's wrong with me...I just need you."
I pick her up and pull her into my chest,
"And I need you, so let me take care of you Kaz."
We lock eyes. I look down at her round lips then back at her,
"I...I want you Ricardo."
"N-now? But we were-"
She covers my mouth and grabs my hand, slowly leading it down her panties,
"I know what I want, and right now I want you."